|nothing much to say about me, unless you find out something worth writing here|
Words are the only thing i can hold on to, when everything turns blur, when everything gets coated in the color of sadness and pain. Words is the only place I come back, they provide me solace like no human can offer or anything in the world. I would never trade my words for love for any species on this planet because those words have been there for me when everyone left, when none cared, when I was alone, these words were my support, my reason to get up and fight back.
Momentarily pain will come millions of times and everytime I will unleash the storm of my words, so they speak what I failed to, so they reach where I can not even in a million years.
Someone rightly said 'there is no bigge...
Hate it when my mind & heart begs me to talk to him again knowing he doesn't care, wishing he would care even a little. It's been ages seeing him and my eyes really wish to see him again.
I can't will my fingers to type to him, to cause a heartbreak on top of the existing one from the same person.
Not because being with him was hurting me
Not being with him killed me
We can not keep people in our life against their wish. So let them flow. Keep the memories so someday in future they know, they still matter to you even after them calling it quits. Show them the power of love, not a vulnerability.
L I E S gives you the strength
the T R U T H can never deliver.
There's a thin line between people judging us and caring for us. But, we always mistake caring for judgment because they say things that are true and we want to run from the truth. Because we want someone who will coat us in lies and tell us that what we did was right in hope to overcome the guilt on our conscious. But then, we never realize that those who will coat us will be the ones who will stab us or rob us when we are weak because they don't care for us, they only want to use us. Anyways, it's not going to change things in their life because of that one person, that person ain't their sibling or relative or spouse, so why should they care?
Being slapped feels better than being told th...
People always tell me - 'Never expected this from you'
I don't understand why they expect things from me in the first place? Why can't they accept me as I am? Is that too much to ask for? Like I have my good things and I have my bad things, I can't help them. I am trying to control my emotions but I can't control them. Why you need to expect me to do as per your protocol or as per things are for you. I am a different individual altogether. It's appreciative if you can accept me as I am or it's better if you leave. It's gonna hurt, a desolation in my heart but it will save you many more expectations.
Someone said "I can't blow sunshine everytime"
I wanted to ask "why can't you if you really want to?"
But then I realised, he don't want to. Because if you really want to do something, you don't give excuses, you do it no matter what.
Guess I've been doing everything the wrong way.
But no one cared to show me the right way.
Perhaps, they were enjoying my stupidity.
The only major super power we need to save our world as a whole is humanity because without that we are nothing, merely few ants in different pockets of the world envious of each other, easily killed or manipulated to kill each other.
Another superpower we need is solitude which many of us don't get these days. We need it to fight our inner demons, to make peace with ourselves, to seperate lies from truth, to be free from manipulation, to think, to decide, to choose. Without it we would just be doing what we are told like a computer following the machine isntructions without any thinking of it's own.
Then we need conscious. It's the only thing which makes us feel everything in the world, e...
Someone told me to be cold, be strong and not care for others, not let other people influence my decisions so easily, to not be vulnerable to people.
I just don't know how, how to kill all my feelings and emotions, how to kill my want to not be alone, how to be happy with me, how to love me, how to not curse me for everything, how to not melt for people, how....
Sometimes I feel like asking people - should I delete your number or you will message me again?
But then I stop, waiting for their message which will never come.
He said "you had so much attitude when we first met, never knew we'd be this way"
Was it the loss of attitude which made him lose interest in me?
Why couldn't he see that I melted in him?
Today I told someone "erotica is weakness". And he replied "I never knew it was". So to explain I wrote this. And your view on this may be different but I'm fine with that. I just would like to share it.
"Well... Erotica is sex and foreplay and allure.
It makes you wish you had someone around, especially in case of single people. Also, if you are away from your love, it makes you wish they were close. That makes your emotions play in the back of your mind. Makes you imagine things for a specific person - your love, your crush, the girl you saw that day, your neighbour, etc. Then it makes you wish they felt the same for you in case they don't feel the same or they don't know what you feel. A...
I pity my future boyfriend, if I get any. It's just that he will have to put up with so many things.
He may be required to fix me up like a broken cupboard, fill it with his choice of wallpapers, his Colors and his belongings. That's a hard task though especially when he doesn't know how the cupboard actually wants to look like.
He will have to listen to me like a radio which tunes to any channel by itself, sometimes it's science, sometimes languages, sometimes autopsy, sometimes something completely different.
He will have to pamper me like a 3 year old. Requiring warmth anytime of the day and night and still innocent after being exposed to so many variations in life.
He will be requir...
There comes a time in life when you fear love, you fear someone loving you, you fear deserving love, you fear it all.
It stresses you when someone says they love you. Instead of bringing a smile on your face, it brings tears in your eyes and you wonder - 'why', 'why he feels that way for me, he shouldn't be feeling this way'. And you can see another Heartbreak because of you and you can do nothing to prevent it. You can just see it unfold like someone who is just a viewer and cry, cry as much as you can, for him, for you, for everyone.
Because there is nothing else you can do.
You feel broken, unmendable. You feel unlovable. Love itself becomes a stranger, something you don't recognise or...
Don't know why it happens. But a part of me feels like healing people, people who are sad, people who are hurt. My heart connects to them automatically, wanting to show them the bright side of life. But in the process I lose myself more and more. And now I'm at that stage where one step and I will fall into darkness forever with no one able to reach me or offer a helping hand. I'm trying so hard to save me. But the feel of helping them, it never goes away. Have lost all my strength to my emotions.
Many of times they don't even wana be helped. Feels like I'm spoon-feeding when they are not hungry. I just can't help it.
I know I should stop being so crazy. I'm still fighting my way out in ho...
Something feels weird, every time I play it in my mind. The pull is strong, no matter how many different people they are. The difference does nothing to reduce the lucrativeness. It fills and fills and fills me with emotions I thought I left behind. But times like now, everything comes back, like a fresh scar on me. It pains the same, the memories and the moments. And I feel choked with no option left in front of me. My eyes turn hazy in the presence of tear drops falling like they were omnipresent. My heart ripping apart as if breaking into a million of pieces thousand of times wasn't enough. My mind wants it all back, every single piece of it.
Time passes by me, but I'm stuck in the past....
I'm not sure what love is and I don't know how it feels to love someone or be loved. But yes, sometimes our heart just wants to be around someone, knowing they don't feel the same. The heart can do anything, almost anything to stay around them. Yes, it feels insane, I cannot deny that. But the heart just wants that person at that moment. Even if the mind interferes telling the heart anything for its own good, the heart considers it as a bullshit because the heart is blind for that person and can hear nothing against the person.
Is it love or just an attraction? Is it worth?
I don't know. But yes, I'm leaving it all to the destiny. There could be thousands of moments we could meet again if ...
If I believe what you say, it doesn't make me a fool, it just says that I trust you in a way I haven't trusted millions of people in this world. It makes you special in a way.
She looked like the most beautiful thing on the whole planet as she walked down the aise, embellished for him, to be bound to him for the rest of their life
"FUTURE TELLER. "
What would I do if I had the power to know the future? Would I want such a power?
If I see in the past my answer would be Yes, I want that power. It would be cool and will make me unique and feel special, different in a good way. But if I'm asked the same thing now, I don't have an answer. It's a big responsibility possessing that type of power. And yes it may look cool to others but inside you are filled with so many memories which are yet to happen. Every time you see a person on the street or touch them you go into a deep flashback of to-be memories about them. It can be pleasant or it could be awful. And many times I even won't be able to tell them what I saw because...
Many among us are dead. Dead from inside. With no wish to be alive, just roaming the streets without the will to reach the destination.
Purposeless! Do the routine mediocre things and sleep it off at the end of the day. Doing it again tomorrow and sleeping it off and the cycle continues afresh every morning but the route of the circle never changes because we lost the will, the desire to change the route. We are stuck there in the same thing. We don't even want to get out, experience the world outside. No we are not content or happy but we don't have a purpose in life to keep us moving ahead.
And yes we are dead. We can't love, we can't care for people. We don't want people around. We fuck...
Life fires many adventures our ways. And walking through that course in life, at times, we are vulnerable for a short while, for the specific time, for a specific person. It can be all of these or one but yes this time arrives at least once. We can not escape it because as someone said 'life is not a choice' but yes all I can say 'we can make choices in life'. Being vulnerable may never be a choice because it is something you feel but staying sane in that vulnerability and staying with head high is our choice and yes it is not easy to do that when all of our strings are being pulled and we feel like there is no way out but it's only us keeping our back towards the way out which makes it hard...
Your emotions can kill you.
Seems like an impossible sentence, perhaps something childish or something crazy and not worth a second thought but it's true.
We live most of our lives entangled in emotions. Happy, sad, angry, and millions of other emotions are all over our face and in our minds every single day. We can't escape them and we can't shun them. We can't stay without them.
We may curse those emotions many times for making us look vulnerable or ugly or weak but trust me we need them with us. Without those emotions we are nothing. And I'm not only speaking of positive emotions here but I'm saying about the ones which are negative too according to us. We won't feel love without hate,...
The moment your mind tells you 'He/She won't understand' while having an internal meeting with your heart and soul, you know deep within that the relationship is over, the communication halted in the real life and you won't speak about that topic to him/her because as per you that person won't understand so why to put efforts in saying something someone won't get and perhaps would just laugh at how crazy you are sounding. Does your heart really needs to be made fun of? Are your feelings so valueless that they won't be valued by other person? Is it wrong putting forth everything you are feeling even though your mind is far away from rationality?
You can't talk the same as before because yes...
Wish he would come around, staying so close to me. Wish he would just take a leap ahead towards me. Come through my door to me. His hands completly filled. Roses in one and lunch in another. Smiling all the way. The spark in his eyes speaking of his happiness to see my face again. And his smile tell me that he has a plan for both of us. Knowing me so well, he ended up here when he could have done many other things. But he choose to spend time with me. Getting me my favourite food. Eating it with me. Spending time with me. Just for me and him. And last but not the least, loving me with his eyes and smiles and words.
I wish it could all be true someday.
Sex is easy
Love is tough
It's still a wonder
How we ended up here
Giving our body to people
And protecting our soul
Is this what's left
Of the human race
Can we never love again
Like it's all we know
Where has love disappeared
Evaporated or burned