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Bekah Hollinger

PO# 45090
United States
United States
June 21, 2019
 

                                            Parabatai
You are my warrior of words
My wisdom in motion
My friend always
Where you walk so will I
Moreover
Let me leave with thee
Archangels
Impart us with love
Do to us
With favor
What thee would wish
Parabatai
Sings with my soul
Together
Dance with my heart
Together
Across my arm
Let me shoulder your burden
Let me share it with thee
For your heart is my own
Sweet Parabatai

I AM WHO I AM
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PO#45090
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June 18, 2019
 

If anger is a fire;
Why does love start with a spark?
How does our desire burn?
If love is everything;
Why is it described as something destructive?
Our love could be a castle
Our love is as deep as the ocean
Our love could be vast stretching out like the sky
But
Castles are not immune to time
They crumble
Oceans are dark and have secrets
They drown
Skies give way to night
A new beauty
How can our love transcend;
Our frail humanity?
This earth is filled with broken things
When I met you
A new adventure started
And I became whole.
But
With a beginning comes an ending
Where can our love grow and never die?
Our hearts have a numbered beat
But this love inside me cannot...

GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME
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PO#45090
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June 17, 2019
 

Chasing happiness
But not finding joy
Wandering throughout life
You become like stone
Opposites are born through
Stubbornness
This seeing things through
A new view of you
I wait for you to change
Loving unchanging stone
Wandering through
Your poisonous personalities
Taking the toxicity
Filtering you through my soul
Giving up everything
Giving you all the control
Searching for happiness
I wonder what you see
When my expiring joy
Is all I have left of me

MOMENT IN THE SUN
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PO#45090
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June 17, 2019
 

I fell asleep
To your heartbeat
The solitude of your arms
The distance that lives between
You and I.
The rushing of your thoughts and dreams
Standing on top of me
I push you forward
So, you can grow
Kill myself with the lie
That my time to grow will come soon
All I see is your hopes come true
While inside me the lie lives
Waiting to be set free
Needing an outlet
waiting for them to come true
I need you to listen
Reassure me,
That these lies are true?
The weight of your arms lay heavy
Holding me
Turning a place of love
Into a garden of bitterness
This distance is deafening
The promises I needed to hear
Lay and rest with me
A grave of all my hopes and dreams;
But...

PORTLAND SIDEWALK
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PO#45090
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June 13, 2019
 

Water washes away my wishes
The what ifs that haunt me
I climb into the shower
a place of strength and rebirth
This water washes away my tears
The rushing sound muffles my sobs
I walk in broken and some how
I clean the brokenness away
I am new
My resolve becomes concrete
As the water drips away
I become stone
Not weathered down into nothing
But compressed into something more
resilient.
I find solace in my warm rain
A storm I control on my worst days

DAY OF TRUTH
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June 3, 2019
 

I cannot sleep
Not without your breath next to me
My restlessness is wild
My mind races
My eyes search
I need the melody
Of your trust
Sleeping next to me
I need the planes of your face
For they are mine to gaze upon
I need your rest
You are my comfort
I rely on your shoulders
Your chest is my cradle
The only place I can lay my head
To press my ear to your skin
Where my future lives
The only rhythm I cannot count
For I never wish to know
The number God placed in your heart
I prefer to think this symphony
Of you living is infinite
Because this is the only forever
I can live in
Where your feet reach for mine
Where we sink and never drown
Where we dissolve ...

INTROVERTS WEEK
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June 3, 2019
 

Your impression
This is all I have left of me
My soul without companion;
is an empty thing indeed
This vessel was crafted to be a home
not to be left
but to be loved
I am aching with abandon
these arms cave without someone to hold
a crumpling, forgotten cathedral
where our desperate love
was the worship we clung to
this heart heaves without its other half
these feet arch,
as if I could run to you
why was I carved from dust
only to be left in the rain
I dissolve
I am nothing but a sound
an abandoned scream
one that was suffocated
snuffed out
before the world heard my
agony
leaving has never felt
This heart shattering
like the earth breaking
Each breath I ta...

MADE WITH LOVE
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May 28, 2019
 

Let me chase
These childhood dreams
The milestones
That mark our life
I see you
Accomplishing
Making achievements
A reality
Let me look up to you
So that when I grow
I know the places
I'll want to go

GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME
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May 28, 2019
 

This is your home
Old, scarred
As familiar as a memory
As I become your mom
My voice is the soundtrack
To your childhood
My sweet kisses mend
wounds and broken hearts
I am the lullaby that rocks you to sleep
You are my heart that keeps racing
The clock never slows down
The sunsets to quickly
But these nights are forever
I'm worrying
I'm never enough
I'm everything you need
I'm the qualities you have
The standard that you hate
Please love me a little longer
Like the nights you yearned for my arms
Keep my tears a secret
Your lack of caution
My burden to carry
I'd lift the world if it kept you safe
Nestled in the mountains
Once protected in the cold
...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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May 28, 2019
 

Close my eyes and let me see
All the things I want to be
Don't hide your true self
Little one dance
To your very own beat
Don't be afraid to grow
But don't push it
Bounds or leaps
Let it come
Don't be scared
Hold my hand
We will carry on
Close your eyes dear one
See what I see
Ignore the world
Just let them be
See yourself
Love yourself
Set that girl free

GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME
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May 28, 2019
 

Dreaming of the beach
Waking and sleeping
Lullaby of the ocean
Steadiness in the sand
Dig deep my precious babe
One day an aloha lae
Will lay on your head
Heady perfume
Of the island breeze
Which too soon blows away
Goodbye paradise
Aloha
Until I see you again

CREATIVE WRITING
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May 23, 2019
 

A museum of people
Set your perfect up for others to see
Not a hospital of the broken
but a showcase of false atrocities  
They watch and see what you say
Mistakes held against you
No judge or jury in the grapevine
Love when it's convenient
kindness wont benefit you
If your lost alone
That's when we feel,
Right at home
Paint a smile on your lips
Hide the sinfulness
Forbearance at it's best
Waiting for acceptance
Try to be better
You wont be good enough
A wolf is inviting you in
A feast of innocence
Waiting to begin

PASSION OVER PERFECT
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April 5, 2019
 

Drawing nearer to the sun
Look what I have become
Giving life
Like breathing
Is easy
Taking time to not fret
When time feels consuming
Rocking closer to an epiphany
Wondering where you were
At the end of my start?
Our beginning is lost
Like a story
That starts in the middle
Words missing
Reaching across the page
Creeping through the air
You touch me
And I feel you
We crumble like dust
Infinite possibilities
Wander closer to the sun
Feel the heat
A desperate spark
Look at what we have become
Three people
From two
Giving life is hard
Like agony
Taking time to watch them begin
Let them consume every minute
Because too soon
They will each f...

POETRY MONTH
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February 10, 2019
 

I wish I had the perfect words
Or the prayers you need to hear
The thing to say to get you through the day
Or just to chase away your fears
The chance to say I love you
Like no one has said before
Maybe I could always be
Your calm in the midst of a storm
Now sometimes it may get rough
My words will be jumbled and unclear
But if you let me stay by your side
Time will tell you why I'm here
I'm here because I love you
Stronger than before
More than I've ever known
I'm here because I believe
In doing all you can
To show how much I care
I'll love you longer than my life
More numerous than the stars
In every beat of my heart
That's where you are
I live in the sound of ...

LOVE FOR ALL
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February 3, 2019
 

The shadow within myself
Dances to hollow beats
The wind at night,
The breath before a scream.
This is the passion
The mad fire inside
As I reach beyond
I see the place
Where hearts come to break
There is joy
This is despair
Hate hot on my skin
It evaporates away
This is the release, I now seek
No more purging
Or the age of cutting into my skin
This is my silence that speaks
My voice inside
This fills the hollow within
Teachers before me
Pointed toes
This path I sashaya down
I sink to my knees
only to rise from my feet
I welcome exhaustion
Feel everything inside me
Humming and alive
This is the heart
That lives inside my hollow beats

PASSION OVER PERFECT
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January 2, 2019
 


Waiting forever
In an endless dream
Running, chasing
Nothing but a smokescreen
I long to wake up
Feel something that is real
Instead the nightmares here
I’ve sunk past reality
Into realms that hold their own life
When will I hold mine?
Your breath is suspended
Awaiting my screams
Hold on and you only withhold
Your entry
Agony is abetting me
Whispering in my ear
These things you once loved
You’ll never hold, dear
Please end my suffering
Awaken from your sleep
Raise me from this slumber
This never ending dream.

WHITE CLOCK
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December 18, 2018
 

The cold is what I long for
The ache in my lungs
My heart growing to meet the challenge of beating
Frozen inside
I come alive
This is my sanctuary
My home
The heat of battle exhausts me
Keep me cold
Where my breath writes a symphony
Where you can hear the world
Life is suspended
Warmth is forgotten
In winters rule
Cover me with blankets of snow and frost
Leave me here
Where emotions cant reach me
Cold is what I long for
A shiver that numbs hope
Dearest cold hold me close
Keep me here where time is waiting
Where the ice negates
What I think of myself
Frozen alive
It's how I survive
Wrap myself in cold
Numbs my heart into bone


DAY OF TRUTH
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November 24, 2018
 

Exit blinking
Like it’s the escape
Reach me
Take me
Sweep me away
Pull me down
Into the rabbit hole
Wayward journey
Leave me alone
Alice and I
Could have an escape
Madder here
Rather than sane
Blinking
Winking
Take me away
Make my escape


WORLD POST DAY
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November 24, 2018
 

Just tear my heart
Rip it in two
One for me
One for you
Leave for awhile
Leave me behind
Know the truth
I was tired of lying
Please be fair
And come back soon
Cause even with half a heart,
I miss you

WHITE CLOCK
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PO#45090
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November 24, 2018
 

This destruction
Is at your discretion
Painted lips
Won't bite the tongue
It wounds and offends
Smiles true
Laughter is best
I'm afraid we all can't
compete in your contest  
Winners lose
Your best isn't good enough
Rise above it
But horses don't have wings
Tempers fly
While we all ignore
The poison is here
Hearth and home
Warm, loving safe place
Turned to stone
Medusas web was easily broken
Yours cannot even be spoken
Tear it apart
Just like a cloud
We fill up
Then all fall down

MAKE IDEAS HAPPEN
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November 13, 2018
 

Going away
But the pain stays
Try
It says
Just try to runaway
Turn around
Crumple to the ground
Scream
Cry
Gasp
But it won't go away
Plead
Say it slowly
Please leave me be
Come back harder
Knock me down
Out of breath
Away from the sound
Your voice lingers
Where scars stay
Sew me up
But my heart still breaks
Leave me be
My soul can't take this
Breathe you in
My fear can't take this
Falling into a black hole
Take me please
I'm sold
reaching out
Your dark arms
You turn around
Leave me here
Crumpled and broken
Gasp
Cry
Scream
Awaken without a word spoken
Say to me what you desire
This dream is me
Burning in heavenly fir...

BE BRAVE
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November 13, 2018
 

I tremble in shakes
My heart melts in fear
Contagious drug
I can't get enough
Scared and alone
I love the pretense
Give me another excuse
To not chase God
My lovely fear
How can I do anything?
Without you here
My doubt crashes over me
Satan on the edge of his seat
Best game in the house
Chase me around
Watch in laughter at my fear
Run my life into the ground
Where is the escape I was promised?
These chains pull me down
Get me out of this grave
Seven feet down
He starts to bury me
On my knees, this doesn't have to be
The end.
I call out
Jesus meet me here
His love reaches down
If I can trust, God will carry me out
Meet me where I'm broken
Fill me up
In ...

RANDOM ACTS OF POETRY - DAY
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November 13, 2018
 

Gentle strength
Reassures and saves
Not the firm first
But a caress on your cheek
Quiet and wise
Steady slow
Like a resting heartbeat
Keeping me here
Through a thready pulse
Shakey at first
Until I learn to grow
Hold my head high
Do not say a word
Breathe in
Breathe out
Just let it all go
Anger is fast
Pushing us to act
Refuse to give in
Quickening a pace
Only cuts to the end
Do not relieve yourself
Of lifes lesson
It'll come back again
Circle around until
Its story is told
Gentleness through pain
In heartache, when you break
Gentleness outstretched
To forgive and heal
Always be a gentle warrior
With a core of love and steel

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
Thumb_1559561976
PO#45090
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November 13, 2018
 

When your heart breaks
You hear the pieces fall
Crash to the ground
Shattered mess
Do you recognize them at all?
Pushed and pulled
Strings and arms
A mile away
Years apart
Waiting around
Breaking down
Burned out
Where is my release?
Why can't I breathe?
I feel like my arms are chained
And this promise on my neck
Is choking me.
I gasp....
I plead....
You kneel by her feet
Aphrodite smiling

MADE WITH LOVE
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PO#45090
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November 5, 2018
 

I am your child awaiting life
Your heartbeat is my lullaby
Your hands my reassurance
The sweet melody of your voice
Tells me of your love and plans for me
I’m trying to grow sweet momma
I hear your prayers and cry’s
Where is this sorrow planted?
Your hands feel different now
They shake as you try to hold me
I want to say I love you but I’m waiting for my first breath
I’ll move so you know I’m ok
So many doctor appointments
You listen and check on me almost every week
Is something wrong sweet momma?
I hear your muffled sobs
I feel you pull my siblings closer
Your prayers seem frantic but I am here
I’ll be with you close to your racing heart.
Dad holds you a lot now, I fee...

ORIGINAL
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October 29, 2018
 

Find yourself a keeper
The one who stays the same
You may never notice her
But she is always there
She wears herself a watch
One which does not tick
Nor tock
You must find yourself a watcher
Someone who does not change
But keeps the changing in her mind
Like tides that fancy waves
The fads that differ with the years
The superficial façade that comes and goes
The ones that influence your life
And the ones that wreck your path
Find a peaceful lover
With a true meaning
Don't let warriors
Wreck this precious time
Time we need to learn
Minutes we measure in moments
Find the keeper of your heart
So this love you feel will never change
So the hands on this face ring ...

WHITE CLOCK
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October 29, 2018
 

Today I am loved
My cup is overflowing
Today I am surrounded
Peace floods me
Even when worries attack
I sit silent and the let tears fall
Once again it seems to much
But I am lifted up
Heart feels heavy
My feet wish this was not my path
But I continue on
I am not alone
Little heart that beats inside
Needs me to be strong
As my tears overflow
I know I'm poured into
Scared but not alone
Finally surrounded
Letting those in
Helping hands
Encouraging words
Today I am not alone
The struggles I face are great
But I know the truth
I feel my Lord's overcoming love
His peace steady me
As I soldier on
Today I am loved
A work of art
Overflowing

LOVE IS ALL WE NEED
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October 29, 2018
 

Today I am as empty as this cup.
Today I am raw and exposed.
I am alone.
I am surrounded as I hold back tears
I sit on the stairs and keep it all in
I am Teflon it all falls away
I am sitting in a hallway
I find grace in an act
Today Jesus sits with me
When my husband can't
Today the tears and sobs
Break down my walls when the door shuts
The rain pounds with my heart
I am alone, alone, alone
Little voice, little hands
Need me to solider on
But today I am empty
I am raw
Today in a sea of faces
Family was the only one sincere
Today I am this cup
Waiting to be filled
Hold me close
When I feel like I can't hold on
Lord help me I feel like you're gone
Moth...

GREAT THINGS
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October 18, 2018
 

The rain awakens my senses
It refills my soul
The sweet heady perfume
Of humidity cascading down
Rain washes over me
Cleans away the bitter day
Refreshes the aching land
Rain is life and vitality
Taste it on your skin
Water and salt glistening
Listen to it's sound
How powerful the pitter patter echos
When thunder booms down
The clouds darken with a secret
For only they know
How long they will scream out
Rain refills the oceans
Turns a trickle to a stream
How greatly it effects us all
How quickly the end seems
Leaving puddles and warmth
In it's frenzied wake
Or perhaps after it's steady beat
Wrap your skin in sweet humidity
Like a kiss over too soon
You watc...

BE KIND
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October 11, 2018
 

You can break all the walls
Holes in every one
Put pictures up to hide
Pictures of the past
pictures of what you want
But people still see
When those memories fade
You must find new ones to fill
The holes you leave again
But memories can't be made
When your not around
And when you left
We finally slept without a sound
Someone new came in
He fixed every hole
Opened up the windows
His smile brought sunshine in
The love that filled that house
Poured out in laughter and
Presence.

True meaning in life is where your heart is, you may give out love that is weak because that is all you know. But when you have witnessed an all consuming love you have no excuse to hold back....

ORIGINAL
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