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July 29, 2020
 

I messed it up with her. Unlike last time i know she isnt coming back this time. Police notified me that in confirmation. I havent talked to her for about a week. It sucks it hurts. I would like to just move on and find a girlfriend right away but that hasnt solved my problems before nor will it after. So instead, im trying to take care of my mental health. I lied to her and said i was on medication even though i wasnt just so she would stay. I feel horrible for even lying and in the end it was pointless because i got too controlling and she left anyways. I found out i have borderline personality disorder, most people dont get why i act the way i do, and now i, i atleast finally understand so...

FEEL IT WRITE IT
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July 20, 2020
 

It sucks. The love of my life i feel like is lying to me. I have borderline personailty disorder so mayne it could all just be my thoughts. But my gut is telling me that its not right and i dont know what to do anymore. Shes changed so much within the last year. I would usually just let a girl go to find herself and try to find happiness elsewhere, but ive never loved anybody so much. She says she loves me the same and i believe it through all the shit ive put her through when she is still around. But i just dont feel right about it. Ive been sttessed regardless of her or not that she doesnt understand and now im at q point where i dont want to elaborate anymore. Why does life have to be this...

WRITING IS LIFE
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July 2, 2020
 

So much has happened since I last wrote on here. The love of my life came back. Right when I had interest in finally moving on with someone, who I ended up ruining for my love that I've talked about so much on here. Though she said that she would never leave me and we planned on moving in together, she freaked out after getting really distant. She broke up with me and said it was for the stupidest reason. Now it just hasn't been good at all between us. I'm to the point where I want to let her go so she can do whatever she desires. Hardest decision I have ever had to make. But I give up on trying for someone who clearly wants to chose their own path.. without me. I guess I shouldnt have to ask...

TAKE TIME TO WRITE
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June 1, 2020
 

I just want her love. I want to love you again. These times are impossible. Never have been so lovestruck. I just dont get it. I just should've never lost it. Now I suffer without. If any of you who happen to stumble upon this reading... Have you ever fallen in love with someone so hard that there's nothing out there in the world that can make you stop thinking about the precious moments you two have had? When you wont let anything or anyone  smear the window that she drew a heart on with while it was steamed? Just to embrace the nostalgia. Or keeping a photo you took when she was happy and never ever deleting it, just so you can remember that exact moment? Well I seem to be the only one, the...

SIMPLICITY DAY
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June 1, 2020
 

Why must I not be able to forget about you like you have forgotten about me. Why did i ever have to catch feelings for such a heartless gal. Story of my life i guess, i was seemingly designed for failure which is what i do best at. You took my heart and tore it into a million pieces and could never care less. I guess that's what I deserve, right. You unblocked me for what, either you forgot everything and dropped it, or you want me to see you with someone else for even more torture. You have no idea what has happened to me these last 7 months. I question why am I doing all this worthless stuff like staying celibate and staying single for a girl who clearly doesn't want me. Maybe she wants me ...

SIMPLICITY DAY
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May 19, 2020
 

In case you ever read this someday, I have learned my lesson.. I put you in a toxic place, I get why you dont want to be around. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made and I wish I could have a timewarp so I could go back and remember what not to have done, but what's done is done. If you ever get the courage to talk to me again, I will never ever take a moment for granted, ever again. I will be the man you wanted. There are so many things I wish I could just show you, to let you finally belive in me. To see I'm not like the rest and that I  do learn. I succumbed to the change and grew from it. . I doubt you will come back, you act like I'm not on this planet anymore. I wish I meant some...

THE KISS
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April 18, 2020
 

Crazy how everything was six months ago. So infatuated with a girl, it was too quick when we decided to jump right into things. I told her I loved her too soon, but she said it back. I think it was one of the worst mistakes I ever did because I ended up losing my bestfriend, my soulmate, my everything. I wish I could take it all back. I suppose the past is the past, and if you ruin things, well.. you have to deal with it. It took me some time to try to get over it. it's still hard to surpass the very thought of everything without bursting a few tears. If you ever read this, just know I still love you and I will forever wait for you. You were the only gal who was worth anything to me. The only...

SIMPLICITY DAY
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April 14, 2020
 

I think about you and the kiddo everyday and everynight. No matter what's going on your still just a part of my past that I cant seem to let go, no matter how much I try. I know you've forgotten about me.. I miss being able to tell you that I love you every night and every day. You and Quincy were my everything. The way we used to rub eachothers noses and giggle before we kissed. The way you would say that three worded phrase. The way you pretended I never existed.

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SIMPLICITY DAY
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