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♤◇Jade ♡♧

PO# 149423
United States
United States
I love music, writing and art.
May 22, 2015
 

As the light fades
so do you
My mind is desolate
I long and long
for something
that isn't possible
My writing is nothing special
and I don't fit

But I suppose that's life
so I must roll
with every punch
and keep getting up
Moving on
Praying for tomorrow

-Jade

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May 7, 2015
 

I stand ouside
as tears tumble down
my face

The sky erupts in a storm
causing title waves
no one gets it

It's unpredictable
you never know who
is actually
there to benifit
You

-Jade

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May 7, 2015
 

You don't know
Don't act like you do
I know what it is
I don't need you

Finally excited
and ready to try
but you rush in
and tell me its a lie

You crush my spirit
and break my dreams
I guess life
truly isn't what it seems

-Jade

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May 6, 2015
 

Flowers bloom
in the morning sun
As I run
Away from the past
Onto the light

Looking at the brilliant color
heading to the illumination
I leave the darkness
for a day
Before shying back away

-Jade

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May 6, 2015
 

My heart soars
My head is in the clouds
I know its cliché
I know how it sounds

It's foolish and empty
I know it is so
but that doesn't stop
The longing
for someone new

-Jade

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May 6, 2015
 

My heart pounds
My brain soars
I don't know me anymore
I'm lost
I can't find my way
It keeps getting hard
each day

I keep trying
but it is no use
I'm lost I'll find
something new
before I find me

-Jade

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April 17, 2015
 

Love
It's sweet
comforting
Its a dream for most

We all long for it
No one wants to be alone
We need someone to
go through life with

It hurts sometimes
but the good in the end
will outway the bad

I don't mean a marrige
when I say love
I mean someone you care about
it can be friends or family,
almost anyone

Find who you love
and who loves you
then stick with them
don't waste your time
on people who
don't care about you

-Jade

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April 17, 2015
 

Looking up at stars
There's such beauty
in the sky

No one can contain it
its nearly impossible
to take away

The sparkle
gives hope
that things
are getting better

The world may be
Spinning faster than you
but at least your not
sitting still

You've got to move
to survive
Never give up
and stay
in one place

Do what makes you happy
don't let people crush you
popularity, technology
it doesn't matter

But you
You matter
People need you
Don't leave
Keep watching the stars
Keep dreaming

-Jade

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April 17, 2015
 

The sky is beautiful
but full of rain
tears of fallen angels
flowing out of
gloomy eyelids

The rain hits our skin
The angels feel ashamed
the weakness of falling
makes them to their core

Thunder rumbles
in peculiar intervals
the angels' breathing
becomes uneasy gasps
Their body trembles
defying them

We remain in awe
from the thunder
completely clueless
to the pain causing it

We look down
on the angels
who fell
without knowing
anything about why

Tornados swirl out of control
as the angels' thoughts
cloud their mind
with painful memories

We take shelter
from tornados
but the angels cannot
escape their thoughts

A hurricane of sadness
washes over the angels
they feel worthless...

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April 5, 2015
 

Life
It goes on
Day after day
So peaceful
So cliché
Yet we all
Cherish it
In our own special way
Which gets us each
Through the day

We love it so dearly
Even through
All the pain
We remain
Just a little less sane

-Me

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April 5, 2015
 

The darkness surrounds
Pulling you down
Into an abyss
Of pain
It encloses around your face
Taking away your sight
So you can see no light

It grabs a hold
And drags you
Further and Further
From the future
Trapping you in the present

Your heart races
Longing to escape
To be free of this

It rises
You panic
You want nothing
To do with life

The darkness it takes away
Your potential
It hides your spirit
Leaving you lost
In a never ending
centrifuge of darkness

The darkness
So misunderstood
Captivates those unknowing
Leaving such curiosity
Inside them

-Me

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April 1, 2015
 

The storm is rising
Swelling inside me
The thunder is roaring
Deep in my chest
The rain its pouring
Down my checks
The lightening
Running through my bones

I am so willful
To hold this storm
But so weak
That its destroying me
Piece by piece

Leaving me with holes
That trap my soul
It proves I'm alive
But shows the death
On the inside

-Jade

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April 1, 2015
 

I bite my lip softly
Fighting back tears
Why does this happen?
Why do I feel this way?
Why am so sensitive?

It was a joke  
Nothing  more
But I can't help but fear
A hidden meaning
In those words

Behind those clear eyes
Is they're something
You're hidding?
Do you feel alone?
Hopeless?
Worthless?

Do you spend hours
Planning things out?
Do you have outbursts
Of tears?
Do you lose yourself
In music, literature and art?

You see escapes are an abyss
One that is sinister
That pulls you deep

Those words that come out
I long to respond
But I bite my tongue
I feel that's not
What you mean...
But what if I'm wrong?
What if you're just like me?

Lonely but surrounded
Sad but smiling
...

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April 1, 2015
 

There's a hole
Deep within
My chest

It sometimes
Leave me
Grasping for
Something that
Isn't there

A missing piece of me
That's buried somewhere
Inside me
Maybe my memories

Its the smiles the laughs
The butterflies
The confidence
The things I've rarely
Truly experienced

Its missed parties
Its lost friends
Its my bashfulness

Its my life
Its just a piece missing
That I can't seem to find
For it is too far behind

-Jade

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April 1, 2015
 

The colors blur
As I move my feet faster
Trying to escape this

The darkness rising
All around me
I know it will consume me

It will engulf me
It will trap me
And cage my soul

I have no control
My thoughts the run wild
Like that of a young child

No order
No sense
Just thoughts

Random they come and go
But the dark always seems
To find me again

It's starting to get
Under my skin
I don't want to give in

It hiding the light
The light
That never existed

It was always darkness
giving an illusion of light
That broke me

-Jade

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March 4, 2015
 

I tremble
I shake
My heart
It hurts
I don't know why
Or how to stop it
I can't stand it
I am breaking myself
Why can't I just ignore it
Why must I bring it up
Oh wait I forgot
I might actually be
Starting to enjoy
The pain

-Jade

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March 4, 2015
 

Why do I ask?
I know
The answers will hurt
They'll make me feel
More down
They slice me open
And lead me to tears
But still
I ask...

-Jade

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February 28, 2015
 

The words come out
No thought
Before they come
Why do I say what I think?
Why do I have no filter?
Why can't I bite my tongue?

I hate this
I hate me
I cant be happy
For very long
I can't make others happy

Why do I even try?
I'm just a waste of air
A waste of space
And I'm wasting a life
That many would kill for

I'm so selfish
I don't deserve to live
I just want to die

-Jade

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February 26, 2015
 

My brain begins
To numb
And my arms start
To feel weak
I feel my heart
Slowing in its beats
As a tingling sensation
Runs the length of my body
A good escape
From the world
Comes from the clouded mind

-Jade

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February 25, 2015
 

The pressure rises
I feel that my brain
Is going to implode

Its too much
Its all too much
I don't want to be here
Can't they see

By forcing me to be here
What its doing to me
My ears they ring
My vision in blurs
My heart it sinks
My head it pounds

Its driving me crazy
It's draining me
Of everything
I love
It sucks the happiness
Out of me

I don't want to live
Just to die
They won't let me
So I cry
dead inside
I feel to much
Can't they see
Its killing me

I look and the mirror
And it just tears me down more
My reflection it hates me
Even more
I'm not pretty
I'm not smart

Evryone thinks life
Is easy for me
But its not
The stress is immense

I see no light
It makes it hard...

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February 25, 2015
 

My hands they shake
My feet the faulter
The tension rises
My hearts beats faster

My voice its soft
It comes out in a whisper
It breaks slightly
As the words flow out

Louder my heart beats
I can here it in my ears
My vision blurs slightly

Did anyone notice?
No, no one even knows

-Jade

THE MOON STAMP
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February 23, 2015
 

My brain is losing strength
My heart is weak
I feel too much
Far too soon
I wish I felt nothing
That I could just be numb
But I  can't
And that makes it all worse
I know what is right
But I just can't keep sane
This pain
These thoughts are
Driving me insane
It hurts my brain
I'm losing myself
I'm always sad
Rarely glad
Its hard to smile
I feel alone
My heart it hurts
As I plan it all out
But I can't stop!
Its so hard
I just want to die
And no one knows why
Not even I
Yes, I hate me
Yes, I feel looked down on
But this has never
Stopped me before
But lately its becoming
Too much
I'm stretched to thin
My bones are giving in
I'm losing faith in myself
I'm wondering how much
Longer I'...

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February 23, 2015
 

I lay down
And cry
Too many feelings
Flooding my mind
Taking my breath
Leaving me gasping for air
Why? Why must I feel this way?
Why do I want to die?
Everyday?
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
Everynight?

It's because I've lost my fight
I no longer care
There is little light
In this dark world
Its becoming harder
And harder for me
To find

When you fight each day
Just to make others happy
Its hard to smile
When you get alone
You have to let it out
You don't want the others
To see
But you have to cry sometimes
You have to break down
You have to freak out
You have to be human

It hurts to let it out
But the longer you hold it in
The more power it builds
The more persuasive
Your thoughts...

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February 23, 2015
 

Life is time
Time dictates
Every aspect of life
Appoints, sleep, school
Everything goes by time
Even if we did not measure it
It would still remain there
Tome causes stress
It causes so much tesion

It crawls through my head
Making it hard to think
Pushimg me to
My absolute limit
I never enjoy it
It either passes too fast
Or too slow
I don't know
If I'll understand why
But time it has us all
Strug up with a noose
We are all at the mercy of time
We can't rewind
We can't fast forward
All we can do is try
To find
Hapiness
In each day
It is hard sometimes
But if we can just
Find something
To brighten our day
It can push our fears
A life time away

-Jade

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February 23, 2015
 

In a timeless world
Where clocks do not tick
And their gears do not turn
The stress fades away
A paradise supposedly
When actually it's a tragedy You are not free
You're trapped in time
Whether the clock hands move Or whether they stand still
It doesn't matter
There's no end to it  
Time moves on
You can either stay
And watch it move by
Or move on with it
Either way you have
To do something you have
To make a choice
In the world that's timeless
You have to find the time
To do the things
That must be done
Whether the clock has hands
Or really if they
Don't have hands at all
You can't escape time
No matter how hard you try

-Jade

KISS
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February 23, 2015
 

My heart
Beats faster
As the thoughts
Run through my mind
I can't make them stop
I feel as if my brain
Will implode
Fighting with myself
For what is right
VS what I want
What is right
Has been winning
But I don't know
How much longer
It will last
My wants are becoming
More powerful
The thoughts
More piercing
And loud
The won't stop
I pray for an end
One that will not come
So here it will be
Me VS Me
In the battle
Of my concious
That wishes for more
Than I can give
I can't hurt them
Even though it
Kills me everyday
I won't go away
It would cause to much pain
I can't cause pain
When all I want to do
Is escape it
I won't put this on someone new
Just to Escape

-Jade

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February 23, 2015
 

The weight is heavy
So is the pressure
I feel it in my skull
Crushing me

The world expects too much
And I try so hard
But just cannot
Live up to its expectations

I can not live up to my dream
If I can't live up to me
How could I live up
To the standards
Of anything or anyone else

-Jade

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February 17, 2015
 

Their eyes lay upon me
But they do not see me
I'm invisible to most
The few that do see me
Don't see me clearly
They see the smiles
The laughs
The jokes
The games
They don't see
The tears
The dark thougts
The pain
The dark shadow around me
So I keep showing them
What they want to see
Even though inside
I'm planning ways to
Kill me

-Jade

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February 17, 2015
 

I sit here surrounded by others
And I feel the tears coming
The flood gates
In my eyes opening up
I fight them back
As my thoughts persist
I don't know
If I can take much more of this
The pretending
The lies
As I slowly die inside
I want to die
Can't they see?
My mind has got a hold on me
I cannot run
I cannot hide
For there is no way
To escape your mind
All I can do is cry
As I plan out ways to die

-Jade

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February 11, 2015
 

I smile bright
I laugh hard
But if you look
In my eyes
I'm crying

I'm sad and scared
I can't show it
What would people say?
What would they do?
I know I shouldn't care
But I do

I can't bare
To be looked down on
Anymore than I am now

I'm broken
I feel alone
Even when surrounded
There's nothing I can do
But fake happiness

I can't risk hurting other
With my pain
Or drawing attention
To myself
It would just make it worse

So I fake
A smile
A laugh
A conversation
I fake my way through life

-Jade

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