|Loving is a great gift given to us. So please take care and love with all your heart. One will always remember those who loved them immensely.|
It’s been a year this month since we last seen one another.
I’ve married last October.
I did what you suggested.
Found someone good and kind.
He loves me with every breath.
Yet still I sit and sigh. Why?
Because he isn’t you.....
Without seeing you has left me empty, silent and worn.
I know now for certain we will never embrace or go for rides in the middle of the night on your tractor.
I miss you. Oh dear God how I miss you. That will never change.
An empty broken heart feels peaceful in a sense.
I hope one day, even if it’s for a second, that I should see you from a far, this way maybe my heart could feel something and not just suffering.
Weep, sigh, suffocate.
It feels empty.
The cold dead silence lingers like a plague of insane and immoral thoughts.
Hollow and deep, it’s echoes of pain drift with such leisure,poise and elegance.
I once called this my happy place.
Now it is known as my condemned heart.
Mmm it lingers.
The soft flesh so delicious in tastes of cherry or watermelon waiting for you.
My lips part ever so slightly.
Slow deep breaths I take just thinking of your mouth.
That toxic temptation bringing heat in between my thighs.
Do you think of them everyday?
Look for them everywhere you go?
See them in all the places you’ve been.
Mostly when you’re alone in the shower or driving.
Does the sadness overwhelm you and you try so hard to catch your breath before you drown or crash?
Yeah, so do I.
Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ll be alright. I understand that life goes on.
I just can’t help but wish that person missed me the same.
That will never happen.
So I’ll miss them and miss them some more.
Fact: When I am old and in a rocker I will remember him. I will think of him and what we shared and maybe that will rest my
How are you? What have you been up to?
Maybe you don’t see why I would continue to write to you, I hope it’s ok?
You’ll always be thought of.
It’s something too natural for me. So not thinking of you would be strange.
Have you finished building around your home? Still traveling?
Please consider keeping a friendship....please?
I pray that you are happy and healthy. I pray every waking moment that you are happy.
I guess I’ll end the note with I am Ok.
I wish things were different.
I no longer pray for anything that may make my life more splendid. God doesn’t seem to think we are right for one another so I leave you behind and keep your memories alive.
My life is a sad life because you are no longer in it.
I miss you always.
I hope you are doing well.
Please don’t mind me writing you.
Even though we cannot see one another, know and carry with you this.
I think of you everyday.....still.
I pray everyday you’re safe and happy.
My heart dies a little everyday knowing I’ll never see you again.
I will Never stop caring for you Nate.
I really hope we keep in touch just so you can ease my worry.
Love Always, your friend
It’s been a while.
I still think of you everyday.
May you be well and safe but most of all may you thrill in happiness.
Praying your heart is full of love, happiness and peace.
I miss your face deeply.
Maybe one last ride on your tractor before I go?
Before I move so far away that all I’ll have to remember you are the stars and the mental photographs
For the first time in almost five years,
I have no words.
His actions baffle me.
His words poison me.
His smile is pure evil
His hands destroy
His thoughts, unattainable
Is his heart made of pure coal?
Is it blood? Or perhaps Venom that flows through his veins?
His eyes blue
But are they blue because they are translucent appearing empty?
He makes the devil seem innocent compared to his ways.
He burns me with the cold of his soul.
He suffocates my heart.
I am dead.
I get to love you.
When I’m old and grey let the memory of you bring a smile to my face and a song in my heart.
I get to love you. We are not a couple. Friends, I’d like to think.
Through my life, the happy times the sad. The confusion, the loss.
What’s most important in life’s journey?
I get to love
Peace in my heart.
It’s all I want.
It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
The sweet decadent feeling of love, joy and steadiness.
Peace in my heart.
You set these feeling within me.
It’s been a while. I’m thinking of you but you’ve expected that I bet.
Missing you has become a big part of who I am.
I still wish you were mine.
I wish you slept in my bed every night just so I can wake from a deep sleep and look at you and smile with peace in my heart.
It’s been a sad week. A friend of mine is leaving me. We worked together on the same shift but now he’s leaving.
I didn’t realize how sad it would make me until the change was finalized. I cried.
The deep sadness is real.
I didn’t think he’d miss me but Thursday he came to me and got really close to my ear and he said, “You’re my best friend Amy, I’m going to miss working with you but you will see me again. This I promise you”.
My dear sweet Marlin, you have been such a staple in my life.
Who will wipe my frown and replace it with a smile like you have? Who will stare all the way down the warehouse just to smile at me when our eyes meet?
Oh how I’ll miss...
It’s where I am.
It is where I will always be.
After the exhale, it feels like I’m going to fall.
Is hurting, stings like a bite from a wasp.
My soul searches for you.
And she finally gave up,
dropped the fake smile
as a tear ran down her cheek and she whispered to herself,
“I can’t do this anymore”
When you go you will take a piece of me with you.
You never left my side.
You took care of me the best way you knew how.
As I look at your frail body, your tiny face and your lifeless hands.....
I kiss your forehead and tell you oh how much I love you daddy.
We will meet again I am sure of it.
Go in peace, May you suffer no more.
I’ve been told some sad news. My father is now in hospice. Which means it’s only a matter of when. We knew this day would come but one never really prepares for this. How can you?
What makes all this harder is not having someone who can wrap his arms around me and just hold me for a moment. Let time be frozen in his arms. When he can say to me, “it’s all going to be fine Amy, it’s all going to be alright”.
How does one comfort themselves?
My big question.
How do I comfort myself when there’s no one to comfort me?
After Nate said I should allow myself to meet someone, I did.
A friend who has been asking me for a date finally got his wish.
It was tough, I mean all the while I wonder how Nate was and thought of kissing him all over his face! (It’s something I did every time we met).
Chad is nice and kind and funny. He has a warm heart and even bought me roses. That was sweet. He doesn’t know my favorite flower is the Iris.
At the end of the date he hugged me and moved in for a kiss. I pushed my face into his chest and just hugged him. I had no desire to kiss him. Next time I will try to allow myself to go with it. He isn’t Nate and he never will be. This is my greatest challenge ...
Why must I miss you so much.
You’re always in my thoughts.
I miss you so much I can’t stand it.
I just want to kiss you and touch you and feel your body naked against mine.
Your lips pressed on mine.
Why must I miss you so much?
In the dark of night
Silently lit by her moon, she sits on the rocks on the hill top. Looking down into the darkness where the ocean waves dance and kiss the shore.
She stares out deep into the sea in which is seen only by the light of her moon.
Deep in the distance she wonders.
Her love it’s owned.
This brave and beautiful man so strong yet scared is somewhere out there yet to claim her.
She’s prepared to shield him with her love, her joy and her pains.
The wind blows softly through her long black hair. Her dress long and blue as his eyes.
Her lips slightly apart.
Her eyes dark and sad yet somehow they show a great pride.
For she knows within the depths of her soul h...
“Sometimes you have to make decisions that hurt your heart but calm your soul” - Unknown
From that night with him.
All I can hear are the words he uttered.
“Amy, I’ll help you find a man, shoot I’ll have them lined up for you”.
At that moment I thought, “where is the broom and dust pan so I can clean up the broken pieces of my heart”.
All I’ve ever done was love this man, and be kind to him.
And these are his last words to me.
Today was a good day. The beach was most beautiful this morning.
This evening I’m home sipping on yummy wine watching Outlander, a super series of war, love and time travel.
Today was a good day.
I’m not sad all the time.
Only when I’m not with you.
How will I learn to be.
Knowing I’ll never be with you again.
I do hope that I had some meaning in your life. Maybe I made you smile or maybe your soul felt home in my arms, as mine did in yours.
I still picture your hand in mine as I follow it’s curves with my fingers.
This pain, it’s incredible and it’s infinite.
Lend me your ear and I’ll kiss it just before my lips whisper in it, “I Love You”
There will always be that One.
Who’s presence will heighten the senses of your body.
Who when they kiss you, you forget your own name.
That One, when they leave it makes your world so empty and quiet. You can no longer hear the birds or the wind or laughter.
And you certainly no longer hear the beating of your own heart, for it sits so still as if it’s forgotten to how to beat without the sound of his voice.
To the One: I love you. I miss you. I need you.
Your energy, your smile, your voice all carry my soul and my heart.
I’m sorry we’ve managed to loose each other.
I’m sorry goodbye was in our vocabulary.
To the One.
I still miss him so much.
I wonder if he misses me.
Does he think of me even just a little.
I cried yesterday just a little.
I’ll cry the rest today.