Some peace ....
Living a life full of stress anxyanty tears and pain.
I could only pray for some peace even at night ibhad no peace.
Know i starterd a new chapter of my life
I moved to a saver place
I Just leave it all behind me and starded fresh
A new home what is feeling like my home already my own save place
For such a long time my life
I was forgotten hoe peace feels liked.
But know u remember its the most wonderfull feeling in the world
And nobody gonne take my peace ever again and leave me in the dark
Now that i found the light again
The peace and the quality of living in a happy place that i can call my home.
Feeling grateful en blessed
3 days to go...
Voelt zo vreemd
Voel van alles en voel ook niks
Wil even niet meer voelen denken
Ben van zo ver gekomen,
Het waren roerige zware moeilijke jaren
Met ook heel veel mooie leuke liefdevolle momenten
Maar blijkbaar waren deze jaren nodig omdat ik als mens ...
gegroeid ben, sterker geworden ben
dichter bij mezelf ben komen te staan
Maar vandaag laat ik even los
Neem ik afscheid van wat is geweest
Laat ik nog een keer alles over me heen komen,
Sta ik stil neem ik afscheid van wat was
The good & the bad
Me herrineringen draag ik mee in me hart
En de rest laat ik achter in het verleden
De toekomst ligt voor me ..
een nieuw begin een nieuwe start
neem mee wat van mij en me dochte...
How to say goodbye to the man
Who puts a real smile on my face
Who brighten my days and nights
Who's words were so kind and understanding each time we spoke.
Time and different places we live should not be a problem ...
Tell me how you do it...
live youre life without the knowing you must life it without that person who you so feel connected with ...
You shared so much with and who had stolen and captured your heart
In Just a Heartbeat....
Knowing he will never gonne put a smile on my face again.
Never gonne call me Honey ever again
I can't and won't accept that..
You have to give me back My heart and show me how to unlove you ...
Teach me how you did it....
So i can do the s...
Wishing for feelings to go away
To stop the feelings i feel
I Hate myself for feelings it all too much love to much think
Ti much off everything
Once again it lead me to a place i dont like
Its dark drowing me emotionel i don't have peace here
I feel it in my whole body and mind
Wondering hoe long IT Will take me this time to escape ...
When Will it me enaugh...
And van i be truly happy again
Tomorrow you are leaving for two weeks
You are going on a holiday to your father.
The last few days i am feeling tired anxyanty Restless headache and a feeling of being scared.
I didn't know why i was feeling like this until IT hits me hard this morning
I'am feeling like this because you are leaving
I know its not normal to feel like this.
I'am your mother i can't stop wondering. You in another country dat away from mine
I can't protect you be there for you
When things go wrong
l even resent your father because of him i can't go nowhere
I'am stuck because of him while he playing the father with all the money luxer and happy life
While hè puts me in the situatie i'am in.
Revuse to pa...
"While he was feeling better.. Something was still giving him anxiety. He couldn't understand what it was until he opened that book. Something fell out and as he picked it up from the ground...
As he look down on the floor his heart skipt a beat and he forgotten how to breathe.
In the palm of his hand sweat is what hè feels.
To scared to pic up what had tubbeld in the floor
Deep down he knew what was on the picture.
Memories of that night coming back in his mind,
feeling it all over again.
Slowly his hands are moving to the floor hè can't stop them.
A single tear falling out of his eye, so for a moment hè close Both eyes taking a Deep breathe
Talks to himself that he can do this, its been...
Once upon a time .....
I believed in fairytalls and the Prince on the White horse in true love and in everlasting love..
But in ime all my believes on those story's shatterendt in pieces a vew years ago.
And keep shatterering ...
I'am a Dreamer a true romanticus
And don't wanne loose hope in the story once upon a time...
I hope My once upon a time is still coming and save me ....
And we live happy ever after together
As i think of you..
I know you are the of somebody else.
For a long time i thought we were meant to be together.
Where youre thought were somewere else
We had some great moments,
I loved you ..
You never loved me...
As more the a friend to a friend
What we Both did have was respect
You Walked out of my life Just as fast as you come in it
you found a love now and look happy.
I know once there was that's feeling between us
If i could go back i would takr that chance don't hesitate like we deed back then
Even is it was for just one night
I would to that take the chance, i always gonne ask myself hoe it would be.
I think pretty fucking amazing.
But that's something i Will never know now.
My name is anneke. I am 42 years old and I’m from the Netherlands. My favorite color is green and my hobbies include to Wright scrapbooking, going out with Friends, love to Read, do tarot and getting inkted . If I can describe myself in one word it would be a Sweet person.
My precious Moon...
Today its a full Moon
I'am feeling it already a few days before today.
You are so Bright tonight
With lots of lessons to learn and to embrace
I love the Moon despite hè makes me feep soi much each time
I also know each time you shine at night you make me feel make me understand myself and others
Learn me to trust to have faith to do good look within myself
en help me grown into who i am and letting go wat no longer serve me and to trust whats coming without doubting
Tot have faith in what you bring to me
Too see how i need to change in order to becoming who i always suposse to be...
Always with love never hate
See you tonight my precious moon
There they are again...
The three i thought were hard to forget, to let go....but i did it
At least i thought i die that.
They always coming back together at the same time in my life..
Just like this week
After months niet talking niet comminacation no nothing.
They keep texting me now keep
want to meet me.....
Its done and over not going back again.
I miss the moments i hadwith each of you
But i want something real this time
A guy who gets me who wants to be with me for me...
Soms moeten we keuzes maken
Hoe moeilijk dat ook is.
Keuzes omdat je van jezelf houdt
Keuzes omdat dat jou keuze is om jezelf te kunnen zijn.
Soms doen we een ander daarbij pijn
En willen we die keuze niet maken.
Maar het gaat om jou
Om jou zelfliefde....Om te zijn wie jij bent
Om verder te groeien en jouw pad te volgen.
Ook is het vaak wat anderen denken een drempel om het niet te doen
Maar jij leeft voor jezelf....niet voor een ander.
Als jij achter jouw gevoel staat en dat volgt ga je stralen.....groeien en bloeien.
Laat je niet beperken door een ander
Ieder heeft zijn eigen verantwoordelijkheid
De liefde in jezelf voel je als jij ben wie jij bent
En daar gaat het om...
Inked on paper
Inked on my body
I'am addicted to Both
Both it is a way to Express yourself,
I love to wright the words of feelings and emoties in paper.
But i love to skets those emoties in a drawing that become a tattoo with a story on my body
All my tattoo's are mine hidden under neith my clothes,
The have a special meaning formele not to show to others
Just as my deepest darkest saddest happiest feeling are on paper just here
Yesterday draw a new tattoo design
Can't wait for the moment the tattoo pen gonne set his pen on my skin
another part of my story on my body
Just like another part of my story written here
I love my inkted life
And there i go again.
Making the mistake agian
when wil i learn
Trusting to soon to much iam to stupid to see,
believing the words that were spoken to me.
I'am afraid i will never learn
I always feel like this
Just feeling down and sad angry at myself voor nog are the things as the are.
Who the are
Its killing me when or who's gonne be real with me for one time
My trust is totally gone...
Ooh its Hurt do much
I wish someone have true intentions Just for once
I'am a Dreamer believe in the good in love in in being real onesty and trust .....
Maybe u need the stop dreaming because that's got me in this shit
I learnt a new things about me today.
Even do i always dat to met babygirl.
When you do something die another you must do that from the heart with the right intension.
And not because you want something in return
You can't expect from others that what you gife to others
they once return you the favor.
I loved to help Care en being there for others, without they have to be there for me.
But lately i wonders when wil somebody Care for me not because the want something for me just for me
why i'am Hurting and feel not enaugh
Why why why
Je doet niks fout
Je hebt niks fout gedaan
Het is niet jouw schuld
Dat je je zo voelt
Dat je leven is zoals het nu is
Dat het telkens weer zo loopt
Dat je (even) niet weet hoe anders
Dat je (soms) vastloopt
Het is het leven dat zich iets aan jou laat zien
Het is het leven dat je uitnodigt om te kijken
Dat je uitnodigt om toe te laten
En als je toelaat wordt het helder
Dat het enkel dit was dat zich liet zien
Dat het je iets wilde zeggen
En niet meer, niet minder dan dat
Dat je niks fout deed
Maar dat er gewoon nog iets zat
Iets wat je tot nu toe moeilijk vond om naar te kijken
En nu misschien wel lukt
En als het niet lukt is dat precies wat moet zijn
Is dat precies wat je mag ervaren
I'am blessed to still have my father around,
As little girl you always want to Marry your dad,
My dad was always there where i needed him.
Hè thought me so many great things in life about life.
My babygirl when she was born my father was there with me
Helpt me true sicaxan
was with me the moment i became a mother and my dad for the first time a grandad.
Hè helpt me raise my little girl seeing hem enjoying being a grandad.
Spend time with my baby
Is priceless, hè showed and teach here do many great things in life about life
I'am grateful for my dad in so many ways.
I love him for who hè is what hè thought me and my babygirl.
Happy fathersday i love you
Such a small word
But such a impact
I don't trust easily
Don't make me promisses Just to keep me for your entertainment.
I am a big girl
Better the truth then a lie.
Better alone then being played.
If i give you my trust,
and you play with that's i'am out no goodbye no last words i Just dissepear
If you ask why let me tell you.
Even how much i like love Care for you
i Care for myself also.
If you don't show me i wil not show you
simpel learned that lessons a long ago.
Trust is easy given
but once broken hard to repair
We were drunk all night of love and dreaming
Counting stars all night, and I remember well
How you told me your name and ask me and ask me mine
But after a few days talking
Nothing came.. and i knew
At the moment you were gone
There are clouds across the sun
All my life I've waited for you
Sky came tumbling down
From the moment you were gone
All my life been die to meet you
But ever since you're gone
There are clouds across the sun
Be free to be who you are
Accept was had been in your life before.
Dont be affraid of what the future will be.
Dont live your life in the past our your future
Live your life in the present en enjoy it.
You onley have today yesterday is gone
and Tomorrow ....
Well mayby there is no tommorow.
Just be who you are
be free to do whatever you want
be bold to try new things
Life today as it is your last day
I need the need to have some qouit time..
I need the need to feel again..
I need the need to breathe again...
I need the need to relax again..
I need the need to love and be loved again
I need the need to trust it al works out...
Al those needs i need to get going on.
Instead of needing it i'am gonne truts it.
No more needs for me to need...
It only brings me dissepointment ...
Let go of my needs and follow whats come.
Live without needing is my new goal
This week everybody's gonne heard if the getting their diploma.
Babygirl you also supossed the het this news.
Except the last years were hard
And even harder tot you.
In steed of learning at school you learn to survice
In steed you being with tour Friends
You learned to defend yourself
You learned do many hard lessons
You niet so much school because of that.
You start another school after Summers break you dind't het tour diploma in this school
Bit baby you deserve a golden plaquette voor al you been true.
You gonne make IT i'am so proud of you
With only you in my thoughts
Drifting on dreams we share.
Knowing we never have the futures together
We only have what we share in this moment
Both want more both feeling connect
but were miles and decinia apart from each other
But yet so close in my heart,
One soul who have touch me in so many ways,
wil never ever be truly mine.
But in dreams we are together
Feeling love and to be loved.
A love do far away
and deels so close
It Burns me inside and has awakening a part of me that no longer existend,
You are my babe my light my dreams and my hopes
You made me feel a lot
So thank you for coming in my life even you are far away.
You always have me your dreams
I i have you in mines
I'am drowning in my own thoughts
i'am silence, but i want to scream
I want to run, but i can't move
I want to be happy, no longer sad.
I want to embrace it instead i fear it
Dont want to lose it again, but its Hurt to dammm much
I want to forget it instead te relife it
Please let me swim far away from it.
Dont let me drown another time.
I know rha darkness is Lurking
To take me under
I am tempted to sink down under
I'am tired of fighting
the same battle over and over again.
But i must bit give in or up
I gonne swim no matter what
I won't let me pull under even if its my last battle i have to fight
Swim to the light even if the darkness is temped to surrender to.
Whats matter is ...
Not who was with you at the
Beginning the ....
Its who wil be there with you in
the end ...
That's whats matter most
And suddely she felt a tear escape
One by one the tears keep falling down
She could't stop them even if she wanted it
she doesn't inderstandt why she cried.
But after a while the tears slowly stopt.
Here face al wet from tears spillend
Here eyes are red and swollen.
But here heart felt lighten a bit.
She could't breathe again a little
Sometimes a good cry doesn't need to be understand, you
Just let it happend,
so that you heal a little bit, breathe a little bit,
Because tears are there for when you can't sprak because its hurts to much.
Lets the tears flow so the pain and hurt can wash away and make room for Happinez and Joy.
Once in a while a good cry can set you free.
The heart wants what its wants.
But that doesn't mean,
it gets what it wants
The universum gives you what you need
And nog whats you wants.
You are here to learn,
To find your Destiny
To follow your own journey
So even if you want sometimes in life and you won't be getting it
Remember it was not meant for you then.
There are other things people who you will meet, some you met for a reason let go and move on
The all have a rol in your life
But you have the biggest part,
Don't dwel on the whats if how of coulds.
Focus on the what Comes....
Enjoy Every bit Every moment envery time
In the end IT all works out
For those who don't understand why i'am the way i'am
That i live to Wright down my feelings
Because of the pain,grief the hurt the emoties sadness
The moments of Joy Happinez love.
I all wrote it down,
being in nature calms bring me back to myself
So i tell you this..
Read my letters, the Breese murmwerd
Listen to me, the Willow whispers
Heal within , the forest begged
My letters for the ones i love
Dit those who want to know me
A letter from me who i'am were are and become
Just a reminder...
A romance van be killed,
But love....... it can't.
Love lives on
And i'am patient enaugh,
To wait for my happily ever after
Part 2 # the good girl
Always being the good brave girl,
The simple girl who lived next door
The one who was always quiet inviseble and shy.
Always been seen as the girl who was everybody's friend, who was there to help you talkt with you being there for those who needed me.
Never the hot sexy girl who you wanted to kiss hugg and wanted to show to your Friends.
Who took a risk and be bold free and
I've been that girl for so long
Even when i was married i still was the good girl pleases those i loved
Now its time to start Pleasing myself finding out who is am when i stop being the girl next door but becoming the woman Deep within me who wanted te feel Passion lust love crazy sexting