|I'm something of a mixed bag with much of my talent in most things creative - though my main areas of interest are writing and photography.|
In Her Room
We are in Her room. She is seated at Her vanity mirror, applying Her make up.
i stand back a way, the angle that i stand at offers a good view of what She is doing and my eyes drift down to her bare neck.
"Please, Mistress" i force out the words, fearing Her rejection of my gift, of me "i have a gift for You".
Approaching Her side, i fumble a little with the small box as i struggle to open it so that She may see the inexpensive chain nestled inside. As She fastens Her eyes on the pretty teardrop shaped charm in the box, i see the familiar look on Her face as She rejects my gift to Her.
After a while of talking to Her, i am able to get Her to accept my gift... and She moves as...
Woohoo!!! I'm back again!!! It took me forever to figure out that I needed to delete and reinstall my Lettrs app when it stopped working!!!
I managed to have a mostly quiet Christmas... punctuated by the odd moment of alarm. On the whole, though, it was the polar opposite of Christmas 2016 - which is precisely what Master and i set out to achieve over Christmas 2017.
I had my odd moments of weakness where I almost replied to Princess, but I remained strict with my self discipline and reminded myself that she is beyond my help now. I continue to pray for her, but that's all I can manage now.
I also reworked the Christmas Mass to a format that better worked for me since I decid...
Don't you see what you do to me???
It's been a year now, a year in which you have faithfully and regularly left Me little updates on you and your life. A year in which I have periodically unblocked you, longing to see that you are happy and have moved on without Me.
Every update, you have pleaded with Me to break My silence and it takes all that I have to remember that you made your choice when you chose him over Me. There's a place in My frozen heart that really misses you and I'd love to break My silence and have a good catch up with you - but I still care... I care too much and I know that if you use My title just once, it'll be like we haven't just spent a year apa...
How I wish someone would get him off my back for a bit.
He's done nothing but bitch at me in one form or another all day long and I'm tired of hearing just where I stand with my own husband.
He resents me for the fact that I don't have to go through job search just yet because I'm trying to work more on ensuring that I'm medically fit to carry out whichever role I ultimately end up with. The fact that walking just 2.2 miles in a day puts my body under extreme duress for the next four days isn't even a factor here and nor is the type of employment that I can realistically hope to obtain.
I decided to attempt to escape him by attempting some light cleaning at 1am... and...
So far, I've kept rather quiet on the topic of Uber potentially losing its license to operate within London because I've been putting my energies into trying to console some of our more vulnerable people who will be affected by this.
As I've done this, I've noticed that the situation has been made out to be a catastrophe because of the personal effect that the closure would have on the lives of the individuals concerned. Even the national media has jumped on the way that the potential loss of Uber within London would affect women and I've seen reports that petitions have been signed to try and reverse the decision.
I can't help but wonder just how much the general public reali...
Ode to the traffic warden
Nobody likes you
Or the work you do
They don't care that it's for their safety, too
Keeping those bays free for use
Comes with much abuse
They say it's just a ruse
Never seeing the truth
They see the little bag
Their spirits flag
And hearts sag
Here they come to nag
A life you can save
Because of the bag you gave
They don't treat parking so grave
Caring only for the minutes they can shave.
As hurricane season heats up into its most active time of the year, I want to take the time to share with you what I find to be the most fascinating part of hurricane season.
For me, the most fascinating part of hurricane season isn't the hurricane itself or the devastation that they can bring with them.
The most beautiful part of hurricane season is that you see people who might have lost everything rise up in the determination, they are not only determined to rebuild what they had before.
These people who lost everything aren't just determined to rebuild what they had before the hurricane that took everything from them... but they don't leave no man or woman behind.
"Dig deep" they say.
Well, I'm digging deep right now... so fucking deep that it's taking all I have to live through another minute of this miserable existence that I live.
I really want to cave in and feel the sting of the blade passing through my skin to the extent that it's been all that I can think about for the past two days.
The only reason that I am fighting right now is because I'm scared that, once I start, I won't stop in time to survive.
I hate myself enough to not care about what happens to me, but I can't do that to my Master... I know that He will carry my death with Him until the day that He dies in the same way as I would carry His death with me until the day...
Way to go... you sure put a few years on me over the time that you were down in Florida!!!
I still can't decide which part was worse between knowing that you were going to make landfall and knowing that Master wasn't going to have very long to prepare because of His vacation!
It felt like the longest week of my life as I had to watch, seemingly certain that you were going to hit the east coast - yet hoping that you would somehow change course and remain off shore before heading out into the Atlantic like a good hurricane.
Watching you shift from the east coast to the west coast was just as rough because I knew that people would have evacuated to the west from the south and east...
Hurricane season just might be the death of me one of these days.
Though Master is currently safely away from Irma, I can't help but wonder exactly what He will be returning home to??? If I'm honest, I'm half out of my mind worrying about it... and I have no way to contact Him to establish what His plans are.
I know when He is supposed to be returning home... but I don't know if He will make it through or not. I guess that roads will be closed and curfews enforced as Irma gets closer to Florida, too.
Hopefully, He will be able to hunker down somewhere safe and return home after the danger has passed because I don't much like the idea of Him rushing home only to have to prepar...
You came back
Only to go again
I try to hide the pain
By standing in the rain
Because I know there's nothing to gain
Facing my birthday alone
I'll allow my thoughts to roam
To the flowers in the loam
''Tis happy thoughts that I loan
As my heart issues a groan
My mind counts the days down
Until those wheels touch the ground
My mouth makes no sound
Of the worries abound
I will give You this little gift
To give Your heart a lift
No matter how I have to sift
Until the end of the shift
I know that You can tell
That all hasn't been well
Though I tried the hard sell
As I fought my way through Hell
One thing that I have learned recently is that sharing places can actually draw people closer together - even if they are on opposite sides of the Earth.
Your writing prompt is to tell me about a place that is special to you and why that is.
Don't forget to tag your letters #myplace and comment here when you have completed it so that I can check it out.
It doesn't take any black or white
To stand up and do what is right
Take up arms and fight the fight
There is just one race
And we each have our place
No need to save face
When I allow my mind to drift back through the years... which is not that often these days, I recall what it was like to live with the bullies for my whole education.
Isn't it strange how no matter what systems schools have in place to "combat bullying" nothing really makes any difference???
I mean, sure, if you made the effort to actually report it, you might get a break for a few days... but more often than not, it either continues as it was or deteriorates into a situation that is worse than it was.
In some ways, I consider myself to be fortunate that we didn't have internet access at home until I was an adult because I think that if I had been unfortunate enough to have b...
Dear Mr. Trump,
Why do you feel the need to attack transgender men and women in this way???
I don't understand what the difference is between a transgender man or woman and a biological man or woman. As far as I see it, these people are still men and women regardless of whichever gender they were assigned at birth.
The fact that these people are prepared to put their lives on the line in order to protect their country is something that you should be respecting them for rather than preventing them from doing the job that they want to do... after all, it's your ass that they are protecting.
Instead, you are choosing to marginalise them and force them to live as a person that they ar...
I really enjoyed Mass today... though my favourite part of the day occurred immediately afterwards.
Firstly, a friend gave me a little book of prayers that also covers the Stations of The Cross, too. I plan to take a look at that some part of tomorrow. I will keep that in my Bible since it is the sweetest, most thoughtful gift that I've received for a while.
The other thing that went on after Mass was that Father seemed surprised to see me leaving church!!! It turned out that he had been looking for me as he preached his sermon and I guess that he either missed me or somehow overlooked me because he was asking if I had changed my pew or not... I have only changed my pew on two...
Late in the night
Is the big fight
Everyone wants to be the sight
All hoping that you might
Talk to them til it's light
Illness has taken its hold
Though their hearts are gold
They are in the mold
Can't be told
They walk the haze
Lost in the maze
Could take days
To find their ways
The poles will reverse
As they traverse
They will curse
Forgetting things could be worse
Deep in the low
Updates are slow
As they find their glow
You want to know
I have to say that it's not hard to overlook the reason why some people who are subjected to harassment commit suicide.
After three weeks straight of harassment, I'm now no longer going anywhere at all by myself... I was only going to Mass and back alone as it was - but that hour and half of alone time each week was glorious to me and something that I often enjoyed.
Sadly, I've had to sacrifice it because of a couple of individuals who feel that I don't deserve to peacefully go about my daily life or move on from an event that happened fifteen years ago.
Now, I know that I could get the police involved in one situation since I know exactly who is intimidating me - but I fail ...
I give up the fight
In the morning light
Don't like the sight
As I take another slight
They make me blue
Saying things untrue
They don't have a clue
But that's nothing new
For fifteen years
I've hidden my tears
Drowning in my fears
Watching as my time nears.
Never getting a fresh start
Constantly playing the part
Life is no art
Obtainable at the mart
In the end
They never bend
No matter how much love you send
Life is something you lend
I pretend I'm fine
Though I don't want mine
Can't face the next line
On who will they dine
I encountered another fake dom the other day... this one couldn't accept "I'm not interested in you" for an answer and spent a considerable amount of his time trying to convince me of how unhappy I am with Master. I blocked him in the end... only for him to start over again with a second account - which I eventually blocked, too.
I don't get how talking with other Doms translates to being unhappy with your own Dom... after all, we all speak to people of the opposite gender in our daily lives and it doesn't mean that we are unhappy with the man or woman that we are with.
The only reason why I speak with other Doms is because I am so fucking lonely that it is unbelievable. Many ...
My pain levels are pretty high right now... usually, I would tell Master about it - but I feel selfish enough as it is right now... especially when I know what He is facing this week and I am unable to support Him as much as I would like to be able to.
It's mainly my back from its usual spot radiating down into my hips so far. Hopefully, it will stay that way.
I felt a little suicidal earlier because I didn't think that the pain was ever going to ease up. I managed to suitably distract myself by looking for a submissive of my own again, though... I would never forgive myself if I took away Master's enjoyment of Independence Day because I couldn't tolerate a few hours of pain a...
I see in the news that they are trying to make the Grenfell Tower fire a "political issue" over at Glastonbury festival.
That's not quite sitting properly in my mind because of the way that they are implying that only the political party with the majority vote is capable of upholding the law. To me, the law is the law regardless of if the party with the majority vote is Labour or SNP.
The only real way that I can see it being a political issue is if the politicians are now going to hold up their hands and say "We are sorry that we didn't have safety measures in place to ensure your safety was the priority".
Of course, I already know that they don't have the safety measures in...
Dear Jeremy Corbyn,
Do the world a favour and close your mouth. You are expressing opinions on subjects that you know nothing about.
Until the investigations are completed and evidence has been found to state that the cladding used on other buildings was only placed there because it was a cheaper option to the fire RESISTANT (that's right, my friend, even the "proper stuff" isn't fireproof) it's a little premature to go accusing people of cutting corners... unless, of course, you have access to information that the open and transparent investigation hasn't revealed to the public - which makes the investigation less open and transparent than it should be.
As things stand right now, the publ...
If there's one thing that I'm tired of hearing about right now, it has to be Jeremy Corbyn and his take on how the government isn't safe to lead us through Brexit. It went on right the way through the last election and still seems to be all that he's talking about now if the media is anything to go by.
Jeremy, you need to understand that you aren't some special little cupcake. The truth is that neither you or Theresa are really fit for purpose when it comes to negotiating Brexit... the only difference is that she happens to look less like a local bum who has spent his time between sessions living on the street with all the other homeless bums.
If you ever want to be taken seri...
I'm feeling alone and hurt right now.
It would appear that Master is busy for now, so I am on reduced attention until He returns to me. I'm holding up pretty good in the face of this though.
The thing that I'm struggling to bear is the pain and suffering of others.
It seems that every time Master gives me this break, my life takes a different path for a while... and that path has been the same path for almost two years now.
I don't understand what it is about me that sends transgender and cross dressing people to my door with their problems, but, no matter where I go, they find me and I try to guide them as best as I can.
This time is no different apart from the fact that I...
I've decided that I have a hate hate relationship with sleep right now. I hate sleep as much as sleep hates me.
I'm lying here in bed now and I'm still not sure if I can sleep or not... I merely sent myself to bed before Master does when I update Him that I haven't slept later on.
It's hard to not get stressed about the fact that I've gone full circle and I'm now back to sleeping solely during the day and being awake at night. I know that getting stressed out about it is just going to create bigger problems down the line, though.
It's just so annoying that things have played out like this and I have to admit that I've considered hurting myself over it in my weaker moments. I ...