Explore
Sign Up
Login

♤◇Jade ♡♧

PO# 149423
United States
United States
I love music, writing and art.
November 19, 2014
 

My heart
it beats so slow
but yet so fast
The beat quickens
at my thoughts
and slows at my rest
It is the sound alone
that keeps me sane
as my mind tells me
I am useless
and unneeded
My heart whispers
that I  special
And that I would be
greatly missed
for so many people
love me
But my mind refuses
to accept that fact
It instead states
how miserable life is
As my heart yells
that life is beautiful
To take a look around
and apperciate it
And as I do so
I see that even stuck
in this abyss
I can be happy

Thumb_signature_1416455819
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
November 19, 2014
 

Alone I stand
in the middle of a crowd
I love my family
and my friends
But not my life
If it wasn't for them
I would have "left"
long ago
But no I don't want to hurt them
so I'm still here
and I will be here
as long as they need me
But the day they don't
and I have no purpose
I will leave

Thumb_signature_1416455328
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
6
0
November 19, 2014
 

I'm stuck here
and I hate it
I dont belong
doesn't anyone understand?
I go to sleep every night
and dread getting up
the next morning
I wish
I just wouldn't
wake up

Thumb_signature_1416454897
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
4
0
November 19, 2014
 

Life contines to go on
And on I go with it
But life seems like an enternally damned loop
that I keep circling
Everyday the same thing feeling alone even when surrounded by people
feeling hopeless
like it's never
going to get any better
And that's what's opressing me from being happy and
fitting in with everyone else Its holding me
its dark abyss surrounding me Keeping me from life
leaving me isolated
And yet
no one notices
how I'm faltering
how I'm stumbling
my way through
No one asks if I'm alright
No one can tell that I'm not
and that hurts me more
It proves that they
don't care
or that I'm excellent actor
I just don't think
I was meant for this life
But Here I am
so I just keep pushi...

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
2
0
November 7, 2014
 

I sit around
Watching everyone else
As they exclude me
And leave me
For others

I don't understand why
But it hurts
You'd think
I'd be used to it by now
Its been happening since
I was little
I'm always that person
That gets replaced
When someone better
Comes along

I guess I'm just not worth it
I guess I'm unimportant
To most people
They only want me
When the need me
And that tears me down

I just want to be
Loved
Vauled
And Wanted.

Thumb_signature_1415413258
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
6
0
November 7, 2014
 

I'd do anything to have you be mine again
And remain mine forever
But I know you don't want me and that's what kills me inside It breaks my heart and soul
to know that I wasn't,
am not and never will be enough for you.

Thumb_signature_1415412822
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
0
0
October 15, 2014
 

Love is the ultimate challenge
It is all
How much one will give
And how much one can take
It's a lot of push and pull
Between two
All for the sake
of their belief that
life is better with that person
or because they can't
live without them

How peculiar it is
That the things
We love can
Kill us so easily
They wouldn't have
To raise a finger

Just say a few words
To which rip ones
Soul into millions
Of pieces
And leave them dead inside
So the only way for
Them to feel okay
Is to hurt themselves
Physically to stop
The mental pain

Thumb_signature_1413426176
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
October 15, 2014
 

I miss you
I hate to admit
Why can't I just move on?
Why anytime
I look at someone
do I compare them to you?
Am I just so stupid as to
as hang on when you
are gone?

No am I not
I have been done
I'm no longer hanging on
to anything
especially not you
you don't matter in the
frame scale of my life
but yet...
I can't seem to astray
far from the thought of you
You still captivate me
and I'd still do
anything and everything
for you...

So I suppose
that does make me
a merciful fool

Thumb_signature_1413425340
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
October 15, 2014
 

Why do you still haunt my dreams?
Night after night
Why do you still control my thoughts?
Day after day
You not caring
Is turning my life
Into a living hell
In which I don't want to live
So maybe one day I wont....
Don't be hurt when you find
It was because of you
Because you didn't care
While or when you did it
So don't care
when it kills me

(Not suicide note, just passed feeling from when I was thinking of it)

Thumb_signature_1413424808
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
October 15, 2014
 

Neglect, I feel so
strongly from you...
I know we aren't
together anymore..
But that doesn't mean
you have to avoid me

I think you know
I'm too terrified
to take the first step
again

so why can't we just be friends?
Why must you make me feel
oh, so small?
Why do I still love you?

Why does it hurt me to see you with her?
Why can't I seem to move on?
Why do you still cross my mind so often?
Why do you continue to invade my dreams, night after night?

Why don't you care, how you hurt me?
Why am I such a fool?
Why after all this
and everything before this
do I still want you
to be mine???

Thumb_signature_1413424460
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
0
0
October 9, 2014
 

As time goes on
the pain continues
dulling before
sharpening again
like a fresh blade
a blade that can be used
for so many things
to hurt myself and others
all from the mistake
of loving the wrong person
something I should've known better than to do

But there's just something
about him,
the way he moves,
his eyes,
his smile,
his laugh,
his voice,
his touch,
that I just can't shake
I know it's impractical
but I cannot change it
my love for this one man
has and is still ruining me

I hate to admit it
but I know it's true
and the dreadful part is
even after all the pain
he has set loose on me
I wouldn't even think twice
about taking him back
I'd do it in less than
a heartbeat

Thumb_signature_1412906799
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
October 9, 2014
 

Falll in love
they say
it'll be fun
they say
you can tell them anything and they'll listen
they say
they'll love you back
they say...

Trust them
they say
while they secretly look
at other girls
before finally leaving
for an illusion
of someone better...

Love may hurt you
they don't say
it may tear your heart out
they don't say
it may leave you broken inside
they don't say
it may cause you
to do inrational things
they don't say...

All they say of love
is how beautiful,
apecial, unique and wonderful
it is....

But nothing of how it
can kill you inside
how one man
can ruin you
by taking your love
for granted
leaving you alone
and empty...

Thumb_signature_1412899500
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
5
0
October 4, 2014
 

Alone I stand
no friends
to be seen
all to concerned
with what told to be
believing the lies
rather than me
tearing me down
with all the rest
go right ahead
take my heart
from my chest
leave me cold
and still
no longer with
any will
to fight the words
that cause your thrill
that make me ill

Thumb_signature_1412397528
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
0
0
September 19, 2014
 

I would really love some penpals! Check out my page and send me a letter if your intereted, I love meeting new people!

sincerely,
Elaina

Thumb_signature_1411182751
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
0
0
September 19, 2014
 

Live the Life you Love
Breathe out the hurt
and breathe in the happiness
Live life to the fullest
Dont stop living
Or change for anything
Or anyone
Do what makes you happy
Not what hurts you
If it hurts you
Run the other way
Respect others and
Don't let others disrespect you
Be strong
Be positive
Strive to meet your goals
Be who you want to be and
Love the Life you Live

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
September 19, 2014
 

All alone I stand
broken, crippled by fear
as I see them standing there
how could he leave me for her
how?

What has she got that I don't
well other than
putting out for you
I'm sorry that's
what you wanted
I'm sorry I couldn't
give it to you
but I love you
can't that be enough
obviously not but
I wish it was

I hope you know
I'll always be here
if you need someone
but I will never again
make the mistake
of being yours

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
2
0
September 16, 2014
 

Walking down
these same halls
I come to the realization
that it'll all be over soon
that it won't be long before
I'm gone
and on with my new life
but I truly wish
never to forget
this magical place
even though
it's been boring, painful
and a lot of work
it made me who I am
and I wouldn't trade
those experiences
that brought out
the true me
for anything
in the entire universe

Thumb_signature_1410918783
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
0
0
September 16, 2014
 

You make me feel
like no one else can
you make me feel special
and wanted
like you long for me

You're like my own unique drug
specifically designed
to get me addicted
and with each kiss
I gets more and more hooked

As your lips touch mine
I can't think of anything
its like I'm high
and nothing else exists
there's only you

You are like a god
and me a mere mortal
intoxicated by
the slightest glimpse
of you

Thumb_signature_1410918359
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
September 16, 2014
 

I sit here waiting,
lost, not knowing
where to go
yet no one even notices
I'm here...
I'm invisible

I look around
hoping to see someone
anyone I know
and I see no one

But then I hear a sweet voice
and turn my head to see you
I couldn't believe it
you could see me
and not as a toy
or some sort of prize
but the real me
the one that no one wants

But you
you saw the internal beauty
behind my outer grace
and thats what caught me off guard
you wanted me
not foe my appearence
but my heart
and that's what
truly suprised me

Thumb_signature_1410900339
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
0
0
September 16, 2014
 

As I stand alone
I realize that I have
an angel on my shoulder
but I have a devil on the other
I normally listen more
to the devil side
its wrong but
being bad just intrigues me
I enjoy it...
my mind flips
does that make me evil?
I truly hope not
but I know it does...
but yet I can't seem to stop
and I'm starting to think
that maybe
I don't want to stop
and that thought
Petrifys me

Thumb_signature_1410898761
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
0
0
September 16, 2014
 

I'm over it
I'm done
I don't need or want you
anymore
I've let our memories
haunt me for far too long already
I'm ready to make new
without you

There's so much out there
that I missed
while I was busy
teying to keep you
and now with you gone
I plan to see and try it all

So thank you
for making see
how wrong you were
for me
it took some time
but in the end
the pain and suffering
was all worth it
because it set me free

Thumb_signature_1410895487
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
September 16, 2014
 

Why won't my mind
let go
of these memories
which haunt me
happy memories they are
but all they bring is pain
they drive me nearly insane
why won't my mind forget you
you broke me
tore me down
and left me alone
not caring for even a minute
about what it would do to me
so I ask myself
the same question
"If I can't remember
and I can't forget you...
What can I do?"

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
3
0
September 16, 2014
 

I am a shadow
always around
but never payed any attention to
it's the light that creates me
but yet I am dark
I follow people around
all my life
but yet no one
gives me
a second glance

Thumb_signature_1410894498
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
4
0
September 15, 2014
 

Exhasted I lay
wishing for nothing more
than for sleep to find me
but alas it lapses me
skips me and leaves me here
so tired I can barely move
but yet my mind swirls
in twists and bounds
thinking of a million
different ideas and things
thats are merely foolish
but yet captivate me
hide me from sleep
and hypnotize me into
such a spell that
I cannot break
which makes me
wish I was not tired
and that I would never sleep because such beautiful thought
dance in my head  until I slip into inconcious
and  the others take over
and take away
theses beautiful thoughts
leaving me feel
helpless, alone and terrified
but yet I cannot
escape them
they haunt me
but the worst thing is
that they ...

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
2
0
September 14, 2014
 

As I lay in bed
my mind wonders
to you
and how much
I wish you were here
beside me
to kiss and feel
as much as just
for the comfort
you give me
just knowing your near
makes my heart
beat a little faster
I long for you
to be with me
anytime your not
I miss you
and my mind never
stops thinking of you
oh how much
I truly do love you

Thumb_signature_1410748690
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
September 14, 2014
 

Music plays softly into my brain
expressing it mood
its feelings
and influencing my own
as I feel its message
run through my body
penetrating my soul
giving me a new outlook
a glance through
someone else's eyes
a glimpse into their life
something that enlightens me
on how others in this world
think and what
influences them,
what inspires them
and makes them happy
or sadens them
or breaks them down
and the best part
is it shows you
you're not the only one
with such feelings.

Thumb_signature_1410736266
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
2
0
September 14, 2014
 

The sun rises to a new level
it shines brighter in my eyes
today is different
everything seems more distict
everything more beautiful
I can actually enjoy life
its a feeling like no other
and I wouldn't trade it
for anythimg

Thumb_signature_1410735624
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
0
0
September 14, 2014
 

The feelings
there are too many
they surround me
put a tight knot in my throught
and make me wish
I didnt feel at all
longing for nothing more than
too be numb
to not feel the pain
from the long remebered happiness
and from filling memories
that tear my soul apart
and leave my lungs gasping for air.
I dont want to be here
but I refuse to leave
I'll stand my ground
tall and powerful around you
entirely fine, happy even
but whem I'm alone
I'm weak,
empty and broken
but I refuse to show you
I'm hurt
I will not look weak
you took adavntage of me once
and I will never allow it
to happen again

Thumb_signature_1410733643
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
3
0
September 14, 2014
 

♡The pure intoxication I get just from looking at you!☆

Thumb_signature_1410732376
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0
September 14, 2014
 

Dear Reader,
     Life is a journey we all travel and some are better equipped for it than others, but in the end we're all taking it alone. No matter how many friends you have or how close you are with your family, one day you will hit a point when you have to do it alone. The most important thing to remember about it is that whatever you choose, life will go on. No matter how bad the situation seems, one day it will be better.
     Never give up, always push through...I know how generic that sounds but I mean it. I know its not easy by any means but if you get through it will be soo much better than you can even imagine right now. As crazy as I sound, I've been there. I know how hard it is...

ORIGINAL
Thumb_1450225927
PO#149423
1
0