It feels like it is over. It feels like this is done.
Over two years of drama and heartache. Now what have we become?
I have given up hope that we will ever make amends. Can a narcissist and an empath truly ever be friends?
I have often heard what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves.
I never thought me trying to stay by your side as toxic. I never considered that sharing my life so openly with others as being negative. At times I don’t care what others think, does that make me selfish for living life my way? If you are pointing fingers at me, do you not recognize any of those things in yourself, that way?
I guess people would rather you be silent and unseen. Maybe more like a memory, until easily forgotten.
I don’t want my life to be that way.
I want to be seen and heard and remembered for who and what I am . If that makes me wrong then I will be wrong over and over again. I will continue to be me a...
For me these feelings were never pretend.
I wanted this love to never end.
For you maybe it was over long ago.
I just never wanted to see that it was so.
I spent so much time wishing and hoping to make something more out of our connection.
Somehow the feelings faded due to your lack of affection.
My love for you always seemed a bit one sided.
Somehow, even when I showed I cared, you somehow felt blighted.
Call me stupid or call me insane
It will be hard for me ever to love anyone the same.
I wish we could do so many things, but wishing and hoping, regrettably, rarely changes things.
~Yearning For You~
The connection we used to share was so intense.
You were my obsession I have to admit.
It used to seem like you were always on my mind.
Now I think about you only most of the time.
You seem to slip away from me more and more everyday.
I wish that I could do something to convince you to stay.
Why oh why can’t our dreams come true?
My heart will always be yearning for you.
I thought of you and cried again today.
Why do these feelings torture me in various ways?
Tell me what to do or what you want me to say.
I don’t want you to leave, please just stay.
I need you each and everyday.
Some days I sit and wonder is everything my fault?
I became friends with a man and gave him my heart.
For some reason to me it felt like it was real.
For him it was a game, and I am still trying to heal.
Memories of dreams that may never come true.
The thoughts of these things really make me feel blue.
Hope gives me a future, of colors in every hue.
I don’t fully understand how to conjure my fate.
All I can do is pray to the Lord and wait.
Maybe one day God will bring my soulmate.
Dear friend that can can feel my feelings and seems to know my every move,
Just FYI you are driving me nuts. If you are not making an effort to be a part of my life, what do you want from me?
Stop being so wishy washy and go after what you want. Stop sitting on the sidelines with your feelings and man up.
P.S. This cycle is growing old. Let’s try to move on to the good stuff!
~Not Just a Dream~
Were the moments we shared only a dream? We met, not so long ago, it seems.
I hope and pray that we are not so far apart. I guess that is true, because you are always in my heart.
Damn it, I want to be with you now. I don’t want anymore time to pass us by. Please don’t make me beg any more. Like a petulant child I wait at the door.
I would only be so lucky to be able to call you my man.
Would you feel just as lucky to be able to hold my hand?
Let’s close this distance and let’s be seen. I want you now and not just in my dreams.
I let you back in because it was my choice.
I won’t beg for your attention.
I grow tired of the fights.
The door is open for you should you choose to speak.
I love you enough to let you be free.
I won’t allow my forgiveness to get the best of me.
Send me someone who knows what he wants and does not play games. Someone that will not treat me poorly and act as though I am unworthy or that the love I give is not enough. Someone who appreciates what I try to do to show that I care. Someone who does not play hide and seek. Someone who does not always push me away. Someone that cares enough to want to stay. Someone who does not think that I am a drain on their energy. Someone who wants to be there for me. Someone who knows that I am not perfect but loves me anyway. Someone who thinks I am the girl of his dreams. Someone who would never, ever treat me mean. Someone I can trust mutually and completely adore. Someone who does not ...
They say that music can sometimes say things that you feel inside......
Thank you, Aerosmith...
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight
That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings
I agree that life is a journey and not a destination. Who knows what tomorrow brings? So until then we enjoy the ride and I hope that one day, I will be by your side.
~Out of Whack~
Just breathe and count to three. You can do it. Don’t stress. This is what I tell myself when things seem chaotic and feel like a total mess.
I feel heaviness weighing me down, especially on my heart. I don’t want to feel gloomy or allow myself to fall apart.
I wish things in my life did not feel so uncertain. I try to vibe higher and to be a positive person. Negativity seems to find a way to allow the doubts to come back in. Anxiety is getting to me. Oh no, not again.
I don’t know why I always feel that I am under attack. Paranoia, Abandonment issues and Karmic energies have me feeling out of whack.
Dear God, please guide my path and show me the way to bliss. I don’...
Somedays I sit in silence and wonder why things happen the way they do. I often wonder what were all the things I did that truly upset you.
I have often been told that I think too much. I think of all of the scenarios and replay them over again. What else should have been done? What else should have been said? Wishing to go back and change things that we did that caused us to fall apart.
I never thought for once that silence was the answer. I just thought to not speak of it would kill all of the angry words and aggression. Sweeping it under the rug because I do not do well with confrontation.
My apologies to you because in the end I hurt my lover and my very best friend. I on...
I have learned some self respect. There are things I will no longer do.
There were crazy things, back then I was willing to do for you. I thought I had to do those things to keep you in my life, but I still managed to lose you then and caused myself some strife.
When I made those decisions I had low self esteem. I was vulnerable. A silly girl living in a dream.
I want you to understand that I don’t love you any less. I am just loving myself more and want us both to have the best.
Everywhere I go, I look for you. I feel you in everything I do. When someone messages me I wonder if it is you. All throughout my day I think of you. I just would love to be near you. It all comes back to you.
They say that long ago, we signed up for this.
The other half of your soul you always miss.
I guess at the time we imagined pure bliss.
Who imagined it would be as hard as this?
These lessons have been hard and I don’t like to relive or reminisce.
I just wish this pain did not exist.
In the end I want to be with you, and I am sorry if I persist.
Dear Twin Flame what can we do to have bliss?
~I Am Worth It~
There are always two sides to every story my dear. From my side you were a man of talk and no action. Always using the Law of Attraction.
I grew up being taught that a man goes after his dream. That he does not sit back and wait for the Queen. A man knows what he wants and takes action.
A man does not play silly games and frivolously throw love away. Does not let what he wants run away without coming after it.
Because I know the name of the game and how it works, I won’t show up on your doorstep. I am not a pawn in this game. I will make you work for it, because I am worth it.
So when you can stop being so conflicted about what you feel, call me and be real. If you f...
Say I am negative, even though I forgive. Say I have ulterior motives, just because I give and give. Say we had misunderstandings, more than just a few. I told you that I would always be here for you.
Say that I never loved you even though I held on for so long. Say what you need to without playing your love songs. Say that nothing is ever your fault, you had no part to play in breaking my heart.
It is no wonder you have problems finding “The One”. You can not ever trust if it really is Love. I hope you find someone you can trust one day. Please let them in and don’t push them away.
I tried and I tried to be that one for you. You never seemed satisfied no matter how much I trie...
They say that you are supposed to make your dreams come true. Sad however, when that dream becomes a nightmare and ends up crushing you.
You wrestle with your inner turmoil and fight to hold on.
Even though, in your gut you know it is wrong.
Then when people learn of your dream. Ego steps in. You have to give it all you got. You have to push through to the end.
Spirit says just stop now. Let go. What you are doing is a sin. You have put yourself in such a terrible spin.
Your reputation has been lost and loved ones hurt along the way. Let go of your selfish pride and learn to walk away.
This girl has had her fair share of ups and downs, but now refuses to stay knocked down.
Like a phoenix from the ashes I rise once again, and now I stand firmly with hope in my grin.
Loving myself has not been a priority of mine. I gave and I gave, but spared no “me time”.
Self love is my new mantra, and to find happiness within. This is now something I choose to begin.
Giving back to myself is not selfish, you see? I have to work on building a better me.
So if I make plans and back out or don’t reply right away, I am just choosing to love myself more on that day.
~Serendipity and Fate~
I felt comfortable sitting next to you even then. Something about you seemed so familiar. It was as if we were saying hello as old friends.
We locked eyes one February night and from then on I could feel you in my heart, soul and head. It seemed so crazy for us to meet when we did. I was in a relationship and you were talking to another as a friend.
Even though the Universe fought to keep us apart. We could not explain what we felt in our hearts. Like a moths to a flame, we flirted with danger. Until we each did things to damage our souls and then we parted ways more like strangers.
It is so hard to not talk to the one that you talked to every day. To me it felt...
~Conversation of Heart and Mind~
Heart and Mind have a meeting. They try to decipher what the angel may be feeling.
Heart says to Mind, “Whatever do you think?”
Mind says to Heart, “So hard to tell....I know she does not feel red or pink.”
Heart says to Mind “Aren’t there many other colors?”
Mind says to heart “Oh yes there are many, many others. I think, today she is grey like a cloud full of rain. Her emotions betray her and she cries to release the pain.”
“Somedays she feels blue because she lost her best friend and things feel like they will never be the same again.”
“Her soul feels black somedays and burdened with sin, but she always opens her heart to let the color of love ba...
I always took the blame for how you reacted. I somehow felt that I deserved whatever pain you exacted.
It kills that you never felt the need to apologize for all of the trauma that I internalized.
A raging sea is what my soul has has become. My heart has lost its compass and my mind has come undone, but my forgiveness is always second to none.
My love will always be your lighthouse and I beam my light for you to see. My Captain please drop anchor and calm my raging sea.
My friend where have you gone?
Why do you hide away?
I wish you would speak to keep my fears at bay.
My energy is drained from trying to be so strong. This all feels like a joke. Am I being strung along?
You seem so conflicted, tormented and confused. Believe me, I know I seem to feel it too.
I am always here for you no matter how far you drift. My heart only knows forgiveness. I guess you would call it a gift.
My soul cries out daily and it speaks of your name, but my mind should know things may never be the same.
My heart remains broken and I feel all of this pain. If you only would speak and quit playing these games.
Help me understand the Law of Attraction. In my opinion it causes more chaos than good.
How many relationships have been ruined due to a stalemate? When one side is going for what they want and the other side is resting on their laurels because it is not coming to them exactly how they dreamed it to happen or how they want that person to be?
Who can stay positive and grateful 24/7 to get what you want and have it come to you?
I have always been the praying type, but I also feel you have to put effort into it also. You can't just be silent and not express yourself or not communicate and expect things to work for the good.
If someone is showing you that they care about y...
Life is a constant test of trial and error. That is not a bad thing because mistakes are to be learned from. With every mistake you make you learn how not to do things or how to do them better. Or if you don't learn then you repeat the same cycle over and over again and get caught in a loop.
I had to learn to quit repeating a situation over and over to only make it worse. Allowing memories to constantly play on repeat. Always wondering why things turned out the way they did. Wishing to go back in time to erase the damage done. Wondering why someone reacted the way they did to what I thought was showing kindness, but they did not see it that way.
This process only causes mis...
I try to be positive and happy as much as I can....
But do you ever get into a situation where you feel darned if you do and darned if you don't and you don't know how to fix it, and because you don't know what to do, it brings you down?
Ever try and try to show you care and you don't know what else to do?
It just seems at times that no matter how sour things may have gone and how right you try to make it, that maybe that person will never feel right about you again.
At what point do you give up? I guess my dilemma is that I don't know how or when to give up. I keep trying every day. Am I foolish to continue down that path. I can only hope at sometime, it will be enough. I...
Texas is strong and proud, but Houston and our coast cities are in peril and need all of us now. I have seen much sadness on the news and on social media regarding the floods, but I have also seen the goodness of mankind and oh so much love.
God bless all of these men and women risking their lives to save everyone they can, even the furry kind.