If you’re not comfortable with it,
you need to talk to about it.
Let it be known why it bugs you
and if it’s something you’d be able to work past.
If you can’t be open with each other
and respect each other's feelings,
then you’re probably not all that compatible.
I hate how you feel for them
and not feel anything for me
I hate how you consider them
and be so insensitive to me
I hate how you see and admire them
and ignore thoughts coming from me
I hate how foolish you make me feel
and how i grovel at your feet
I hate how you sleep so soundly
when i cry myself to sleep
I hate how you're always chill, always fine
and how you cant seem to be mine
mine and mine, totally, completely
Feelings of love and intimacy go deeper.
Not because they found happiness,
but rather they have each other.
One day, i'll overcome you.
One day, i'll get over you.
One day, i'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I saw it and then i felt it.
First it was cold, very cold.
Like an icy hand just touched my soul
and it resonated right through my heart.
It was very cold.
It was very silent.
And then it shattered.
Everything i hold dear
shattered within me.
I felt myself crumble
over and over again.
It was weakening.
It was terrifying.
And it keeps happening.
My heart keeps breaking.
M breath keeps seizing.
My senses keep shattering.
Again and again,
My world keeps imploding.
Being stuck with a person
who you thought loved you
cared for you
and placed you on a pedestal
Being stuck with someone
who changed faster than a blink
who challenges your stability
criticizes your worth
and trashes all your effort
Being stuck with this man
is the saddest prison and
the greatest punishment
i have willingly walked into.
we had enough.
and that's enough.
can't go back and i won't.
go and keep reaching for your dreams.
you're good at it.
just keep yourself with you.
it's more than a crack in the wall
it's a whole lot bigger than we thought, yeah
a hammer and nail won't fix it this time
so bring on the wrecking ball
it's like we've been drifting along
pretending like nothing's wrong, yeah
we play the game, keep up the charade
but when the river runs dry we're on different sides
you wait for rain and i chase the storm
we just don't see it the same way
you say you want change but you're never sure
we can't go on like this anymore
cause at the end of the day
you wait for rain and i chase the storm
-Kyler England, "You wait for rain"
Two separate entities
trying so hard to be together
fighting, clashing, destroying each other.
They said when it's real then it'll be worth it.
But is happy ever after still at the end of the tunnel
when along the way we've proven
that being together is not the best for each other?
They said when you get married,
two will become one.
But how come i'm the only one fighting
the only one protecting
and the only one fearing for us?
Guess we're not one, after all.
Have an affair.
I'm tired of fervently hoping you won't anyway.
Let me admire
This beautiful, wonderful woman.
And tell my wife not to feel bad about it.
Why must she?
I didn't do anything wrong.
I'm simply admiring someone else
When i know she needs my admiration too.
Let her be. She'll be fine.
"My life in his eyes"
Live your life.
You have options,
Do what you want.
Choose what you want.
Go where you want.
Be the best.
Always be you.
Live your life to the fullest.
So in the end you don't blame me
for all the missed chances
and all your could have beens.
-The greatest gift i can give is your freedom
I am on my way.
To that point when i no longer care.
To reaching that freedom from my insecurities
fueled by your insensitivity.
To getting that wholeness that doesnt yet belong me.
To living the life without a gaping hole in my heart.
To having the freedom from the heartaches and pain.
To being that person who i always wanted to be.
To being me. A me without you. Just me. Me.
I'm on my way.
soon, i will get there.
I'm on my way there.
I don't even know where it hurts anymore.
Is it just me?
Is it just in my head?
Is it my heart?
The pain just echoes.
It echoes everywhere.
It's so tiring
To live and wake up every day
Waiting for the next heartbreak to happen
He may not hurt her physically
But he has abused every inch of her
Mentally and emotionally
He knows i am upset.
He knows why i'm upset.
He knows how to get me upset.
Simply, i ask him to choose.
Again and again, i lose.
He wouldnt do anything about it.
H doesnt see wrong in what he's doing.
He doesnt understand what im feeling.
He'd simply leave me,
Wait until im okay again.
Just like that,
as if nothing happened.
Because to him,
my feelings dont matter.
I dont matter.
He said he loves me.
But everytime he's caughtt
between me and something else
Or me and someone else,
I never get to have the upperhand.
I always lose.
In his list of important things,
I'm never at the top.
I'm always at the bottom,
Always losing to them all.
I want to cry.
I want to cry it all out.
I want to get mad, lash out
I want to lose it just to get rid of it.
But i feel depleted.
She needs me to be strong for her, us.
But i feel so lost and empty and alone.
I don't know what to do.
I am so tired.
I want to go far, far away.
I want to go home.
And yes, it hurts.
Fuck, it hurts like hell.
You know that feeling when
you know something is about to crash and burn
but you still try to be optimistic about it all?
That's my marriage right there.
I feel it weakening, decaying, fading.
I don't know why or when it started exactly,
there are many things i can think of.
But the most i can do is try not to care.
That's the best thing i can do for myself
and for my child.
I can't even cry anymore.
It hurts so bad i can't cry anymore.
I just feel numb.
Or at least i want to feel that way.
I am so tired.
I am so, so tired.
It feels like it is gone.
Whatever was there before
Is not there anymore.
The thirst has been quenched,
The hunger has faded.
All that's left behind
Are good memories and
reality that's jaded.
Her issues never mattered to him.
So he let her be.
With her paranoia and fears,
her flaws and insecurities,
He let her be.
Alone with her uncertainties,
He let her be.
I have so many things
That to wanted to say
But i only have you
And you dont want any of it
You said my insecurity is my issue
Not yours to deal with
So here i am
Weeping beside you
in the middle of the night
Waiting for when it will all go away
Or when i'd finally burst and give up
"If you keep on telling the same old story,
you'll keep living the same old life."
There is nothing more
heartbreaking and soul-shattering than
being cheated on.
You literally question everything,
you ask how and where you came up short,
you lose confidence in yourself
and the things you do,
you find it hard to trust completely
or to simply be at peace anymore...
Be with someone who
is sensitive enough to
understand your flaws and
respect your insecurities
I understand that you're busy
I understand what it takes to have you stay with me
But please also understand,
we need you in our lives
we need you now more than ever
I need you to help me through this
I need you to help me through it all
Will you always be like this
every time she calls?
Will you always choose not to notice
every time it happens?