My 4th step in AA...
For keeping her from me for so many years
Checked all check Mark's on it
For not seeing her the times I could
Checked all but sexual relations on this one
For his failure to be a father, sexual abuse, addiction and etc
Checked all checks in all columns
For keeping me from my dad and letting jeremy watch us again after the 1st sexual abuse
All columns checked
For everything abuse, forcing sex after abuse, mental abuse, taking my money, making me have abortion, taking my family from me
All columns checked
Jossalin, my daughter
For the things she did and said
All columns except sexual relations checked
For her part ...
Have you ever wondered why people lie over the craziest things
Unaware what their lie brings
All to look like something they're not
Eventually to be put on the spot
Be yourself what do you have to lose??
And if you can't be yourself??
Finding yourself will be a challenge
Because yourself will no longer be in sight
Once you lose yourself be ready for a battle that is the hardest you will ever fight.
Some never come back
All for an image that is completely whack....
BE TRUE TO THY SELF
A TRUTH WORTH LIVING...
Life in a nut shell
We perceive them as being cursed
Or as being blessed
Could it be that peace is ours if that's how we choose to feel?
Or we can cry as if our glass of milk was spilled
Think positive, rise and overcome all obstacles.
Painted to be a monster
By my own daughter
Brainwashed by her dads family
Who kept her from me
But told her I didn't want her
All cause I didn't want him
The storm and its thunder
Jehovah God hear my pleads
Help me stay strong
I need you now more than ever
I often wonder if I'll ever be completely healed
Leaving me to think what is the deal
I believe I'm damaged goods
Some say I am just a fool
Others say I'm such a breath of fresh air
But I feel like I'm sinking into despair
Is it our body who heals so grand
Our mind who believes it does
Or possibly our creator who loves us all
Problems in my marriage
Were causing me such discourage
But a simple prayer
Has been a success
Our love restored beyond compare
A repair to endure
For love restored
Jehovah God gets all the glory
A success story
Thank you Jehovah, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit with in who keeps my faith strong.
Nothing shall end our love
Who would have thought?
Restored beyond what I sought
Lies, lies and more lies
And I expected this time with this man to be different
The definition of insanity
What is love?
Why is this word so misused?
Why is it so misunderstood?
In the Bible it is plain as day to what it is meant to be.
Yet it is still thrown around like lust.
I often wonder when love will no longer be a must.
The world is feeling with hate.
True love is becoming just a myth......
He asks me do I remember him
The answer is no
He isn't the same man I married
Truth be told
Who I thought he was has faded
Who he is has began to truly show
They say with every forgiveness to a man
He loves you more
But with every forgiveness from a woman
The love becomes more distant
Once he can't live without you
You can't live with him
How unfair the balance truly is.
He does the things he does and wonders why I'm upset
Let me disrespect
The same way
And see what he has to say
The wooded area where many bird's nest are home to many baby birds you usually hear the Bird's sing a melody that seems to bring a peaceful tranquility to the forest but today smoke fills the area and fear to many baby birds is the melody the fire brings.
Endure and overcome
Take a lot
And give some
Are you ready for that battle that needs to he fought?
Strength without the man above is minut
With Him it is grandeur
So many thoughts enter my head
Can I get them all out before I end up dead?
God uses us all in different ways
Messages pour out trying to round up the ones led astray.
How to reach them all?
How many of us know our God given path?
Blessings to come or suffer the Devil's wrath?
As I look around at what is going on in the world
A fear enters my body that I can't ignore
Thoughts of Revelations
Thoughts of the end
Is it closer than we want to believe
What is alive in your imagination?
Warning signs is what I believe Jesus and Jehovah are trying to send
Start thinking about preparing for a time of no freedom
Where the government tells us when to stay or if we can leave
Time to learn the land like the Indians
It may be our only way sooner than we think
Or take the mark of the beast and seal a date that nobody truly wants to meet
What is our purpose here on Earth?
Less than half of us don't even know our own worth!
The universe's mysteries,
Or could it be we are in our own way
Causing utter misery!?!
Just maybe it's right in front of our very eyes to see!
Why don't we try loving each other?
Instead of tearing down one another!
Food for thought!!!!!
Just because I'm a success in soberiety doesn't mean life doesn't come at me on it's terms
It only means I have found a healthy way to deal with it on my terms
Together we live in a peaceful harmony
In utter serenity
2 ways to look at this paper
Someone breaking into pieces
Or being restored after a painful journey
Today I am thankful that my story is helping others who struggle
That is the whole point of Alcoholics Anonymous
Light at the end of the tunnel
Living a life in torment wasn't done in vain
As long as I give hope to even one person
Gratitude is surely mine to gain
Would I change one thing
Not at all
I had to fall and feel the sting
To rise again and and overcome what I thought to be my demise
Jehovah God and Jesus Christ the savior's in my life
I'm keeping my eyes on the prize
Definitely worth every ounce of pain
No matter what comes my way
I have learned to dance in the rain
There is still rays of sunshine that break thru the dark clouds
I'll be just fine
I no longer ha...
I have went from a life not worth living
To a life more than meaningful
From bondage in addiction
To freedom in Jehovah God and Jesus Christ
From feelings of being cursed
To blessings after blessings
From a life of rebellion
To a life of obedience
I do not regret my past
Without it I wouldn't have learned the greatest lessons in life
It has opened my eyes to beauty, peace, joy, happiness, as well as, real inner peace
Without knowing ugliness, turmoil, sadness, betrayal, abandonment and fear
This world I now know wouldn't even be appreciated, loved nor would I be grateful to live in it and I would still be blind to what the world truly has to offer us
WE ARE INTERTWINED IN THIS WORLD AT A ...
When 2 people overdose in your house at the same time one dies. As I saved my boyfriend my friend died. I already looked at life differently and when he died from heroin overdose in my house I was then in shock trying to process it all day crying myself to sleep, finally, that night, till I was just dozing off and a knock on my door as the door opens a voice that made me spring up and run in there hitting him telling him but you was dead. He said, "another 2 mins and I would have been they screwed something in my leg and shot narcane in my leg to my bone marrow that's how dead I was." Now the difference in life I viewed than others just went up a few more notches. The day after this event he ...
The Betrayal in the Dishonesty
Maybe one day u will sit back and understand what it is that bothers me so much about the situation at hand. The question is will it be too late then? Did u ever think that one of the reasons I fell in love with u was because of the crucial honesty I thought was a character trait of urs? Did u ever think that now with that trait now gone I dont look at u the same? Did u ever think that ur closed mindness is giving me regret n resentment towards u and our marriage? Now because of my love for Jehovah God I am forced to be in a marriage that I have to uphold to be obedient to Jehovah. To show him my love for him I'm willing to now be in a marriage that to me isn't...
True love is real
Boy it feels so surreal
Married under God's name
Our love for Jehovah and His son,
Jesus Christ, are equally the same
Together are souls are now one
It seems to be so much fun
Reality sinks in as u realize
Looking deep into each other's eyes
Every decision I make affects both you and I
Every decision u make affects me and you
Dreams do come true
And we both said I do
Time to buckle up and enjoy life's ride
No giving up no matter how you feel inside
We have to remember love conquers all
So the devil can never win any attempts to make us fall
Thank you God
All Glory to you
We will beat all odds
Your love is true.
What is love?
From the man above
But here on Earth it's as if it's null
Does God bring us our blessings
So our hearts can soar
Like a Lions roar
I've heard him call on me
If I deny him
Is my soul going to be the fee
Do I really want to stand on the rim?
Looking over the rail
I see myself being tormented down in hell
As I change my view
I look up
And see myself born again brand new
Is that something I want to give up
Everyone looks so beautiful
As they dance in the clouds forever more
In the end I'd rather be knocking on Heaven's door
Living in eternal life
Instead of living in sin
Why don't you just make me your wife
Than we both win
Living in His...
I've put my past where it belongs
Thanks to that my heart no longer longs
I'm writing a better story
Only thing is in this one God gets all the Glory
I've found true love
Thanks to the man up above
He promises he will never leave you nor forsake you
This, now, I know is true
He brought me you
Our love will be legendary this you know
Let's show the world what God did for 2 addicted sinners
Let's give it a go
And show the world with God anyone can be winners
Dedicated to my love
And the Glory goes to God for bringing me a man that treats me like a queen, a man who puts God 1st, and loves him just as much as me, we call it equally yoked...