Why is it that we can't talk about death without panicking. Dying is something no one can escape! But for some reason we can't talk about it with loved ones without being depressed or feeling like somehow we got cheated. We were born to live and die. Please if you read this I am okay. This isn't a silent cry for help. Just the things my mind thinks about. (I over think thinking so what can I say) Why don't we talk to our kids or loved ones, so we don't leave them in a really fucked up mental state? Why don't we highlight the things we believe death brings? This can't be it, so why not talk about the Paradise we hope some make it to one day.
I really am sorry for what we've become!! I swear I didn't want things to be this way. It hurts more than you will ever know, with you I never thought I'd feel alone.... You were my comfort zone!!! As long as you loved me that was the only STABILITY I NEEDED. Now I feel like you can't stand me. Please don't pity me. It hurts worse thinking you just feel sorry for me me. I don't need to hear you say you love me!!! I need you to hold me while out hearts speak!!! Sometimes I'm to much for even me! I EXPECT things Super man can't even reach!!! Please just love me like the Thomas I pray will still marry me ❤️
Night's like this
Hurt the most
Out of my comfort zone
Anxiety fully exposed
Mind in a rage
Stuck in the pain
Emotions I can't change
I sit alone
I start to throw
Now I'm psycho
You're in Beast Mode
You're hands you can't seem to control
Got me questioning
Why I didn't just stay at home
In my comfort zone
Am I the only one???
But....... It seems like this whole "coronavirus" started right after we learned how since Trump has been president we owe CHINA billions of dollars! Listen, I'm not in no way dogging Trump as a man! Because I've always thought he was very smart. I mean. You aren't Donald Trump for nothing. As a business man hey you've got my full support. But since we've as a country started to hear about this trillions of dollars worth of debt shit has seem to gone down hill from there. I feel like if you're the president then why not just print these mother fuckers some money and be done with it. Ok I'm not completely retarded and I get it that it's a little more complicat...
Why are you always so tense? You know you're not very good at hiding you're anger. Why are you so mad anyways? I know things haven't been"Ideally Perfect for you" but this is the real world sweetheart. If you let go of some of that anger maybe you will be able to accept the love others give you.
WEEKLY CHALLENGE / NO RULES
Since the beginning of time mother's have lived by certain rules. Rules we don't get the cheat codes for. Don't do that, no do it like this, that's too much, and that's not enough. We're so quick to tell mother's what their doing wrong because it's not how we think it should be.
So What is a perfect mom? How does a woman know she's doing it right?
So if j were to wake up tomorrow and there were no rules ... I'd be the momma I've let society deem unfit. I'd be the momma my anxiety has frozen inside of me.
What do you do when you're left alone and you're stuck with just you?
Do you catch up on you're favorite show?
Do you crank up the radio, because in silence you can't be alone!
Maybe you're a busy body so you clean what's already clean!
Do you sit for hours stuck scrolling on you're phone?
Me I usually sit in the bathroom because it's the only place I feel at home.
I guess after the fireball I'm more sideways than I intended. I expected you to pull back, but never dreamed we'd be so far apart. My mind is spinning. I'm panicking. Can I really go everyday without you? I have become someone I can't stand. My heart is always racing in a frantic mess. I've never hurt like this. What I'd do to just taste your lips. Last night I dreamt, an I swear I could feel you flex! Setting you free, I have to come to terms with, I love you an it hurts to live like this.
Another day trying to function on two hours of sleep. If only counting sheep let me wake up with you lying next to me. You slip further away with each dream! Trapped in this Nightmare, enemies more than friends, this can't be how it ends!
I'm a mess, literally ! It hurts to be with you but not as bad as it feels to not be. Anxiety has hit a new high. Mind is racing I can't seem to keep up ! My knees are about to buckle carrying the world was much easier to do with you spotting me.
Poem about a Pet: (just being silly)
Companion, Dog, Cat, Turtle,
Rabbit, Snake, Company, Parrot
What can I say, I've never owned a pet
It's hard to keep up with the things I need
Why would I take Garfield to the vet cause his fat ass ate more lasagna than me
I don't go to the doctor unless I'm seconds away from popping out my own seed
Timmy can stay trapped in that well, Now get Lassie
Most see a snake an think that's the companion I need
I want to tie that bastard in a knot for talking to that bitch Eve
Ive been invited to wonderland for a cup of tea
politely look at Alice an said no thank you but, a rabbits company won't fix me
Heckle and Jeckle more...
I'm not going to continue entertaining this who was right and who's wrong feud between you and I!!!! I'm sick of fighting, like I have none left in me!! I have done more fighting in the last year and a half than I've ever done in my life! I know most of it is my own stupidity, an a lot of it could have been avoided if I would have admitted my wrongs in the first place. Im tired of making other people suffer and pay for my own insecurities. I apologise for everything and would give anything to change it! Reality..... Neither one of us will let little things go so we will always end right back here. So I'm forced to say goodbye! In time I hope you come to realize not everything I sa...
Just want to share a little gratitude !
I've always been a selfish person. Doing the things that would hurt everyone that Love's me. As long as it was something I'd somehow benefit from. No matter the cost.... Who I had to hurt to get it.... When my mind is set, there is nothing else!! I'm human, but I'm a spiteful self-seeking human! We all go through hard times. But for me instead of taking responsibility for my actions and doings I chose to blame everyone I love. I used to think that I had to hate the men I had kids with. My mind had highlighted all the crossed word's, every disagreement, every tear cried, and Everytime things didn't go my way. Not realizing that we both can s...
The past year has been a nightmare
Jealousy seemed to be the only emotion
Wanting to be in control
I pushed an tried you
You're feet planted, standing firm
Calling my bluff, no matter the cost, you had a point to prove
A constant back an forth
With you, now I'm confused
You want me, but need a break too
Not wanting to get hurt
Giving our all was something we both hesitated to do
In the moment of Truth
I can honestly say that I want you
Looking back to the day I met you
I can see all the ways our love has grew
You're love has been planted in my heart
An like a flower, it will forever bloom
This is our nightmare, an I only want to wake up if it's next to you
I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT........
Am I the only one that goes completely fucking insane when someone looks at me and says.....
"Happiness is a choice"
First of all you "HAPPY BITCH"
DO YOU THINK I ENJOY FEELING LIKE THIS??
DEPRESSION IS SOMETHING I CANT EXPLAIN, AN WHEN I TRY TO ANXIETY TAKES COMPLETE CONTROL.
Just know I'm not always this way. This isolated state is something I've never been through. I'm learning how to cope with it too. I understand if it's something you can't do! Just know I don't wake up wanting to hurt you. I apologise for hurting you while trying to find me.
Her heart was frozen
Intimacy left out in the cold
Insucurities tell her she doesn't deserve a love like his
No one cared to know her like this Gently pulling her close he kissed her lips
He knew her body never quivered from a passionate kiss
When you slide into me there's no other place I'd rather be
Your flex tells me your the one for me
When I'm away from you it's like I can't breath
D*** so good I sometimes start a fight
Just so you'll angry ***k me
I have no control over my body once you're in me
I wish you could see what I see when you're on top of me
I used to wonder if sex was the only thing between you an me
The fact of being with one person forever used to scare me
Now it scares me to think about not having you next to me
My heart has never been so free
Under you is where I want to spend eternity
You deserve to be with someone who respects you. Your time is valuable and you shouldn't have to set yourself on a shelf while he's doing time. I've fell for the same Ol "Prison Song" my 2 oldest boys their dad has spent more time locked up than with our kids. We got together when I was 18. I'm 30 an I've spent all of my 20's listening to the same jailhouse blues. it doesn't get better it will only get worse, I promise you! Your little lie is telling him that you love him at the end of the phone calls. Maybe you do have love for him but not in love with him! You don't want to hurt him especially while he's locked up right? Let me ask you this. Do you honestly believe that you're the...
Just a kiss an you control me
Trembling from the inside out
But my heart is completely content
I wake up looking forward to nights like this
I'm Happy Being Me
Your pride will kill you
Be humble, if not you'll die alone too
You pushed away someone who without questing would go to war with you
Our whole relationship wasted
Spent inside your head
You're imagination played you
Painting a picture of the drug addict me
Making it where you thought you didn't have to respect me
The silent treatment controlled me
Picking apart my personality
Your imagination convinced me
I believed you were better than me
Turns out you fight the same demons as me
Check to check
Now I know why you went days without speaking to me
Your tolerance continues to increase
Pain killers are expensive
But without them it's hard to sleep, Wake up, Eat, Work, Laugh,...
For years I put finishing this off! A few sentences in I'd be lost, not knowing what to say. In my mind I had you still living! Pretending you'd come home in a year or two. Telling myself you we're just in prison helped me cope with the fact the world lost you.
So many people tried to change an twist my memories of you. Sitting here right now in this moment I'm laughing with you. You're presents is so strong I swear I can feel you! Every guy I've been with Envy's you. It's funny cause I can here you saying
"I'm a player, I told you boo."
To this day I've never had a man have my back like you. An Without realizing it, I've had relationships fail expecting them to be like you!!! That i...
Mental health issues in America have always had a stigma around them and the only way for that to end is for us to openly and comfortably talk about them. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness, do your research and utilize your resources. It’s very imperative to find your support system, go through the proper channels to receive the right treatment for you and find coping mechanisms to get on the right path to stability and healing. Let’s share things that have helped us and the people that love us to cope and heal. Let’s be kind to each other and most importantly to ourselves.
I struggle with
The strongest/weakest person you'll ever met. My heart wants to b...
I never pictured being unhappy like this. Lonely, I'm starting to realize I've created a monster! I've got her trapped in a mess.
Happiness dangles in front of me, but the unknown has me frozen. I escape in my dreams though.
It's a quiet morning the first day of May. It's 2039! I'm drinking my coffee in a small town called Pekin located in Washington Indian.
You're thinking that's odd. Corie why Pekin an why May first especially in 2039?? That's 20 years from now!
Well let me explain......
I'm not saying that I'll go the next 20 years in pain. I'll have little moments that keep me sane but, in 20 years I'll be right where I want to be.
Kid will be just graduating high s...
My oldest Is 10 (I call him Bear). Looking at him is like looking in the mirror! I get the most frustrated with him because he is me. I sit back without him knowing and I could tell you his every move, as if I were directing a movie. He's so much like me that it even scares me at times. His heart is so pure, but can be so mean. Everyone's friend, there is no in-between!
My second is 7 (I call Him Baide) He is strong like me but he isn't afraid to go get what he wants. He loves with all his heart his eyes tell a story of innocence. He is everything I ever hoped to be in life. He's got big hopes and I know...
Loving her had always been easy until today.
Finally realizing his worth he knows what he has to do today.
Scared that once he sees her face he will break and lock his feelings back in their cage.
37 years an Love has never his him this way.
Sitting at the table this morning he can't help but question
Does she see the hurt on my face?
He's always been who she needed even if that means having to share her, until today he never questioned second place.
Tell her to choose, or love she will forever lose.
These are the things he hopes to tell her today!
It's been a long and busy week for her. As she walks on the side of the road, her backpack feels heavier with each minute passing.
Her legs are shaking, stomach is turning, mind is racing, and her vains are yearning. Addiction's got her sick, "God, please send me a trick" she desperately whimpered to herself.
One block... Two blocks... Three blocks.... Four!!! Finally she's standing in front of his passenger side door. At this point she'll do whatever he asks for.
Bent over the seat breathing in cigarette ashes and what smell's like cat piss, hoping he cums quick so she can go get her fix. Fighting back the tears, wondering how she let herself turn out like this?
She didn't ...