|Loving is a great gift given to us. So please take care and love with all your heart. One will always remember those who loved them immensely.|
You are my diary.
It’s been 1month and 11 days.
This is the longest I have gone without seeing him in the past 9 months.
I do not think we will be seeing each other again.
I feel it in my heart.
He is gone.
I wish it were as easy for me as it is for him. To just not care. He is capable of loving and caring. I’ve seen it you know.
When he talks about his mom or his best friend Cameron.
The way he plays and touches Bella.
But for some reason only God knows, he doesn’t care about me.
I’m having a really hard time letting him go.
Days go by and I still wish
him well and happiness.
If you should ever be so lucky to know me.
If I am in your life you know
I am silly, funny, and divinely weird.
These few things will keep you warm.
But you also know that I give you my hand, my shoulder, my ears for you to scream.
And if you should cry, I will be the wind and I shall blow your tears dry.
If you are tired and worn I will wrap the biggest blanket around your wounded soul and I will rock you to peace.
I can try to mend your broken heart with the pieces I have left of mine.
So you see? As a healer, I am lucky to have you.
And as the wounded, you are lucky to have me.
We complete each other.
If you should ever be so lucky to know me. 🦋
I could live by my pen-
Always follow your heart, for it is the comfort and warmth for your soul.
Your heart knows what you need.
It shall never steer you wrong. 💙🦋
Repeat after me,
Take this day in my hand.
It will be a joyous most beautiful one at that.
I will be happiness and happiness will be me.
All the beauty of this world I will soak up.
I will give thanks to the lessons I’ve been given to conquer.
All is right in my world
All is right in my soul.
Nothing and no one shall break my spirit.
For I am Golden.
It’s been much to long since I’ve written you.
You’ve always been there for me, I thank you with all my glory.
Life has been up and down. More down I suppose. My father is still alive but still dying. The dementia seems to have paused its deterioration of his brain for a bit now. So he’s eating and recognizes us more frequently lately.
The man I love is still frozen, he’s as cold to me as the blizzard is to the morning. He doesn’t care for me nor will he ever, but as you know I did except this behavior because I thought, I’d rather have some of him and not none of him. But this belief has left me more broken and more torn.
As you would say, “Amy, he will treat yo...
The glorious beauty of winter.
It’s cold will remove all pain.
Watch the old year wither away.
The earth now sleeps
And prepares for new beginnings with the growth of Spring.
Love winter, for with winter comes peace and sleep.
It prepares us for the rise of a new earth. 💐
Have you ever wanted to run up a great big field and scream out loud,
“Come back to me”
Have you ever closed your eyes to relive the moments of laughter, kisses and eyes that make you believe?
And in that moment of looking into their eyes you whisper,
“Always find your way back to me, no matter where life takes us”.
Have you ever watched the love of your heart sleeping?
As they are deep in dreams you hold their hand on your heart and say,
“This heart beats for you, when you are lost or broken or angry at the world,
Listen for the beating sound,
Feel it in your hands.
Let it guide your way
And return to me”.
Oh my Nathan. 😞
There are some beautiful memories of time spent with you.
The kissing, the holding, the touching.
But of the memories, there is one that simply is truly the best.
Midnight, rain, you, me and your Orange Tractor 🚜
I want to say Thank You.
Thank you for making me feel like a school girl again.
When I look up at the night sky in the rain, I remember that night.
Although it leaves my heart hurting, it also illuminates my eyes and my smile.
So thank you.
Goodbyes are never easy. Especially when you say it to the wind,
For the person you need to say it to is already gone.
Knowing you will never speak to one another again has a way of setting grief and mourning into your heart with a door way leading to your soul.
Everything becomes dark, cold, silent.
Your goodbye never quite heard and therefor never understood.
No matter how crippling this Goodbye is, it’s no match for holding on and never being able to love the person openly where the whole world can view.
So Goodbye it is.
The memories of you will keep in my thoughts.
May the world give you happiness and peace.
Nope, we haven’t met yet.
I have no idea who you are
or what you even look like.
I don’t know your name or your age or even if you are close by or far away.
I do know we will meet.
You and I will find one another and you’ll fall head over heels with my bum and I with your smile.
I will spoil you with kisses.
My fingers will travel your body and they will leave trails behind for every night I will journey that body and conquer as Indie has in all his adventures.
I will kiss you so deeply and so much that when we are apart you’ll still feel the warmth of my lips all over you.
I anxiously wait for our meeting.
And once we are together please do not...
Goodbye Old Year
2018 has been an interesting year.
The highs, the lows all have great value.
Love gained, love lost.
Memories made beautifully by a lover. A lover who may become a permanent stitch in ones life or perhaps they were just passing through to teach a lesson or fill the moments emptiness.
Anyway it’s all meant to be. The universe has an extraordinary way of playing our cards.
No matter where 2018 left me, it left me with this,
Life is beautiful even when it’s chaotic, sad or confusing.
Take a moment and watch the sunset, take a deep breath and remember Life is beautiful.
Late night meeting.
Sitting on his lap on his tractor as the rain pours down on us.
Tracking through the woods
I look up at the night sky and I feel the rain on my face.
This is the most beautiful night of my life, on his lap riding through the woods in the rain.
I will treasure this memory for all my life.
Thank you Nate. 🇮🇱🦋
And so I’m back to where I was 1 1/2 yrs ago. Missing someone who has disappeared all for his own reasons in which he refuses to explain.
I’m back to feeling sad and uncertain. Back to missing the one person I adore and miss kissing all over his face and squeezing him so tight because I’m missing him even when he’s in my arms because I knew he’d have to leave again.
How do I begin to forget him.
Where do I begin.
Merry Christmas Eve
To you beautiful creatures of this magnificent earth.
May joy, love and happiness overflow your heart.
Be full on Happiness 😌💙🦋
It gets lonely sometimes.
No most times.
Being single isn’t hard but it does get cold and lonely.
Some days I come home and walk to my bedroom, it’s dark and cold and empty.
One day I wish to lay down in some beautiful mans arms and feel him pull me so close that I lose my breath.
When I wake in the morning, I touch him....
He is real.
With the morning I rise,
The sun has yet to show it’s beauty.
I wake with the stars and oh that beautiful moon so preciously bright.
Standing outside, close my eyes
The new day whispers to my heart, “The day is new and it is yours to conquer and keep, be happy. Forget those who do not want or love you. Live on”
In the cold black night
You should come to me.
Lay your soul across my legs and let me soothe you with my calm.
Allow these kisses to escape my lips onto your flesh and feel the heat rise from your bones.
You are called a Warrior because you hold a brave face, a warm heart and gentle hands.
Sacrifice for honor is who you are. You give with no expectations, you hold no reservation and your lips hold no emotion.
To me you are brave,
You are strong
You are a wonder
I’ll hold you in my heart for all my life.
Carry me in your thoughts.
May the kisses I bestow upon your lips and face sleep peacefully within your heart.
Always my love, my peace,
My Warrior 😌
When one must make a decision
That will leave them to suffer.
A great pain, a loss.
When goodbye leads you to Mourn.
It’s called a sacrifice
In order for ones heart to remain beating.
I just wish he would allow himself to feel. That he would come to me whenever he thought of me. If he should desire my presence, he should come.
My arms will always be open to him. They are cold without him. And bitter is the cold.
He should know I’d wrap him in this love and it’s burning, it’s wild, it’s free of judgment and is truly kind.
I am a happy women by nature but I am MOST happiest when I am in his reach. To feel him wrap his arms around me as we lay in bed and feel his sigh of relief is all I ever pray for.
I just wish he would allow himself to feel what he feels for me. 😌🇮🇱🌻
How do I, where do I begin.
Show me how to let you go so this sadness does not lurk any longer. You don’t need me yet I grieve in your very absence. I do not wish to love someone who does not love me.
It’s suffocating and cold within my walls.
If I could fall on my knees and beg you to love me I would but that would only make your ego big, it would not make you need me or care for me.
Please dear God help me break free of this man. Help me break free. 🙏🏼🇮🇱💔
Loving is a great gift given to us. So please take care and love with all your heart. One will always remember those who loved them immensely.
Rise with the Morning
Give praise for you are here.
Live the best life you know how.
Gentle, soft, kind and patient, be........
and all the world will remember you.
With the fall of the night you leave, take flight.
But deep within my heart we shall never be apart.
To know you is to savor you.
I couldn’t ask for more.
For in my lifetime it is you I shall always and forever adore.
I am not your Wife.
Nor am I your girlfriend.
But all the world knows
I am yours.
If you were here right now, I’d be searching for words to say and how to say them.
It’s funny, for when you are gone from my sight, words over words keep rolling off my tongue and my heart sings aloud in every tune imaginable.
When you are here in my arms, in my bed, I stutter and all my thoughts they hibernate. They crawl into an abyss and I’m truly lost for words.
Hello my love, my breath, my sight.
I’m waiting for the day the time the moment, you should arrive and be here again with me in my arms with my kisses smothering your words.
This waiting is killing me slowly.
I cannot begin to describe the torment and the loneliness felt inside.
You are missed.