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Angel Insixiengmay

PO# 636541
United States
United States
“in order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it”
April 12, 2019
 

To all of my past partners

Each of you have done wrong by me
As well as I have done wrong by you
I’ve learned several valuable lessons walking away from our situations and that’s all I’m willing to take
If I haven’t reached out to you it’s because I’m still trying to heal or forget about the things that were said and done by each of you
So please don’t come back for more
All of your chapters in my story came to its end the day I stopped caring

LETTRS 2019 STAMP
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April 8, 2019
 

To my father,

It’s been endless nights trying to find some sort of solution for you since I found out.. but I’ve finally come to terms with the reality of it.
I love you unconditionally, regardless of our horrible past. That being said I will support you no matter how you decide to go about things..
Whether it be treatments to add years onto your life or go about your days like it’s your last.

We’ve walked both roads hand in hand seeing what it does to a person.. unfortunately they have the same outcome. I just want you to know you’ll never have to be alone.. not anymore. No matter what you decide we’ll make the most of our days doing the things you love. We’ll celebrate your life til the ...

LETTRS 2019 STAMP
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March 27, 2019
 

To the friend who became more,

I love you and I want to tell you a thousand times
over... but I know you’ll never feel the same

GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME
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March 19, 2019
 

I’ve fought like hell to get to where I am right now but I am not through yet. One obstacle at a time and the weight is being lifted off my shoulders. Problem by problem and I start to feel whole again. God help me cross the finish line because I’m almost there!

FEEL IT WRITE IT
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March 14, 2019
 

I was there for you during your hard times while I was still navigating through mine, but the difference was .. you left
You weren’t there helping me heal but constantly reminding me that I was the wrong..
I have to start looking out for myself And if that means removing you from the picture... I’m sorry
But I’ll always have a piece of you safely tucked away Incase I want to revisit the memories
With so much love,
Angel

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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February 28, 2019
 

I’m a fool for thinking anyone could love a girl like me .

MAKE YOUR MARK
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February 28, 2019
 

To the friend who became more

I hope when you find another that you’ll remember that I’m the one who led you to her.

MAKE YOUR MARK
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February 18, 2019
 

To whoever needs to hear this

Everyone at some point in their life has felt less than, unwanted, undeserving, unappreciated and so much worse. I have first hand experience with all of that and I want nothing but to help those in that time of darkness.

I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. If you ever feel any of these things or more, please please please reach out to loved ones or even strangers willing to listen. I am one of those strangers. I along with so many others are willing to help you find a happy ending that you deserve.

WHITE CLOCK
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January 30, 2019
 

I know my life doesn’t end here
Things aren’t going as planed
But I know every thing will soon fall into place
Right now this is a test
And this too shall pass
Patience is my only friend

LOVE FOR ALL
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January 24, 2019
 

To any one who needs to hear this,

Never feel the need to prove your worth or your love to someone. If they can’t see it from the start.. stop trying to force them because they never will.
You are worthy.
You are loved.
I promise you.
You don’t need no ones approval but your own.
Accept that and you will be successful.
Don’t apologize for your feelings and for speaking out towards it.
You are one of a kind and some day..
someone will notice.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR
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January 22, 2019
 

And then in a matter of seconds
It happens again...
Things start to slip
People start to fade
Body goes numb
Thoughts are silent

you’re lost

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR
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January 21, 2019
 

Family
Something you’re born into
Strangers you’re told to love and protect because they’ll do the same for you
People who are supposed to help guide you and stand by your side
The only thing that connects all of us is blood..

With the family You were born into You’ve never had any of those things
So my question is.. are they really your family?

You’ve met wonderful souls growing up who achieve all those things and more
But the only thing you don’t share is blood
Could they too be your family?

Asking for a friend

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR
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December 26, 2018
 

To everyone in my life

This has been a tough month..
and I’m sorry for those of you who got the worst end of the stick from me.. please try to understand that I have lost myself. I have lost so much. I’m still trying to figure out how to get  through this holiday season without  my mother.
I understand that it’s no excuse for poor behavior, I do apologize .
I’m trying my very best to keep it together. It’s just hard without my rock. I’m still learning how to do so. All I ask is for you all to be patient with me.
I hope with time I’ll get better and I’ll be better but for now please let me be miserable in peace.

2019
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December 25, 2018
 

To my precious angel

today was harder than most
I tried my best to keep myself together at work but..
I just couldn’t get myself to stop thinking of you

I wish I could see the look on your face after telling you all my accomplishments in these past couple of months
I wish you could hold me in my
time of need
I wish for so much from you..

The only thing keeping me together is knowing you’re at peace
So rest easy my love and a special merry Christmas to you
Two years gone but never forgotten
I love you..

2019
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December 12, 2018
 

p.s. I love you

MERRY CHRISTMAS
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November 28, 2018
 

My toxic trait is being drawn to damsels in distress, wanting to heal their wounds rather than deal with mine
I have a huge heart for others and I wish nothing but the best for all
Hoping to save them from similar pains that I have gone through in the past
Most days I see it as me growing from my issues along side those who need me
Almost like a sense of achievement having saved them
But then there are those darker days where I wonder... if I’m doing all the saving, who is going to save me?

THE BEST IS YET TO COME
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November 15, 2018
 

To the friend who became more

they’re training me to be a bartender, I’m speechless .
I thought to tell you because it was a dream we had talked about and it’s finally coming true .

you weren’t wrong when you told me to surround myself with positive people and positive energies .
cause all I’m getting in return is overwhelming joy and success!

it’s because of you I got to where I’m at.
without your guidance and encouraging words I would’ve never made it this far.
you believed in me every step of the way, knowing I could do great things without even realizing it myself..
and for that, thank you .

I hope god is treating you well and giving you all that you deserve .
still wishing yo...

STAN LEE
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November 7, 2018
 

for once in my life I finally feel.. enough
I’ve realized that me feeling less than was from letting peoples opinions guide my thoughts and emotions
so I never accepted who I was
but as of late I stopped listening to others because it didn’t matter how they viewed me as long as Im okay with who I am and how I view myself
Let me tell you.. right now
I’m lookin pretty damn good

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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October 24, 2018
 

To the friend who became more

the night you found out a new man has touched what was once yours
was the night you whispered sweet nothings to me and those were the most deadliest ones of all

For the fact that I didn’t know what was true and not knowing was the worst of it
how could I have known that what you were doing was trying to keep me under your spell and from finding a new spark
just stringing me along til you found what you were looking for in someone else
I wanted all of you but you didn’t want a single piece of me

You see with the words you spoke and the actions you had shown, they didn’t add up
Leaving me confused, feeling used and abused
But it’s my fault for giving you a pl...

WHITE CLOCK
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October 16, 2018
 

To the friend who became more

in two days it’ll  be the day we said we’d decide which direction our relationship was going to go If we decided to make one of our fling..
But we had already let ourselves destroy what could have been
with our craving for company not realizing that it wasn’t our time and that we both needed time.

here’s to us and all the good memories we get to share
I hope every decision you make leads you to happiness and a greater love for yourself
Please know I want nothing but the best for you and so much more because you truly deserve it

I finally understand what I felt and why I no longer need too.
So this is to letting you go

WHITE CLOCK
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October 4, 2018
 

To the friend who became more

I’ve picked up a very bad habit from you..
When ever someone tries to get close to me I start to push them away.
I’m too scared to let myself find love again, after the damage you have done.
I’m afraid to give any one my all because every time I did, they left.
My heart can only handle so much.
I’m doing my very best to find my footing again, just right now it’s very hard.

THE EDISON BULB
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September 26, 2018
 

To the one who gave birth to me

I don’t know where to begin..
No child should have to sit there and hear the things you say or have said to me.
You continuously choose to burn the bridge I continue to rebuild with you because you’re my mother and I feel like I owe you some sort of relationship. But here you are again showing me that you don’t even care to have one if it interferes with your star child.
I chose to forgive you time and time again so that I could move on with my life without all the emotional damage you have left me with.
I hoped and  prayed that the next time would be different but it never was..
it never is.
So I’m a fool for running back to you..
in hopes that one day y...

HELLO AUTUMN
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September 22, 2018
 

To the friend who became more

I’m not as sad as I once was, nor am I angry.
but maybe it’s just one of the better days because I know... with just one look, I’ll be back.
I’ve been filling my days with several different activities to keep myself busy. for the fear that I might let myself go again and there’s  not a time or place for that right now.
our memories are still so real, along with the feelings. one day you’ll see a letter here addressed to you with the words “I have finally understood why I felt what I did and why I no longer need to feel this pain any longer. So here’s to letting you go.”
someday.
take care of yourself.

BE KIND
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September 19, 2018
 

To the friend who became more

I hate you.
I hate myself.
I hate us.

I hate how you weren’t 100% honest with me.
I hate how unsure you were when it came to me.
I hate how you kept pulling me in.
I hate that you kept pushing me away.

I hate that I let myself think it was okay to be second.
I hate how long it’s taking me to get over this.
I hate how much I’ve opened up to you.
I hate how I convinced myself that the way you were treating me was okay.
I hate that despite all of this, I still fell in love with you.

But most of all.. I hate how we let ourselves ruin us.

BE KIND
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September 17, 2018
 

To the friend who became more

I thought because we were  friends first you’d be more gentle with my heart and take great care of it.. but it was because we started as friends you decided to take advantage of the fact that you knew I’d always forgive you and id always have a place in my heart for you no matter what wrongs you have done me. all the wrongs you have and continue to do to me.. but no more.

So from the bottom of my heart, fuck you.

BE KIND
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September 14, 2018
 

A letter to you

the dark grey clouds from the storm you created have been drifting off. but with every look, you feed the beast. so the clouds they keep getting bigger following me as I go.. pulling me in. almost to remind me that what we had WAS real. for us, it wasn’t our time. thus creating this storm.
but like I’ve told you before I am no storm chaser. so I must go to a happier place, where the sun always shines and the moon is always smiling at me.
hopefully someday we’ll be under the same sky.

NEVER FORGET
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September 11, 2018
 

To the boy I fell out of love with

I can’t imagine what pains are creeping through your body now a days.
I want to take the pain away so you don’t have to feel it, any of it.
God has been putting so much on you and all I want to do is hold you close.
The only way I know how to be there for you is to listen.. but how do you listen to someone who doesn’t want to talk..
Several sleepless nights later, I have come to realize if what ever you decide to do helps you feel at peace in the end .. I have to let you make that decision on your own and understand why you felt what you did.
all I can do is be here for you when you need me. please for the love of god need me...because I can’t lose you t...

NEVER FORGET
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September 5, 2018
 

Exactly 4 years ago today I wrote a letter. One that no parent, sibling, or friend would want to find. And with that letter came a very dark time.. one that strengthen me.

“To whom this may concern,
The girl you once saw so happy captured in those photos, is no longer here. She’s gone. There was no reason for her to stay. She turned to so many to find help... but no one was there. No one could help her. She’s gone. She couldn’t stay. There was no home for her. There was no love for her. There was no family for her. Then it got to her. If there was nothing there then why stay.
So this is goodbye.”

I share this with you all now because i have truly healed and it’s a part of my story that I...

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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September 5, 2018
 

To whoever will listen

Is it bad to think about death as much as I do?
How much is too much?
How much is unhealthy?
Because it honestly sounds so inviting.

GREAT THINGS
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September 3, 2018
 

To the boy I fell out of love with

I can tell some days are darker than most. The words “it’ll be okay” or “things will get better” are engraved in your head, but it’s the last thing you want to hear.
To take the pain away you escape through your own version of healing. The things you share with the world is you screaming for help behind masculine words...
I may not be in love with you but, I still love you. With that, I still worry about you.
Now I don’t believe in God but for your sake .. I pray to God every day to ease up on the life lessons before he breaks you so far to the point of no return.
If words aren’t what you need right now that’s okay. If all you need is someone to listen,...

MAKE IDEAS HAPPEN
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