La vie est belle💋
|23 👑| Single Mother 👩👦👦 | My sons are my world 🌎 | Loving my Life 🤪||
I can’t sleep tonight.
I’m not sure if it’s because I know I did the right thing or if it’s because for the first time ever, I wish I was wrong.
So much has happened, but nothing has changed.
So much has been said and promised, but no actions have been taken.
What should I believe? What should I do?
I believed what I saw, but sometimes my eyes deceive me.
I did what I promised myself I would do, take a step back and watch for a bit, to see if any actions were being taken.
I honestly couldn’t tell you if there has been or not. I haven’t seen any though.
I guess this gives me a chance to work on myself.
I’ve realized that I’ve been a person I don’t quite like.
I have become ...
Tonight is the first night in almost 2 weeks that I’m able to sleep in my bed for longer than 1-2 hours.
I’ve worked so much lately I can’t even remember when the last time I’ve actually gotten to just crawl into bed and fall asleep to a movie with my boys.
It’s hard I have to admit to be away from them, but soon it will all be worth it.
I’m have almost saved 3/4th of the amount I want before moving and I’ve already started to buy things for the new place.
Many people want to see me and my boys fail for their own pleasure or gain, but I’m a proud LeConte and if you know anything about a sassy Sicilian I would watch out.
Brother bear 2, Carmel and kettle corn, and chocolate milk to...
I read this poem this morning by Reagan Myers called “Depression is funny like that”.
The part that stuck with me was “If I get out (meaning her bathtub), I have to be a person again. Have to put on clothes, put lotion on my legs, eat a bowl of cereal at least, take care of this terrible body that refuses to take care of me back.”
I used to feel this way everyday, like I had no control over who I was and how I felt.
I wanted to be happy, enjoy life live on the edge but I couldn’t, I physically couldn’t. Getting out of bed was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Staying awake long enough to eat and shower was an achievement.
Today, I’m the complete opposite. I can’t tell you how I got h...
I’ve been alone most of my life.
I’ve had 2 serious boyfriends and one well just boyfriend.
I’ve learned to sleep alone at night
I’ve learned to wipe my own tears.
I’ve learned to trust no one.
I’ve learned to stay strong.
I’m at a fork road in my life right now.
One road is telling me to move out of state and jump back into my old ways. Graduate and buy a coffee shop with my boyfriend.
Another is telling me to journey down a unfamiliar path that may lead to what my purpose in life is suppose to be.
And finally the third path is telling me to keep distance, wait for actions to prove you wrong. Stick to the status quo. Don’t back down, fight! Get that business degree! Show everyb...
Today just got 10 times better.
I thought I was being smart at the beginning of the year when I recieved my taxes and decided to put the whole amount into a savings account to earn interest for two years so that when I got ready to buy a house I would have the money. However, I never thought about if I would need any extra cash throughout the year.
I never thought about if I would need any money to move, but like I said today just got 10 times better.
I was told that I wouldn't recieve the money that I was expecting until september from child support well that was a HUGE fib, because ya girl just got a check, and it was more than my case worker told me it would be for. WAY MORE! ...
I get it, love makes you do stupid things.
Sometimes you go above and beyond for a person who in return could care less about you.
Sometimes you hurt others just to protect the one you love.
Sometimes you go crazy wanting to know who so and so is talking to or what they are doing behind your back.
Sometimes you go to the stalking faze.
Sometimes you go the pretend faze.
I get it. I’ve been there.
But I’ve realized that the girl who you are stalking, thinks she’s just as special to him as you do.
She thinks that she is his world because that’s what he told her, just as he told you.
I’ve realized that the hate I was projecting into someone else was wrong of me because they were...
"The truth is like a lion. You dont have to defend it. Let is loose. It will defend itsef."
"Denying the truth doesnt change the facts"
A lot has been going on.
But I have learned that if I stay true to myself and be honest 100% then I wont be the one who can't sleep at night.
I wont be the one who can't keep my mind off the lies
I have learned that yes, sometimes the truth hurts but it also sets you free.
My letters are all true.
My letters are nonfiction.
I write about my day and the events going on in my life.
My words that I speak are true.
Sometimes needs a filter.
Looking back I still can’t believe I went 3 days in labor without knowing it.
I still can’t believe I had a count down that I checked every half hour to see how close I was to meeting my boy.
I still can’t believe that I drove myself, my oldest son, and my grandma to the hospital while having contractions and dilated to 6 cm.
I still can’t believe that I made it until 12:24 am before having my baby boy!
I still cant believe how perfect he is today!
I still can’t believe that today I’m am a mother too two toddlers!
Two early head start-ers.
Two best friends
Two amazing little boys!
I can’t wait to celebrate with my Ayden bug today.
But I also can’t wait to wake him up a li...
It’s been a bad day, to say the least.
But tomorrow I know will be thousand times better.
It’s party time!
My boys get to spend some quality time with their sister.
My youngest boy gets to blow out candles on his birthday cake!
I get to give my soon to be mother in law her Mother’s Day gifts
I’m going to forget everything that happened today and start tomorrow fresh!
I have a 9am appointment to pick up 2 fabulous cakes!
I get to pick up my lovely (so to be stepdaughter) at 11am
And party time at 1pm
Along with decorating the party and putting all of the awesome ideas and party favors I made together.
Tomorrow will be a blast!
What you do in the dark will always be reviled in the light.
What you try to hide will always be found.
What you try to keep locked up, will always break free.
I’m not one who likes secrets, if you know me I like to be told secrets daily, sometimes three-four times a day.
If you have something you don’t want me to know about just tell me it’s none of my business or that you would rather not share. Don’t lie about it.
Lying is the one thing that gets under my skin, after you lie to me I have a very hard time trusting your word.
My best friend Zak tells me all the time to never let my emotions get the best of me and make sure to always keep my crown shining bright.
Last night, was ...
If anyone has ever watched "Cinderella Man" you would understand why there are tears running down my face at the moment.
I have never in my life felt so into a movie like I did with this one.
This amazing boxer went through the hardest part of his life without knowing how he was going to feed his babies. He didn't let his pride take over, he was down and without but fought everyday to make a way for his family. He beged, barrowed, and prayed.
He taught me that everybody deserves a second chance. He taught me to never have to much pride.
The beginning of the movie he made $8,000.00 or more per fight. Then the great depression hit and along with that he broke his right hand in t...
Is it bad that I’ve been shopping for both my boyfriend and sons birthday for about a week now?
I’ve bought so much stuff!
For Ayden I got him a new paw patrol bike because he was doing so good on his tricycle!
I also got him a picture blanket so he could always have his family with him at all times.
And lastly I bought him a Batman tower!
For my boyfriend, I went and got him a colts jersey (something he’s been wanting for a while now).
I got him a few other little things that I don’t want to spoil but let’s just say 28 never looked so good on him! It’s going to be a good year!
I’ve been window shopping for the longest time and now the day is almost here! Saturday can’t come soon...
This weekend was a HUGE eye opener.
During our "Mini family vaction" I realized alot!
I realized that Ive been taken for granted and have been for a very long time.
I realized that my family without me is nothing. I literally am the glue that holds them together.
I realized that I replace my mom when she isnt here and thats honestly not alrgiht with me.
I realized that im ready to move forward.
So today, is the day!
I have made my mind up!
I have finally decided to take on the "apartment finding" goal!
We, yes me my boyfriend and my boys, have found the perfect little town.
Now, we just need to look for the perfect little apartment or house!
Of all things, gas cans is what today’s adventure was about.
Sounds silly and it probably gets you wondering “why did this girl spend her day looking for gas cans?”.
Well to answer that question I have to remind you of what time of year it is.... May, which means its party time. Birthday party time I mean, for my youngest boy and brother.
I’ve been searching all over the place for blue, yellow, and red gas cans to make into beverage dispensers.
The theme this year is Disney Cars 3 and I have this awesome idea of creating beverage dispensers out of the gas cans and for those who have seen the movies you will remember Fillmore, welp I plan on putting a sign on them that says “Fillmore...
The following is opinion based, please don’t get offended.
Yesterday, I stopped at the gas station and while I was scooping through the candy section looking for my kids favorite m&ms a woman walked up with her FAKE eyelashes hanging on her cheek and asked if I needed any help. I felt awful afterwards because when I went to respond my brain and mouth weren’t on the same page I said “no thank you, but just to let you know you should re-glue your eyelashes they are falling off”.
After feeling completely dumb, I went to the cashier to check out and found another girl who’s eyes leashes you could tell weren’t real.
In my opinion they look obnoxious and fake. I’ve never been one of those gi...
I look like a fool.
What am I doing?
For the last 5 years, I've sat back and watched this woman try and become me.
I've gotten told many times by many different people that I have a follower, a fan.
At first I thought it was cute! I mean, who would want to be me right?
But now, after 5 continuous years of this I've become annoyed.
I used to think well maybe it will ware off an she will become her own person.
It makes me laugh, but also very angry.
I can't do anything without her copying me, trying to be me.
I told my momma about it, because honestly my momma knows everything. She looked at me and laughed and said well "You are a Queen! You set an example. You make people want to become a better/ bigg...
I’m not going to stop writing because people don’t like to see it or read it.
I’m not going to drop to my knees because someone dislikes me.
I’m not going to back down just because someone asks.
I’m not going anywhere.
If you don’t like to see me shine, great don’t look.
If you don’t like what I write, fine don’t read it.
If I bug you that much, then just stay away from where I go.
Why would I change what I do, what I love, who I am for you? Your not important obviously.
It’s simple, grow up and swerve.
I don’t write to piss anyone off, or to bug anyone.
I write because I love to. It’s who I am.
I do what I love on a daily and I WONT change that for the world.
I am me...
So many doors are open.
All I have to do is take a step forward.
Walk through and allow life to change accordingly.
But when I get ready to move it feels like my feet are made of stone.
My mind gets clouded
I start to feel nauseous
So I stay, I don’t move.
The door closes and I wait for the next door to open and the opportunities it withholds.
But once again,
I get butterflies
Why am I stuck in this hallway?
Why am I torn on the next step in my life?
Why can’t I pick the right door?
Isn’t this what I’m supposed to do? Follow my dreams?
Why can’t I step forward? What’s holding me back?