At the end of the day, if someone does not meet you where you are, you cannot keep askimg them to do so. If someone cannot reciprocate your love, if someone cannot give you what you truly deserve, you have to understand that aching for them to do so before they are ready is a form of self destruction. Your heart is vast and tender thing, you cannot keep trying to shrink it into what someone else needs. You cannot keep pouring your love into a vessel that cannot contain it. You cannot keep pouring your love into a soul that has not opened their eyes to all that they are receiving. You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it. It will only leave you empty. You have t...
I don't know how to explain to people that every moment I feel differently. That when I speak my truth one minute, I change my mind in a day. How often I regret speaking that I had an opinion that I am disagreeing with the next time I think of it. I always feel like I'm caught in a lie. With others. But specially with myself.
Do you know how it feels to feel like no one knows you because you don't know you. To have a sense of self that shifts from day to day.
Do you know how it feels to talk and talk and talk and never get your point across. To have to backtrack because you're saying things that you don't mean without trying. How can I explain everything I have felt about something in one ...
The worst part is realizing that your memory fails you, realizing all these things you thought were normal aren't, realizing maybe everything you think you know is wrong.
The worst part is being so uncertain in yourself, always afraid to make the wrong moves, say the wrong thing, exist too loudly.
There are lot of worst parts.
The best part was finally understanding that it isn't too late to change.
It isn't too late to learn these things, it isn't too late for me to fall in love with myself.
The best part was discovering that when it comes to a battle of me vs my memories, I can always win.
Maybe I always could.
The best part is I think I'm finally learning.
There are a lot of best parts. I...
Sometimes I'll just be sitting in my room and this wave of sadness will hit me like an ocean tide and suddenly, I'm drowning in my thoughts but they are moving too fast for me to catch them - I only catch a couple words and mostly they're words like "useless" and "love is pain" and "nobody stays" and I don't mean to push you away when this happens but nothing you could ever say could make it better because nobody can wake me up from this nightmare but my own brain and I know what you'll say, you'll say you're gonna be okay, you're gonna make a difference, I'll stay and I'll end up screaming at you, saying you won't and you'll run out of things to say to convince me that life is worth living...
Welcome to society,
we hope you enjoy your stay,
and please feel free to be yourself,
as long as it's the right way,
make sure you love your body,
not to much or we'll tear you down,
we'll bully you for smiling,
and than wonder why you frown,
we'll tell you that you're worthless,
that you shouldn't make a sound,
and then cry with all the others,
as you're buried in the ground,
you can fall in love with anyone,
as long as it's who we choose,
and we'll let you have your opinions,
but please shape them to our views.
welcome to society,
we promise that we won't deceive,
and one more rule now that you're here,
there's no way you can leave.