It’s raining here. The thunder is pounding an angry turn while the rains tap dances on every surface. I lie awake listening as my mind writes stories about the rain when it kisses the surface of a pond . The majesty of it all is lost on people who rush about, concerned more with the inconvenience. But i am fully present in this moment. I am thankful for this gift. The rain begins to quiet. Once invigorated by the echo of the thunder I am now lulled into a sweet calm. The rain sings a sweet lullaby as I settle down to sleep.
Contentment, why do you evade me?
Peace, why do you avoid me?
Calm, why don’t you choose me?
Anxiety, why are we friends?
Today, I’ll settle down with contentment.
Today, I’ll confront and own my peace.
Today, I choose calm.
Anxiety, I’m breaking up with you.
You’ve been carefully tucked in the corners of my heart. Still, you invade the spaces of my mind that come alive when least expected. Your face, frozen in time and committed to memory, comes alive when your name passes my lips. I play the memories like my favorite love song. The song so cryptic that it sings truth to only my soul. I sing into the wind the melody that I held back for so long. So many words never written, never spoken but absolute truth. What could have been? What would have been? I’m drowning in regret. I’ve got no one to blame but myself for ending our book. How did my mouth betray my heart and toss away the love for which we longed? For now, I tuck you carefully back into...
For far too long I have allowed myself to be devalued. Your actions tell a story that says I am not enough. The games that you play rip at the threads of my self worth as I drown in the swamp of a thousand lies. So effortlessly you mutter words of disdain with your poisonous breath. I let you lead me right into the abyss of self loathing. I followed your lead as you drug me lower and deeper.
Just when I’d surrendered the last fragment of my dignity...
I remembered that I know my way out. I’ve been here before and I know it’s not where I belong. I will not live in this place with you. Stay here if you wish but I know who I am! I am better than this and I deserve more from myself and for mys...
So numb is my existence.
So absent is you presence.
The silence slices through our limbs that were once intertwined.
Our roots, once solid, have begun to rot.
Our foundation crumbles with every unspoken truth.
All of the time spent building has become time wasted.
Your solitude is poison in your veins which will infect the union.
Care not, the transformation has begun. Speak not, it’s already over. Regret not, it is what you’ve chosen.
Why did you think I didn’t need you?
I needed to hear that I’m beautiful
I needed to know that I’m loved
I needed to know that I’m appreciated
I needed to know that I’m valued
I needed to know that I am “it”
I needed you...
I needed to be touched
I needed my hand held
I needed to be kissed
I needed a smile
I needed to be nurtured.
I needed you...
I needed a partner
I needed a friend
I needed you
Why did you think I didn’t need you?
Loneliness: It follows you every moment of everyday. The crowds intensify the feelings and the smiles of passerby's create longing for companionship. It's not being alone that produces emptiness but being surrounded by those who choose distance. How have I come to be invisible to the one that I have loved the hardest? How do I find what has been lost?
You will crave my presence. You will crave my soft skin pressed against your own. You will crave the whisperings that once penetrated your sleep. You will crave my feet wound around yours and my fingers which once traced the lines of your body. You will crave the sweetness of my kiss that only our souls understand. You will long for every little thing that drove you mad and made you question your logic.
Your moment of impulse will pass and your fling will not sustain you. Forever more, you will crave the women you never knew you needed so badly.
"It's a wonderful thing, as time goes by,
to be with someone who looks into your face when you've gotten old and still sees what you think you look like."
From the movie
Oh, but their laugh...
Their laugh would shine the lights of a thousand Christmas celebrations.
Their innocence brought the warmth of a crackling fire to hearts that had grown cold.
Their joy as infectious as a newborns smile.
My beautiful children whom my heart adores.
I'll choke on the hurt and we'll continue to pretend
With your silent passive aggression you wound me yet again
So many things I cannot say in order to play your game
Don't acknowledge the poison you spread I'll keep drowning in your blame
I am sorry.
I am sorry that you are not here.
I am sorry that you went.
I am sorry that sorrow has taken your place.
I am sorry that I cannot hold you.
I am sorry that I can not celebrate you.
I am sorry that I could not give more meaning to your life.
I am sorry that my nurturing was not enough.
I am sorry that you could not be.
I am sorry that we could not be.
I am sorry that I don't even know your name.
I am sorry for so many things...
Sorrow is all that remains but I still love you.
As a year slowly dies to be reborn again, I ask you for a friend, a snowman can you send? I want to touch the frigid face of the man who will surly leave, because lasting forever together is only make believe. I wish to see him one more time to ignite feelings of long ago, but Santa this time please, make him not of snow.
~Love is the force that drives all mankind. We seek it, we crave it, we require it.
~Love is absolute truth expressed without question.
~Love is what grows in every man, woman, and child from the beginning of time and forevermore.
~Love is our highest purpose.
~Love is our universal language.
~Love is our human connection.
Do you see me?
Do you know me?
Do you remember the woman that you fell in love with?
I'm sure that you don't.
Not even she can see.
Not even she knows herself.
Not even she remembers the woman that you feel in love with.
I waited so long for you.
I waited so long for you to see me.
I waited so long for you to want to know me.
I waited so long for you to remember that you chose me.
I waited so long that I lost myself.
I can't see that woman.
I don't know that woman.
I don't remember that woman and I don't remember that love.
I am going to stop waiting so that I can find myself again.
My baby, dear
He came into her life
Things changing so fast
This would be her chance
To erase mistakes of her past
A never ending friendship
Was all she wished for
And with this new love
She'd have someone to adore
Was that all the time she had
To show him her love
Well that's not so bad
They grow up so quickly
But it would be hard on her own
Because he had a father
Whom never even phoned
As she counted his fingers
And tickled his toes
Her thoughts began to wander
Wondering, does he know?
"Don't worry mommy,
I am still young."
"It won't bother me
Because I am YOUR son."
Many years later
She recalls the day
When her baby left her
And went so far away
She can't help but question
She was most beautiful
When she was loved by him.
Her heart spoke most fluently
when she shared it with him.
She was finally home
when she found him.
It is very possible
I for your heart to break
a little at a time
and then all at once.
I am so tired. I just want it to be over but don't want to quit.
I am so tired. I want to see the end but I don't want to miss out.
I am so tired. I want to be free but not without people.
I am so tired but I have to keep going to get what I want.
You're not in love with him.
If speaking badly about him to your friends doesn't feel like poison coming from your mouth, you're not in love with him.
If you can't see every moment of your future when you look into his eyes, you're not in love with him.
If his laughter doesn't calm your soul and ignite your spirit all in one moment, you're not in love with him.
If his voice doesn't heal every brokenness of your past, you're not in love with him.
If his smile doesn't light up your day like the warm summer sun, you're not in love with him.
If loosing him is when you pay the most
attention to him, then you were never in love with him.
You're not in love with her.
If yelling at her in an argument doesn't make your throat burn like you just downed six shots, you're not in love with her.
If her eyes can't make you stop in your tracks and think about what you're about to say next, you're not in love with her.
If her laugh doesn't make you tense up your knuckles thinking about never hearing it again, you're not in love with her.
If her voice can't calm your worst anxiety attacks and make you want to listen to anything she has to say, you're not in love with her.
If her smile doesn't make your chest quake and your lungs shrink, but feel refreshed all in one motion, you're not in love with her.
If her taking off her clothes is w...
It is completely possible to be in a crowded room and feel complete loneliness. Perhaps the best cure for this is to learn to love and enjoy oneself.
I adore my children. I don't adore them because I gave birth to them. I adore my children because they are perfectly amazing human beings.
Happily, I walk with you
Pride filled, we stand
Unashamed, I kiss you
Lovingly, you hold my hand
Fearfully, I fall for you
Promptly, we unite
Hopefully, I trust you
Quickly, we fight
Arrogantly, you own me
Sadly, I succumb
Powerfully, we crumble
Finally, I am numb
You must love yourself before receiving genuine love from another. Be the best you possible but more importantly be kind to yourself. What you tell yourself about you, others will also believe.
When morning comes
let it be a new day.
Let the things of yesterday
die with the sunset.
Allow love and life to be reborn
with each new dawn.
Do not dwell on the past
but breathe in each new moment.
You will have the kind of love that you
create. You will attract the kind of love
that you give. Be the greatest love of