To someone that changed everything.
I thought it was her eyes. The way she looked at me like no one had before. Her hazel gaze washing over my skin like a tide, willing me to be pulled out to sea...and I surrendered. Or maybe it was the way she caught my eye from across the room, understanding my deepest thoughts before I even knew they existed. And in that moment, we stood alone.
I thought it was the way you bit your lip when you were nervous, or how you pulled at the rips on your jeans when you were scared. But it was neither of these things.
It could have been the touch of your cold, pale skin as you held my thigh under that kitchen table, my heart racing, my ears ringing. Or the way yo...
Im starring at her now.
She is dark; relentless. I'm terrified of what she's capable of. But I know it's not her fault, time has not been kind to her.
I see her now. She's struggling, fighting, drowning. I want to help but there's nothing I can do. I try to keep my distance but I care too much to let her implode.
Shes present but not. Lost in a world she calls her own, but knows deep down it's not where she should be. She's on her knees, praying? Crying? Dying?
She see's me now, she has caught my eye. Oh I wished this moment wouldn't come. The light shines over my shoulder and reflects back into my eyes.
I wish me and she did not share the same reflection.
Sometimes I struggle to find words that are profound enough to portray the passion I try to express in my writing. Right now, the allegory in my writing is due to my complete despair for the world we are trying to thrive in. Look around you. Our world is subdued by utter ignorance, xenophobia, sexism, discrimination and so many more soul shattering things that I cannot start listing for fear of wasting away in the mean time. Without directly mentioning the 'orange agent' and his team of uneducated imps, acts such as his are happening all over the world but fail to gain the media attention due to lack of fake tan and political publicity persuasion. Without rambling on, let us ask ourselves one...
I deemed it necessary to share some words given it was recently international women's day.
Im proud to be a woman. Proud that the sex between my thighs provides a strength and resilience in me that only other women can feel, that my body curves in ways that allow me to create life within me, that my entire life is filled with adversity and doubt and people questioning my intelligence and my artistic potential and my expression of myself and my virtue and honor because I am too much woman. I am proud that I get to prove them all wrong. I am proud that I have to work even harder for it. I was raised to feel that I can do ANYTHING, and I will always believe that. I am proud to feel the whole s...
Her presence is more like a shadow,
she wears her fortitude with Sunday sighs
and listens to the way the wind tells tales,
with something far away in her eyes.
I feel shamefaced for her shocking secrets
always loving the turn and the weaving,
flying towards and away from
the soft call of her breathing.
This chase for the chaste changes
after a devious drive with windowed eyes;
It showed the sound of hoof beats,
binding wild horses gallop with benign lives
and pushed me to the places
where to stop was to be caught looking,
with something far away in my eyes.
~To the person I was at the end of last year~
I know you're anxious about what the coming year will bring- bur don't be. I'm here to tell you that everything turns out okay...and by that I do mean okay- not amazing or anything. Spoiler alert: the person you're missing doesn't come back, your life problems don't magically fix themselves and you don't end up with the life you always dreamed of by December...but you are okay.
In fact, by the end of the year - you're a little wiser, a little happier and a little stronger than you are right now. You won't be on top of everything yet, but you will finally recognise that the inner strength that you used to have was merely a sleeping dragon that i...
My mind went blank,
I willed it to rest,
As I felt his grip upon my chest.
I wasn't myself, my eyes were bleak,
My head was numb, my arms were weak.
I did not will this, I prayed for an end,
But his conscience had left him, he would not bend.
My life was altered-it changed my direction,
I knew not who looked back from my reflection.
What he took I will never get back,
I thought my mind would always be black.
To his demise this was not so,
For from this I'm determined to grow.
I do not profess that it won't take time,
For even the stars must learn how to shine.
But there is but a person to whom I owe my life,
Someone who guides me through all my strife.
To all the women who forg...
The night has ended and the sun is rising!
As many of you may know, my positive energy is something I always try to project throughout my life but these last couple of months have been difficult.
I have struggled with trying to find my true self and understand my purpose, and eventually got myself into a whirling vortex of confusion and desperation. I simply lost my way, as many of us do. I lost all hope in my prayers and my faith; everything just seemed so nonsensical.
God does not sent us a task that we are not able to conquer. I have such a strong support group around me, with people I love and cherish so much. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. We all come o...
Im struggling with myself a lot lately, hence my absence.
For me, finding the good in everyone around me is instinct yet I can't seem to find it in myself. Im trying to find the silver lining like I always do but all I see is grey.
I know its okay not to be okay, but this is not who I am. I try to live my life as a light but my flame has blown out.
I know this will subside but right now this is my reality and I am finding it difficult to see God's intention.
Ill be back soon, promise.
Emotions are running high this week, as all my exams finally finish and results begin to loom.
I want everyone who is in this exhausting position to know that, grades aren't everything. Don't let letters on a page define what path you take in life.
God designs our pathways to take the jolts and turns that he believes we can deal with. Do not give up. If you are presented with a brick wall remember that it is never high enough that you can't climb it with a bit of faith.
Do not let yourself be disheartened if you do not get what you want or expected, the best things in life take time and perseverance.
Always remember, you are who you allow yourself to be. You are as good as ever...
Please everyone, take the time to read this. Something needs to change.
'Boys will be boys'
You tell her to cover up, modesty has become expected! The exposing of female parts so inherently rejected, but that’s cool right? Because she’s just a girl. Her feelings don’t really matter, held to a certain standard, created not by herself, but the world. That collarbone, ‘oh no! It’s too much!’ And ‘don’t let them see your knees’! She’s practically begging for it, can’t you see?
‘Self respect’ and the ‘inability to cover up’, two incoherent meanings somehow fused together by modern society. I look into her eyes and see everything she wants to say but she sits, quiet. She d...
As I am sure this is relevant to many of you, my exam finals begin next week and honestly I am terrified.
Despite us having worked ourselves to the bone we somehow manage to convince ourselves that our best is never enough. We can't think like this.
I have grown up with a saying from my grandmother ' What is for you, will not pass you' and I believe this is relevant in this case. We must remain confident in the work we have done, and pray that God helps us down this stifling path.
Do not loose hope friends. If things do not go our way, it is not the end of the world.
'When God closes the door, somewhere he opens a window' - Maria Von Trapp
I wish all of you every success and...
Why must we love in such a manner,
That we no longer are self-suffice?
Blinded by the vice around our desperate hearts,
We long for someone to take our rights.
We watched such women go before,
That crossed the line of a split world,
For us to squander their life long work just by saying, 'I do.'
Why can't women such as we live a fulfilling existence, with herself as her better half?
Looming in Shame as many speculate as to why she is not to wed.
I am but a girl who wishes all girls,
Could love themselves as much as they long to be loved.
Be your own lighthouse.
My heart honestly aches for the people of Belgium at this tragic time.
Coming from Northern Ireland my people have experienced such effects of freedom fighting resulting in innocent deaths. It is something that me and my people today still feel the hurt from.
All we can do right now is pray. Pray that God carries the souls of these innocent people to a better place. Pray for this terrorism and injustice to end once and for all. Pray that all of us can live in harmony regardless of race,religion, age,weight or sexual orientation.
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.
Heaven has gained many angels. Rest in Peace. 💜😔
Sometimes we let our emotions get the better of us, myself being the cardinal offender. We over think situations, stew away in our abundance of 'what if’s' and 'why’s', when it really does not console anyone; especially ourselves.
Life throws us curve balls to test our strength and improve our character. Sometimes, these curve balls can knock us off our feet when we are least expecting them. It is at these times that we need to remember all the reasons we have to get up, dust ourselves off and stand taller and stronger than we did before.
It is okay to ask for a helping hand, no one ever reached the top on their own. Even Jesus needed 12 men to help him along the way. Nobody ever said...
I am but as much use as a boat that leaks to a sailor. I have been broken so many times before, I fear I will never be mended. Nobody wants the girl who cries herself to sleep, who constantly needs reassuring, who is scared of breaking things she can't fix.
I was not always like this. I use to be the girl who was full of hope, the girl who strived for everyones dreams to become realities including her own. He broke me. He broke me in ways I didn't think I could be broken. Left me clawing at the edge of my sanity. Eventually I will drop. And maybe it will be for the best. Or perhaps I will climb back over and dust myself off. But right now, I am going to dangle here a little longer because th...
How is it that throughout the day my mind is blank, yet now when I will it to rest, it does anything but?
I find myself oblivious to the world around me. Staring into a blank space as if it holds the key to me release. Yet now, lying in this lonely bed, my mind runs from me.
Replaying everything in concise detail to the point that I feel I've lived the moment again. Both bad and good.
Please God, spare some rest for the weak. I can't bare to relive my mistakes every single night. Show some mercy.
Sometimes, we all need gravity to pull us back down to where we are suppose to be.
We become oblivious to the reality that it is just you in this world. The only person you can truly count on is yourself.
So, as you glare into the mirror think to yourself 'I will' instead of 'I might.' 'I can' instead of 'I'm not sure.' 'Ill do it today!' instead of 'Perhaps tomorrow.'
Seize every moment life gives to you. I know it isn't easy when you feel like an insignificant spec on an infinite universe but remember, you only get on life; utilise every moment.
'If not us, who? If not now, when?' Live and learn. Every day is a new beginning. Write your own happily ever after.
I am waving, waving,
Small in the clouds, but waving, waving.
Does anyone see
a soul worth saving?
So when will you come?
Do you think you are watching, watching
a girl having fun
or pegging out washing?
I am trying and trying.
The voices inside me are bullying, driving,
but the white of surrender is not yet flying.
I am not at the point of leaving, diving.
Are your eyes believing,
that here in the gills
I am still breathing.
But tiring, tiring.
The voices inside are wailing, firing.
My body is numb and my nerves are sagging.
Do you see me, my love? I am failing, flagging.
I feel it die a little bit every second. My brain slowly coiling into itself; an attempt to escape from the very thoughts it is producing. I wish I could escape: run away from it all. But how do I run away from myself? I can’t simply turn around and leave it all behind, I can’t hide from my own shadow.
I feel myself imploding, obliterating everything inside. Self destruction of drastic proportions. I am getting use to the numbness; a sensation I wish not to become immune to. I am persistently exhausted, but I can’t sleep. Broken but I can’t cry. Angry but I can’t scream. I’m numb, oblivious to the chaos around me. The everyday battle to force my eyelids open, my head to stop poundin...
As I run my finger back down the path, I try to see where it all went wrong.
My pale finger bends around the curves I have over-come; the hurdles I have stumbled over. It runs along the smooth paths of my childhood, down the streams we played in, over the fields we ran in, down the valleys we lay in.
Soon I am at the start of the map and I realise nothing went wrong at all. Your journey is what makes you, you. Every time you fall, you get back up stronger. Don't look for errors in your past, use it to shape your future.
'Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you.'
Sometimes we all need to just take a moment. Just one; a moment to gather up the pieces and remember where they need to go.
We spend so much of our time working, rushing, studying, stressing, pushing our bodies to the point of vanquishment.
So just take a moment. Breathe. Feel your heart in your chest and listen to it! Listen to it call for the ones you love, the things you love, the places you love; and go.
Your body is a temple and your occupation is short lived. Make the most of it. Time you enjoyed wasting was not time wasted.
Happy new year guys x
As he walks to the gate of the New Year the young man looks out ahead of him; darkness.
He begins to panic. I have no light, no torch, no lamp. How do I descend into the darkness on my own?
Just then, he felt a soft, delicate hand slip into his, along with a voice from the heavens, ' Take Jesus' hand dear child, for his guidance is greater than any light, any torch, any lamp. He will guide you down the path that you are destined to take, as long as you remember to never let go.'
Let Jesus guide you through the dark my friends 💕
It is not my fault yet I seek redemption,
Begging to be forgiven for a sin I had no control over.
Bowing down to my looming Shame I can find no other solution.
I could not run. I could not speak. Yet my soul departed some time before.
How can something so concise be so labyrinthine? I may never know. But what I can say is that I can no longer run from my thoughts.
Please someone cleanse my hands before I perish.
Isn't love such a bizarre concept? That one person can take you to complete Nirvana by simply being present. Yet others can make you spiral to the depths of despair; all because of their character. We as people have such an unimaginable power over each other and we don't even know it! Just by looking at someone you can literally stop their heart from doing it's only job, for just a second. By holding someone close for a moment you could make their mind process their entire day differently. Think of that power, and use it for the better; it's what we are made for.
As the sun splits the trees and my eyes begin to squint, I feel the rush of warmth through my body and wish for a cold bust of rain to sooth my scortched skin. As the rain pounds the pavement and seeps through my clothes I wish for the beating sun to bring me to float.
We never appreciate what we have until it is gone and we want it back. Live in the moment and appreciate every breath in your lungs.
I'm standing in a crowded room yet all I hear is my slow breath augmenting the air around me. I listen to your conversations but I don't hear what you're saying. I'm present yet I'm gone, lost in a place that is yet to have a name. A place that I can't decide if I love or hate. Is there a difference? Should I care? Or should I listen to my heart beat drum in my ears for just a little longer? Perspective my friends.
I just want to say how happy I am America has finally decided to follow in the footsteps of Ireland and allow equal marriage in all 50 states. Everyone deserves love, Everyone deserves happiness and everyone deserves equality. Its the 21st Century, its about time we as a generation realise that we are as good as everyone and better than no one. #LoveWins
“It is neither wealth nor splendour; but tranquillity and occupation that give you happiness” - Thomas Jefferson.
My happiness - comes as a result of the simplest things in my life. I don’t need anything extravagant to please me, rather the opposite.
For me happiness comes from waking up on a crisp Saturday morning, having no particular place to be for any particular reason. Rolling over on my side, I check my phone. 9am. As I clamber out of bed, I pull my red dressing gown tight against my shivering skin and shove my feet into my worn out harry potter slippers. Shuffling to the kitchen, I fill the kettle preparing for my first of many cups of coffee. My warm mug cl...