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think

PO# 470458
United States
United States
And then...
December 4, 2018
West Des Moines, United States

These hands have shook.
These legs have wobbled,
And this stomach has turned.
This chest, pounded.
These arms took beatings.
And this hair has been pulled;
This heart, flipped.
This mouth has screamed.
These eyes have blurred.
These bones, bruised.
And this body was broken.

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DARK NIGHT
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PO#470458
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December 3, 2018
West Des Moines, United States

I miss her
The little girl
Running through the grass
Bubbling with laughter

I miss her
The little girl
Playing with her dolls
Not worrying about anything

I miss her
The little girl
Peering up at the sky
Wishing upon stars

I miss me

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BE BRAVE
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PO#470458
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November 29, 2018
West Des Moines, United States

Sitting in the dark,
Her breathing shallow.
Sharp intakes,
Short exhales.
Her eyes flickering.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
She remembers this place.
Her darkness,
Her worst mind.
Inhale.
Exhale.
She takes note of herself.
Her emotions.
Her physical well-being.
She stands.
Shaky.
She brushes herself off.
Stronger.
And she steps forward.
Then, again. And again.
And soon she is running.
She is finding the path.
She opens the door.
And there it is.
Her light. Her happy.
She smiles.
And then...

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STARS
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PO#470458
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August 1, 2018
 

I’m clingy
Because everyone else left.
And you will too.

I’m needy
Because no one has helped me.
And you aren’t helping me now.

I’m ‘dramatic’
Because no one else listens.
And you don’t either.

And you’re only listening now
Because it’s in pretty writing

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SAY HELLO TO SUMMER
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PO#470458
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October 28, 2017
Sioux City, United States

This sadness I feel,
Its clawing its way up.
I feel it grabbing my heart,
Pulling its strings.
I feel it screaming to be let out.

It has broken me over and over.
Wracked my body with tremors,
And covered my face in tears.
It has chipped away at me,
Chipped at all happiness and hope.

I don’t know why its so upset with me, but it is coming again.
Its strong fingers pulling at me,
Its arms slithering around me,
Choking me with grief.

Its here and it has every intention to stay.
To keep me in its cold, constricting embrace.

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MAKE A DIFFERENCE DAY
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PO#470458
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April 29, 2017
 

I would trade
any moment of happiness
I have ever had,
Just to spend on day with you.
One afternoon with you.
Even one hour with you.
Any amount of time with you.
I would trade anything
to see you.
To be able to call you Dad,
One last time.
To tell you I love you,
One last time.
To talk to you one last time.

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STRIPE ME A LOGO
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March 30, 2017
 

I lost him 4 years ago in May...
I lost my friend,
My beloved Father.
The most important man.
And the grief didn't come;
There was sadness of course.
But I never have faced the pain,
Never faced it.
I don't know how.
We were so close,
My family thought I would kill myself.
That I would go silent.
How do I face it...
When I know there is so much pain?
I am lost again
Lost in a rolling sea of confusion and fear.

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STRIPE ME A LOGO
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PO#470458
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March 29, 2017
 

My past is dark
But my future is bright.
Thats why I don't want to change the past
Because without those horrible things
I wouldn't have learned
I wouldn't have grown
I wouldn't have matured
I wouldn't be strong
I wouldn't be caring
I wouldn't be kind
I wouldn't be able to love.
I may have faced the darkest times,
But the brightest future came from that.

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LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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March 28, 2017
 

I can push you away
Or I can hold you close.
I can hurt you
Or treat you with kindness.
I can ignore you
Or I can listen.
But No matter what I do,
You will always be here for me.
And even when I think you're gone,
You are still here.
Helping me.
Guiding me.
Protecting me.
Loving me.
Even when everyone else
Walks away.

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THE KISS
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March 25, 2017
 

All these people,
And it feels like and empty
World.
Empty emotions, expressions,
Promises, discussions.
We are unaware and plaster ourselves to empty connections .
That's why we all feel alone, even though we are surrounded by a sea of people.

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BE THE SPARK IN YOU
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March 21, 2017
 

Anger...
You held it for days,
Nurtured it even.
You were silent and cold
And filled with it.
You said terrible things
Releasing your anger...
On anyone who came near.
On me.
Unwilling to let it go,
An unrelenting grasp.
It took weeks for your white knuckles to soften again.
It took weeks for your heart
To heal.
It took weeks to realize how angry you truly were.

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PHOENIX
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PO#470458
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March 19, 2017
 

They say life is too short to stay mad at someone
But life is too short to be unhappy, as well.
They say life is too short to sit around
But life is too short to miss even the smallest good moments, as well.
They say life is too short for a lot of things
But life is too short to witness everything.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
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March 19, 2017
 

Losing something that is so important to you,
Knowing that you need it to be successful in achieving your dream,
Is the hardest truth that I have had to face.
I want to be a photographer,
A teacher for the Arts.
But I am already losing my sight...Not my way in life...
No, that's too easy...
I am losing my eyes.
The one thing that I love about my body... slowly slipping away.
Before Im 50? Probably
Before Im 40? Most likely
Before Im 30? Maybe
Before I achieve my dream in life? Most definitely...
And no one knows how scary and sorrowful that makes me.

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BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
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March 11, 2017
 

No matter what political status
You hold,
No matter what color your skin is,
No matter what your sexual orientation is,
No matter what your age is,
No matter what your financial status is,
No matter what level of education you have,
No matter what...
Your Opinion matters.
Your voice deserves to be heard.
Don't let anyone tell you differently, no matter who they are.

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ANGEL BREATHING
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March 7, 2017
 

Things change
People, places, thoughts, opinions, stories, dreams, goals, relationships...
A lot of things change
I change... Everyday;
And I accept that.
But sometimes,
Some things don't need to change.
And I accept that too.

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Hurray for Hollywood
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February 21, 2017
 

Pride:
In ourselves,
In our technology,
In our teams
And clubs,
In our organizations,
In our children
And our children's children,
In our family
And friends.
But some are missing.
How about pride in humans?
In diversity,
In kindness
And respect,
In morals
And values,
In candor
And justice?
We all need a little more pride...
In humanity.

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ANGEL OF UNDERSTANDING
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February 20, 2017
 

Loving you,
Caring for you,
Waiting for you,
Talking with you,
Listening to you,
Was hard.
But its always hard
When the person you love
Is broken.
But leaving you?
Forgetting you?
Moving past you?
That was more difficult;
That was everything.. gone.
Building myself up again,
Making me whole again,
Fixing me again,
Because of what you did
To me,
Physically and emotionally,
was the biggest challenge.
That was Hell.

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IN SEASON
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February 9, 2017
 

Hatred...
Is broken love,
A broken heart,
A broken person.
Who can't see past
The anger,
The hurt,
The betrayal.
Maybe all we need
Is a little time,
A little help,
And a little Love.

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LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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February 9, 2017
 

The problems with the world
They affect all of us
From body shaming
To being dishonest.
We all put on a façade,
Hurting others
Because thats what is easiest
To mask our misery.

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DO NOT BE DECEIVED
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PO#470458
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January 31, 2017
 

I never thought this day would come.
You say Forever,
But now I am doubting.
You say you love me,
But then put me down.
You say you care,
But then have me second guessing,
Not just us but myself.
You say you listen,
But then forget.
You say you love me,
Then do everything to prove that wrong.
I said I wouldn't leave,
But then I left.

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LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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January 18, 2017
 

You shot yourself,
You took your life.
You took away your future,
Trying to escape the pain
And, at one point,
I hurt you.
I wasn't nice to you.
None of us were.
Some realized, like me,
And stopped.
Some didn't.
But, I still blame myself;
My actions caused you to pull the trigger.
I will never stop blaming myself.
I will always feel guilty,
There are no excuses.
Maybe it was second grade ignorance, or
Maybe it was the way I was raised.
But that is no excuse;
I didn't even say anything.
I just walked away.
Thats proof,
That actions speak louder than words.
And I will never forgive myself for the part that I took in what made you want to
Aim the gun,
And pull the trigger.

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TIRED EYES
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January 17, 2017
 

We sit here talking over text.
Seeing each other,
In 10 second snapshots.
Debating important topics, over social media.
But do we really talk?
Do we really see each other?
Do we really peacefully debate?
Or do we hide behind a screen in everything we do?
Do we actually take our noses out of our screens to see where we are?
There is a whole magnificent world around us and yet we are stuck in cyberspace.
Maybe its time to have face to face conversations.
Maybe its time we actually look at people instead if their profile online.
Maybe its time we actually speak of problems in person.
Maybe then, problems will get solved.
Maybe then people will be aware.
Maybe then we will live peacefully.
Mayb...

DREAMS
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March 13, 2016
 

I have stumbled
I have failed
I have given up
I have stopped trying
I have stopped caring

I have stopped crying
I have raised
I have succeeded
I have kept on going

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LETTRS GOLDEN
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March 12, 2016
 

The heart was ripped from my chest
The world fell from beneath my feet
Everything turned against me
My soul darkened and got cold
All because he left me
All because he found someone else
Now I don't know my purpose
Now my life has ended
Now my dreams have stopped
Now I am finished

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GO GOLD
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February 24, 2016
 

You broke my heart
And crushed my soul
Everything I dreamed
Ripped at the seams
Now because of you I am a little smarter, a little stronger, and because of me, I am still alive, still  breathing.
That does not forgive the fact that you broke my heart and crushed my soul.

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BLUSHED
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January 20, 2016
 

When its quiet at night
And Not a soul around
Nor a voice to be heard
And its Just me and my thoughts
It gets lonely until I remember
All the good, bad, and in-between
Its what shaped me
And helped me grow
Now I value the quiet nights
No souls around but my own
And no voices heard
Just my own memories

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ORIGINAL
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January 6, 2016
 

The up the meds
Up the therapy
Ask me the same questions:
Hows your mood today?
Do you ever feel like harming yourself?
Killing yourself?
They say the same things:
It gets better
You have had a hard life
Dont worry about anything but you
I used to agree
I was the "perfect patient"

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ORIGINAL
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January 6, 2016
 

My theory:
Bad things happen to make a better end result
Just like the ingredients to a cake
All of it tastes terrible until you mix it together
You just have to wait a while for it

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ORIGINAL
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January 4, 2016
 

My kindness is taken for weakness
My laugh is considered annoying
My heart is said to be too big
My life is apparently too boring
But thats the way I'll keep on living
Because to me its perfect.

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ORIGINAL
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January 3, 2016
 

When you are loved less
You love more
When you laugh less
You make others laugh more
When you are pulled down
You build others up
All because when you have less
You give more so no one will feel less than what they are

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ORIGINAL
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