Like the silk curtain you are blurred.
Like the nightmare that was just had, but barely memorable.
The dull pain remains.
The dull pain always remains.
I've embraced a constant luke warm knife to the chest.
So accustomed to this, there isn't much pain to fear.
I stand in a forest in the blackest night, but the breaking of tree limbs no longer brings the slightest startle.
Numb to fear or pain, but constantly in dull agony.
It's looming isn't it?
This feeling of remorse.
As there has been a loss.
Perhaps there has been.
The feeling that there really isn't another person that will be able to conceive this mind, our mind.
That loss if breath, yea that's it.
That feeling that maybe the path you chose was illustrated in your own blood.
The realization that more success doesn't mean more happiness or true love.
Too bad it only comes once.
She said her favorite color was when the sun barely kisses the horizon and paints the sky..
Ankles contort with the swiftness of the under current in the merciless salty deep.
Desperate hands grasping for anything to regain control only grip sand.
The groaning sea thrashes beneath the surface as if it is alive and angry.
The type of anger that drives one mad.
The type of anger that won't let go.
The type of anger that instills fear.
We kick and stroke trying to be set free from this fear and release ourselves from the clutches of the vicious blue.
Swimming to the surface just so we could catch even the slightest glimpse of hope.
The idea of being permanently surfaced becomes a naive thought.
The only thought is the drive ...
Fight and Flight
These clouds fly by me and the cold mist hits my face.
It's too high up here; Never thought I'd say that.
It is so beautiful in this blue sky, but it is so cold.
When will I finally hit the bottom?
I grow tired of this perpetual plummet.
I passed an airplane on the way down today i miss that, I miss that feeling of a planned route, a predetermined destination.
I miss flying yet I've been falling all along.
I can't take them with me, they deserve more than that.
I love them so much, but they see me fall, they see my struggle, my weakness.
I just hope it doesn't go unappreciated.
I hope that this sacrificial dive does not go unre...
A Fires Demise
The warmth of the flame as it unfolds and dances.
The life it beholds so vibrant and filled with awe.
A force that carries on with resilience and continues to grow as it feeds.
With every second the strength of the flame continues to grow more and more undefeatable.
It prances with such confidence and fears nothing for it feels everything is in reach, Denied from this is the flame as a cruel tide rolls in much like the air in a summers breeze.
Frightened and dismanteled the flame can only watch in amazement and fear now knowing there is a force capable of constricting its very life and in time eradicating it.
The sweet em...
His name is Misery
Sit and listen you can hear it ring.
It grows louder and my ears cannot bear it.
Place your hand on my chest and you can feel it's alive.
It's scrapes and claws within me not knowing how to make its way out.
Selfishly it gets aggravated and grasps the base of my throat expecting me to set it free, I cannot.
It begins to ricochet through my head trying to find a comfortable home when there is none.
My tears in confusion of thier sadness trickle down my cheeks and even than it tries to follow them in an attempt to escape but it cannot.
My stomach cannot take in anything for it is full of this creature called misery.
The breath that was stolen from me.
Orange cream sky replace that which has been taken, this I beg of you.
Ripples in these half dried puddles, do not try to disorient this sealed fate.
Sorrow ridden expressions turn to a half cracked smile.
Oh how the clouds graciously dance with this dosing sun.
Ocean breeze douse and clense me of this woe, and let the salt dry what little tears remain.
These blades of green tickle my fingertips reminding me how it once was to not be numb.
A smirk turns to a soft and very brief giggle.
Bone chilling night that begins to blanket me show me even the slightest of your mercy.
Immersed mind buried deep within the shadowy spaces of my heart.
I feel and taste the salt water on my bottom lip as it continues to rise.
Even the night sky looks to me with sympathetic eyes.
The barbed wire I sleep and tread on has become all to familiar and persistent.
My ears ring with the sound of low tone voices and the words "everything will be just fine" bounces off of me like rain to a window pane.
My face like a mask displaying what wants to be seen, but not the ghoul behind it.
Indecisive misdirection counteracts the concept of normalcy, purity, and happiness.
These misconstrued ideas of what I am or what I'm not...
That was my final atrempt.
There are no more distractions to keep this astray.
There is not a single moment where you do not dwell in my mind.
You a buried to deep.
I have been consumed, condemned to never be released by you.
Here I lay foolishly thinking there is a way.
Pondering at the idea that there may be a way to relinquish you from thought.
A way to extinguish this feeling you've embedded in me.
I ball my fists, but lack the strength to raise them.
I've already exhausted what little fight I had left.
I have lost myself in you.
I have lost the strength to combat you.
I have lost to you
Dear Drew Bartkiewicz,
Thank you so much for your great compliments, it's great to hear. I has so much going on while I was on deployment I disappeared. Now that I'm back home, I'm back at it again. Only thing that bummed me out was all my old letters somehow deleted themselves. So I guess I'll have to repost them. Great to hear from you again though. Thanks for the warm welcome back! If there's anything I can help with to get involved with Lettrs just let me know. I love this community.
There it is the pain I faught so hard to relinquish; the one I could never of imagined feeling again.
That drug that pulls me back in.
That raw and malicious claw to my chest.
The complexity of its intention is so much more than that though.
I am a drunk that sips on the lips of love, and gulps the blood of her warm heart.
With every fiber of my being I say no, I resist.
I try to fool the ecstasy into thinking I am to much of a monster, a crook, a mere shadow of what I truly am.
Fooling that of which has conquered every man is an ignorant and arrogant attempt.
It is this pain I fear and when struck I wince ...