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Alicia Ortiz

PO# 493462
United States
United States
you have to let go of the bad, live in the happy and love like you have never felt pain.. then life will be worth living. 💕
May 21, 2019
 

There was nothing left to take. Nothing left to give. He closed his eyes, folded his hands and started talking to the two that sat before him.

"Now, before Miss Abrams passed away, she and I had many lengthy conversations on the way her estate was to be handled and Jessica wanted," Jason was speaking when he was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the office door.

On the other side of the door stood a couple, a beautiful couple dressed in black and the sadness could be felt by anyone that looked at them.

"Oh," a bit nervous Jason let them pass him and enter the room, "We were suppose to meet later to discuss your part of the will."

"Yes Jason, we know but why wait? She is gone and no on...

WHITE CLOCK
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May 21, 2019
San Elizario, United States

Writing: Last Time.

I remember it like yesterday, how my smile played across my lips so easily in response to something I read. Oh how deliriously happy we use to be just sitting together talking or watching tv. And then the tears ran freely the last time we were in the same room, and looking back that fight was over something so small. Why would it matter who said what about you and me? Why did we let that tear us apart.  My heart broke when you walked away from us, you were my person and now I am lost without you. Last night I talked to my parents and the love comes through but their words of comfort fall on deaf ears. Yet I thanked them for all their love and advice; I promised to be stro...

WHITE CLOCK
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May 20, 2019
San Elizario, United States

     Why is an "I'm sorry" or "perdóname” always a response when the action is still done.
     It flows so easily out of your mouth, those negative words or those hateful thoughts but then its “I'm sorry baby” or “soy tonto perdóname” and poof all is better in your eyes.
     Yet the scars are still there. The thoughts of not being enough still ring in the mind. The tears have dried yet I have died a little more inside.
     But your go to "I'm sorry" is suppose to suffice? I'm suppose to forget and forgive? If roles were reversed and I acted like a fool, would my sorry suffice too?
     If everytime you spoke about your feelings or if I always chose you last, would my "perdóname” really l...

WHITE CLOCK
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May 20, 2019
San Elizario, United States

And she wept for the girl that was lost and confused. The tears flowed freely and there was no stopping them. Droplets came one by one down her pale checks and she flung herself unto the bed that use to bring her peace and comfort.
The tears continued for the girl that did everything right. For the girl that never broke a rule or law. She wept and she cried out in pain. Why? She obeyed every law, she had never lied and she tried to always be good.
She wept as her heart broke. With each tear a part of her old self broke off and shattered on the floor.
Two years! Almost three years she would be locked away. Made to suffer the consequences to something she had no knowledge of.
She wept and sh...

WHITE CLOCK
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May 19, 2019
San Elizario, United States

Sometimes I just want to give up. Why try when all that seems to answer is pain, lies and mistreatment.

Heartbroken
A

WHITE CLOCK
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April 7, 2019
San Elizario, United States

Dear Self

I am a mess. I am nowhere near perfect nor will I ever be near perfect. And I have to remember that it's ok.

I make such horrible mistakes. I trust way to easy. I trust the wrong people that has led me to a situation that God will bring me out of.

I have faltered in my pursuit of being a mother like those perfect moms we have all seen in every school. Those with perfect hair and make up.. Always in the events, always collected. Yeah my hair can't even be collected. My house is messy, kitchen seems to always have something cooking or being cleaned. My children have been disappointed with my answers to their wants, I feel more like I failed them then helped shape them to people th...

ORIGINAL
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February 27, 2019
San Elizario, United States

I use to want to fall in love forever, but now I really wish to never have known love in the first place. Never know the butterflies, or turmoil. I make numerous wishes to forget the chills of his loves touch and never forget the pain of his sharp tongue. I wish I could let go of his smile and bright eyes, and only remember the heart ache he causes. I wish I would have walked away that day with the what if and not this long drawn out obsession for him and his love. I wish I could tell him ITS OVER, instead of whispering I forgive you again. I wish his I promise I'll change would really come true, at the exact moment of me letting him fully go. I wish I could one day where I wake up and just h...

MAKE YOUR MARK
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January 17, 2019
San Elizario, United States

She couldn't help but notice him, eyes closed and his smile so bright. Jessi wondered what the older man was thinking about.
He sat all alone in the park and Jessi didn't mean to stare but he must have felt her eyes because he opened his and looked at her.
Embarrassed Jessi apologized and the gentleman waved her over. She went and sat on the bench.
He was in his early eighties, if she had to guess. His hair was grey with specks of black, when he smiled the lines next to his mouth were more defined and his charcoal  colored eyes seemed to know a beautiful secret. He had this comfort to him and next to him Jessi felt at ease.
"You wanna know what I see and why I smile when I'm sitting all alo...

LIGHT LETTRS LOGO
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January 17, 2019
San Elizario, United States

And I want to run, far away and never look back. I need to find a solace place and forget everything that tears at my soul. But in reality I know I can't.

And I know what I need to let go of the most is the love that this heart holds for him still. Five years of giving all to a man that was never satisfied, a man constantly needing a fix of his addiction.

His addiction broke my heart time and time again, and every time it came to light, he swore it would be the last. Every time it was the same thing
"It's just texting with a friend, I only erased it because I thought you would get mad."

And I have never been given the chance to show that I wouldn't get mad at him for having friends becau...

ORIGINAL
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January 14, 2019
San Elizario, United States

13WS

He stood there holding the one person that never stopped loving him completely.

BE BOLD!
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January 10, 2019
San Elizario, United States

Heart broken
Tears falling
Eyes swollen
Lies spoken

Love faltered
Mind wanders
Heart broken
Tears falling

Changed forever
Lost love
Self conscious

Heart broken
Tears falling
No trust
Love lost

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
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October 12, 2018
El Paso, United States

Walking in to the fast food place.. I didn't think anything different.. Maybe right place for the right reason.. Its been raining nonstop and in walks this man.. You can see that he had been walking around in the rain.. Maybe unknown but certainly looking like he needed help..
As a society.. We have now become more about looks and money and less about helping each other.. And it breaks my heart.
Everyone throwing awkward glances his way but no one trying to help.
But when they take him the meal that was bought.. His shock and happiness a simple meal could bring.

A

ORIGINAL
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September 21, 2018
San Elizario, United States

     
   The trains were coming in and out of the station, but she stood there, motionless. That was until she heard a voice, a voice that always gave her chills. She stood still willing the voice to move further and further away from her. Yet, that voice was coming from behind her, not directly behind her but behind her so she couldn't turn to look at the person without being noticed.
   Her heart race, palms were sweating and she could feel her anxiety level shooting through the roof. Ari closed her eyes and slowly breathed in and out. She has to gain control again. She had to not give that voice power to bring her back to that dark place.
"Hey babe? What's wrong?", her cousin asked her.
...

BE KIND
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September 11, 2018
 

Me perdí, para encontrar te a ti.
Me deje, de amarme yo misma,
  Para darte un amor inmenso.

Me perdí, por querer darte todo.
Deje de ser yo misma,
  Por pensar que ya fuimos un “nos”.

Me perdí, poco a poco en ti.
Deje, que fueras todo para mi,
  Por no perder te a ti.

Me perdí, en un amor que dolía.
Y deje, que dijeras, que cambiarias
  Cuando sabía que tu orgullo era primero.

Me perdí, en la ilusión, de que nacisteis para mi.
Y deje, que me dieras solo momentos limitados,
  Por no perder te a ti, cuando no fuiste mío.

Y pierdo, poco a poco el miedo, de no sentir.
Y deje que mi corazón le hiciera caso a mi cabeza,
  Por ya no sentí el dolor de siempre.

Y ni cuenta, tú poco a poco...

BE KIND
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September 11, 2018
 

Sometimes I wonder if everything I go through its worth it. I wonder if the pain, the sadness, the loneliness is really worth those moments of happiness. If losing myself to find an "us" is truly meant to be.

I wonder if holding on to that list I prayed on for the ideal partner, made me or makes me hold on to someone that thoughtless actions cause a part of my soul to break.

I use to be that one that believed in forever after, even after I had already knew what pain was. In loving someone so much that the gold did out weigh the bad. I believed in giving one hundred for the one I love not this fifty-fifty mess. I grew up with examples of that forever love. Meeting young, falling in love and...

THE BEST IS YET TO COME
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August 26, 2018
San Elizario, United States

Part of a story

There are moments in your life were you escape to memories. Moments in your past that have some significance. You live in those moments. You relive those memories because life seems to have gotten so far away from your own plans. Psychologist believe its the minds way of coping with the present.
        Aryanna laid next to Anthony and watched  him sleep. They only had hours left before she would have to take him to the base. Hours left before she had to say goodbye to her best friend.
      She ran her fingers through his hair and smiled as he smiled in his sleep. Closing her eyes she traced his face with her fingers, memorizing every inch. From the curve of his nose, or t...

BE KIND
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August 13, 2018
San Elizario, United States

Cansada de nunca se lo bastante.. cansada d nunca ser lo k necesita.
Cansada d no ser lo suficiente
Y
Cansada d no ser importante

LOVE IS ALL WE NEED
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June 29, 2018
 

Tears blurred her vision and a lump in her throat kept her from speaking up. Fear numbed any movement, and there she was. All alone. Left in shock and feeling like she had no one left in the world.

Her mother came up and hugged her and willed her to move, but Jessica couldn't leave. Her whole world stopped the day the accident happened and she no longer wanted to live.

Why had she not gone with them to the store? Why was making lunch more important then singing along with the radio that day? WHY?! Why had God felt the need to take them.

She slid down out of her mother's grip and looked across to the three freshly dug holes. There laid her husband, and her twin five year old boys, her lif...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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June 27, 2018
 

Sometimes I get tempted,
To reach out to that person.
Sometimes I get tempted,
To send that first message.

Other times my mind knows,
Its better to not give in.
Other times my mind knows,
That things would go bad.

Sometimes I want to give in,
To do the things that were done.
Sometimes I want to give in,
Reach out and write him.

That little voice inside screams!
And again I let it win.
That little voice that screams!
Makes me choose to behave.

Sometimes I get tempted,
Sometimes I want to give in,
Other times my mind knows,
That little voice screams to win.

AO

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SAY HELLO TO SUMMER
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June 20, 2018
 

Y lo más triste d todo es,
que no importa lo tanto que trato de ser la mujer para ti.
nunca lo soy.
siempre buscas más.
más delgada.
más bonita.
más.
nunca seré la mujer para ti

STARS CAN'T SHINE WITHOUT DARKNESS
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May 17, 2018
 

I wonder if your thoughts
Ever hold me close.
I imagine some place in time
Where you are near.

I close my eyes while dreaming,
Of fingers dancing on my skin.
I feel the sweet and smooth,
Kisses on my lips.

I wonder do you feel me too?
Do you close your eyes,
And feel my arms pull,
And my hands through your hair?

I wonder do you ever have,
An unfamiliar yet sweet smell?
Do lingering thoughts of me,
Dance in your head.

Do you wonder as I do?
Do you ever wish we were near?
Close enough to see what if,
Close enough to temp fate.

Do you?
I do...

STARS CAN'T SHINE WITHOUT DARKNESS
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April 11, 2018
San Elizario, United States

What hurts?

That we lost one of the strongest willed.. Most loving gentle souls this world ever had.

That on the 16th of March a part of my heart slipped away from this earth and the world didn't stop.

What hurts is that to this day... I won't cry with anyone but in the silence of my room in the blackness.. I let the tears fall and my heart breaks.

Why? Because I know it was her time but I wanted more time. I wanted my smiles and more laughs. I wanted my kids to know her without her being sick.

I wanted God to give me back my grandma that had formed and shaped all of these strong willed women of the family. I wanted the dancing while cooking with her. I wanted my daughter and sons to s...

STARS CAN'T SHINE WITHOUT DARKNESS
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December 20, 2017
 

Laying in bed with the dripping of last nights rain echoing off the walls. I can’t help but think of so many things.

The what if’s haunt me and the why nots call for me. The happy memories come back but bring along their friend misery and their gifts of days passed.

Thoughts drift back and forth.. Leaving me with more questions than answers. Longing for simple days and wished to change the past that can't be redone.

I lay here.. Alone again because yet again he is over with his brothers.. As if being here is too much to ask for. As if giving too much of himself to me is just toooo much.

I try to hang on to a simple truthful love. A love I more exists because I saw that love. I saw it ever...

BITE YOUR LIP
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April 11, 2018
San Elizario, United States

Once upon a time you were the reason for her smile,
Not the untold stories of the years that stain her pale cheeks.

One day not to far in the past you were the one she wanted to spill he secrets to,
Now you are the reason to hide.

A few memories ago, she wanted nothing more than your love,
Now your absence isn't felt when you leave her alone.

Too many years have gone and the fight she use to have wanes,
Yet you are blond to the love you are losing.

Once upon a time your half empty promises and lies
Were things she believed
Now she wants nothing empty.

Once upon a time you had untold amounts of her love,
Nor she hides her emotions because you really don't care.

LOVE, HER
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April 11, 2018
San Elizario, United States

Slowly she lets go,
And life begins again,
Yet he doesn't know.

Her tears slowly stop
And her life is hers again
Still he hasn't realized.

Her smile comes easier,
And its just as bright as before
But he has no clue.

She starts to live for her,
And no longer for the two
Still he seems to be clueless.

She dances and laughs
Her steps are lighter,
And soon he will lose her.

She no longer fights for them
Instead she fights for her
And he is losing true love.

Yet she is slowly letting go
Meeting the pain with release
And that will haunt him now.

LOVE, HER
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April 6, 2018
 

And in the light of day,
Like always,
She visited last night's mistakes.

Slowly the years feel lost,
Like always,
She ignores the screams within.

Moment and memories flash back,
Like always
She pushes aside those that hurt.

Trying to find a reason to stay
Like always,
Making excuses for their actions.

And in the light of day,
Like always
She sits silently with tears falling.

LOVE, HER
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March 26, 2018
 

Te Amare

Te amare
Con cada latido de mi corazón.
Te amare
En los momentos felices.
Te amare
En momentos cuando estoy sola.
Te amare
Cuando estamos juntos y ni un palabra dijimos.
Te amare
Con mi alma.
Pero más importante
Te amare
  Cuando no me siento seguro en los dos.
Te amare
Cuando estamos enojados.
Te amare
En los momentos no tan fáciles.
Te amare
Cuando tú te vas y no se donde quedamos.
Te amare
Hasta cuando estamos enojados.
Te amare
En tus momentos oscuros.

Te amare hasta lo más profundo días que compartimos juntos.

LOVE, HER
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December 30, 2017
San Elizario, United States

And she finally broke..she let every action and every harsh word finally weigh her down and break not only her heart but her spirit..now she felt like everyone wanted...useless and unlovable

CHRISTMAS ICON
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December 18, 2017
San Elizario, United States

Y lo único que ella quería era sentir tus brazos, tu boca, tu cuerpo. Sentir el abrazo y tu labios que no soportarán ya estar sin sentir sus labios. Solo quería que tus manos acariciaba su piel. Sentir tus dedos recorriendo su piel desnuda. Ella solo necesitaba sentir que quieres buscar y tocar cada parte de ella.

Y lo triste realidad es que se quedó con esas ganas. De ser amada completamente por ti. De ser la razón por tu sonrisa y que fueras tú su razón de buscar luz en la oscuridad. Se quedó con las ganas de susurrar al oído en momento de intimidad.

Y completamente no entiendo y nunca vas saber lo tanto que lloro en llanto, cuanto le pedía a Dios por tu amor pero más por tu felicidad a...

CHRISTMAS ICON
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