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Anushiie

PO# 391382
India
India
19. Law student. Write so you find your exact self.
July 5, 2019
 

He tries to find her inside the cupboard
just like when they used to play hide and seek
he has been catching on her habits after she's been gone
for he hides there too
but nobody tries to find him
until one morning, when the sweeper couldn't ignore the smell in the room
crutching over his knees tightly,
even in his last moments tied to hers.

-by Anushri Chaturvedi, Anuj Dasgupta

VISIONS
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July 3, 2019
 

Edible Lessons

i think i am trying to swallow lessons without thinking about whether I like them as eatables or not.
Sometimes you have to eat spinach because it's friendly to your health, but first you've to look at it and accept that it's a spinach and it tastes a particular way, chewing it bit by bit.

That's what brings you truth,
and some tooth for a taste in bitter vegetables.

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WORLD WATERCOLOR MONTH
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July 3, 2019
 

I have learnt here that to remind yourself of your own passing time, a mirror is essential.

In my reflection I will see myself moving and only that way i would be conscious of the limitations of the physical body.

Death, the common destination, something that unites us.

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BHAVYA SINHA
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July 3, 2019
 

“What a curse is it to have someone who makes you dream wildly and then makes you feel like dreamers don't belong.”

DARK NIGHT
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July 3, 2019
 

“Go and re-conquer the kingdom that has grown corrupted by routine”

WORDS OF WISDOM
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July 3, 2019
 

I was stabbed;
right here, in the heart
With all the feelings that I could
barely sort.
The ability to pen my thoughts had simmered,
As all the ink dripped out, drop by drop
From my punctured heart.

Blinded by the love I loved the most,
I realised happiness does come at a cost.
As I nursed the gaping hole in my chest
I wondered
if it's possible to gather my zest.

As these thoughts bounced around in my skull
Forming a prefect cacophony for me to mull
I made a conscious decision...
a decision to rise
Displaying all my scars with pride, grace and poise.

-Dill

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GOLDFISH LOVE
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July 3, 2019
 

That very morning when Samara was picking bells in the ornated Christmas store which had large trees with polychromatic bulbs and jingles tucked even on the wall sides, the rain which had prolonged its stay in the sky for a long time had finally decided to arrive on the face of the city.

And in the middle of one roar of the sky, Samara had understood that rains were to come in their time only if it were not because of a torment of earth. That very moment, she also knew that harry had arrived before he had to.

The knowledge of that prophecy brought her pain and longings for the sun.

POKA DOT PORTRAIT
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July 3, 2019
 

Every passing day, Samara was confusing reality with her dreams.

She would be tied up in her own bed corner, struggling in her mind to be shaken out of the dream of haunting shadows in a sleeping town where birds on the electric wires whispered.

In the evenings, when she would sit down to write the daily affairs in her pocketbook, she  would think that the last night she had been walking down the red park street, but the one that went straight to nowhere.

And the more she would find discrepancies in reality and her dream, the less she would trust the stability of anything in the world and drag to a doctrine of impermanence.

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POKA DOT PORTRAIT
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July 3, 2019
 

Crippled Book Covers.

And how they whisper to Samara
How they call her to them
As when it rains under the covers
a solace seems to return
at midnight when the lampshade blinks
she wakes to clasp the moist pages
slowly to her naked chest
and march her fingers down the edges
till the tip of them bled.

She leans back to taste the last drops of the downpour,
and cannot help but keep her eyes open
Red and bloody and green and colorless.

Only if book light was enough,
she muses.

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VISIONS
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January 2, 2019
 

When I looked into the deepest chasm inside,
and asked where all the answers to the problems hide,
I saw a figure in a black ride,

The white blinding glanced at me
      ....it did confide;
“Awareness” without a blink it said.

“Awareness, wherever you stride.”
....
....
..,
...

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DARK NIGHT
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January 1, 2019
 

Do you wonder if those eyes that you saw in your house every night, they still watch you from the sky?

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FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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January 1, 2019
 

Born with leopardess eyes, she was kind to ask species without a soul's notice.

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VISIONS
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January 1, 2019
 

Dear Future Me, 
(30 November 2018)

i am just preparing to go to classes tomorrow, wanting to know how i scored, i guess i did well, at the test last Saturday. 
i try to create a mind map, i try seeing everything in tat light, and i have stopped believing in giving too much importance to personal history and attachments. but in practice i am still trying to inculcate these habits, i still have things i am attached to, especially my room and bed and device, and i dislike comfort, but have had a day when i could live without it all, because i could feel the how fleeting everything was, just like a breeze, and i could breathe in constant discomfort, with which i got comfortable. those days, i w...

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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January 1, 2019
 

Sometimes I am miserable, for sometimes I am words.

Sometimes I am cheerful, for in those times I am meaning.

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2019
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December 23, 2018
 

The twenty fifth of December came with smell of snow on the school hall, autumn leaves falling in from spaces in the closed doors.

And Outside of the campus, you had left me a letter. A fabric I wanted to burn at times, at times I wanted to kiss it's pages.

And for the first time, I saw your face, and my skin sipped in red blush and cold,
we were walking down the hill
talking about the places we've been,
about music, dreams,
beaches and books

Christmas to me means this feeling of you, amidst all the fairy tinges,
all the sick cravings of skin I have been through.

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
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December 24, 2018
 

The twenty fifth of December came with smell of snow in the school hallway, autumn leaves falling in from spaces in the closed doors.

Outside of the campus, you had left me a letter. A fabric I wanted to burn at times, at times I wanted to kiss it's pages.

And for the first time, I saw your face,
and my skin sipped in red blush and cold,
we were walking down the hill
talking about the places we've been,
about music and lucid dreams,
beaches and books.

Christmas to me means this feeling of you, amidst all the fairy tinges,
all the sick cravings of skin I have been through,
to feel the presence of us two.

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CHRISTMAS BOUQUET
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December 24, 2018
 

The first of December of 2018,
December, you came around so early, it seems, and yet to have been all around the land, seen different places.
And here you are again, December, the last time i saw you, I couldn't see so many voices i can listen to now, i didn't know so many feelings i know now, i did not know the nature of time, i did not know the nature of temporary.

I was beginning to learn whats and hows of the absurd, and my eyes were fluttering with every what and how that was meaningful. And in this tumbling game of matter, I was passing by and finding my way, when suddenly i drifted to the side with the wind.

When the snow settled, I saw a dim light, vibrating at a different freque...

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR
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December 24, 2018
 

We assume many forms in this world, but our awareness is our truest and first form, first self.  so when you are alone, try staying in the true form and observe, you are not a gender, feeling, thought. but awareness, and still you can enjoy the world.

let your awareness and self talk respond to your reactive self.  When you keep talking and questioning long enough, it will go away, reason and awareness will stay.
Remember, Judgement has subjective requirements.

When you have awareness and truth about existence, you will enjoy the presence of problems to great degrees and will know their importance,
and enjoy finding solutions.

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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December 24, 2018
 

The bus goes downhill and I am here writing myself, when I'm thinking, it's when life is a breeze or storm that it truly matters, this is a thought i entertained in the less growth mindset years of my life.

but now i am beginning to learn, the days that have less contrasting textures, the days we aren't traveling aren't meeting new people, aren't getting any highs from food, tv or phone, those are the days we can spend in building an empire of our own, learning by ourselves, getting to know the world and ourselves.

we need to move on from our attachments and see them and live them in new light. our true presence should move on from fantasy and needs to pure awareness, so even when there a...

LETTRS AND BOOKS
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December 22, 2018
 

IF MY DIARY COULD SPEAK:

“ I am not transcendence in itself, I am a path. I can lead a human to something bigger than itself, and he can choose to continue this path by himself. I am not created by the origin, my creator has been passed the understand, from within and without.
He thinks, therefore I am. ”

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STARS
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December 22, 2018
 

The best work of fiction

The best book written would be the one that fights death the hardest, and the most.
and constantly lingering around life, like nothing ever dies, like nothing will fall like a dying flower plant.

but life is constantly sitting around places, finding itself in the most unexpected places, where humanly choices don't reach in land.

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CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
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December 22, 2018
 

I have lived with feelings that come in suits
these feelings dress up like us,
I have slept with these feelings and
undone the buttons of their shirts
only to touch an empty rib,

These feelings invite me,
to dance with them in the night,
As vulgar as it will be,
But I never knew
these feelings ruin their ties, dirt their shoes
Letting me in through the night
only to lead me to the ribcage
of heart break.

(P.S. Men with suits often forget about the knives in drawers)

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VISIONS
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December 21, 2018
 

I know it's wrong,
I know it's sinful
but just sometimes I feel like breaking the rules

I know that's not how you humans live,
but just sometimes I feel like
asking someone a forever.”

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TIME OF GIFTS
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December 16, 2018
 

DIARY ENTRY OF A GIRL

...perhaps i should write about the music i listen to and the books and articles i read, casually, simply.

14 of December,
around 5am .
why should i write about that?
because they are simple likings of a simple girl, although i am growing to be of the belief,  ... not belief.
How do I say this?
One must move on from his personal history, but this is what most humans' meaning is made of.
If one wants to truly submit to work, to the world in its endeavours towards development, one should slowly move forward from one's personal history.
I am a learner, and do not yet wish to form a destination to go to, but still have the awareness that I have to work, which is the true...

MOVING
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December 27, 2016
Raipur, India

Dear Anushiie,
This is almost the end of the year
.
.
.
I'm miles away from you, but what's meant to be is meant to be, can we change it?
I don't know why these things happened, but it has some reason.
I miss you so much, you know what, this is a very strange city, and the people here are still strangers for me.
It's been hard afterall, you know, these things. But i made it somehow, it was not easy, it is hard leaving things to which you are so attached to.
I just hope and wish, May you be happy wherever you are, this is an extremely important year for both of our lives, so we have to make the most of it, i wish you a very happy2017.
Love you.

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GOLD
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June 10, 2016
 

#Our story (2/2), The Drive.

In the time you were riding us past the sickgreen and dark woods, we spilled out little secrets streaked with the lose earth under us that seeped up with a tingling cold creeping up our legs . The wind roared by our sides as we rode, brushing itself against our crinkling eyes and lushy hairs.
That was the time, love. We experienced the first sweet mossgreen smell of winter of the year together.
After all of it is has long slipped from us,  the time when the school hallway will seem to be a little lonelier and the little things will begin to sit a little differently in their places, when a sudden and strange feeling of saudade has long hollowed us, and loss of i...

ORIGINAL
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June 5, 2016
 

She allowed herself to be known for a story she did not believe, she let the ones who knew it flood with the conviction that her love for Harry was that of the moon and the ocean. And it went like this: They knew a part of each other every night,and one withered and grew outrageous to touch the face of the other, rumbling as it came forth, but falling back in lump of shallowness over and over again. She often sat by herself in the garden of unveiling thoughts that lingered around her like the annoying colour zeals she saw on the premiere of The evening of us, and she knew it from the very first time what will be of her if she allowed the unsteadiness to gather around her the way it did. But a...

LETTRS CHALK
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May 5, 2016
 

Hey,

Apologies, I was away on a pilgrimage with family that kept me off letters for the entire week. Returned this afternoon after an exhaustive yet exhilarating trip. And am now overjoyed and on top of the world to find this letter for me in my mail box from my favorite writer!

Why thank me?!
I would take every opportunity to worship thee even, although it would seem like an indulgent predilection. For, you write with an aura my praise can't glorify.

It was no pain but a pleasure writing to you. To squeeze the joy out of my heart onto the paper in an ode of gratitude on reading your redeeming words.

Dear,
You have a wonderful gift but more importantly a beautiful responsibi...

ORIGINAL
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April 26, 2016
 

Dear me,

First of all, congratulations, you made it till the 16 year today.
You're so far from me, and at times I think don't know what you are, but I swear you look disastrously  beautiful today. There's something about you and the time; both seem to be in harmony since you began to see. But you know, nothing lasts forever; no wrap of zeal, no enrapture of thought, not a shadow of happy crinkling eyes stays till the death of light on earth.  But today, don't you dare lose a word; let the universe you've been a swallower of, speak for you. Let your heart tell you how wonderful a thing you are, for it knows you've crossed oceans deep and mountains high, you've left exuberance with the touch...

STRIPE ME A LOGO
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