|Mother, wife, gamer. ♀👧👧👧🎮💔♥🤕😞😔😟😢🌧🏝💻✒ Anxiety/social anxiety/depression/chronic pain/migraine sufferer PS4: drakon_805|
I sit awake thinking about sleeping, wishing sleep would come faster.
I want to dream about you, dreaming is the closest we can be.
Days are hard on me, nights are harder.
I grip your blanket as I try to sleep.
Tossing and turning until I fall into your arms.
Your body close to mine, your arms holding me tight.
Your lips touching mine.
Your voice echoing in my head.
How I dread waking up.
Waking up without you hurts in ways words fail to truly express.
My heart is constantly aching.
My world feels empty.
My dreams keep me grounded.
Sleep makes me feel alive.
Let sleep take me away, until we meet again....
Two bodies cuddling to stay warm.
Two against an icy cold rain storm.
Two warm drinks cooling fast.
Two bodies hoping the storm won't last.
Two awake until dawn's light.
Two fall asleep after a stormy night.
Two wake in the light of a wet new day.
Two favor the weather after the rain goes away.
-Weekly challenge get words Beginning, thoughts, pocket-
In the beginning there were two beating hearts. They had been battered and bruised. They were scarred for life. But they never gave up in hopes of finding someone who would love and protect what was left.
Those two hearts found each other. They had known each other for years. They were just off beat with each other. Until the day their beats became one. The thoughts of happiness filled them to the brink of desire. They felt light and for the first time real love.
Sometimes there are moments in life when it feels like a "choose your adventure" type of choice. The right choice can bring happiness and the wrong choice...
The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon. The birds started their morning serenade to the rising sun. A gentle wind whispering through the trees. The smell of morning dew fills the air. Alone she sits, where she has sat all night. On the lonely bench under the old shade tree.
It was one of those sleepless nights, the type of night no pill or drink on Earth could keep her eyes shut. Instead of trying to force sleep to come she took a walk. She followed the old dirt path, the one she has walked many times. It was hours before she finally reached the lookout point. A sense of peace washed over her. As she took a seat on the bench.
Thoughts filled her head, one after an...
Some days I forget.
Some days I remember.
Some days I don't care.
Some days I care too much.
Right now I want to walk this path.
I want to finish this journey.
I want to do this my way.
I want to feel the ups and downs.
I want to know I am still alive.
I want to know who I am.
I want to enjoy me, myself.
I want to appreciate myself.
I want to love me for me.
I want to love me for me.
The smell of coconut in my hair, on my skin.
The summer scent in winter.
Brushing my thigh length hair, or not.
Leaving my hair down.
Putting my hair up.
Single or double braiding it.
Loving my Asian, Native American, Spanish roots.
I still don't feel comfortable in makeup.
I don't like dresses.
I want my jeans...
This is a brief description of you.
Just take a long hard look in the mirror and you will see it too. 😊🤗💖
The rain beats down on the roof.
It's been a long cold winter without you.
I wake in the dead of night, I'm going insane.
My tears fall as heavy as the cold, hard rain.
The sound of thunder drowns out my scream.
I keep reaching for you, hoping it was a bad dream.
I keep searching for signs you are still here.
I search and seek comfort, hoping you are near.
Love never fades, memories do.
Every day that passes I lose a little more of you.
Slowly, slowly, slowly, the memories are harder to find.
Time, savage time, erases and confuses my mind.
I can still feel your love around me.
Though, it is your face that I long to see.
Send me a sign, please...
Let my heart and mind find peace.
Alone, my phone in hand, staring at my screen.
Silence, forever silence, waiting for your notification tone.
A notification tone I know can never come.
Your number is no longer yours.
You have no use for a number now.
You are gone.
Never to return.
I will see you in my dreams.
Our life together, forever immortalized through pictures.
Forever burned into my memories.
I ache for your touch.
I yearn to hear your voice once more.
Our love for each other will never die.
A man, in a near empty room, sits alone.
His mind frozen in disbelief.
His heart breaking.
He is all alone now.
For the first time in years he is on his own again.
It was less than a week ago they were making plans.
Talking about the future.
And today he held her hand as he sat beside her hospital bed.
He watched her take her final breath.
He watched as she slowly slipped away from him.
He begged, pleaded and prayed for her to stay.
And when she had gone she had taken part of him with her.
Now he sits alone, waiting for the moment they will be reunited.
It has been years since my grandfather passed away.
I have so many wonderful memories and some photos of our time together.
When I am feeling lost and alone I search through the happier times.
One of my favorite memories was one of the last times we spent together.
A cousin was in a band and my grandfather took my mom, dad, my daughter's and myself to see them perform.
That was the last dance we had together.
I was lucky enough to be there and have that one last amazing memory.
That long awaited embrace where love and perfection becomes one beautiful memorable moment.
The lustful look into your eyes as you gaze into mine.
Our shadows dancing on the wall from the candle light.
You know every curve of my body and you still desire it.
You explore every inch slowly and roughly.
Pressing your body to mine as you pull me close to you.
Kissing me deeply and passionately.
Your tongue finding mine as you press harder into me.
Your strong hand grabbing my hair as you pull my head back, sinking your teeth into my neck.
Your mouth working it's way down my body as you kiss and bite me.
Your teeth marks leaving a trail.
Your tongue between my legs.
Your teeth marks on my thick thighs.
Sending me into ecstasy with every flick of your tongue.
You flip me over biting my a...
Today is one of those days where I need you the most.
today is one of those days were you know everything is going to go wrong.
Today is a day where I will not interact with anyone else.
It doesn't matter if it's a friend or family or anybody because anything can set me off today.
I just want to hide and cry or scream at the top of my lungs I am so angry, I'm hurt, I'm tired, I'm done.
I just want this day to be over with.
Tomorrow will be better, at least I hope it is.
Tomorrow will be another day without you even though your memory is strong.
I swear sometimes I can still feel you with me.
But today, today I am so over it.
Today is just to hide away from everyone day.
Today I could really u...
The cold winter nights were always warmer with you.
Our bodies intertwined.
The feel of your hand exploring my curves.
The feel of your breath on my neck.
In complete darkness you explore my body.
Feeling every sensation from your touch.
Feeling your teeth scraped my skin just before you bite down.
You would flip me over just to bite down hard into my ass.
I can still feel your teeth in my skin.
I can feel the hard grasp of your hands on my breasts.
Your hands moving down to my hips.
Grasping me firmly pulling me back into you.
I can still feel you between my legs.
I can still feel the intensity between us.
You were always so rough and yet so gentle at the same time.
Expelling every ounce of ...
I don't celebrate holidays but that doesn't mean that I don't celebrate my family and friends.
Christmas is quickly approaching....
My thoughts are of better times.
Family gathered around the table.
The sound of the kids laughing and playing.
The smell of the food.
The love we all shared.
My memories of you.
You always thought of the children first.
You always made sure they got what they wanted.
You always made sure they were taken care of.
But now you are gone, you left us with nothing.
We are on our own now.
Don't worry the children are safe I made sure that.
I, on the other hand, seek shelter in the night.
I try to stay warm and just survive.
Since we lost you, things have gone downhil...
Missing you more and more every day.
I will always have the memories....
Our bodies intertwined.
Tongue to tongue, lip to lip.
The feel of your teeth on my bottom lip.
Your hand On my throat, kissing me harder.
Your other hand squeezing my breast.
The feel of your breath on my skin.
Teeth digging into my neck.
I feel your hands moving down my curves.
Your hands gripping my hips.
Pulling me into you.
I can hear your soft moan.
Your growl as you thrust harder into me.
Our bodies in tune.
The passion and pleasure.
The feel of your release inside of me.
Your body on mine gripping me tight.
Whispering in my ear, "mine".
I have chosen to be an Varistitian.
Varistitianism is a perfect religion, and very "me".
It is the concept that all religions are right and wrong.
The universe and all of its knowledge created all we see.
There is no right or wrong God, Gods, Goddess or Goddesses.
It's freedom to think for yourself.
Freedom to find your own path.
Thinking and beliefs can and should change over time.
It's freedom to believe without barriers.
Like the universe we also evolve.
Varistitianism allows for evolution of our minds and our beliefs.
It's not about picking and choosing.
It's about accepting everything.
It's allows us to be one with all.
It's about having a healthy mind and body.
There is no discriminat...
Today is a wet, rainy day.
Shelter is scarce.
Everything is soaked.
Thoughts of you makes me feel warm.
I remember the rainy days we spent together.
The days we wouldn't leave the bed.
Keeping each other warm.
Listening to the sound of the rain.
I can still feel your arms around me.
I miss those days.
Like the past, you are gone.
I wish I could go back.
I wish I could say I love you once more.
I wish I could tell you what you meant to me.
I wish I had a goodbye.
The rain carries your memory.
Every drop carries a thought of you.
I drink my coffee and my thoughts always turn to you.
I think back to all of the time we spent together.
All of the times we drank coffee and talked.
Now all I have are the memories of us, of you.
Coffee will always be our bond.
Everytime I drink it I will think of you.
Coffee will keep those memories alive.
I have been drinking coffee every day, all day.
I want to remember you.
Since I will never get closure.
There will never be a goodbye.
From around age 5 to age 11 my dad worked 2 to 3 jobs at a time.
My mom worked for my grandfather.
My mom was raised Christian my dad a Catholic.
I rarely went to school. I preferred being at home
I spent almost every weekend with my grand parents, my mom's parents.
I didn't get a lot of time with my dad's side of the family.
Sometimes when my dad had time off he would either wake me up at 4 am to go fishing or pick me up from school to take me fishing.
He would take me on charter boats or we would fish off of the shoreline or pier.
My mom was always home to make dinner.
I did have a babysitter for a while. She committed suicide when I was around 8 or 9 years old.
Why is writing important to me?
Writing helps me express my feelings and my thoughts.
Writing helps me get things out that I feel like I can't speak about.
Writing is my outlet, writing is my everything.
Whether it's poetry or story or just expressing my thoughts.
I've been writing stories and poetry since I was able to hold a pen to paper.
Writing is life, my life is in my writing.
They told me you passed away.
I never got to say goodbye.
I wasn't there to hold your hand.
I wasn't there to say what needed to be said.
I was told.too late to tell you what you meant to me.
I hope you knew.
My heart is breaking.
You are gone too soon.
The children will miss you most of all.
I still can't believe you are gone.
Words do this loss no justice.
I am still in shock.
Sending you my love.
Until we meet again..
25 days and counting....
25 days since I smoked my last cigar....
I smoked because of the pain.
I smoked because of the stress.
I smoked because I felt sick.
I smoked because I was sad.
The pain always remains, smoking never cured it.
The stress is still there, smoking never relieved it.
Smoking didn't cure my illness.
Smoking didn't make me happy.
(* Since I have stopped smoking I have craved tacos. I have eaten tacos every day since. If not tacos, some.form of Mexican food.)
Take me in your arms.
Pull me close to you.
Show me you want me.
Thrust your body into mine.
Grab my breast.
Bite my neck.
Make me yours.
Make me yours again and again.
I am here.
I am in the rain thinking of you.
I feel no cold, no moisture.
I feel what used to be your warm embrace.
The feel of your lips on mine.
The warmth of your body against me.
My thoughts take me home.
I'm in a place that used to be happy.
A place full of love and laughter.
A place of gathering and food.
I remember the hours of standing and preparing.
Hours of heat and sweat.
Hours on my feet cooking and baking.
Every day, endless hours in the kitchen.
I remember the look on your face as you came through the door.
Your hug from behind as I finished dinner.
The way you hugged me tight and thanked me for the food.
Memories of happier times.
I still miss you.
I will always m...
I am grateful for my children without them I have no reason or purpose.
I feel the pain, the anger, the disappointment.
I feel the fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty.
I feel time slipping away, faster each day.
I feel what used to be, crumbled beneath my feet.
I feel my body, my heart, my soul calling for you.
I feel the very essence of myself calling for you.
My body, aching for your touch.
My ears, listening for your voice.
My lips, longing to feel yours.
My neck, missing the impressions of your teeth.
My side, cold without the warmth of your body.
My thighs, lusting to feel you between.
You will never experience what I am feeling.
You will never know what I am thinking.
You will never see what you left in your wake.
You will never hear the true tone of my voi...
Underneath the darkest skies.
Underneath the brightest stars.
The cold creeps in thinking of his lies.
My broken heart bears his scars.
Tears of anguish and anger fall.
My mind filled with hate and hurt.
I create distance, I build my wall.
Memories stained with grime and dirt.
Our time together means nothing now.
All of our struggles for not.
A broken promise lead to a broken vow.
Shameless and smug even when caught.
Hearts are broken.
Trust is gone.
Fears and pain reawoken.
All because I fell for Satan's spawn.
He left her spirit broken.
Not broken, torn to shreds and tossed away.
He left her with nothing.
All she has are the clothes she wears.
No home, no shelter, no family, no friends.
No husband, only broken vows.
Alone in the world and on the streets.
Unwanted, unloved, unable to cope.
His lies haunting her.
His betrayal unforgivable.
A broken heart, a broken woman.
Her spirit lost to the universe.
Torn, ripped, shredded.