|I write what I feel. I write whatever comes to my mind.|
‘Who are you?’
‘Demon to some. Angel to others.’
Did I make it easy for you?
Too easy, to just walk right in and out of my life?
I know my guard is currently a little too high.
It's because I have not forgotten what happened.
I still remember the reason why it went up in the first place.
Even though my body isn't tired
My soul is.
Let me rest
But I am just a lost soul
Not wanting to be found
But waiting to be saved.
And I will be forever in pain
For I have lost my self
Ever since the night betrayed itself.
A Self Reminder:
Not everyone around you is a friend.
Know who is on your side and will defend you in your absence because only a few people actually cares.
Be careful who you vent to.
As they say, "even the devil was once an angel."
Is it possible to feel everything?
And feel nothing, at the same time?
Because I do.
"Nobody will protect you from your suffering.
You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away.
It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it.
You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.”
~Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things; Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar
“You are so brave and quiet
I forget you are suffering.”
- Ernest Hemingway
I thought you were my saving grace
But you were my ugly disgrace
My beautiful disaster.
You were my devil in disguise
And I fell
To your never ending chaos.
How many times do you have to lie?
And so many times you somehow made me believed you again and again.
Shame on you for such a big liar.
But shame on me for swallowing up your lies.
Hook, line and sinker.
How many times can you break my heart for the same thing, over and over again?
I am wounded
Yet, here I am, still standing.
You may see me smiling or laughing
But you will never how hard I tried each day
Just to be alive, breathing while drowning..
Everyday, I am reminding myself that the day will come I will be alive again
Not just breathing
But alive and living.
“One of the risks of being quiet is that the other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation:
You’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgemental.
When others can’t read us, they write their own story—not always one we choose or that’s true to who we are.”
— Sophia Dembling