Explore
Sign Up
Login

Brittany

PO# 234524
United States
United States
"I may be the one walking away but your the one that's leaving"- Daryl Dixon
February 4, 2019
Levelland, United States

She convinced herself she deserves the pain
That his hurtful words was his way of saying you mean the world to me
The cold shoulder she often got was his loving touch
His tears he spills when she said she had enough
Was his way of saying I need you

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
3
0
December 23, 2018
Levelland, United States

It’s said that in winter people with dark brown eyes are more depressed
My mom hears this and laughs
As she laughs she looks at me and asks Brittany do you like being depressed?

I want to say yes mom I do like to feel like dying every single day
The feeling of being worthless and unlovable is the best feeling in the world
The idea of going out and interacting makes me itch and want to take my skin off and cry all at the same time
Yes that is the feeling I want to feel
It excites me
Knowing that if I did leave I wouldn’t be missed
Now that one is my favorite

Knowing that you don’t care enough to actually take the time out and see if your daughter is okay
Wishing you would let me jump into ...

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
2
0
December 9, 2018
Levelland, United States

The honest love letter

The knife you have used is far to sharp. You engraved your name far to deep. The blood is now dried on the flower petals. Once blooming a bright snowy white. I can only write about love and loss. Since, it seems that’s all I felt

The happy times are hard to write about. Cause those I cherish so...so much I rather be a selfish child and keep them to myself.

Our happy moments are something special. Truly special like a grandmothers grandson. Keeping so high above her head with a crown upon his head. All that she couldn’t make his father. For this is her redemption.

You are my redemption. When I look at you I see all my wrongs made right. I dreamt a dream. I was layin...

BE BRAVE
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
2
0
November 20, 2018
 

I gave you my body
Letting you feel every part
With a tight grip and a soft hand
I gave you my body
In hope that it will somehow make up for my feelings
Pressing and rubbing against each other
I tried to give you what you wanted
Laid out in front of you like a buffet of your darkest desires
The fetishes that you never speak of
I gave you my body
In hopes that I will love you

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
2
0
October 14, 2018
Levelland, United States

Even though some days the dark cloud is low on me
Feeding me the hurt and pain all over again
I see you and my world is right
What he says doesn’t matter
I want to run to you
Jumping into your arms and never let go
You make me want to believe in Love again
I want to capitalize L in Love again
It is a word that I say with care
The care you have put me in of your heart
This is the life I want
To grow and laugh with you
See the sun set everyday
Knowing I won’t get hurt again
Even though the dark cloud is low on me some days
When sometimes the scars he made hurt more that day
Your words bring me comfort
A shield I can hide behind and know I’m safe
It’s all be a distant lesson now

WHITE CLOCK
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
September 26, 2018
 

Still willing to take the abuse
It's being to feel like love
You are my kryptonite
But, he is a dream
His words are sweet nectar dripping down his lips into my mouth
His touch is electric currents going through my body causing orgasms
Unlike anyone I met
Even you

But, when I look at you I feel the urge
The pull of my body
To run;  begging for your attention
Holding my soul up for your target practice

Your tongue the gun to my  wounds
The disrespect starts to feel like love
For I am my Mothers daughter
Picking the cactus as my favorite flower
His heart is pure
Full of certainty
He is the very thing I need
You are my disaster

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
March 18, 2018
 

Dear Brittany,

Very good morning dear..... I just gone through some of ur lettrs and I am really amaze by ur lettrs .....
The way u express ur pain in ur lettrs is really heart touching and I can relate to Most of ur lettrs ......

Most of us have gone through the same in life ..... even I am going through the same
But life is all about experience some are good and some are bad once.....
We just need to be strong and face the situation...... and move forward
I hope u will face this one also.....
All the very best dear...

I LOVE WRITING DAY
Thumb_1549644407
PO#607014
1
0
September 14, 2018
Levelland, United States

Those are the words you expect to hear from your mom
She is supposed to be your safe haven
Not someone you want to flee
She’s not supposed to call you
Slut
Whore
Or easy
They burn like after you put your hands in water then handled ice
The sting is a 3rd degree burn
Scaring you
Making you feel like the worthless piece of shit you are
Then after she hugs you and says I love you
Expecting the same back
When all you wanna do is turn your back
So I ask what is a mother’s love

DARK NIGHT
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
August 5, 2018
Levelland, United States

I am not able to give you the love you want
For I am a dried vessel that is decaying
My last drop has been taken long ago
When I still thought love was something I deserved
Please
Fear hides inside like a Halloween prank
Jumping out when I relax
It knows me all to well
My old love still haunts me
Reminding me that I am not worthy
This old vessel will shrivel away soon
An these bones will lay alone
Since they are not worthy

SAY HELLO TO SUMMER
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
August 5, 2018
Levelland, United States

You won
Taking my soul
I no longer love myself
When I look into the mirror
I do not see beauty
Instead...
Shame
Disgust
Hate
Stare back at me
You make me feel worthless
No man will ever love me
I’m the broken vase you put into the dumpster this morning
Good game

SAY HELLO TO SUMMER
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
March 17, 2018
Levelland, United States

I beg on my knees
Screaming and crying
What I give for a moment of peace!
I’ll rip my own heart out if I have to!
I’m in the kitchen....
The knives whisper to me
Their handles gleaming in the fluorescent lighting
I pick up the steak knife
The shape always amused me.
It’s odd wide curve
Blood dripping from my hands
Seeping into my fingernails
The warm muscle is heavy
Finale nerves dying. Pumping ever so slowly
I can feel the cool air going through me.
A gaping hole where you used to be.
I expected to feel agony
Or even my soul leaving
Floating into a sweet abyss
But I feel nothing.
Everything is numb.
As if all emotions evaporated
Like rain puddles in the July heat.
My heart...
YOU beate...

I LOVE WRITING DAY
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
0
0
February 15, 2018
Levelland, United States

I wish I didn’t want you
These feelings that over come me
I hate them
Angry tears flow
How dare you
You knew I was falling
An yet
You stood there an allowed it
Now I fallen to deep
You did all the right things
Touched me so gentle
Said what I needed to here
Where there when I needed you
Now you want to back away
I regret you

GREY AND WHITE
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
3
0
February 15, 2018
Levelland, United States

I let myself get wrapped up in you
You took my heart in to your hands
Keeping it hostage
I want you to hold it forever
We weren’t supposed to be like this
Tell me something
What do you want
I need to know
This can’t go on like this
Me loving you
Me not knowing where you stand
I don’t know how to put it into words
My mind can’t sort out what I need to say

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
0
0
February 12, 2018
Levelland, United States

You said you wanted to leave
Those words
They made my heart drop
She ruined you
She broke your heart
An know your breaking mine
I can’t lose you
The thought kills me
I hope wherever you go...
You will take me too

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
0
0
January 31, 2018
Levelland, United States

Everyday it gets harder
Everyday I fall deeper
Everyday you allow it
Everyday I feel you giving in more
But...
Everyday is closer to the end
Everyday makes me cry harder
Everyday your less mine
Everyday she gets closer
Everyday you become more her’s
Everyday you prove it to me
Everyday I see your not mine to keep
Everyday is harder to breath

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
0
0
January 29, 2018
Levelland, United States

I never thought this would be me
But...it is
I want to rip my heart from my chest
You still love her
After all she did to you
You still want her...
At first we where just best friends
Now it’s something more
But, you still choose her
We where unintentional
But, I find myself loving you
An you still loving her
Now she’s moving down here
An she will still get the best of you
You say, if she doesn’t
It’s over...but I can’t give myself false hope
I want you
I want all of you
Now that I could be pregnant...
I don’t want it to happen like that
I don’t want to be a last choice
You and I...I want cause we choose
Not cause you have to

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
2
0
January 2, 2018
Levelland, United States

I don’t want to go home
I don’t want to hear your voice in my head
I don’t want to see the slits in your eyes
I don’t want to yell
I don’t want to hear the hurt things you say
I don’t want to feel the anger inside me
I don’t want to avoid in my house
I don’t want to push you away, Mom
But...you make it so hard

A NEW DAY
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
0
0
December 18, 2017
Levelland, United States

I watched you leave
Wasn’t really sure what happened
I thought my soul died that day
Maybe it did
But...
He brought my soul back to life
Took my lifeless hand into his lively one
An when he did
I came back from the darkness
He showed me what Love is
I capitalizeLove for a reason
Reason is that I believe in it again
He taught me what it is to truly love someone
Who knew that God loves me so much
That he taught me one lesson
Just to give me a blessing
He is my blessing from God

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
0
0
November 14, 2017
Levelland, United States

Never thought I would be that person
The person to say these hurtful words
Or to even think them
I’m not sure why I feel this way
This kills me inside
I think we should take a break
Those words
There like a knife stabbing me
An I’m the one saying them
I don’t want to take a break
But....at the same time
I’m not sure where you stand

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
November 9, 2017
Levelland, United States

I feel like my heart is being ripped from me
Like your slowly taking it in your hands
I just beg you
Please be carful with it
It’s the only one I got

WORLD KINDNESS DAY
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
3
0
November 8, 2017
Levelland, United States

I don’t know what to do
I try not to listen to people
But this is all I think about
I love you so much
But...
It’s only been six months
Can you love someone in six months
People tell me not to give you my heart
To keep my wall that I worked so hard on up
My mom tells me not to limit myself to one person
I’m so confused
I love you
But....
I haven’t told you
An you haven’t told me
But....
Wait if I say I want to let my wall down
That means my guard is still up
Right
Does that mean I don’t love you
Or am I just in love with your potential

WORLD KINDNESS DAY
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
November 7, 2017
 

Your supposed to be there
Support me
Tell me it’s okay
But I guess all mothers don’t think so
I tell you my he’s coming home
Before getting deployed he wants to take me to meet his parents
I knew you would hate the idea
But I thought just maybe I would see joy in your eyes
No....
All I see is anger
Your not happy for me
Instead you think about yourself
Say anything to get me to stay with you
You may not be happy for me
An that’s okay
Cause I am

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
October 17, 2017
Levelland, United States

While everyone only sees flaws
You see everything else
The passion I have
The love I have for the world
My heart
Sometimes I feel so lost
But then you show up on my phone
An I smile
Cause I’m the end
God an you are the only ones that got me

DICTIONARY DAY
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
2
0
October 14, 2017
Levelland, United States

SOMEONE
I never thought I would be meet someone
I mean someone who doesn’t want to be a secret
Someone who wants to be together for real
As in hopefully getting married an what our kids be like
Someone who wants to know every little detail about me
Like what food I don’t like
Someone who has to talk every night before bed
As in fall asleep talking each other
But then I meant someone like you

DOUBLE THE FUN
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
1
June 12, 2017
Levelland, United States

God I messed up
I lost a lot
But most of all
I lost my Moms confidence
What once was their
Is now gone
All I see is disappointment
I messed up God
I'm sorry God
Please don't give up on me too
I know I'm a working progress
I have a lot of faults
I just wanted to have things like other people
But I see now I can't
God please I'm scared
I'm broken an lost
Show me away
Any away to fix what I have done

BALLPOINT PEN DAY
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
0
0
June 12, 2017
Levelland, United States

I smile when I hear the laughter of children
But then my smile fades
Remembering that mine will never be
A child run to there parent
Love in their eyes
Never able to feel that
Parents holding their newborn baby
I sniffle a cry
Thinking of what my family could be
But never be
I may hold your child's hand to long
Hug them to tight
No fretting
I'm just imagining my little family
A family that will never be
Don't mind a tear rolling down
It's just me trying to be strong

BALLPOINT PEN DAY
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
2
0
June 4, 2017
Levelland, United States

People staring
Waiting for her to talk
Already can feel pity stares
Just like the night at the hospital
It makes her wanna run an hide
She can still feel his hands
Squeezing her throat
Forcing her to do his will
Take away her soul
All the happiness flowing out
She's forever changed
Always scared
Looking over her shoulder
She tells the people her story
She looks at there faces
She sees pity tears
Genuine sadness
Some trying to imagine what she went through
I sit in the back with tears
She can't see me from the light
My tears are tears of experience
Some days I think his hands are still wrapped around my throat
Sometimes I still feel him
That day a lot was stolen from me
But most of all
He s...

SYMBOL OF FREEDOM
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
2
0
May 31, 2017
Levelland, United States

Sitting in the backseat
Watching my friends
Some singing
Some daydreaming
Surrounded by all these people
An still feel all alone
I feel empty
Somehow competing to be better
As if each person is the center of jokes
They laugh on the outside
But inside they feel the pain of there heart
Silent cries
Loud laughs

TINY QUEEN
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
2
0
May 30, 2017
Seagraves, United States

I went to see you today
Standing as if I never left
Thinking it was all the same
I seen it
The gash in your side
Parts jet black
Others exposing your base boards
Once a place
Now burned and forgotten
I realize there's nothing for me
People I love gone
People I wish not to see
I run from
Memories from you I hold tight
Some to make me laugh
Others to remind me
Things don't go the way they should
An why I'm the way I am

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0
May 29, 2017
Levelland, United States

Alone in the background
Never to be seen
I ask myself why
All the scenarios I think of
You would think one would make sense
My heart breaks a little more
Guys don't have secret crushes on me
Nor do they message me on social media
I get a little more sad
Guys don't ask for my number
I'm stuck on the sidelines
When everyone is getting lucky I'm getting lonely
Guys ask me about my friends
But don't ask my friends about me
I'm not the girl that guys like
There's nothing wrong with me
Guys just don't like me
Forever alone
I've fully given up on love
Not that there's not guy from me
I'm just not for them

KISS A PRINCE
Thumb_1550992530
PO#234524
1
0