|young woman just trying to put the emotions of life into words.|
I feel the sand between my toes. Warm and light.
I Bury one foot then another.
Swishing the sand between each toe.
One long deep breath of salt air fill my lungs.
The smell of humid salt wrapping around me like a security blanket.
The sound of waves playfully kissing the shores edge.
The water pushing back and forth, back and forth.
The seagulls crying, waves crashing, tall sea grass russling around; it's like Natures own sound track.
And I am her audience, sitting in awe of it all.
The moonlight reflects off the sea, the only sorce of light.
The night calm, not a single distraction near.
Stress, anxiety, fear, they all melt off my shoulders like an ice cube in the July...
His lips soft and inviting.
Hands strong and hypnotic.
He Breathes, I Breathe.
His thrust strong.
The pleasure Consumes my every thought.
His sent all over my willing body.
A glass cage, cold and sturdy.
I scream as loud as I can.
My voice horse; my throat lava.
1 drop, then 4.
My hands bloody and bruised.
The glass still smooth and strong.
I fall to the floor in an exasperated heap.
I. Am. Trapped.
The tears roll down her face like daggers into my heart.
I try to comfort her over the phone 35,000 miles away.
I stay with her on facetime.
1 hour fades into 3 then 5.
I have no choice but to watch her.
I'm still here; powerless.
As I lay in the darkness knowing full well I should be asleep, I am visited by an old foe.
One who has battled with me for years. It is a tiring battle each time.
Taking more and more of my will to defeat each time.
As the battle rages on I turn to one side hoping it helps, then the other side and back again.
Realizing It does nothing to aid my efforts, I let out a defeated sigh.
Anxiety has won yet again.
I find myself lost in a tidal wave of thoughts.
They race around my head on a never ending race track.
A sporting event i did not buy tickets to; As i sit in the stands begging to leave i am wraped in chains of curiosity.
It is demaning i find answers, oh how i long for the answers that will never arrive.
So i am left sitting.
For the end that wont come.
-A poem of anxiety-