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Cyrus

PO# 638379
United Kingdom
United Kingdom
www.instagram.com/papikins
January 7, 2019
 

Hi,

I need a lot of strength right now not to break. I've been searching for ways to forget, but as I keep saying; there is no way to forget. I'm a broken record. I have all these emotions inside me that are waiting to be released. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep writing to flush out my thoughts. I'm spinning hateful words inside my mouth, and most of them are all about myself.

I'm a human full of memories. Everywhere I go, I get reminded of what I had and what I lost. I tried to focus on myself, but it didn't help me one bit. I feel like I'm damaged goods, and there's no way to regain the determination I had before. I'm not the monster that most of you think I am. I don't mean to spr...

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
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December 23, 2018
 

I have so many flaws. I have so many things wrong with me that it'll take days to explain. Can I really explain though? This one question people ask is one I never know how to answer; "how are you?" I get asked this a lot on a daily basis. What am I supposed to say? I say good because it's in my nature. What else is there to mention? Can I tell them that I'm lost and feeling beaten? That would just kill the mood. What mood anyway? Why do I have so many questions?

There's something I need to tell you. I can't be this perfect person you envision. I'm designed to be broken. Maybe I made myself this way, and maybe you're the same. We look at each other and see normality, but how many of us keep ...

THE TRIANGLE
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December 21, 2018
 

I miss the warmth of being next to someone. I miss being able to tell another being that I'm hurting. It might sound selfish, but I need that human connection. All my life I had pushed everyone away until now. I realise that I've been chasing loneliness throughout the years, so maybe it was me that deserved to lose.

I have no one to turn to, and I don't want to speak to any of you. Don't take it personally, I'm just weary of those I can trust because people are wolves in sheeps clothing. My biggest problem is my train of thought, but at the same time; it's what makes me real. I always planned to be alone, but after being close for so long, it hurts to be here on my own.

I will never be love...

STARS
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November 20, 2018
 

Will you love me until the end? This question is one we always ask ourselves. When is it truly the end? When one of you decides that they can't take it anymore? When you want something else? When you let go of the love you shared before? I keep thinking, and I keep thinking but is there anything to overthink about? Love is a let down and these words are my rememberance of what I used to have and what I ultimately lost.

LAST HUG
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November 20, 2018
 

I live a different life behind these pictures,
Surrounded by these lonely whispers.

They say a picture paints a thousand words, but are they truly the right words? Everything we do is a message that we send out to others, in hopes that they'll be able to decode them. How many times have you presented positivity when you were close to breaking? It's something we have all done at some point. We think that if we relay these messages, others will think we're perfectly fine. I keep thinking, and I keep thinking until I overthink. Why can't we be real? Why do we keep hiding? Is it really that hard to show our true emotions without being judged?

Peoples perceptions of us are everything and we try ...

ANGEL OF PASSION
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November 14, 2018
 

Tracing lines across the skies,
Trying to make the stars align,
I've created beauty within time,
With all the words I intertwine.

DREAMY NIGHTS
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November 7, 2018
 

She wasted years pretending to be perfect and adoring,
She never meant to go this path of self destruction and self loathing.

LET IT ALL OUT
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November 6, 2018
 

It's getting harder to breathe when I'm with you, but I feel like I need you.

When your love is breaking down and you can't feel the sense of closeness you felt before, your mind begins to wander. You wonder what is wrong with you or rather what is wrong with your love. None of us are perfect, but once we begin to let our minds drift, we break our relationships because we outline the flaws.

It could be anything, from not feeling the love you receive is as much as the love you give, and how everything falls apart every time you argue. All these little things can make love fade. Doubt, regrets, the want for something new, and denial.

I don't want you to think that I'm trying to give a bad pe...

DIKSHA GABA
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November 5, 2018
 

There are hidden stars around me,
Covered in denial and simplicity.

How did we get to this point? I see so many lost souls pretending to be sane, and it's hard for me to digest. They lose themselves to the standards of society and feel less because of these ideal looks and emotions. We're all hooked on beauty, tranquility, love, money, etc. We forget that we have talents beyond the limits we see and hear about. I look around my surroundings to get a glimpse of what the world has become, and there are so many hidden stars around me that have been covered in denial and simplicity.

People don't realise how special they are. We were all built for different purposes, and all these outside influe...

PHOENIX
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November 4, 2018
 

My name is overthinker,
And I try to make sense of everything that I remember.

PORTRAIT
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November 3, 2018
 

The most tiring feeling is to love. You give yourself to someone fully and let your walls down, but how many people deserve it? I feel like love is used to create a sense of belonging, but what happens when it ends? Your walls get knocked down and you trust a little less. It's a cycle of life, I guess. I know a lot of people want to find someone they belong to, but that shouldn't stop them from loving themselves. We put all our energy into trying to keep the person we love. It doesn't make sense anymore.

Right now, I'm trying to find myself and see where life will take me. I don't want to search for love or other distractions. I feel like it's time where I just go with the flow. Feeling lone...

THE TRIANGLE
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November 3, 2018
 

I am not enough. These four powerful words. They were going through my head on so many different occasions, and I knew that they were wrong. I keep fighting with these thoughts, I keep fighting with myself, because I know how important it is to have self-belief. My story of redemption has been one I can't explain, but I'm always trying to be better, to be more than before. I keep thinking, and I keep thinking until I overthink. Why am I so sad? Why do I form words that make me feel like I'm not meant to be here?

I never wanted to fall so far, but it's something I must live with. I hate to be around people because they don't understand or have an inkling to who I am. They try to say that I'm ...

CHIRAYU
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November 3, 2018
 

I’m writing this now because I’ve had some time to think. I keep thinking, and I keep thinking, and I overthink. Is it because I didn’t do this? Is it because I didn’t do that? Is it something I missed? Something I did wrong? It’s always me who is the problem in my mind. I blame myself for everything, and it’s so hard to pinpoint exactly where I went wrong. Maybe I didn’t leave when I should have. Maybe I felt like this love was the only thing that was keeping me going. I never wanted to shift the blame over, even if it wasn’t my fault to begin with. Maybe my problem was being so attached to something that was never there.

I keep trying to be nice. I keep trying to make it seem like this is ...

DARK NIGHT
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