It’s strange how things work out.
When you feel like you absolutely need someone in your life. And you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it if they aren’t there.
It’s a stinging pain that only lasts for a short period of time.
When you stop hurting and realize wow, “why was I in need of them?”
You get time to reflect on the pain itself this person might had caused you. You also learn more about this person through heartbreak than you thought.
You get this clear picture that’s makes you so happy they weren’t apart of your story. Or you might get another picture...A picture of mature acceptance. Acceptance to the fact that they weren’t meant to be in your life but on...
I’m sorry it’s been a while. Last month was a little crazy.
I ended up not continuing anything with that one guy (Seth,well call him). And the guy before him had nothing to do with it. I just don’t think I truly liked Seth more than a friend. I’m still not ready to talk about the other guy, we’ll call him Bryan.
Bryan and I continue to have a weird relationship. But until someone points it out I really don’t think much of our interactions. I don’t even know what that could mean...
Anyway. The holdup just came out with a new album and it’s actually really good. Currently listening to it as I’m slowly falling asleep lol
I promise I’ll tell you the Bryan story soon. I need...
You know how you listen to a song you really like..but never think anything of the lyrics because they just don’t apply to your life yet. Well...there’s this song that I’ve always loved.
I met this boy. We’ve known of each other but never hung out or talked. We finally did last night. I honestly don’t know how I feel about him yet. He told me he thinks he really likes me. I can’t really say for sure I feel the same....I like him but something is holding me back.
Any way....this song, I can’t help but think of him when I hear it. Like he’s dedicating it to me. I can sense how strong his feelings are. Why am I holding back? I didn’t tell you about my previous interest...bu...
I can’t believe this year is almost over!
I’m surrounding myself with just a handful of good people to end the year happy and loved.
I’m going to make the best of the rest of this year.
A friend sent me a letter yesterday with some very good advice. So ♾, thank you 🙏
What an odd time to write a letter. I must be feeling very lonely...
Well to finish off my previous story 😕
It ended faster than I thought it would have. He wanted to stay in Milwaukee and besides that...in person we just didn’t click anymore. I guess the story of us in between is irrelevant now.
We remain friends and we’re both content with our current lives. Well, I can only speak for me. I did see he has a girlfriend now and I’m so happy for him! Honestly I am.
Chapter Milwaukee has ended but ended happily.
Now back to me being lonely. See, I’ve been rejected in the most hurtful way. I don’t really know how to handle it.
I told someone I liked them, a friend. And...
I know you’ve probably been curious about Milwaukee. So here’s how it started...
It all happened on this dating app...i was so against joining one but after everything with V, I was just so lonely I told myself I needed to.
I saw his pictures and was definitely attracted to him. He had a goofy vibe going on which made him seem more personable. When I read his profile though...it said “ca -> wi” so I was very hesitant. At this point in my dating app ventures I was kinda like whatever, he probably won’t even match with me. Oh, but he did match with me. I started a conversation with him right away and found out he use to live in my area but moved back to Wisconsin. He told m...
Happy New Year lol
I know it’s March and we’re waaayy past a happy new year. I just didn’t get to tell you, I’m sorry it’s been a while. I didn’t even get a chance to read the previous letters to see where my head was at. I mean I’m almost positive they were all about Vegeta and I...so let’s just catch you up on what’s happened.
Vegeta and I decided it was better to stop talking to each other. Boy, was that difficult. We talked here and there but for the most part we kept our distance.
It wasn’t long after that I decided to try online dating😬 I know what you’re thinking, it’s way too soon. To be honest maybe it was...but if it wasn’t for this app I wouldn’t have met him. E...
I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you...
I feel you disappearing.
It’s kinda painful but also a relief to not have to wonder.
Letting go is so hard...maybe I’ll just let go of one hand instead of both.
Tonight I told you I had a dream about you. You immediately said you had one of me last night and forgot to tell me about it. You said it was a sex dream and you wished it was real. It was at your office in the bathroom...you then apologized because it was a sex dream.
I told you that mine was about you and Drea and you laughed.
I told you that I understood the needs you might be having and that it was okay if you wanted to act on those feelings. I let you know I wouldn’t be hurt. Which was weird because tears came down as I wrote the text to you. You told me you hated the subject.
I told you I did too but I felt like I needed to let you know that you wouldn’t be doing anythin...
My heart is so broken. I feel it breaking piece by piece. I feel it traveling through my throat, stomach and arms. That sharp pain every time I think of a moment I wish we could have shared. Or thinking of a beautiful memory we had. Love has made me sick. Love has made me crazy. Love has changed me.
I wish this pain would go away...
Dear you know who,
You'll never get it.
That's the saddest part.
Your little princess has outgrown you and your manipulative ways.
I've slowly learned to never wait for an apology. Even if you did,I've never seen someone spill such a cold heated lie out their mouth.
I'm done letting you hurt me.
My heart is so big it lets you back in after all the pain, only to allow you to break it once more.
I'm not allowing it anymore for myself. It's unhealthy. Unfair. Immature and Ugly.
I can't wait for the day to be free of these feelings. It will truly be the greatest day of my life.
Don't let it surprise you, although I'm sure it will.
You just wait until I've been healed from the mess yo...
The hard part always seems to last forever. Sometimes I forget that we aren't together.
Deep down in my heart, I hope you're doing alright.
But from time to time I often think of why you aren't mine.
But I'll keep your number saved cause I hope one day you'll get the sense to call me...
I'm hoping that you'll say you're missing me the way I'm missing you.
So I'll keep your number saved cause I hope one day I'll get the pride to call you...to tell you that no one else is gonna hold you down the way that I do.
It's been a while.
I want to thank you for giving me the smile I needed.
Please don't go away just yet...I slowly feel Lonely creeping in. I'm not ready for lonely.
Stay with me just a little longer.
Why is it that you cause my mind to wander at night? Why is it that you want to ask all the important questions when no one is able to respond?
You enjoy making me overthink all the unnecessary topics in my head...
It's funny how I know the reason for it, yet I allow it to happen almost every night.
The mind is a powerful thing. A beautiful thing. A dangerous thing. A manipulative thing. A torturous thing.
There will never be a final winner in this continuous game. You win some, you lose some.
Try drinking tea, Restless. You win this time.
A lot has been going on these past few months. Here's the big one...I ended my 5 1/2 year relationship. I moved back in with my parents. I'm back working at the same place I started working when I was 18. I enrolled in beauty school which seems to be the only thing that's making me happy at the moment. Although I haven't started yet but patiently waiting.
Moving back and trying to rekindle my friendships from when I use to live here 4 1/2 years ago....
Not as easy.
I'm back to feeling lonely. And wondering if I made a big mistake. It feels right, but at the same time feels like I'm missing something.
I think about him all the time and wish we could fast forward to our ...
Dear true pen pal,
I just need you to listen to me for a little while. You know, so I can get an outside opinion on a few things. I know you're out there. We need to have a chat.
So I've gone through this a couple of times already. Where I think about where I'm at in life and if I'm truly happy.
Do I like my job? Why am I even working here? Is it too late to pursue my true passions? How do I find time to even pursue any of them?
Today as I was talking to a friend about this she said, "Aly, stop making excuses and just do it! What's holding you back? Nothing! So I don't want to hear it."
It was the first time I had to step back and tell myself to stop feeling helpless. I need to start taking some action for my life.
So I made a plan and I'm hoping i stick to it.
No more excuses.
CURRENT MOOD: Kate Nash - Foundations
It's so hard to think of myself before others. I'm always putting other people's feelings before my own and its never what I want. (Obviously)
I forget to ask myself if it's ever worth how it makes me feel. The majority of the time...it isn't.
This might not be the new year but it is a new beginning. A new start to be true to MY feelings and what I want, no one else.
Sleep tight friends.
CURRENT MOOD - Feel it all around by Washed Out
I just don't understand why it's always such a struggle picking a place to eat...! Tonight's events could have been avoided. All the angry faces and huffing and puffing. But maybe I was in the wrong here. I don't think I was but...
Please go away!
I can't handle you right now.
My mom says, "fear is full of shit." I believe she is most definitely correct.
You don't control me!
You never will.
Goodbye Fear... you will no longer trap me from true happiness.
Dear no voice,
When are you going to learn? Are you slowly waiting for your voice to go silent?
Why don't you ever speak up?
No voice please give me the courage. Allow me to say exactly how I feel when I want to. Why have I allowed these people to take you away from me?
One day I know I'll get you back. Until then, just keep the tiny voice you do have on the inside. Never let it go.
One day you will show them all who you really are.
Trying to make a relationship work is a lot of...work.
Sometimes I feel like we just bump heads way too much, over the simplest things. Us both being stubborn doesn't help either aha. I love this person so much but still, I wonder if I'm working too hard for us. I'm sure God already has this planned our for me.
I'd like to welcome myself back to Lettrs. I've deleted all my old posts to give myself a fresh start.
It's been about 6 months since I've removed the app and I've seen some great change so far! I'm so happy I have reopened Lettrs back into my life and so excited to meet some amazing new people!