C ChildePO# 51252
United States
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Survivor Extraordinaire |
"Change is constant. Growth is inevitable. Standing still is not an option." ~☆~CDM~☆~
Happy Besties day!!!! The friends show up and stick around through the good, bad, and the ugly. Sometimes just when you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to just listen to your useless rants, someone who prays for you, and someone to push you back UP when life pushes you down from all directions imaginable!!
Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside.
Most of the time, pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets you when you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up.
Pain. You just have to fight through. Because the truth is, you can’t outrun it. And life always makes more.
May 8, 2013
"And what is a friend? More than a father, more than a brother: a traveling companion, with him, you can conquer the impossible, even if you must lose it later.
Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. It is a friend that you communicate the awakening of a desire, the birth of a vision or a terror, the anguish of seeing the sun disappear or of finding that order and justice are no more.
That's what you can talk about with a friend. Is the soul immortal, and if so why are we afraid to die?
If God exists, how can we lay claim to freedom, since He is its beginning and its end?
What is death, when...
Ever feel like your on the threshold of a cliff & something inside is telling you jump because what's at the bottom is better than where you are?
Reciprocate with your actions and words. Don't just tell me anything and then not back up what you say. Male and female friends. I am done with the excuses, the reasons why.
You try. You make an effort. This year is the year you reciprocate.
Now he has a taste of his own medicine
He can talk through text but when I'm in his face..nada
Now he's looking at his phone wondering where I am and what I'm doing..hoping I'll call
Now he misses me
Now he's sweating me
Now he knows I do not need him
Now he's wondering if I'm with another man
And now I'm smiling without him
It's time we get real. This is serious. Take off the rose colored glasses.
Let's talk about what we don't talk about. The demons inside your head are real.
It's easy for someone to say it will get better. Its easy to say I'm praying for you.
What about when that prayer is all you have? What about when you don't even have a prayer?
What about when the rest of the world thinks you have it all, but inside your dying?
When you go 1 step forward, life knocks you not one, not 2, but 10 steps back?
When you're surrounded and that's the only thing you're able to see. Or when there's so much hurt and pain and that is all you know.
Scarlet rage covers the misery.
You can't be happy with someone else when youre not happy with yourself.
It's a hard truth to swallow. You can't be happy when you view yourself as trash. You think it, then act like it, then others treat you that way.
Where I've been is NOT where I'm about to go!! I have seen better and I want better...for MYSELF!!
You're proud of me? GREAT!! But again, I'm doing it for ME!! Thank you to you all who have and continue to push me to be better and for your sincerity and honesty.
I observe A LOT. And I'm telling myself, I don't want that for me. I CHOOSE to be better!!
This is still a new year. CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK!!! PARADIGM
When I look in the mirror I see reflections of who I used to be.
Young, vibrant, free spirited
Now I see battle scars, wounds, scabs, sadness.
Surrounded by the dark abyss
Be a superstar every day
Don't be a fake heart
I feel like with this new year, I am no longer looking for myself in others. I am not going to allow insatiable emptiness to be temporarily filled by another.
Instead, I take a step back, breathe, and reconnect with the one who made me. I reconnect with God who through Jesus, healed me of cancer.
I reach deep within to find that girl who sees a mountain and speaks FAITH to tell it to move.
I find that girl who loves to travel. I find that girl who loves to laugh. I find that girl who is OK with being a silly dork. I find that girl who finds value and true love in friends and family. I find that girl who doesn't settle.
I forgive myself for not being perfect. I release the rage of the...
Don't let your not now
mess up your not yet.
To embrace your destiny you must let go of your history.
Elevate your mind
Let your soul be free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One year. A lot can happen in 365 days. It has been a journey. Is been happy, it has been sad, it has been hard. There's been a lot of learning and a lot of love.
They say is harder to walk away then it is to stay. I walked away. It was over long before I ended it.
I learned that time is nothing but a number. It doesn't matter how long you know someone. It matters what your relationship is with that person. Do you make the other person better do you make them worse? Are you better off with the person or is it a toxic relationship? Friends, family, or significant others.
Thank you to everyone who has stood by me, and encouraged me, wiped my tears, and prayed for me on this chapter of ...
You want people to support you, but you put up another layer of barbed wire and isolate yourself under the guise of 'no one understands'.
Others have their own struggles as well and maybe do understand, even just a little that we all have a common thread called being human.
..In reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile, gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
Because I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'till I go home at night
Then turn down all the lights and then I breakdown and cry
I have ugly too. Maybe I'm good at hiding it, or maybe you just haven't looked hard enough to see it, but I have ugly too.
When you look at me
What do you see?
Crystal ball
Matter flowing
Falling
Rising
Blue turns to grey
Turns to black
We cannot go back
I hold on to this moment
Only this breath
"It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"
...So they say
Why?
What does feeling good have to do with anything? Not making decisions based on your emotions is a good thing.
How do you know when the rewards are better than the consequences or vice versa?
The past is what made you who you are today. You can't change it, hide from it, or pretend things didn't happen. It's why you make decisions to be better for today and tomorrow.
Face whatever it is. It's HARD, it may be ugly, and it may even hurt. But in order to move on, you must deal with it.
You have to make time for what is important to you. What are your priorities? A seed has to be watered if you want it to grow.
Withdraw
Hide from it all
Why is it too much to just be?
Let's face it all and see
Be honest
What you're looking for is not me
Stepping away
I pull the shade
Light shone
Now extinguished
Don't try to fan the flame
Ashes are drenched from the rain
I stopped giving in to the toxic relationships. The insecurities that were projected onto me, their jealousy, their low self esteem. I said ENOUGH!!
I will NOT lie to myself any longer. I am not desperate. I know who I am and this is not me. I am better than this and I will rise from the ashes. I am magnificent!!! I will no longer diminish myself.
"If you have to diminish yourself to keep the peace, then peace is just an illusion."
I will let my light shine. I will not cower to make you feel better. I will not conform.
It would always ask me how I'm doing how I am. I usually say I'm ok. Even when I'm not. The lies we tell ourselves to keep everyone out.
Okay, not okay, hurt, happy, sad, frustrated, relieved, exhausted, withdrawn, contemplative.
Here I am broken. Open.
Human
