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December 12, 2018
East Windsor, United States

Why am I always
Left behind?
I asked myself this question
As a child
And I ask it now,
For people always walk away
And I’m not allowed to go.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

MERRY CHRISTMAS
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December 11, 2018
East Windsor, United States

You walk away mumbling something
Under your breathe.
And your indifference
Cuts me
To the core.
It hurts to breathe
And I cry hot tears
That only sting
But do me more harm
Than good.
I can’t release this pain.
It doesn’t go away.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

ORIGINAL
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December 7, 2018
East Windsor, United States

My little white pill
It helps me forget my life
And I can sleep nights.

A haiku for you.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

BE BRAVE
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December 7, 2018
East Windsor, United States

Remember when
We were on
A halfway prayer?
What happened to those days?

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

BE BRAVE
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December 5, 2018
East Windsor, United States

I’m intense baby
And maybe you can’t take me,
But that’s how I am.
Can’t be who I’m not.
I want what I want
And I can’t take no.

Debbie O. Bottled Up Feelings

BE BRAVE
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December 5, 2018
East Windsor, United States

I understand how you
Wanna get high,
How there’s more.
How you don’t wanna feel
Anything.
I understand.
But baby the morning
Will come
And we will have to face
Everything.
We will have to face
Living.
So carry on...
Carry on and wake up.
This is your life.
Live.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

BE BRAVE
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December 1, 2018
East Windsor, United States

How am I? You ask
And I want to say
Not well
But I say I’m ok instead.
Can I say
I want to be everything
In your life?
I want to matter.
I want to be a priority.
I know happiness
Is up to me
But somehow
I want you to make me happy.
I want to be happy.
I want to laugh and mean it.
I want my eyes
To light up in a smile.
I want it all
To be real.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

THE BEST IS YET TO COME
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November 30, 2018
East Windsor, United States

Write a little poem,
Make sure it rhymes
And make it fit
In a box.
But life, it’s not like that.
Life doesn’t rhyme
And it always doesn’t fit
In a box.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

THE BEST IS YET TO COME
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November 28, 2018
 

We measure ourselves and others
By the way we behave
In adversity
And sometimes in your sadness
You shut me out
And I felt like an outsider
In your life.
You were harsh and cruel
I can admit that hurt.
Sometime in my sadness,
I didn’t realize, I shut you out...
But I just couldn’t stand the pain.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

THE BEST IS YET TO COME
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1
November 28, 2018
East Windsor, United States

Now is the time
That I am alive.
I’ve never been so present
In my life as I am now.
Now is the time to act.
Now is the time to move.
Now is the time to live.
There will never be
A better momement
Than in the present...
Live.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

THE BEST IS YET TO COME
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November 24, 2018
Monroe Township, United States

Can I just close my eyes
And have these moments with you?
Can I just live for this time
Between us?
Cause life goes by
And the heart...
It can’t be trusted,
But let me just live in this moment. Just in this little piece of time.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2018
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November 18, 2018
East Windsor, United States

We hardly speak
And I miss you.
It’s like I can’t do
Without you.
It’s so hard for me to say
I need you.
It’s so hard for me
To admit that
But I do.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

STAN LEE
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November 18, 2018
Princeton, United States

There’s a darkness come over me.
I don’t know who I am.
Life happens and I can’t feel
Anything.
Scenes play out in my life
And I’m letting you go
Without a fight.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

STAN LEE
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November 18, 2018
Princeton, United States

There’s a darkness come over you
That I never saw before.
The things you say so uncaringly
Make me bleed as they cut within.
Who are you?
Maybe I never knew you.
I thought love joined us
But hearts can be fickle
They let us know
We are alone in this life.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

STAN LEE
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November 17, 2018
East Windsor, United States

Can we ever empathize
With each other?
I don’t know.
For if you cut yourself,
And bleed, can I really feel
That pain?
Only if I truly feel you.
Otherwise I will say I understand
And not feel your pain,
But
That’s not who I am.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

STAN LEE
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November 16, 2018
East Windsor, United States

My miserable life
Didn’t start out this way,
I had a childhood,
I had a life.
I ask myself
When did that change?
We travel on a high wire
In this life
Never knowing if we’re
Hanging on
Until we fall.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

STAN LEE
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November 15, 2018
East Windsor, United States

Snow reminds me
Of when I used to be a child
Full of joy and hope.
Slipping and sliding in it’s
Delicious embrace;
The cold.
Anticipation of Santa
Of family.
Laughter and fun.
Candy canes
And ribbon candy
Hot cocoa with whipped creme and snowmen.
How I wish
I could go there again!

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

STAN LEE
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November 15, 2018
 

As I look out our window today
I see snow, so white, covering up
Familiar places, making them look
So new.  

It’s already been a year
Since you’ve been gone.
How final that day
You went away.

I kept your clothes
Like any day
You’d come marching in,
Always quiet, like you used to.

Window pain
As I look out this window pane.
Seeing seasons change
Watching the same scenes
Thinking how different they seemed
When you were here.
I’m struggling...
Struggling, without you.

As I look out the window today
I see snow so white
Covering up familiar places,
Making them look so new.

It’s already been three years
You’ve been gone.
Still keep your clothes
In my closet.
Hoping you’ll marc...

STAN LEE
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November 12, 2018
 

A memory.
Noise.
Children running, children
Screaming, cavorting, encased
By a tall wire fence.
I am alone as I look at the black asphalt ground.
The noise makes me dizzy, surreal, as if I am not there;
I am not.
I wonder why I cannot play.
I wonder why nothing is funny.
Suddenly, a shrieking whistle,
Everyone stands silent and straight at attention.
The nun in her black habit and black heart, sounds the whistle yet again.
We scurry quietly to formation and start our decent back to hell.
Recess is over.

         An excerpt from my life
         As a child.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

MADE WITH LOVE
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November 4, 2018
East Windsor, United States

I’ll always be a New York girl.
Can’t get away from that,
Born and raised.
I can’t be a honky tonk girl
Even if I’d like
Cause I’m a New York girl.
Don’t believe in anyone,
Nothing for nothing
Leaves nothing....
I’m from New York.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

COZY FALL
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November 3, 2018
East Windsor, United States

He says he loves me.
But you know
That don’t mean shit.
When it comes down to it
What matters is if
You are down for me
Or not.
Show up for me baby.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

COZY FALL
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November 2, 2018
East Windsor, United States

I watch your body dry up
And your face consume.
I don’t want to face it.
Your demise.
So I keep my distance
But sometimes
My heart breaks
Thinking how you must feel
So alone
In the process of your death;
Like no one cares.
Like, how could I leave you?
When time is fleeting
I only run away.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

COZY FALL
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November 1, 2018
 

Darkness and I’m walking down
An ill lit street.
The leaves have collected into great mounds on the ground and I hear their crunching as I walk. I can barely see them.
Dawn but the sun has not broken yet and I have a long way to go. I can’t see anyone on my journey lest the morning fog ,yet I feel a presence, following and sometimes beside me. It frightens me but I trudge on.
I see the solitary lights of a car in the distance. He doesn’t see me as he speeds by. I am invisible. I am darkness too.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

COZY FALL
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October 28, 2018
East Windsor, United States

People will use you.
Until you have nothing left.
And will rage at that.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

A Haiku for you.

LET GIRLS LEARN
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October 24, 2018
East Windsor, United States

You can never get back things
That you lost
Or people.
They are gone forever.
And you can try to imitate them
But it will never be the same.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

WHITE CLOCK
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October 23, 2018
East Windsor, United States

Don’t turn my love away.
Don’t make believe
You are asleep
Because this real love
Will never come again.
And you will wander
Looking for it
But never really find it.
It is here.
It is me.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

WHITE CLOCK
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October 20, 2018
East Windsor, United States

I can never say
I don’t care about you.
Cause that would mean
The Feelings I had
Were never true.
True, my ego says
“Say you don’t care. “
“Say you don’t love. “
But inside, I know
It ain’t true.
I love too much
I care too much.
Always have and always will.

Debbie O. Bottled Up Feelings

WHITE CLOCK
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October 14, 2018
Princeton, United States

My tears have dried up.
I have dry eyes that hurt
For I cannot cry.
Why?
All the years, all the storms,
Of this life
Have taken them away.
And I wonder?
Does God really catch
Those tears?
Has he saved them up
In heaven?
For they have been oceans.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

WHITE CLOCK
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October 14, 2018
Princeton, United States

You know what I like
About words?
You know what I like
About poetry?
It never goes out of style.
Words never change.
Feelings never change.
And love remains...
Timeless.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

WHITE CLOCK
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October 13, 2018
East Windsor, United States

I liked it better when you looked
Into my eyes
And were sincere.
I liked it better when love
Wasn’t something
You had to do;
When words and gestures
Would just flow
Without restraints or rules.
When things weren’t forced.
I liked it better when you looked
Into my eyes
And were sincere.

Debbie O Bottled Up Feelings

WHITE CLOCK
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