|Loving is a great gift given to us. So please take care and love with all your heart. One will always remember those who loved them immensely.|
My fingers are bare for they miss roaming in your soft beard like a hunter in the woods.
My lips are dry, for your mouth is a reservoir that I seek to drink from.
My arms are empty, for you are the slow caress that heals my spirit.
My eyes are blind, for you dear Nate are the sight I seek and the light that beams my hope and my dreams.
My body is hollow, without your entrance, without your swim I am an empty pool.
Kiss my eyes and fill my heart with life, for the air you breathe into me makes me superhuman.
Loving is a great gift given to us. So please take care and love with all your heart. One will always remember those who loved them immensely.
Rise with the Morning
Give praise for you are here.
Live the best life you know how.
Gentle, soft, kind and patient, be........
and all the world will remember you.
With the fall of the night you leave, take flight.
But deep within my heart we shall never be apart.
To know you is to savor you.
I couldn’t ask for more.
For in my lifetime it is you I shall always and forever adore.
I am not your Wife.
Nor am I your girlfriend.
But all the world knows
I am yours.
Oh this man I call Nate.
Maybe to him I am just a good roll in the sack. That’s ok, because when I’m with him it feels incredible.
It’s like the rush you feel when standing on the top of the snow covered hill with your sleigh in hand. You look down this great big hill and you feel the warm sun hitting your cheeks and the cold chill brushing your face.
You smile greatly and you lay the sleigh down and you’re off! Flying down that hill, heart racing, screams rush from deep within your belly and your head falls back and laughter grips you tightly.
It’s all worth the crash at the end.
Nate is my snow covered hill.
My crashing wave to the shore.
My damp skin in the pouring rain.
If you were here right now, I’d be searching for words to say and how to say them.
It’s funny, for when you are gone from my sight, words over words keep rolling off my tongue and my heart sings aloud in every tune imaginable.
When you are here in my arms, in my bed, I stutter and all my thoughts they hibernate. They crawl into an abyss and I’m truly lost for words.
Hello my love, my breath, my sight.
I’m waiting for the day the time the moment, you should arrive and be here again with me in my arms with my kisses smothering your words.
This waiting is killing me slowly.
I cannot begin to describe the torment and the loneliness felt inside.
You are missed.
My dearest N,
I hope you are well and safe and warm.
It has been only 2 weeks but as life passes, your presence is missed. The sadness is growing inside of me, it rises and fills me to feel nothing but empty.
Memories of you here where I place kisses everywhere your skin is visible to my hungry lips.
Memories are keeping the breath in my heart.
And memories electrify my soul keeping it from crashing.
Time, it seems to create this longing.
Sometimes time feels like forever, only when I’m wondering if I’ll ever see you again.
Time, it flies by like a blink. It rushes past so quickly and almost violently but only when you are in my arms and we haven’t much Time.
Then you are off and away. So I wait and I dream and Time is all I have.
Before the rise of the sun, I sit here looking up at this great big dark sky. The stars dance with my eyes as they bring with them the thoughts of you, you who wrapped my heart around your soul and keep me.
The sun will rise soon and its warmth will remind me of how it feels to be kissed by your mouth.
The beauty of this pain in my heart.
Maybe you can’t have your phone wherever you might be.
But who am I kidding? I’m thinking of you.
I’m praying you are safe and will be safe. I worry SO much about you. (I know you don’t want to hear that).
I can’t shut off how I feel
I don’t know if I’ll ever see you or hear from you again.
That’s the price of loving someone who cannot love me in return. That’s ok too.
I’m thinking of you always and please be careful. Know that you’re in my heart and on my mind......always.
May God keep you safe.
You were laying on my bed, you spoke to me softly with no emotion attached to the words you so carefully had chosen.
“I will be leaving for 4 months”
We made what I’d like to think, Love. But for you surely it was nothing more of a hot steamy session of delicious sex.
On your back in my bed. I sat beside you and brushed my fingers gently on your fingers. As they glide up and down in between your thumb and pointer, I look at you, your face, your lips, your beard.
Your eyes shut as if to hide them from me so I wouldn’t see how much you would NOT miss me.
Hours pass and you sleep soundly. Never should I see you look so peaceful, so vulnerable so kind.
Me: “How could you?”
Me: “Why would you make me fall in love with someone so unattainable? Why sacrifice my soul to only sustain sadness that we both feel. Heart and Soul?”
Heart: “I want what I want, and that my dear is how you shall live the rest of your life.”
Me: (standing with a blank stare)
You are magical.
Your eyes, they speak to me in this secret language that suits us all so well.
On my darkest days and my most loneliest nights, mental photographs of you numb it all away.
If I could melt into you.
If my lips would only remain pressed upon yours, life would surely be a sweet and decadent dance.
My dearest Nate,
Today is your birthday. Maybe we’ll see one another and maybe we won’t.
Regardless, I’m thinking of you and wishing you a magnificent day.
This love affair it lingers, you come and go almost like the seasons. Still I’m filled with elation’s every moment I am with you.
I love you, I miss you and I pray I’ll see you soon.
He opened her chest with the whisper of his words, with the touch of his lips pressed upon her breasts.
Just so he could look at her heart
Stare at it as it’s beating, beating for only him.
This he knows all so cleverly.
Exposed, naked, tortured by his fleeing, only to return if and when he should feel like it.
Sealing her chest only with his breath.
Inside I’m screaming!!!
Loud and unruly, my hands are up and stretched wide.
Screaming, “Take this pain please I beg you to take this loneliness away from my heart please!!!!!!!!”
I don’t want to die, but I don’t wish to live.
When we come across someone who’s eyes melt the pain away. Someone who’s smile takes you on a journey through your own heart where you find a great joy you never knew was there.
A person who you find yourself running to, reaching to and holding tight to because their energy soothes your wounded soul.
Slowly you look at them and you memorize every bit of detail of their face so when they are away you can close your eyes and almost touch them with your thoughts.
Yours hands can never seem to get enough of the feel of their skin. Your fingers roam their body as if it is a whole new world only for you to rediscover over and over.
This person, so brave and strong and beautifully create...
The very moment you realize it’s never going to get better.
Now you must decide how you will deal with this unruly pain that remains occupying your heart and finding its way into your soul.
You are aware now, this pain WILL consume all you are and eventually it will define you.
The cure? Being loved.
Something that will never be.
You can’t change that.
So you will die slowly but death will be a great honor compared to this horrific and tragic pain.
You’ve returned to me, so what if it’s only for stolen moments.
Your arrival has been much anticipated. I have dreamed about you and seeing you in the flesh for some time now.
Your lips STILL excite my soul! The kisses we exchange they have a language of their own and only we understand it.
Speak to me Nate, kiss my lips with that suburb mouth of yours.
My heart drowns in your warmth and my heart floats on your breath.
I’ve missed you dreadfully.
You haven’t called or written.
I realize now I do not matter, I never mattered.
Yesterday was my birthday....and with all the cheers and laughter, with all the calls and text messages, none were from you.
Oh how I waited and checked and waited some more.
You never needed me and oh how I sigh.....for I need(ed) you.
You haven’t written, you haven’t called.
And you never will.
To the wind I whisper, songs escape my breath. Lifting my arms to the night and the moon. He’s in my thoughts and I ask the wind to ring this to him.
These arms left empty and wide open awaiting your return.
The scent of your soul, the taste of your kiss are sadly missed.
Come back to me...return and feel how missed you are so dearly.
He’s leaving. Not a moment to soon or a moment too late. He is gone.
365 days he’ll be away and yet the world still will go on. I will learn to live without him though it will grieve my very being.
Ah yes, I can see his smile, that gloriously wonderful smile. It’s as almost like he is looking right through me and his smile takes to me the very air I need to breathe.
He’s surrounded by the warmth of the sun as it’s generated from his smile. It saves me. It soothes me. I heals me. Because of him, life lived by me feels easy.
He’s gone, and with him...my heart.
The world is so cold now, there’s complete nothingness where my heart once was found. The black frosted night consumes my ...
I'm never going to see you again am I?
The last time we were together will be the last time ever isn't it?
Sometimes if I close my eyes and see you here kissing my forehead, it almost feels as though you never left. It's as if you are really here at that moment.
It's going on a year I've had to be without you, yet in my heart it feels like you've only been gone a few hours or few days.
But reality is this.....almost a year and my arms have been empty.
Spider webs occupy my empty soul.
It was you who stole kisses from me that night.
Tall and handsome, an extraordinary sight.
Your lips so soft, had me melt away.
Now being without you kills my heart everyday.
To think of you makes my lips form a frown, for being without you leaves me feeling so down.
If you should come back these words I would say,
"I love you, I miss you, please tell me you'll stay"
It's been so long I haven't an idea where to begin.
How are you doing and feeling? What terrifying places have you been to?
How often do you smile or laugh?
I laugh often and it's a great way to hide the pain. No one suspects a thing.
The pain, my pain is never seeing you or hearing from you, not knowing if you are ok.
Nathan Paul Simpkims.....you will forever be the reason I live and die with a broken heart.
For Nate P S
I'm Through by Ingrid Michaelson
I'm dead inside.
There isn't anything brewing, there is no more heartbeat.
No sunshine or its warmth.
I am filled with cold and dark.
I am flooded with pain and sorrow.
Death has made a home within my body. She took my soul by the neck and squeezed all the light right out.
My heart? Death ate it like a sweet delicacy and pissed poison in place of my blood so it can run its course through my veins and destroy any hope that might have been lingering.
Death makes for a horrid roommate.