|Depression isn't easy...but letting out my dark feelings on here helps|
I'm done seeking your approval and praise. Nothing will ever be good enough for you. Mom thinks I complain a lot, well guess who I got that from, both of you! This isn't how families are supposed to be, I'm not supposed to never feel like anything I do is good enough. Like in Gilmore Girls, Rory says that she wants to make her mom happy but that's easy because she's okay with anything she does... That's the complete opposite of my family. They're never okay with anything and I'm done trying. Mom wants me to take time off school to work, instead of graduating in a year and moving forward. She doesn't care about me moving forward, they only care when I'm going to move out.
Why are you pulling away? I do everything I can for you yet you treat me like garbage. I've tried talking to you about this, but you just tell me I'm wrong. I'm not wrong. What you're doing hurts. It's not fair. Why am I always there, yet you're never anywhere? I feel alone; like reaching out my hand for help but you ignore. What did I do to deserve this?!
We only had one date. So, why is it killing me so much to see you? I can't stop imagining going up to you to give you a big hug and kiss...but we don't even talk anymore, it hurts too much. I know it shouldn't because we only went out once but I just see so much potential for us, why don't you want me too? I understood at first, but now what's the reason? ...Exactly. I know you're not interested so why does it still hurt so much? It feels like my heart has been ripped out. Seeing you hurts, talking to you hurts but it's not getting any better...when will it get better? Why can't I stop feeling like this? As my heart races, I feel as if I'm going to fall over sick around you. Why do ...
J. K. Rowling,
After reading some articles, I have come to realize how you seem to be hesitant on making any more Harry Potter movies. An understandable concern to not want to mess up the good thing you had going like so many other sequels do. However, in your case, I believe that your fear is unwarranted. Each sequel you have made has had a unique and interesting storyline, that doesn't get repeated like many other sequels tend to do. Each movie that has been made has had its own storyline while following the overall story. We were always about to get the satisfaction of completing a journey in each film yet left thristy for more, eager to find out what happens overall. You are a great st...
Holding back tears as you inch closer toward the edge, you wonder how people aren't noticing. Do they just not care? Probably. Or, if anything, I'm just not worth paying close attention to. Either way, I don't want to talk. I want someone to care enough to notice, even though I know they won't... it's all down hill from here.
You beat me down
Pushed me around
'til I was nothing but shreds
I took the damage
Though, with a bandage
Only to be pounded again
Now you're nowhere near
Yet I still fear
You're with me 'til the end
The sleepless nights
The lonely fights
Are forgotten in the dark
The feeling remains
As does the pain
Pushing forth thru tomorrow
Have you ever noticed how many people just babble on about themselves and their lives? I don't usually mind it, especially if they really just need to talk to someone. However, have you noticed that they almost never let you talk? You have to be a little rude by interrupting just to get a word in. Occasionally this is okay but lately I've noticed how many people make a habit of doing such things. Do you even know what's going on in my life? What if I'm going through something and need to talk? Oh, wait. I tried that. You just bring the conversation back to you. Meanwhile, I hope nothing happens to me (like myself). Wake up people! You never know who's on the verge of giving up or losing it. D...
I can't sleep, can't eat. I feel like an empty shell walking around numb to everything. Like a ghost, no one notices. Would you notice if I were gone? The world wouldn't. I'd be just another person to have died that day. No mark left, soon forgotten, better off without. How can no one see the pain behind my eyes? Do you even care? I'm just a screw up anyway. I'm not going to make a big difference in the world, I'm not going to amount to much anyway so why bother? All I do is disappoint and annoy. My problems, feelings don't matter. I'm just a nuisance, the pebble in your shoe...
I miss you. I didn't realize how many things reminded me of you until you left. I feel like we were just beginning to connect when you had to leave. It was nice to have someone who actually understood how frustrating it can be when, all of a sudden, you're health begins to rapidly decline. None of it was our fault and we were definitely too young for it. I'm scared that I'm going to have my life cut short too. I'm terrified that I won't even make it to the age you were when you had to leave. I don't want to suffer like I'm afraid you may have. I wish there was more of a warning and I opened up to you more. I try to be thankful and happy for, at least, getting to spend my last birt...
What is family? My extended "family" (aunts, uncles, etc) haven't spoken to me in 2+ years. This feud began long before me but, for some history, my aunt was taking anything and everything my mother shared or posted on Facebook way too personally. Getting frustrated of no one taking action I decided to step in to basically tell my aunt to chill. She then blocked me and everyone in my household. It took me a few days to notice but, apparently, my other aunt deleted me from Facebook as well (my uncles don't have Facebook). I believe it seemed kinda childish so I let it go and gave everyone time to calm down, 2+ years later...(earlier this month) my grandfather was in the hospital and we were al...
I feel so alone. My family doesn't seem to care about how I'm doing or feeling. I'm afraid to open up to them because, it seems, every time they hurt me. Although they don't seem to be concerned that I don't say much. I'm the black sheep. Unwanted. Even ignoring this my life is still very difficult and stressful yet no one seems to truly understand (or want to understand)...