|the only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion---Albert camus|
Love is not a hot house flower
Its a wild flower
Born of a wet night
Born of an hour of sunshine
Sprung from wild seeds
Blown along the road by a wild wind
When it blooms by chance
Within the hedge of our garden we call....a flower
When it blooms outside we call.....a weed
- Forsyte saga
What is most satisfying....
Most truth worthy......
बदलते हर मौसम का भींगा खुमार हो गया
तेरी याद न हुई .......
चढता बुखार हो गया
They call ...... broken
I call it shape
I call it lake
For them........I appear
A useless sack
Sometimes I drown
To bounce back!!!
I ran and
End up in
Tearing thorns from feet
But they say
"I m frantic.....and
If I had the opportunity to turn a switch, that made sure only good things ever happened to me... I would not flick that switch because if I do.....then....
Perhaps I may become a Cinderella but I I will never know that my world is a fairy tale.
Perhaps I will never feel pain again but what will be the feeling won't be happiness either!
How will I write on this App?
How will I acknowledge my insecurities?
How will I ever know what love is without facing its opposite that is - Ignorance!?
So I want to eat the apple.
Not because it taste sour
But to know what sweetness is!
Drawn into each other's fold
....... endless dawn
Wrapped in a sheet of gold.
"Does your family know?"
"Ran away to be ........with you forever."
Sometimes all you need is a word of inspiration
From someone who is your inspiration!
Don't let your eyes
Drown in lost woods
Of my dreamy forest
Don't let your cheeks
On the curtains
Of my corpse
Don't let your hairs
Swinging on shores
Run beside your ears
Don't let your lips
Let them celebrate
For my heart
Which still beats
I know your elder brother who was mentally retarded, passed away in 2017. May his soul be in peace.
Your grandfather passed away in 2018. He was and he is a godfather to you. I know his care, nourishment and sense of security will remain a void.....forever! Your grandmother has to be on bed as prescribed by the doctor for her back injury. You miss her the most, you want to meet her every time you think of her.
It's true that your mother gets panic attacks.
Its true that right now your father is hospitalized and his health is worsening.
Its true that your career has sloped down at the bottom making you jobless.
BUT THESE ARE FACTS!
And many a times facts are weaker than abstracts!
An unfurnished carved entrance
And unpolished edges
For feet walking without wedges!!
Empty bottles of Vodka and Bacardi
Swaying from plank to plank
Through 1 AM breezy waves
Echoing from seashore
With all those half lit cigarettes
In need of some more smoke.
She walked in
With empty feet
Planks devoid her
Of comfort or solace
Already the girl was running
Out from chase
The planks called out
To the sound of
Empty hurled bottles
And encumbered on edges and corners
To the noise of wattles
Yes, she want to be abandoned
In a strange company
A house of wood
Keeps growing in her mood
Was that my pain?
Or your anger taking gain?
Were those my complains?
Or your temper going insane?
That you sculpted this mortal
Into simmering ether
Caressing my feathers
.......Into endearing dragon
Our lips kept smacking in each other
Inhaling your coffee through my tongue
Jeweled in the
Invisible creases of your lips
Do I wear your love?
Measuring those curves
Into your palms
Nidificating in your arms
Do I wear your love?
Your teeth punching my ear bones
Your fingers like waves on shore
Archeologising the unexplored
Do I wear your love?
In return for my nails engraving your torso
How you kneaded my skin with flesh
Into the ether where silence slept
Weaving both of us into mess
Do I wear your love?
Love is a theatre....strangely
The characters laugh to make the other smile
They cry to amuse the other
They are clowns
Trying to perform their best...there is still no retake!!
The curtains never drop strangely
Because there is no exit here
Some calls it trap
And some calls it roads without map
Short story: Out of Order
Next station would be Danapur". The cabin attendant replied to my question. He could see and understand the urgency and impatience in my tone.
"But the train will stop merely for few minutes. How many luggages do you have?" He completes his doubts."I have three boxes , two blanket bags and one trolley". I answer.
"We will help as much as possible".Another attendant throws himself into conversation with a responsible smile.
The train stops but there is no platform on either side.
"Where is the train right now?" I enquire after gazing through window.
I have to step out no matter what happens.
" Please throw my luggages out from the train quickly!"
So, you went twenty days back and then came two days before in the campus. And now another session of the course is going to start. You have called me to come here to listen to that scolding which you could not say because you were late for 5 minutes for boarding your flight?
And what is that scolding about?
That I was late for boarding my flight for 5 minutes and it was all because of YOU!!
He didn't move, just slowed down his smile and listened to my vague arguments that I had never been late in anything in my life.
Were you really that eager to board your flight? He starts shuffling images of that day in his android.
Every time my past memories screams into present, it...
To remember someone with every word getting typed on screen.
To wrap one's feelings with the most toughest metal.
To unwrap them on paper,scribbled with blood.
Writing like looking into mirror.
Writing like staring at own eyes.
Writing like.......screaming in silence.
That's how much uneasy it is to ease that pain garnered from so many years.
It won't come with flow.
It can never come easily.
There is no relief when every grain of salt has promised to sprinkle over sores.
My name is Chetna. I m 24 yrs old, I m from India, and here are my few favorite things:
Book - A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry(there are actually many!!).
Sport - Too Lazy to indulge in any
TV Show - Not any
Movie - Get Out, The Shape of Water, Bol, Three Idiots
Food - Biryani with lots of yoghurt
Color - Green
Song/Album - songs of Rekha Bhardwaj, Kailash kher and Cardi B
How to play
And body on
In a dream
I know not
"Keeping eyelids closed, - the most comforting thing to do on beach - listening to the seashore...isn't it?"
"Isn't it, Chetna!!!" Priya wavered me and I was out of my thoughts momentarily.
"What did you said?"
"Isn't it pleasing to keep eyes close here?"
"Yes, indeed!". She could sense the demeanor.
Every time I close my eyes, those memories come to me as thunderstorm, lounder than the the voice of seashore hitting on the beach, the most wild creature on this earth perhaps.
There are thousands of reasons to comfort brain and pass judgement that I am not guilty of what has happened to me. But it requires an honest heart to acknowledge real fact that now my...
These black flames of my soul
Cursed upon the world
You are the universe
Within these eye's fold
Beyond the grey clouds
Melted red turning gold
Inhaling endless gleam
To breathe without blood
It isn't all about gravity
How this rain would flood
It isn't all about gravity
How earth would devour the ocean
Every inch a discovery
Every drop a rain
Turned tree of thousand leaves
Your every tasted grain
Aren't you that cruel star
In my veins turning crimson tar
Flows till the dark dimension
With no trace of time
My love - a mortal being
With immortal crime
Kendriya Vidyalaya, Hebbal
I hate her because of her figure. But his baby couldn't bear any criticism. He loves her!! I asked him if we(me and he) can go to the examination centre without his "baby". He denied. Knowing that I have no other option rather to take him and his baby to the centre, I tried calculating time to reach there, how much time will it take me to get ready, then at what time should I wake up and lastly when should I go to bed!! Meanwhile his interruption that it will save my time didn't changed my expression at all.
"Your bike is not safe enough". I exclaimed.
"Its not just a bike!! And nothing shall happen to you, take my words for sure". He replied.
Grey Top wit...
Aloo Paratha with Coconut Chutney
Right from terrible mood swings to the unstoppable excitement of explaining my favorite poems -dealing with him was a rollercoaster ride not for me but ......for him!!
He bought gulabjamuns for me when I had cravings for my favorite sweet. A messy hairbun which was an outcome of my sunday hair shampoo schedule was a moment to be captured in his android. His thoughts on periods(that every girl get 3 days of period) made me laugh. He didn't knew that girls bleed "back to back" for 4 days(on average).
"Yes we cannot take voluntary break from our periods, once it starts....nothing is in our hand!!"
"But that's too much!!" Perhaps he asked for a debate ...
Its been beautiful with Lettrs.
Everything changes from friends to roommates, professors, places, books, choices, food, climate but just this one app which anchors me towards my own self, towards my true being.
Like a warm hug, like an eternal and immortal belief.
Thank you for never making your presence felt and holding me firm.
Tere haar aasu ko samaandar sa jiya hai
Roshan jis se tere din huey wo meri aakhon ka diya hai
Iss raat ke pehre ne jaane kya kiya hai
Jo teri haar ek jakhm ko maine aahon se siya hai