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A.J.

PO# 606385
India
India
A bathroom singer. Back page writer. Random doodling champ. Possessing an extremely philosophical alter ego.
March 11, 2019
 

Random..

How much of my brain is wilfully my own?
How much of it is not a rubber stamp of what I have read and heard and lived?

I'm scared, more often than not. About where am I headed?
Is this what I really want?

I'm the captain of my own ship, I get to row it, I get to set its course.
Yet I decided to go with the flow.
I was in a bubble, own world of tender comfort..
It burst.

Decisions, questionable.
Thoughts, misleading.
Dreams, dilusional.
Mind, often wavering.
Soul, ever so hollow.
Misery, unending.

This is what it lead to.

At times I wonder, if I met my past self, would I be proud of how I'm leading my life?
A tedious job.
Monotony.
That never ending feeling of be...

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY
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September 16, 2018
 

The Mirage.

I close my eyes,
Trying to feel something,
Trying to seize this moment.

Bending down,
I feel soft grass lush green,
Brushing ever so gently against my skin

I feel the warmth of the sun setting,
Submerging itself into the ocean of infinity.

Wild colours surround me,
The warm breeze even tugged a smile out of me, and in bliss I yell, Yell how much this moment means to me.

But then, I open my eyes..
Only to see the mirage vanish away,
Along with my glittering smile.

My eyes no longer have the twinkle,
My head feels dull & lifeless.
The only warmth, alas was in my dark bitter coffee.

Did any of this really suppose to really happen?
Sheltering responsibilities, we killed our ...

STRAIGHT LINES
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September 7, 2018
 

Shooting star.

I was your shooting star,
The one that lit up your sky, even though just for a moment.
The one that made your gloomy nights brighter.
The one that made you smile a bit wider.

I was your shooting star,
The one you looked upto, to tell all your wishes..
The one you confided in, to fulfil them even.

I am your shooting star,
I stay true to my name,
Made up of rock & dust I am,
I burn myself over, as fall deep, deeper in this infinity in a loop.

I am your shooting star,
All that I do is for your glimmering smile.
You make my insignificant existence significantly worthwhile.

As I fade into oblivion,
I see your eyes gaze at me.
I burn, I am in pain.
But I resurrect, I resurface
J...

GREAT THINGS
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September 7, 2018
 

Some days.

Some days we talk,
Some days I sit alone,
Reading a book in a corner,
Oblivious to the world around me.
An outsider to the world as a whole yet striving to be whole, alone.

Some days we talk,
Some days I can't be bothered.
It's not you, it's not them, it's me.
I'm different you see.
You stay in the here and now,
But me, I can't really see the world around me.

Some days I laugh, in delight I shout.
Somedays I frown, excessively.
Spend time trying to rejoice every little thing,
Yet obsessively think about thoughts which put me out.

Some days we talk,
Some days I just like to think.
So I sit back and watch the world go by & I think about us all.
About who we are,
what we are doi...

GREAT THINGS
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September 4, 2018
 

Reaching out//north star

I wish I could be wherever you are..
Why do you have to be so distant, so afar.

Reaching out, no I can't go further,
The more I reach closer you slip further away,far far away.

Like something in the skies, hovering above me.
Something in sight, someone so right..but I can't grasp you, can't hold on to you..
I reach out again, see you go flying further away..

You are like a star..
A burning celestial..your sight, brightens up my dull night..
Oh, I reach out for you again..only to fail again...

I don't like it where I am.
It's hollow. How do I fill up the void left by you..

So I am reaching out to you yet another time, one amongst many 'final times'.

Wishing I...

STARS
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March 30, 2018
 

I could spend my whole life getting over you.
Only if that was enough.

Enslaved I am, for life and beyond. By you. Striving, fighting for my freedom.
Only if that was enough.
Looking for deliverance, I am. Consoling myself, trying to look forward; move on.
Only if that was enough.
I try, I try really too hard getting over you. Try to shove all what pulls me back.
Only if that was enough.

I could spend my whole life getting over you.
Only if that was enough.

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DAY OF TRUTH
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March 12, 2018
 

I am in my early 20's and I'm worried, terribly worried..
I have this sense of urgency inside of me.. Urgency to achieve a lot, maximum that I can in the next 6-7 years..
But why is there a deadline to this? A deadline for me achieving success..
Maybe this is what the society has shown me.. Failures are looked upon as some crime rather than being taken as lessons,lessons for life.
Why is there a deadline for success?
Why the rush? Why the pandemonium?
Why can we not take our own time to taste success?
I really feel insecure..
Don't you too?
  

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LETTRS CHALK
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March 12, 2018
 

I was incomplete before you entered, never bothered by that, never craved of it...Life always moved on, ahead..

And now that you've left, I am incomplete again.. Why am I bothered by it? Why am I craving to be whole again? Why isn't life moving on, ahead?

I wish you never completed me, never made me feel whole. Cause now the void that you've left behind, inside of me just can't be filled by anyone else other than you.

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LETTRS CHALK
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March 12, 2018
 

Weren't you my moon?
The light to my darkness..
The shine to my dullness..
The sanity to my dumbness..
The feeling to my numbness..
The cure to my illness..
The strength to my weakness..
The comfort to my awkwardness..
The companion to my loneliness..
Why did you slip away?
Why did we get this way?
Why did you let go so soon?
My moon. My blue moon...

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LETTRS CHALK
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February 18, 2018
 

I've lost you somewhere,
Where are you?

I'm looking out for you everywhere,
Where are you?

Lost myself searching for you,
Where am I?

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GREY AND WHITE
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February 2, 2018
 

We've been fooled into believing that time may heal all our wounds.

it merely softens the pain and blurs memories..

Some Things cannot be reversed.
Some things so painful,only keep us submerged.

There are times in life when we realise that things have screwed up, worsened beyond repair..
There is only despair..
That's when to be a better person, we prepare.

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POETRY BOOKS
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January 31, 2018
 

Who am I?

Trying to look at my self through other people's eyes and I wonder how, I wonder wow..I am a totally different person to different people..

Annoying to one, tolerable to another.
Boring to one, entertaining to another.
Naive for some, talented for the others.
Quite to a few, articulate to fewer.

Unknown to many, but what for me?

Who am I, to myself?

POETRY BOOKS
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January 19, 2018
 

So yeah,

All of us aren't happy.
I guess none of us are.
There is this angst, wrath, dissatisfaction, void, a sense of dissociation stuck inside or brewing in all of us.
But all of this, for what?
I'm trying to find the answers to these questions which lie within me, unexplored.
Each of us probably have their reasons for heartache. Why unhappy?
What's yours?

ORIGINAL
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December 26, 2017
 

And this is another sad write up
And I can't deny that I've been needing one.


I'm a bit rusty now, writing after ages.
I hate what I write, all I have are crumpled pages.
All the things that I want to express,
About all the things I've done, my current progress.
I've written it all, but will the always remain as draft?
Will the narrators to my feelings always remain unstaffed?


All I wanted was to be your high,
All I got was a shattered dream and a bitter goodbye.
Everything I said went unheard,
You saw our downfall with eyes straight blurred.
Yeah, falling was easy we knew it,
Getting up after so difficult, I didn't.
Had seen the best of your worst side,
Had seen how qu...

ORIGINAL
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June 18, 2017
 

The Sunday Saying..

Do you know what keeps you going irrespective of your ups and downs? Faith.
Faith is almost blind, self-driven, whether towards the almighty or towards your aims or even towards other persons.
It is faith on ourselves that becomes our guiding light through all our sorrows.
Thus we must always latch on to our faith, deepen it, make it motivate us, push us towards giving an extra bit.
But off late people have started giving up faith. Situations make them weak and thus their beliefs too.
Have to make a 'Netflix' reference for the same..
My favorite fictional character once said something spot on relating to faith. He quoted,
''After all, what is faith if it doesn't en...

I SEE..
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June 16, 2017
 

Midnight thoughts..

Why is falling in love so easy but not falling out of it?
Why do people enter in your lives so quick, but their memories take eternity to leave?
Latching on to something is so easy. Then why is letting go of the same is the hardest part?
Why are good memories not reviewed more, why do the gloomy ones always claim supremacy on our mind.

Why have our short and simple lives become so complicated and our purpose so brittle?

WHY?

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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
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January 25, 2017
 

Wednesday Wisdom.

Random Mid-week thoughts..

Today makes Tomorrow...

What we do today, affects how different things would be for us tomorrow. The solution for most of the problems we may face tomorrow lies in today.

Always try to create provisions for tomorrow. Ofcourse they require an extra effort, an additional push... But guess what it will be worth it.

Your future self would thank the present you.

What do you prefer seeing yijr6 future self doing?
Being proud of your present past or curse it for not being prepared?

An extra push is all it needs. I am ready to be proactive, are you guys too?

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TRUMP, 45TH PRESIDENT
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December 19, 2016
 

With you I started my day,
We felt our life is colourful, ever so gay.
The days they were jolly, brightened by your light,
I wished the days were longer and it shall never be night.
Togetherness overwhelmed me, felt I that the everything was under my command.. Even the role of a dice.
So happy we were, self sufficient. How could there ever be trouble in paradise?
With everything so perfect, what could go wrong?
How could we let situations ruin our love song..

I've loved you more than anything, more than words can say.
So what if I didn't say it that frequent, my feelings would always stay.
My love for you was blind.
But the only thing I regret is, I failed in making you see it.
Fri...

ROGUE ONE - STAR WARS
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November 28, 2016
 

When a relationship ends, it doesn't mean that the people stop loving each other anymore...
They just stop hurting each other.
Love, such a beautiful feeling. But the irony, it hurts more than anything else.

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ORIGINAL
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November 28, 2016
 

                    Monday Motivation

Here comes another Monday.. Another gloomy Monday.. Most of us are facing the 'Monday Blues'
I don't know what's up with my bed on Mondays..
Made of steel I am.. And the bed my magnet. Our struggle of getting out of the bed is quite a spectacle..
Apparently mostt of us don't like Mondays.. Even I don't.. I hate mondays. I mean who would want to go to after an awesome weekend?
But hey guys.. Doesn't the Monday set the tone for the rest of the week?
What if we start liking a Monday? What if I say to you.. That keep your chin up and carry on with your work with a smile.. Difficult,won't it be?
Mondays can be our most productive day you know... And the...

BORRÓN Y CUENTA NUEVA
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November 27, 2016
 

The heart has so much to say.
It's the lack of words, that causes delay.
How do I say it, there's nothing in my diction..
But the way you make me feel.. Its stranger than fiction.
No phrase can describe your beauty I think,
When we were together, everything was so perfect, in a sync.
Seeing you with the other guy is okay, Well that's how I pretend.
The heartache, it's killin me. Pain has no end.

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ORIGINAL
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November 27, 2016
 

Hey, think of this as a diary. A diary that you've just randomly found(just like in the movies).
Well, this is not the first time that I have been writing. But this is definitely the first time that I will be writing anonymously.
So before you read any further, aren't you supposed to know tiny bits about me? Although anonymous, but I'd drop subtle hints about myself.
I've had people asking me, "Tell me something about yourself". Honestly me describing about myself in a few words in such a short span ain't really possible. Knowing oneself since 20 years, one thing observed by me is that everyday has been a new self discovery about myself. There is just sooo much to say(you can make out by t...

BORRÓN Y CUENTA NUEVA
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