Please Dear Lord let me, if not overcome this, then at least grant me the strength to endure it till my Drs. office is open in the A.M. !?
I'm not sure what's going on with me at the moment but it feels a lot like the Angina attack I had when I was like 19! My chest feels the same, I have a slight headache bordering on migraine and I'm really nauseous (which has increasingly gotten worse the longer my chest has been hurting!)
I guess due to my history of already having had an Angina attack, plus my family history of heart problems; my "mom" (possibly bio GM...?UK!) has a history of Angina attacks that took place in her early 20s & my "sister" (possibly my actual bio mom...?UK!) was...
Nope not my role...If you want me to respond use my name! If you want to use a nick name I have plenty...or I'll even compromise and let you choose one!
Babe isn't an option just as I'm not an option...MY choice, MINE alone & your input isn't desired or required! I'll ignore EVERY single BABE you choose to utter point blank!
Now you KNOW!
I REALLY hope she's worth it, and as much as I hurt, I pray she loves you!
I may at times allow things that I shouldn't or even excuse people for things that never should've been said or done and often without even an apology, but that doesn't mean I don't notice or that I haven't got a clue about any of it! Nor does it mean I lack intelligence...now as for being idiotic, ok, on the level of "unable to guard against common dangers" I give you that! Well not that I'm unable to, more so I choose not to since I tend to believe everyone is inherently good and has intentions, if not the same as mine then at least similar, and that even good people make mistakes and deserve a chance to be th...
I may be heartbroken for a while,
Your fashion of loving is out of style,
Does it matter loving you makes my soul smile,
Am I to continue alone down this lonely mile?
Time is of the essence,
if it matters, if I matter,
if WE matter...
To many gunshots,
to much worry,
I give 2 more hours for u to be here,
for you to prove it...
I know you get my messages ALL of them
So now I'll know what I truly do mean to you all within 2 hours time span...
You asked me who gave me black eyes and I was honestly confused then figured it was my eyeliner you must have been seeing as black eyes, till just now looking in the mirror with no make up on at all and I myself can see the dark circles under my eyes... Now I have an answer to your question on who gave me black eyes!
At least these 2 at this time! They are a product of all the tears I've cried over the past months! Especially the last couple weeks! So yeah the person who gave them to me is YOU!
How could you!? How could you become this version of you that you have become? How could you be so heartless and cruel? How could you destroy me so carelessly and effortlessly like I'm less than the garbage lining the streets!? How could you betray me so immensely knowing full well how much I love you and what you mean to me!? How could you become worse than the worst who have hurt me thus far? Was that your goal? To be better at EVERY aspect where lovers from my past were concerned? Having obtained my unlimited love, my ENTIRE heart, you then had to destroy me simply so you could have my heartbreak too?
After I bared my heart and soul to you reading you that letter (which was WAY more pers...
Can I just say Food Poisoning SUCKS!!!! Thankfully it appears that I didn't have to much of whatever it was that was bad and I'm at the last bit of misery from it! So freaking hungry but still scared to eat anything! Just happy I no longer have the urge to vomit, that's a HUGE plus!
Well di Amore Amaretto isn't quite Disaronno but considering how buzzed I am already, I have a feeling it'll do quite nice! I'm a light weight at best with ANY kinda alcohol so I'm about to be FUCKED UP!! 😎🤣💋
So on my way home after my failed attempt to go to Walmart the other night, a car passed me going the opposite direction, with a woman driving and oddly the thought I had was about the body damage and thought that's possibly what the car that hit Juan might look like! Crazier things have happened but I didn't actually think it was the car. I continue on my way and she actually turned around and slowed down to stare at me as she passed by me once more! Now I'm wondering if it was in fact J who was the target or if instead it was actually me! Wonder what she was planning had ur dad not been heading my direction, he was at the light as she got there & turned around to head there direction I was...
Don't allow your false perceptions to become your reality!
What you perceive of me isn't always true, which is what you fail to see!
I can't ask you to live in this hell with me, especially when you're so much happier without me!
I'd give anything just to see you happy, even at the cost of destroying me completely!
There's been no one else but YOU since Nov. 9 whether or not you choose to believe!
All I have to offer is ME, which I get isn't exactly a grand prize, instead it's a lot of brokenness even more love, truth and no lies!
My love is legit and doesn't stray, I only focus on one love at a time, you're that one here and now, just wish you would realize!
It's your choice, I've ...
It's so hard to hold on, to stay fighting a losing battle! Especially when what you're fighting for doesn't even give a fuck about you! My entire life has been me fighting for those I love while never managing to be enough for anyone to love me too! All the little things I do are done outta love, cause they are important to me! I love getting or making things for people who matter to me and not just random generic things that have no significance either! The littlest tiniest detail could be the reason behind what draws me to get or make something for someone but there's ALWAYS a specific reason that links to the person it's for! I guess that's why it hurts so much that I've never manage...
Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut! Why can't I ever fucking keep my damn mouth shut!? Like I'm not pressed for time as it was, and I had to open my mouth and let him know my thoughts, my fear! I have no proof, I just have a feeling, deep in my soul I KNOW something isn't right! I wish I wasn't so fucking alone! I hate that I'm gonna have to run with no direction in which to head, no plans on how to make it work, no nothing but the knowledge that I HAVE to! I can't pretend everything is ok cause it's not! Things have happened that have shown him that while I'm alive he can't have my son and since he knows I will NEVER be with him again I'm sure his evil ass is doing something to fix his i...
At least now I know what I look like through your mirror...
Funny how the view through my mirror didn't cut quite as deep!
I know I'm not who you want or need based on the way you treat me.
I'd never treat someone I hated like you've treated me!
You love me was just another joke on me!
I wish you all the best though, I truly do, I'll leave you to continue to be free of me!
ALL my LOVE...
Somehow somewhere along the way I think I became your way of exacting revenge or your way of one-upping your rival! You failed to realize the only one you were hurting is ME! I meant NOTHING to him just as I obviously mean NOTHING to you! The other day when you drew what I had believed was our names, I couldn't understand why you spelled mine with two E's or why you took it when you left. I don't remember what you replied as to why and it's not really important that I remember as it was simply another one of your lies! What I didn't know or even realize was the fact that in your world I'm not the only Bre even if she uses 2 E's! I wonder if her name is Sabrina as well or if it's more commo...
Sometimes it's good to walk away, to ease the aches & dull the pain,
to quite the arguments & stop the fights.
Sometimes it's ok to stay & converse though the night, expressing internal feelings, neither one nor the other even if differing opinions, wrong or right.
When one alwayz leaves & the other is alwayz left behind, it's as though they are left to brave alone, the fall from the highest heights!
I know not how to express that YOU truly are my star, that even in my darkest nights, guides me through with a light so bright!
Wish in your arms to forever be held ever so tight,
Day & Night 😘💋
Revenge is Karma's double edged sword;
Only She gets to hold the handle...
...ALL others must grab the blade!
She posted NO Help Wanted signs, nor is any help desired!
You're only causing unnecessary pain to yourself when you seek to do her job!
(Besides you and you alone have managed to hurt me more than ANY others and yet I wish you no harm AND I forgive you!)
Just stop lying to your self,
lying to me,
lying to everybody!
You waited for my heart to be free and yet yours was never even an offer for me!
Keep your friendship, keep your fake care, keep everything YOU away from me!
Can't you see that you and you alone have destroyed me more than any who may have hurt me thus far!
Like I said b4 who is gonna have my back where your concerned?
You have ALWAYS hurt me had you ever stayed around long enough to see that, instead of running like you always fucking do then maybe you would've seen how destroyed I was every time I found myself losing you!
I'm fine, I'm good, I'm ok... If that's what u need to hear to make it all ok, to make you not b...
Forgive me if you will but I can't for the life of me remember our first kiss. I remember the "after"! I remember how I felt as I hurried up and closed the door to my room and pressed my back up against it! I can't for the life of me remember anything before that, only the thoughts of what had taken place! The rush, the excitement, the love...the wrong, the shame, the age gap making me the one "taking advantage" of you! I was so beyond confused as to how something so meaningful, so AMAZING, so loved & wanted, so RIGHT...could make me feel so wrong, so unworthy! As years passed and you constantly reappeared only to then disappear time and again, never staying long enough for me to grasp, wh...
I loved him cause he made me feel like YOU used to...
I'm crazy though and all my memories of YOU, of US, are just my imaginings!
So are the feelings then since they are connected one and the same!
"OH, is that ALL he took?"
Asked in a manner that suggested the less taken the more ok it was or something similar.
The A: "No, that's not all he took; he took my heart, my love, my trust, my ability to trust, huge portions of my faith, my hopes & dreams, my wishes...he took back EVERY single good feeling he EVER gave to me, he took the very essence of being me...from me!
But other than that...yeah that's all he took from me..."
💄 ⬅️Remember when I had ur back for this? I never told a soul that it was urs n not mine! What u didn't know, couldn't possibly know, is my heart broke more the further I traveled away from u and broken & devestated while feeling like a complete idiot for having such strong emotions for someone I thought I had only then just met. I mean who does that, so I only mourned the loss of you for a couple of days... Everytime I see even a basic real💄 that is!
I hate that I know things I shouldn't know & I hate that it makes people think I'm doing stuff I'm not or it effects how they perceive me! I understand why they do though cause hell I myself don't understand it all!
Maybe one day
someone will believe in me!
I never had any, other than being hurt!
So far that expectation has been exceedingly well met!
Now hopes, wishes & dreams well of those I've got many some still whole if barely, while some shattered but pieced back together struggling to be realized, while others are beyond dead and have long since finished rotting away that piece it took of me!
EVERY single hurtful word you viscously spit at me, especially knowing I'm not even the one at fault and the issue resides with you, chips away at the very glue holding those patched pieces together! I'm not nearly as strong or tough as some think, guess I should move to Hollywood become an actress, that's how convincingly great I...