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Chrisse Tiana

PO# 338483
Nigeria
Nigeria
Dev. Techie. Fil-Nig. Kidult. Foodie.
February 17, 2017
Abuja, Nigeria

I have so many things
That to wanted to say
But i only have you
And you dont want any of it
You said my insecurity is my issue
Not yours to deal with
So here i am
Weeping beside you
in the middle of the night
Waiting for when it will all go away
Or when i'd finally burst and give up

LOVE IS...
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January 2, 2017
 

"If you keep on telling the same old story,
you'll keep living the same old life."

CAN'T HANDLE IT
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January 1, 2017
 

There is nothing more
heartbreaking and soul-shattering than
being cheated on.
You literally question everything,
you ask how and where you came up short,
you lose confidence in yourself
and the things you do,
you find it hard to trust completely
or to simply be at peace anymore...


"Broken Faith"

I AM NOT
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January 1, 2017
 

Be with someone who
is sensitive enough to
understand your flaws and
respect your insecurities

LIGHT SWEPT
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December 20, 2016
 

I understand that you're busy
I understand what it takes to have you stay with me
But please also understand,
we need you in our lives
we need you now more than ever
I need you to help me through this
I need you to help me through it all


"Alone"

BACKBONE
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November 25, 2016
 

Will you always be like this
every time she calls?

Will you always choose not to notice
every time it happens?

PASSION
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November 25, 2016
 

"I know how you feel but it doesn't matter because this is work."

RESOLVE
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November 25, 2016
 

It's been so long.
So what has changed?
Nothing.

Still living in fear.

LIGHT SWEPT
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August 14, 2016
Abuja, Nigeria

It's been long since i last wrote.
And sadly, nothing has changed.
The struggle continues.

ASPHALT GREY
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May 18, 2016
 

Let’s go for a long walk
in the woods of your childhood,
and you can recount
your memories one by one.
Let’s watch our favourite films
back to back and not get out of bed at all.
Let’s celebrate the moments
rather than the years.
Let’s get drunk on each other
until we fall away into sleep
in each other’s arms.
I promise you a love like no other,
a love without expectation,
a love that loves you for all of you,
a love without forevers
but a love with roots that grew.


-Nikita Gill

EVERY DAY IS A GIFT
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May 18, 2016
 

I don’t want forever.
I want just now.
I don’t want always.
I want us to remember each other,
and that’s all we can promise each other really,
because in the end,
that is all human beings can do.

We are small,
and fragile and insignificant
in the grand scheme of things.
And the universe, nor time
is ever going to wait for us or love us,
or turn itself upside down
so that we can be together.
But that is just why it is so important
for us to treasure each other in this moment,
because this moment and each other
is all we have.

For who knows
if tomorrow will ever be the same?
Who can tell if tonight
is the last time we ever see each other again?

I would rather love yo...

CONQUERS ALL
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May 18, 2016
 

So no, I will refuse to promise you forever.

Instead, I promise you just now.
Instead, I promise you the present,
for it is the only gift
we really have to give each other.
In this moment,
I promise to love you
the very best I can possibly love you.
In this second,
I promise to give you my whole heart –
free of the past loves that have broken it,
and free of the future fears
of if you might break it.

In this moment,
I give you everything I can possibly give you.
So let us do the best we can,
live it to the fullest.
In laughter, let us laugh
more than we have ever laughed before,
and in love, let us love
more than we have ever loved before.
We do not know tomorrow,
s...

LOVE LOCKED
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May 18, 2016
 

R.A.G.E. is ultimately the gateway to healing.
You can then REMEMBER who you are,
that you are worthy,
and what you have learned.
You can ACKNOWLEDGE your hurt,
pain, needs, and your culpability.
While it is not your fault,
it may be a response to your actions
or behaviors as the other half of a relationship.
While you are culpable for
your contributions to the relationship,
you are not responsible for his choice.
The most important step of feeling R.A.G.E.
is beginning with GRATITUDE
in order to pave the way to GRACE.
There is always a reason to be thankful —
sometimes it’s the lesson learned
or the danger avoided.
Most of all, you can be thankful
for the strength to move...

BRAVERY
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May 18, 2016
 

Instead of dealing with
the reason he feels unfulfilled
in the relationship,
he chooses to get an escape.
This gives rise to a paradox in relationships —
men and women are often
frustrated with each other
for unspoken expectations,
yet they abdicate responsibility
for withheld communication.
They fail to take responsibility
for their choices by choosing
to remain silent and selfishly expect
the other person to know what they need.
They don’t have the courage
to tell their significant other
what they really need.
Unvoiced expectations
create disappointment and assumptions
that lead to misunderstandings.


"The Other She"

HEARTS CAN MEND
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May 18, 2016
 

Rage is a good thing.
Rage is the outward acknowledgment
of the hurt, pain, disappointment,
disgust and unworthiness
that a woman ultimately feels.
Rage that is suppressed
eats away at the soul and
slowly kills from the inside.
But a woman can’t get stuck
in destructive rage.
It will cause her to act out
on her feelings in a way that
will not only be unhelpful
but could land her in jail.

-Stephanie Barnes Taylor

RESOLVE
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May 18, 2016
 

Maybe he fell out of love since
Maybe he's just here because
he's so used to loving me
that it's become a mere hobby

I do not know

I'm scared
I'm so scared

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to think

I feel so alone.

NEVER GIVE UP
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May 17, 2016
 

I think
It will always hurt
but if--no, when--
by good luck and heaven's grace,
it stops hurting
and simply leaves a scar
i think it will be enough
to take a brief glimpse of it
then forget and let it go
because our love  should be
bigger than our mistakes
bigger than our flaws
big enough to stand,
brave enough to be  strong
good enough to be better
tough enough to survive
because baby, we are worth it
you are always worth it


"Second Chances"

CONQUERS ALL
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May 16, 2016
 

"It's in the past, but that doesn't mean I forget," she says. "Or forgive."
-Brienne, Game of Thrones

OUTLET
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May 16, 2016
 

True love means loving a person
even he never loves/loved you back
loving a person without
expecting anything in return
love is an expression
in some other ways of life
and in other love is affection
but the lesson i've learned is
love is not about possesion
it's all about appreciation


"Passion"

BRAVERY
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May 16, 2016
 

I miss him.
God, i miss him.
But as much as my heart is flowing with love
it is also laced and leaking with pain

I am bleeding.

I need him to keep me sane,
I need him to keep me going.

I need him to come back.

God, I'm losing my mind.

CODE RAIN
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May 16, 2016
 

I love you
Then that love started eating
a good portion of my heart, of myself
And now i don't have anything left

RESOLVE
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May 16, 2016
 

You deserve
someone who will look at you
as if they're gazing at the sun for the first time
someone who would see your storms
and would prefer to calm them
rather than sit back and wait it out
someone who will not entertain the thought
of being with someone else
the way they would entertain the thought
of not breathing for hours
someone who will not inflict pain
rather ask you to endure it
someone who is devoted to you
with or without your presence
someone who understands your silence and flaws
without the fear of judgement and rejection
someone who will always be there
and make you feel worth loving and fighting for
someone who will stay through your ups and downs
no quest...

BRAVERY
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May 14, 2016
 

How do you forgive?

How do you forgive someone
for breaking your trust,
your self-confidence,
your heart?

How do you forgive yourself
for not being good enough?

"The Other She"

ESCAPE
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May 14, 2016
 

I want to feel
how my husband made her feel.
I want to hear
the words he tells her.
I want to read
the messages he sends her.

I want to be her.

And I think that’s the worst thing of all.

I feel so worthless nothing can mend me.
I don't think anything can make it better.
No one can change a thing.

I am nothing.


"The Other Woman"

PASSION
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April 29, 2016
 

Sometimes just saying
that you hate something
and having someone
agree with you
can make you feel better
about a terrible situation.

-Lemony Snicket, A Bad Beginning

MYSTIC SCENE
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April 4, 2016
 

I am still on that phase
where i do not know
a lot about him, us.

I don't know how to deal with his anger
without getting frustrated
I don't know how to deal with his sadness
without getting depressed
I don't know how to give him happiness
without getting insecure
I don't know how to give him strength
without falling me down
I don't know how to love him as much
without hurting either of us


"Fears"

HEART
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April 3, 2016
 

Slowly it eats her hope
Slowly it devours her faith
It preys on her confidence
It feeds on her pain
And yet no one seems to notice
how she tries to put it aside
in, in, at the back of her head
yet she wakes with it
at the front of her mind
Her broken wing refused to fly
she calls for help
but no one
no one hears her cries
alone in the darkness
she battles with herself
insecurities, loneliness
sadness and paranoia
alone she faces her fear
cower, cry,
she fights with tears
alone she has always been
alone she will always be


"Fears"

SPINE
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April 3, 2016
 

I am so fucking clueless
about what I'm supposed to do
the next day
the next week
the next month
the next year

I don't know where I am
where i'm supposed to go
and the only person i can turn to
is busy fighting for survival

I am so lost and confused
with what's going on in my life

I do not know where to start again


"Lost"

SPINE
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April 3, 2016
 

He said i am holding us back
as much as i know it's true
i did not expect such cruel truth
from the other half of my soul


"Shattered"

BACKBONE
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April 1, 2016
 

Sometimes it feels like
you're just waiting
for everything to totally wither
so it can finally fade away

No more hopes
No more dreams
Just lying and waiting
Waiting for that slow decay


"Slow Decay"

MOMENT IN THE SUN
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