I'm barely lucid
                     Your love is my drug

"It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"

...So they say
Why?

What does feeling good have to do with anything? Not making decisions based  on your emotions is a good thing.

How do you know when the rewards are better than the consequences or vice versa?

The past is what made you who you are today. You can't change it, hide from it, or pretend things didn't happen. It's why you make decisions to be better for today and tomorrow.  

Face whatever it is. It's HARD, it may be ugly, and it may even hurt.  But in order to move on, you must deal with it.

You have to make time for what is important to you. What are your priorities? A seed has to be watered if you want it to grow.

Withdraw
Hide from it all

Why is it too much to just be?
Let's face it all and see

Be honest
What you're looking for is not me

Stepping away
I pull the shade

Light shone
Now extinguished

Don't try to fan the flame
Ashes are drenched from the rain

I stopped giving in to the toxic relationships. The insecurities that were projected onto me, their jealousy, their low self esteem. I said ENOUGH!!

I will NOT lie to myself any longer. I am not desperate. I know who I am and this is not me. I am better than this and I will rise from the ashes. I am magnificent!!! I will no longer diminish myself.

"If you have to diminish yourself to keep the peace, then peace is just an illusion."  

I will let my light shine. I will not cower to make you feel better. I will not conform.

It would always ask me how I'm doing how I am. I usually say I'm ok.  Even when I'm not.  The lies we tell ourselves to keep everyone out.  

Okay, not okay, hurt, happy, sad, frustrated, relieved, exhausted, withdrawn, contemplative.

Here I am broken. Open.
Human

HOY ES UN BUEN DÍA PARA ROMPER LA RUTINA.

Live outside the daily routine.

-Write the pros and cons
- the world is at your fingertips
- do what you think is right
-take you out of the equation
-take me out of the equation
-follow your heart

I never expected to fall in love with a beautiful city. When I arrived in this city, I knew NO ONE!! I took the job at Amazon because I heard it paid well.  

Here I stand nearly 5 years later with a life I built for myself. The city has grown on me. Amazon has given me so much.  I've learned a lot about myself personally and professionally.

There have been challenges great and small. I've had setbacks and made mistakes.  Made a few enemies, a couple friends, and a few have become family.

Never imagined working with 1,000 ...

How can we both be so numb?
Back and forth like the waves of the sea

Do I care if you're not there?
Reflections of who I used to be
Mirror themselves at me

This black hole
Has swallowed my soul

Don't let it be so
Just let it go

Live from a deep assurance that you are fully loved, and you won't find yourself begging others for scraps of love. Live loved.

<>

I close my eyes and I'm taken to that place
I only see your face
I'm thinking I can actually see
A place where it's just you and me
It's easy to be in a fantasy
Just believe in me
Baby we'll make it be.

FOUNDATIONS

YOU'RE TALKING
I HEAR YOU
NO TIME FOR ME
IS WHAT I HEAR

YOU WANT ME
ALL OF ME

HOW? PROVE THAT YOU WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE...
FOREVER

20 MINUTES OR LESS PHONE CALL A DAY
100 MILES AWAY

YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ME NOW, WHY SHOULD I EXPECT THINGS TO BE DIFFERENT THEN?

THE PURPOSE OF DATING IS TO BUILD A FOUNDATION
PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE
CIRCUMSTANCES WILL ALWAYS BE THERE

If you have to diminish yourself to keep the peace,
then peace is just an illusion.

If someone is showing you that they can be your anchor during the storms of life, will you be willing to show them that you can be the same?

And if someone is inviting you to be a part of their life do you let anything that pops up get in the way of showing the person how you really feel and that you do care?

Show the person that you do care and that you do appreciate them because if you don't somebody will and that person will naturally gravitate towards where they are appreciated.

How I long to see your face
feel the warmth of your embrace

Hear your voice whisper in my ear tell me the world is ours

Look me in the eye and tell me we're not living a lie

Hands with interlocked fingers
Feel my energy move through you

I can hold I can withstand
We must keep fighting together if we want to make it through this land

     ~☆CDM☆~

Take some time.  Time for yourself. Time to laugh, time to cry. You need all of it. Explore all of the emotions that you are feeling. Don't hide from them.  They will only get worse. Face them, write about them, document them, and then move on. You will find who you really are and you will find your true strength.

#TakeTimetoWrite
  ~☆CDM☆~

Blinded by your own mountains
You cry out

Listen very close
Only then you will see crystal clear

I am here
Never fear

To hold you
Guide you
Push you
Encourage you
Love you

Relinquish the control

    ~☆~CDM~☆~

I said things
You know my heart
All I really want is you

Love is a continual act of forgiveness
A choice and decision

When we have a disagreement you want to hide and walk away and lock up your heart.

Plug-and-play signifies you're not willing to do the work.
My love is not a game

Fight for me
Don't just tell me you love me
Show me you love me

I don't care what we do
I don't care where we are
As long as we are there, together

At the end of the day
All we really have are the kids and each other

You have to make the time
Choose me
Commit to me

I cannot make that decision for you
You have to figure out what is most important to you

Here I stand naked and soul open
On the precipice of...

   
    Alone in the dark
      How to see the light
    How do you not succumb
      So much numb
    You try to fill me
      Nothing is there
    So much of a void
      But do I even care
    Just aimlessly walking
      Are you even talking

     Soul bleeding
       Needing

   This is the sound of an angel.       with broken wings trying to learn how to fly again.

        ~☆~ CDM ~☆~

The whisper
Your face on my face
Your breath on my lips

Fireworks imploding
My will gently eroding

The soft caress
I release the stress

Your hands hold mine
Inhale
Exhale

I rise to you
I know you feel it too

Our souls forever entwined
Say you'll always be mine

Show me your scars
I'll show you the stars

                  ~☆~CDM~☆~

Alone in the middle of the web I weave to keep you out

Should I bring you in?
The complexities of life.
The web that has been woven goes in and out round and round. It's a maze.  I am lost.

I want you in. I want you in.  Will I let you in?

Full of venom
do you want it? Do you want to be full with me?

I'm still trying to digest last night's dinner. It left me full, it left me empty, it left me sick.

Oh I've made it to another tree. Another web to weave. Around I go. I lie in wait for you.

Will you let me embrace you?
Will you embrace me?
Will you let me fill you with my poison?

            maturity

        decisiveness

     
                                        consistency

                                    strength

I'm a wreck babe
That's ok

You're a wreck babe
That's ok
I'll love you anyway

Embrace the madness
Together we conquer

Death

Is it easier to know and say goodbye
Or not to know and have you suddenly gone?

The shock is sudden. Unexpectedly having all of what you feel emerging. It eventually subsides. The pain is always there. The intensity is only in the beginning.

Not being able to see you or not being able to hear you tell me you love me for me. To hear you say how proud you are of me and that I will always be your girl.

I went through your things. I had to. Everything you cherished, things you loved and worked for.

There was no one else. I had to be strong. To go through your clothes and smell you and remember our time together.

Ashes. Your body reduced to a pile of ashes in a box. All wishes, drea...

It's tearing me apart
The broken pieces of my heart

You used to say are you ok
Now just two strangers going about their day

I gave it all
Sorry you got used to me

Lack of care
Love me love me if you dare
It used to be rare
Assurance was there
Never a doubt in the air

Maybe I love too much
When times got rough

Should I run and hide
There's a stranger by my side.

You can blame it on me
Say it's my fault

I've wiped the last year from my eye
Looked up to the sky
Stopped asking why

It's not all roses
I tried to see it through
I've done all I can do

~~CDM. May 8, 2013

"We dive unconsciously
into a world unknown

Feeling that which cannot fathom
High and low the waves come and go

Open your heart
Release the pain

Open your heart
Don't be in vain

Beneath the guise of a smile
Come and stay awhile

Not to just peruse
Be the muse"

~~CDM

Pick me up when I am down. Find the light when I can't see. Show me what you see. Help me be better.

Ride the waves with me, whether good or bad, sunshine or rain.

Let's dance with Love's Embrace.
Soak in the sun with our successes
Shield each other with the umbrella when it rains.

I will catch your tears in my hands
Share laughter and shake off the little things

Ladies stop giving a boy the power if he's not man enough and willing to know what to do with it.

Guys stop giving girls the power if she's not woman enough and willing to know what to do with it.

(power=love, hopes, dreams, protector, provider, etc)

~CDM