C ChildePO# 51252
United States
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Survivor Extraordinaire |
Ever feel like your on the threshold of a cliff & something inside is telling you jump because what's at the bottom is better than where you are?
Reciprocate with your actions and words. Don't just tell me anything and then not back up what you say. Male and female friends. I am done with the excuses, the reasons why.
You try. You make an effort. This year is the year you reciprocate.
Now he has a taste of his own medicine
He can talk through text but when I'm in his face..nada
Now he's looking at his phone wondering where I am and what I'm doing..hoping I'll call
Now he misses me
Now he's sweating me
Now he knows I do not need him
Now he's wondering if I'm with another man
And now I'm smiling without him
It's time we get real. This is serious. Take off the rose colored glasses.
Let's talk about what we don't talk about. The demons inside your head are real.
It's easy for someone to say it will get better. Its easy to say I'm praying for you.
What about when that prayer is all you have? What about when you don't even have a prayer?
What about when the rest of the world thinks you have it all, but inside your dying?
When you go 1 step forward, life knocks you not one, not 2, but 10 steps back?
When you're surrounded and that's the only thing you're able to see. Or when there's so much hurt and pain and that is all you know.
Scarlet rage covers the misery.
You can't be happy with someone else when youre not happy with yourself.
It's a hard truth to swallow. You can't be happy when you view yourself as trash. You think it, then act like it, then others treat you that way.
Where I've been is NOT where I'm about to go!! I have seen better and I want better...for MYSELF!!
You're proud of me? GREAT!! But again, I'm doing it for ME!! Thank you to you all who have and continue to push me to be better and for your sincerity and honesty.
I observe A LOT. And I'm telling myself, I don't want that for me. I CHOOSE to be better!!
This is still a new year. CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK!!! PARADIGM
When I look in the mirror I see reflections of who I used to be.
Young, vibrant, free spirited
Now I see battle scars, wounds, scabs, sadness.
Surrounded by the dark abyss
Be a superstar every day
Don't be a fake heart
I feel like with this new year, I am no longer looking for myself in others. I am not going to allow insatiable emptiness to be temporarily filled by another.
Instead, I take a step back, breathe, and reconnect with the one who made me. I reconnect with God who through Jesus, healed me of cancer.
I reach deep within to find that girl who sees a mountain and speaks FAITH to tell it to move.
I find that girl who loves to travel. I find that girl who loves to laugh. I find that girl who is OK with being a silly dork. I find that girl who finds value and true love in friends and family. I find that girl who doesn't settle.
I forgive myself for not being perfect. I release the rage of the...
Don't let your not now
mess up your not yet.
To embrace your destiny you must let go of your history.
Elevate your mind
Let your soul be free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One year. A lot can happen in 365 days. It has been a journey. Is been happy, it has been sad, it has been hard. There's been a lot of learning and a lot of love.
They say is harder to walk away then it is to stay. I walked away. It was over long before I ended it.
I learned that time is nothing but a number. It doesn't matter how long you know someone. It matters what your relationship is with that person. Do you make the other person better do you make them worse? Are you better off with the person or is it a toxic relationship? Friends, family, or significant others.
Thank you to everyone who has stood by me, and encouraged me, wiped my tears, and prayed for me on this chapter of ...
You want people to support you, but you put up another layer of barbed wire and isolate yourself under the guise of 'no one understands'.
Others have their own struggles as well and maybe do understand, even just a little that we all have a common thread called being human.
..In reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile, gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
Because I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'till I go home at night
Then turn down all the lights and then I breakdown and cry
I have ugly too. Maybe I'm good at hiding it, or maybe you just haven't looked hard enough to see it, but I have ugly too.
When you look at me
What do you see?
Crystal ball
Matter flowing
Falling
Rising
Blue turns to grey
Turns to black
We cannot go back
I hold on to this moment
Only this breath
"It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"
...So they say
Why?
What does feeling good have to do with anything? Not making decisions based on your emotions is a good thing.
How do you know when the rewards are better than the consequences or vice versa?
The past is what made you who you are today. You can't change it, hide from it, or pretend things didn't happen. It's why you make decisions to be better for today and tomorrow.
Face whatever it is. It's HARD, it may be ugly, and it may even hurt. But in order to move on, you must deal with it.
You have to make time for what is important to you. What are your priorities? A seed has to be watered if you want it to grow.
Withdraw
Hide from it all
Why is it too much to just be?
Let's face it all and see
Be honest
What you're looking for is not me
Stepping away
I pull the shade
Light shone
Now extinguished
Don't try to fan the flame
Ashes are drenched from the rain
I stopped giving in to the toxic relationships. The insecurities that were projected onto me, their jealousy, their low self esteem. I said ENOUGH!!
I will NOT lie to myself any longer. I am not desperate. I know who I am and this is not me. I am better than this and I will rise from the ashes. I am magnificent!!! I will no longer diminish myself.
"If you have to diminish yourself to keep the peace, then peace is just an illusion."
I will let my light shine. I will not cower to make you feel better. I will not conform.
It would always ask me how I'm doing how I am. I usually say I'm ok. Even when I'm not. The lies we tell ourselves to keep everyone out.
Okay, not okay, hurt, happy, sad, frustrated, relieved, exhausted, withdrawn, contemplative.
Here I am broken. Open.
Human
HOY ES UN BUEN DÍA PARA ROMPER LA RUTINA.
Live outside the daily routine.
-Write the pros and cons
- the world is at your fingertips
- do what you think is right
-take you out of the equation
-take me out of the equation
-follow your heart
I never expected to fall in love with a beautiful city. When I arrived in this city, I knew NO ONE!! I took the job at Amazon because I heard it paid well.
Here I stand nearly 5 years later with a life I built for myself. The city has grown on me. Amazon has given me so much. I've learned a lot about myself personally and professionally.
There have been challenges great and small. I've had setbacks and made mistakes. Made a few enemies, a couple friends, and a few have become family.
Never imagined working with 1,000 ...
How can we both be so numb?
Back and forth like the waves of the sea
Do I care if you're not there?
Reflections of who I used to be
Mirror themselves at me
This black hole
Has swallowed my soul
Don't let it be so
Just let it go
Live from a deep assurance that you are fully loved, and you won't find yourself begging others for scraps of love. Live loved.
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I close my eyes and I'm taken to that place
I only see your face
I'm thinking I can actually see
A place where it's just you and me
It's easy to be in a fantasy
Just believe in me
Baby we'll make it be.
FOUNDATIONS
YOU'RE TALKING
I HEAR YOU
NO TIME FOR ME
IS WHAT I HEAR
YOU WANT ME
ALL OF ME
HOW? PROVE THAT YOU WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE...
FOREVER
20 MINUTES OR LESS PHONE CALL A DAY
100 MILES AWAY
YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ME NOW, WHY SHOULD I EXPECT THINGS TO BE DIFFERENT THEN?
THE PURPOSE OF DATING IS TO BUILD A FOUNDATION
PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE
CIRCUMSTANCES WILL ALWAYS BE THERE
