I always seem to say the wrong thing. I guess my actions are pretty good but when it comes to saying how I truly feel from my heart I cause a disturbance that can't be forgiven. I'm still trying to undo my past. Still trying to release myself from the uncomfortable issues that have brought me to this very point in my life. Just when I feel I can open my mouth and speak the truth without causing said disturbance it blows up in my face. Feels like I have just said "I don't love you" instead of "let's try to make this better"... I guess I should just shut up and pay for my transgressions. Love. It's complicated.
Im raising an ADHD (w/ ODD) 8 yearold child. He is so talented and gifted. His brain is amazing. That's the positive portion of it. Then there is the portion that's not always so pleasant.
The melt downs, the growling, the constant noise, the repetitive crying, throwing tantrums, anxiety attacks, unnecessary roughness with his 3 yearold brother and sometimes his own parents.
I'm trying my best to understand him. Some days I feel like i see right into his soul. Other days it's as if his soul is about to swallow me whole just because I don't always understand. And then I have my melt downs.
If you are out there and you share the same experiences please feel free to respond. Write to me. H...
I can toot my own horn when I speak about the strength I have found ... Stuck in corners where I overlooked, underneath someone else's feet, being held captive in another person's hand. But Alas! I found it. And i refuse to let it go. So as I deal with this tension headache or migraine. Whatever the evil fuck this is... I pray for more strength cause I'm ready to tear the wall paper off the walls. 🤕😑🙄 Namaste.