|In this world of betrayals, searching for that forever kind of person..!!|
Some people become so important for us. Its like their presence makes everything alright, every struggle worth fighting for, every happiness to be shared and the reason to keep moving ahead.
Very few of us are lucky to have such person in our life and I am grateful I have one.
But sometimes I feel like I get possessive for them and then I feel like being selfish.. I don't want to be.. I will try to control my feelings..
Their happiness is my priority and I will ensure it at any cost.
वो अल्फ़ाज़, हा कुछ अधूरे थे,
वो ख्वाब भी कमबख्त कहा पूरे रहे
जिनको सिर्फ मैने ही तो देखा था
तुम कहां कभी उनसे जुड़े थे।
वो मुस्कुराहट, हा मेरे लबो पे आई थी
जब मेरी आंखें तुमसे टकराई थी,
कहा मालूम था मुझे के
अब आंसुओं का सिलसिला होगा शुरू,
मैने तो बस मोहब्बत आजमाई थी।
हा ठीक है अब तुम लौट जाओ
मुझसे अब दिल तुम्हारा भर गया होगा,
क्यूंकि ज़िन्दगी भर साथ देने की
कसम तो सिर्फ मैने खाई थी।
Let's walk along
Hand in hand,
Not be mistaken to be lovers
Since we are best of friend
You can smile when I do,
But when I cry you will too
You help me stand when I fall,
You give me wings when I crawl
You assure my heart to always smile,
When I try to calm your demons fir a while
You are my winter, autumn and spring,
You are the song my heart wants to sing
You believed in me when did none,
You stood by me when everybody was gone
You ignited the fire in me and taught me to fight,
You propelled me to look for that flame in the darkest of night.
Today I just went through the old letters I have received by my loved ones and yet again it brought a smile on my face remembering them at the same time some brought tears coz some of them were so heart touching and full of love that I couldn't reisist..
I will always be grateful to lettrs which gave me so many loveable people and memories.. and also an opportunity to preserve them.
Hey sweety hi,
It's been so long since I wrote to you what to say a lot has happened over this time.. bro got married in feb and now he doesn't stay with us so I gotta look after mom and dad, mom is not well nowadays and since I got chicken pox in April and I took medicines for it I have been getting rashes since then.
Apart from that you know I feel so low I don't know how long will I be able to carry this fake smile.. life feels like there is nothing left to live for, I m so exhausted emotionally that if it continues I guess I will turn cold.
Sometimes I wonder why all this has to happen, why things can't be simple, why we can't just get back the love we offer to people... I dont know wha...
Aj apni himmat ko taash k bane us Mahal ki tarah bikharte paya jab Teri awaz suni...
Mere andar chikhta sor itna gehea tha k mujhe koi or awaz sunai hi nahi de rahi thi.
Ye Dil itni zor se dhadkane laga mano k aj saari bandishein tod k udd Jana chahta tha..
Wo dard sui ki nok sa Meri saanson ko mano rok raha ho, mujhe ghutan si hone lagi..
Chillana chahti thi, zor zor se rona chahti thi.. magar bebasi ka aalam kuch esa tha k na use apni ladkharaati Hui zubaan se kuch keh payi na apne askhon ko rok payi.. mere andar wo sor ankhon se jhaank raha tha or palkon k kinaron ko num kr gaya...
Stuck in the middle of life
With no clue what's next
Endless darkness is all that exist
Just when I received that text
Trust me and move forward
It's me who got your back
Take every risk take every chance
It's all possible, trust is what you lack
Forget your past forgive those left
Start your journey with a quest
Give all that you have with that belief
Everything happens for the best..!!
Two parts of my heart
When life put before me two alternatives,
Both were parts of my heart
One side was my whole life
The other one who gave me birth
It ripped my soul into two
Which part to choose
I never knew..
Cried whole night
but made no noise
To leave the world
Seemed to be the only choice..
Both parts of my heart
Is what I needed to live
Unconditional and Eternal love
That's all I ever wished to give..!!
My head turns heavy
as I cry
It seems difficult to open
and hold my eye,
After all those words of yours
my heart just sank
But it's still beating,
God! I should thank,
I know you never wished
for me to weep
But those words of yours
wounded me so deep
My love feels humiliated
and soul so weak
Was that promise of yours
too hard to keep??
Haan shehar Badal gya hai
Apno ka sath ek pal mein chut gya hai
Woh gali, woh raste ab bhi mujhe yaad hai,
Pehli Baar tumhare sath coffee Pina woh photo ab bhi mere paas hai,
Woh sath mein bday manana
Kiranshree mein sirf ek meal mangana
pados mein jakar ice cream khana
Woh pehli movie humari
Woh free uber ki sawari
Tumhare gali ke bahar tak tumhe chhodna ab bhi yaad hai mujhe
Woh Tumhara Ruth Jana
Phr jhat se tumhe manana
Haat pakad ke ek dusre ka rasto pe sath chlna
Woh Sai Baba ke mandir pe Jana
Bahar jaake kuch sasta khana
Woh bccho ki tarah pantaloons mein game khelna
Woh sidiyo mein bethke tumse baat krna
Mauka dekhte hi tumhe gale lagana
Woh pal, woh din, woh mausam, woh saal, har ...
उस एक शहर ने मुझसे बहुत कुछ छीना है,
आज मुझसे मेरा इश्क़ भी छीन लिया।
The person I love or care about eventually leaves me.. yes this is the harsh reality.. things are not going well.. actually nothing is in place.. and as I have grown into the habit of sleepless nights I have started relying on tabs though I know it's not good.. but I can't bear when my eyes want to sleep but my senses don't let me to.. I don't know what am I doing with myself.. may be I have grown so weak that I am not able to bear the things going on around me..
Since I know everyone will eventually leave me this thought kills me each and every second of my life.. I have started fearing darkness I cannot sleep with the lights off . I feel restless when I don't find someone beside for moment...
Hey buddies today I just want to share a wierd experience which I had many times in the past but I never thought about it so much until some days before someone told me. I was sleeping with my aunt and cousins during the wedding.. next day she told me I woke up many times in between and started screaming for my mom.. I have also experienced this before at my home many times when I used to just woke up in the middle of the night.. then I realized it was a kind of phobia.. but I couldn't find the exact term for it.. it is something like I am trapped in a room in the dark and there is probably no end to this darkness and I may not find the walls as I couldn't see them.. I find myself alone and f...
Aj 20 saal baad apne gaon k us ghar gai jahan kabhi kai log raha karte the magar ab viraan hai.. jahan mene apne bachpan k un anmol palon ko jia hai.. un to mujhe kuch yaad nahi magar us aangan ko dekh apna bachpan ji ayi me.. wahan hasti kudti badmaasi karti moti si.. khudko khelte paya.. chacha ji, dada ji ki goad me baithti, khelti.. yun laga mano me badi hui hi nahi..
Isse anmol tohfa apne janamdin me or kuch nahi ho sakta..!!
Saw you after 6 months.. but you know what it felt like you were never away.. missing you is the toughest part but the love is worth the longing..
That hug after months which speaks of the sense of completeness and care is worth the distance we share.. Happy 39 months of togetherness.. it's only coz of you that we have came such a long way and yet to go far.. just keep loving me the way you do..
Kuch gunaahon ki maafi nahi hoti... Mehboob ki bewafai to phir bhi bhulai ja sakti hai lekin ek dost jab dagga deta hai hum ta umra use maaf nahi kar paate.. beshak apni zindagi me aage badh jate hai lekin wo zakhm hmesa yaad rhte hai..
Kabhi kabhi esa kyu hota hai k hum chah kr bhi bata nahi paate itni kosison k baad bhi wo lafz zubaan se niklte hi nahi jisme hum saamne wale ko samjha sake or bata sake apne dil ka haal.. kyu bas khamoshi si chaa jati hai.. or phir btane ka man nahi karta kisiko kuch.. khud me hi gum se ho jate hai.. sayad ek kaaran ye bhi hai k saamne sunne wala koi hota hi nahi ya phir jo hai uske paas itna waqt hi nahi k wo hamari baatein sun sake..
Wo jo kho jana hota hai bas wahin hu mein..!!
Let the night fall
And the moon will rise
Let the days be silly
And the nights be wise..
It's been a while since we broke up.. and that night after that when he was drunk and I called him up.. why.. I had no clue.. but atleast he was able to say everything.. he finally wished for me not to come back.. that moment I realised to what extent that relationship was broken.. we didn't respect each other.. it was not the way he used to talk.. actually he never talked in that way.. may be that moment I realised It was over forever now..!!
Sach kahein.. aj baht yaad aa rahi h tumhari.. jee chahta h k dor k tumhare pass aa jayein or kas k pakad lein tumko par wo kya hai na baht dur ho tum humse. Jante hai bahut mohobbat krte ho or haalat or waqt ne ese mod par laa kr rakh dia hai jahan se na tum wapas laut sakte ho na hum.. par phir bhi kahin mil jaoge tum esi umeed krne ko dil chahta h.. par phir khudgarzi chor kar ye dua kr lete hai k hum kabhi na mile tumse or tum khus raho jiske bhi sath raho.. aasan nai hai kyunki tumhare na hone k khayal se hi aankhe num ho jati hai or tumhe kho dia hai esa ab tak is dil ko bataya nai hai humne.. kya karein.. kuch samajh nai ata.. mohobbat karte hai aj bhi.. beintehaa karte hai..
माना के अब डर नही लगता तुझे खोने से
मगर फिर भी नजाने क्यों सहम जाती हु तेरे न होने से।
तेरी नामौजूदगी अब कुछ इस तरह मुझे खलती है की
तेरी यादों से लिपटी हुई मेरी हर शाम ढलती है।
आज भी वो वक़्त थम सा जाता है जब
तेरी बहो में लिपटी हुई उसका खयाल मुझे आता है।
हाँ तेरी बेवफाई के उस लम्हे को जिया है मेने
खामोशी से अपने दिल के हर टुकड़े को सिया है मेने।
फिर भी तुझसे और सिर्फ तुझसे मोहोब्बत की
तुझे अपनी खुसी अदा कर तेरा दर्द लिया है मेने।
Have you ever imagined to meet your best friend after 15 long years.. Like that person whose face you don't remember perfectly but there is a faded blur image at the back of your mind and you find each other after decades.. And then both of you get back to those childhood school days and can't stop your tears and smiles..
Well I think I am lucky enough to get you back after such a long period of time.. All I wanna say is that I missed you.. really.. I won't say daily but yes I tried to find you in all the possible ways and I am glad that I got u back.. And I am even more glad that you remember me the same way I do..
ना ख्वाहिस है पास रहने की और न तुमसे दूर जाने की,
अब तो बस तलाश है एक मुक्कमल आशियाने की।
She smiled and felt so happy. But deep down she knew at some point this would all change. Nothing ever stays the same after all. Her fear became reality when she went through those conversations that gave her the sniff of betrayal which she was ignorant of. She was already replaced by someone in his life just the ceremony of heart-break was left to be celebrated..!!
A rainy day.. water droplets being poured out of the sky seems to be pious diamonds whose radiance got stucked in her eyes and they glittered as the moment freezed.. those water droplets while falling in sync create a melodious song for her ears to listen and heart to feel that they have been singing. With that black cup of coffee engraved a red heart which ended just below her lips and coffee being poured down her throat. Her eyes lost in that book where she just noticed his name and a smile engulfed her face.
So you been dreaming about him again??
Hey diary hi...
I am missing bro like hell.. you know how much he mean to me and that now he too has gone I feel incomplete.. I want to fight with him on those silly topics each and every day.. All I had was he to share about everything. This will be the first time when I won't be celebrating rakhi, coz for whom will I celebrate it. Anyways life been a freaking blood thirsty vampire but still we gotta keep moving... Now all I am doing is focusing on my goals.. but everyday I miss him.
Days are not that great but I am trying to be motivated as much I can coz I know what does giving up at this point of time mean. But you know sometimes it's too difficult to do that. The thoughts just haunt visciously but I try to calm my demons.
As you know after giving a lot to the people who didn't deserve it I understood that nobody is going to be there forever, so I don't feel like wasting my time on anybody now. I have given a lot of time to the wrong people and therefore wasted piece of life on them..
Anyways I am very sleepy gotta go.. good night..
Aj phir apne sapno ko tut k bikharte dekha.. phir ek bar usi kashmakash me dub gai zindagi.. kya chor kar aage badh jaun? Ya phir ek bar phir in tukron ko samet lu or jodne ki kosish karu? Kai sawal hai jehen me or jawab ek bhi nahi..