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September 4, 2018
Courtland, United States

              Conversation
                     with
                 My Heart

Me: “How could you?”

Heart: “Huh?”

Me: “Why would you make me fall in love with someone so unattainable? Why sacrifice my soul to only sustain sadness that we both feel. Heart and Soul?”

Heart: “I want what I want, and that my dear is how you shall live the rest of your life.”

Me: (standing with a blank stare)

THAT'S SO SAD
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September 1, 2018
Windsor, United States

You are magical.
Your eyes, they speak to me in this secret language that suits us all so well.

On my darkest days and my most loneliest nights, mental photographs of you numb it all away.

If I could melt into you.
If my lips would only remain pressed upon yours, life would surely be a sweet and decadent dance.

MAKE IDEAS HAPPEN
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PO#551955
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August 22, 2018
Windsor, United States

My dearest Nate,
Today is your birthday. Maybe we’ll see one another and maybe we won’t.  
Regardless, I’m thinking of you and wishing you a magnificent day.  
This love affair it lingers, you come and go almost like the seasons.  Still I’m filled with elation’s every moment I am with you.   
I love you, I miss you and I pray I’ll see you soon.   
Love,
      Amy

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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August 3, 2018
Courtland, United States

He opened her chest with the whisper of his words, with the touch of his lips pressed upon her breasts.  
Just so he could look at her heart
Stare at it as it’s beating, beating for only him.  
This he knows all so cleverly.
Exposed, naked, tortured by his fleeing, only to return if and when he should feel like it.  
Sealing her chest only with his breath.

ORIGINAL
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July 15, 2018
Courtland, United States

Inside I’m screaming!!!
Loud and unruly, my hands are up and stretched wide.  

Screaming, “Take this pain please I beg you to take this loneliness away from my heart please!!!!!!!!”

I don’t want to die, but I don’t wish to live.  

ORIGINAL
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July 11, 2018
Windsor, United States

When we come across someone who’s eyes melt the pain away.   Someone who’s smile takes you on a journey through your own heart where you find a great joy you never knew was there.   
A person who you find yourself running to, reaching to and holding tight to because their energy soothes your wounded soul.
Slowly you look at them and you memorize every bit of detail of their face so when they are away you can close your eyes and almost touch them with your thoughts.  
Yours hands can never seem to get enough of the feel of their skin.  Your fingers roam their body as if it is a whole new world only for you to rediscover over and over.  
This person, so brave and strong and beautifully create...

A MAN'S BEST FRIEND
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July 8, 2018
Windsor, United States

The very moment you realize it’s never going to get better.
Now you must decide how you will deal with this unruly pain that remains occupying your heart and finding its way into your soul.
You are aware now, this pain WILL consume all you are and eventually it will define you.
The cure?   Being loved.  
Something that will never be.  
You can’t change that.  
So you will die slowly but death will be a great honor compared to this horrific and tragic pain.

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A MAN'S BEST FRIEND
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June 13, 2018
Windsor, United States

Nate,
You’ve returned to me, so what if it’s only for stolen moments.  

Your arrival has been much anticipated.  I have dreamed about you and seeing you in the flesh for some time now.  
Your lips STILL excite my soul! The kisses we exchange they have a language of their own and only we understand it.  
Speak to me Nate, kiss my lips with that suburb mouth of yours.   
My heart drowns in your warmth and my heart floats on your breath.  
I’ve missed you dreadfully.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
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March 27, 2018
Courtland, United States

You haven’t called or written.  
I realize now I do not matter, I never mattered.  
Yesterday was my birthday....and with all the cheers and laughter, with all the calls and text messages, none were from you.  
Oh how I waited and checked and waited some more.
You never needed me and oh how I sigh.....for I need(ed) you.   
You haven’t written, you haven’t called.
And you never will.
🥀

DAY OF TRUTH
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March 8, 2018
 

To the wind I whisper, songs escape my breath. Lifting my arms to the night and the moon.  He’s in my thoughts and I ask the wind to ring this to him.  
These arms left empty and wide open awaiting your return.   
The scent of your soul, the taste of your kiss are sadly missed.  
Come back to me...return and feel how missed you are so dearly.  

LETTRS CHALK
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March 7, 2018
Windsor, United States

He’s leaving. Not a moment to soon or a moment too late. He is gone.

365 days he’ll be away and yet the world still will go on.  I will learn to live without him though it will grieve my very being.

Ah yes, I can see his smile, that gloriously wonderful smile. It’s as almost like he is looking right through me and his smile takes to me the very air I need to breathe.  
He’s surrounded by the warmth of the sun as it’s generated from his smile.   It saves me. It soothes me. I heals me. Because of him, life lived by me feels easy.
He’s gone, and with him...my heart.  
The world is so cold now, there’s complete nothingness where my heart once was found.   The black frosted night consumes my ...

LETTRS CHALK
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August 21, 2017
Courtland, United States

I'm never going to see you again am I?
The last time we were together will be the last time ever isn't it?

Sometimes if I close my eyes and see you here kissing my forehead, it almost feels as though you never left. It's as if you are really here at that moment.

It's going on a year I've had to be without you, yet in my heart it feels like you've only been gone a few hours or few days.

But reality is this.....almost a year and my arms have been empty.
Spider webs occupy my empty soul.
Nate 💋🇮🇱😔

ORIGINAL
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August 12, 2017
Courtland, United States

It was you who stole kisses from me that night.
Tall and handsome, an extraordinary sight.
Your lips so soft, had me melt away.
Now being without you kills my heart everyday.

To think of you makes my lips form a frown, for being without you leaves me feeling so down.
If you should come back these words I would say,

"I love you, I miss you, please tell me you'll stay"

NATIONAL LAZY DAY
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PO#551955
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August 8, 2017
Courtland, United States

Nathan,
It's been so long I haven't an idea where to begin.
How are you doing and feeling? What terrifying places have you been to?
How often do you smile or laugh?
I laugh often and it's a great way to hide the pain.  No one suspects a thing.
The pain, my pain is never seeing you or hearing from you, not knowing if you are ok.
Nathan Paul Simpkims.....you will forever be the reason I live and die with a broken heart.

ORIGINAL
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August 3, 2017
Courtland, United States

For Nate P S
I'm Through by Ingrid Michaelson
https://open.spotify.com/track/5WWetlfuHjCgS13z5CktFA?si=YoEotkNW

ANNE FRANK
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July 25, 2017
Courtland, United States

I'm dead inside.
There isn't anything brewing, there is no more heartbeat.
No sunshine or its warmth.
I am filled with cold and dark.
I am flooded with pain and sorrow.
Death has made a home within my body. She took my soul by the neck and squeezed all the light right out.
My heart? Death ate it like a sweet delicacy and pissed poison in place of my blood so it can run its course through my veins and destroy any hope that might have been lingering.
Death makes for a horrid roommate.

ONE VOICE DAY
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July 25, 2017
Courtland, United States

Happiness.
Can anyone tell me what that feels like?
I'm afraid it's been so long that I can't remember.
I didn't intend to forget what it makes us feel.
I've looked for it you know.
In the closet, under my bed, at the store. I even checked my pockets....but I can't seem to find it     

Happiness, where did you go and what do you feel like?
We had met so long ago and that memory has faded now.
I hope to meet you again someday.  
Someday.

ORIGINAL
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July 17, 2017
Courtland, United States

What should I do?
When the one I long for so deeply and unconditionally doesn't yearn for me in return?
Some say "let go", others say, "move on and forget".
Oh if it was only that easy my friends.
As easy as wanting him, missing his face or easy as it is to cry for "the moments" spent looking in his deep blue eyes.
Nate, (my lovers gone)

LOVE IT
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July 10, 2017
Courtland, United States

I miss my friend.
Miss our silly chats about deer and turkeys.
I miss your grin when you'd look at me and you'd know I'm thinking exactly the same thing as you.  Because we were that cool. I miss my friend.
I miss you 🎈

LOVE IT
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July 8, 2017
Courtland, United States

Dear Nate,
Yes, I still think of you and wish you were here again and again and again....

LOVE IT
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June 2, 2017
Manteo, United States

When you're missing someone but can't do anything about it.
When he's on your mind and you just wish you could run into his arms or jump on him while he sits on the couch and give him a 1000 kisses all over his face because he means so much to you.

Wishing you could watch him sleep and trace his chest with your fingers as you are dazed by his wonderfully handsome face.
Damn it I miss the little time I had, the pleasure of being with you.

Goodbye

ORIGINAL
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May 30, 2017
Courtland, United States

My dearest Nate,
It's been awhile since I've written you. It's because I occupied my thoughts with someone else. This way the memories of you wouldn't hurt as much.
It worked for a brief moment, but you've managed to sneak into my thoughts again.

Oh how my heart hurts again.
I miss looking at you, seeing your magnificent eyes and feeling your smile deep within my soul.
When I cry the strangest thing happens....I manage to smile at the same time because while the thought of you kills me within, the same thoughts of you bring a joy undefinable.
Nathan ❤️

ORIGINAL
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May 16, 2017
Courtland, United States

No....please don't!
You mustn't!!!!
Have sympathy and please don't! Whatever you do...just do not! I beg of you don't.....(whispers) Break My Heart.

DRAWING DAY
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May 3, 2017
Windsor, United States

Darkness, it's quite the lady.
You see, she lingers around you...whispering as she prances before you.

Darkness, it's quite vicious but in the most passive way one can imagine.

Luring us, taunting us, enticing us with her endless passage.

Making sleep seem like the only way to ease the pain of life's cruelty.

Darkness intoxicates me, my tired worn soul has no place left to search for means of existence so Darkness curtsies ever so slowly with the most significantly seductive smile....she almost took hold of me today....

Almost

MAY PHOTO MONTH
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May 2, 2017
Courtland, United States

Him:" I love her to death!"

Me: (inside voice) "I guess I should try not to think of you every second of my days. You love her, damn I'm so stupid!"

Me: "Well, she's a very lucky girl"

MAY PHOTO MONTH
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April 28, 2017
Courtland, United States

There is that one person, given the chance I'd risk it all for.

Given the chance I'd hold
My hands open and take a journey through time showing him how amazing he is to me.
Spoiling him with kisses and ease.
Letting him feel how truly wonderful he surly is in my eyes.....Given the chance.

KISS A PRINCE
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April 27, 2017
Courtland, United States

Will we ever see each other again?

I had a dream about you and as always....you took my breath away.

This morning I woke up and I cried a little.

Just a little.

ORIGINAL
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April 16, 2017
Windsor, United States

The streets are paved with memories, whichever direction you take or whatever turns you make.
Every road, path, trail.....
Is paved with memories of you.

HAPPY EASTER
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April 5, 2017
Windsor, United States

I adore him....
As so does "she"

To hold tight to his heart and soul, to break night dreaming of the love they both feel for the same man.
Both hearts break for when he is away licking his battle wounds....I ache for his touch.....
As so does "she".

Here I anticipate his arrival but first he will go home to "her" and they will celebrate their union, the marriage in which they have become one soul from two.

I know of "her"
"She", not of me.
#Unknown lover, #Love

LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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March 22, 2017
Windsor, United States

Pilot,
Your title suits you.

The moments spent with you seemed stolen, you're always so quick to depart,
take flight....for me to never really know when I'll see you again.   

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
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