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PO# 593236
United States
United States
"Poetry at its core" I'll be focusing on poetry and I hope you enjoy what you read.
May 18, 2020


In response to Billie Eilish's song idontwannabeyouanymore:

I don't want to be you anymore
The person I see in front of me is not the person I want to see
Ya know, they say we're our own worst enemies, and I think they're right
Because of you, I'm stopping at red lights and that's not where I want to be

Green light's is where I'd like to go
Not be stopped for driving so slow
Not be told that I'm not doing my utmost to be who I am
Not be told that every turn is wrong, damn!

Don't you get it?
I don't want to be you anymore
Because the you I am is not the you I am
You and I aren't on the same page no more

May 18, 2020

In response to Billie Eilish's song

I wish I can sell the mood I feel
But then what would become of the person who I sold my mood to?
I know its not a big deal
Because, in the thick of it, I would love to sell my mood to anyone who'd buy it and I wouldn't care if they now feel what I do

But.. while I'd love to sell my every mood
And I'd love to tell you the stories every mood held
So that when you are the one who carries it around, you'd know why this mood was so emotionally blued
And then you'd know exactly why that emotion, I felt

I can't, simply because my emotions wouldn't be able to fill you with as much emotion as they would typically fill me
And, to me, that...

May 18, 2020

I'm praying to empty ears
I'm hoping that what I'm saying is heard loud and clear
But it seems like the words I say reach a wall and don't go further
Why, oh why? They're not meant to hurt her
I just want an answer, dear God
I just want an answer, oh, God

I can't handle waiting for that answer it seems You've been saving
I get it; I do
The money's short and so saving is the best thing for You
But, God, I ask why this long a wait?
God, I ask? And no words do I hear back and I do feel frustrated
Because I've waited
For this answer that doesn't seem to come
And, yes, in its own way, thats an answer too
And, yet, I hope it isn't; because that answer might not benefit me as much as it does You

April 25, 2020

When life get too difficult, you call up a friend
When things get too hard, they're there
But when it gets too hard to keep them, they're thrown around the bend
And you no longer show them that you care

When life gives you happy moments in the midst of so much sadness, you call up a friend
And tell them the good news
They're so glad to hear it and hugs, through the phone, they send
Until those moments are too much for them too

When a friend is there and they say they will always be, don't take their word for it
They can also leave as they please
And there is nothing you can do to change their mind; with this, you gotta sit
And there is no chance to beg on your knees

So, while a friend is s...

March 4, 2020

Oh, how I wish to talk to you
Oh, how I wish to walk with you
How I wish to let you in
How I wish to carry a smile on my chin
How I wish you were here
How I wish to clear the air
How I wish to be your friend
How I wish that this will come true and the rules, God will bend
How I wish you wanted the same
How I wish to be in the same league as you, so that you and I can play the same game
How I wish all of this came true
How I wish to know that you still love me too
How I wish to know you still care
How I wish you were still here

February 9, 2020

My dream job:

Oh, my dream job! I'd want to be able to be a therapist AND a doctor all in one. I'd help more patients that way, I'd think. Because I like both science and psychology, it's really hard to figure out which one I'd want to be. Many people say I'd be great at being a therapist and that's not my only passion; I want to help people in both capacities: as a therapist AND a doctor! I wish, oh how I wish, I could be both!

February 9, 2020

Doors, doors, so many doors that want to open
And I just don't want to open them because I know, inside of each one, I'm broken
But these doors don't give up on opening up
And I keep on pushing them shut
Because how can I open so many doors, knowing what's behind each?
Each door holds another broken part of me that will suck me like a leech
If opened too much, my broken heart will tear
And who am I without a heart; I need this to be there
I need to have a heart within me because I need to survive
Not just to live, but also to be alive
Each door is closed now because each one contains a broken piece of me
And I don't want to break myself anymore than that; by opening those doors, I'm letting t...

October 30, 2019

Shards of glass, behind her
She's now slowly coming apart
She was once this beautiful vase
Holding flowers with petals shaped like a heart

Broken, she now stands
Almost completely gone
With no tears left to cry and no way to cry them
Nightfall has come with no hint of dawn

And, yet, somehow, someway, she must prevail
She mustn't give in to the broken shards behind her
She must stand tall and, like that Asian proverb she once heard, she will find a way to pick up the pieces
She mustn't let the broken pieces behind her, bind her

She will triumph, despite the odds
And so, with the very last of her strength, close to being totally broken,
She reaches out

August 14, 2019

I'm sick and tired of being brave
Because I've been brave for too long
I'm sick and tired of being smart
Because than my knowledge is put under a label that is so wrong

I'm sick and tired of being kind
Because its than taken advantage of and I than feel used
I'm sick and tired of being friendly
Because I feel it's being misinterpreted or misused

I'm sick and tired of being strong
Because I feel like the amount of strength I've used has made me weak
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired
Because than, I view life through a lense that is more bleak

I'm sick and tired of putting on a smile and possibly pretending everything's alright
Because I don't feel better for it at all
I'm sick and ...

August 14, 2019

I'm done
I'm done with being played like a fiddle
I'm done with being played like a drum
I'm done with being played like a violin
I'm just done

I'm done with being played like a guitar
I'm done with being played like saxophone
I'm done with being played like a viola
I'm done with being played like an idiophone

I'm done with being played
That is all
I'm done
I'm not a hoop that's waiting for its ball

I'm just done
My heart has had enough of being played
My mind has had enough of being played
My body has had enough of being played
I'm. Just. Done.

I'm not someone you play with and get away with playing, at the end of the day
Like I said, I'm not an instrument of pleasure nor am I a sport
I ...

June 20, 2019

I don't need to be an archealogist to dig up my past
I don't need to be a speaker to leave an impression that'll last
I don't need to be a doctor to heal the inner me
I don't need to be a taxi driver to, the road in front of me, see
I don't need to be a therapist to heal my mind
I don't need to be a charity organization in order to be kind
I don't need to be a babysitter to watch life grow
I don't need to be an actor in order to be a part of life's show
I don't need to be a psychic in order to, my future, see
I don't need to be a beekeeper to be as sweet as honey
I don't need to be a teacher to leave a mark on those who walk into the room I teach in
I don't need to be a famous sports player w...

May 29, 2019

Isn't there a rainbow after rain?
Why don't I see it yet?
Will I ever get to see the rainbow and see what I needed to gain?
Do I need to continue to fret?

Or is this the rainbow in disguise?
Why does a rainbow feel so much like rain?
I can barely see in front of my eyes
Is a rainbow supposed to make me feel like I'm going insane?

Isn't rain supposed to bring growth to the plants on the Earth?
Am I not a plant that has done a lot of growing and, for once during this growth process, just wants to see the rainbow?
Why is my rain just not helping me feel anything but not much worth?
And me, as a plant, just doesn't get the chance to show myself because there is no time to do so?

I need this gr...

May 12, 2019

The life of a piano ain't an easy one
It sits there in all its glory, waiting to be played
It might sit there for years, forgotten under a blanket by someone
Or it might be played by a player who leads his, or her, audience down a path s/he newly made

The keys bring out a melody oh, so meaningful
The only ones who can play it are those inclined to music and the musical ear
Some people forget that this is not true and complete and utter bull
And, truth be told, we never really know who has that ability to play music that people are inclined to hear

Each note says another thing; brings out another tune
Each note tells another story and brings the story to life in the melody that whomever choo...

May 2, 2019

We're builders; not breakers
We're the fire; not the candlestick maker
We're the passion; not the hate
We're the compassion; not people who easily frustrate
We're the foundation; not the bricks
We're the flea spray; not the ticks
We hold hands; not letting go
We stand by each other; not letting the other one be forgotten as part of life's show
We each play a part; not forgotten in life's play
We each add a note; not a forgotten melody, we are every day
We each play an instrument only we can play; not given an instrument of no use to us
We are children; not the driver on a school bus

And, as such, we each play a part and aren't forgotten along the way
So, what I'm trying to say is that, as fr...

May 1, 2019

Tangled in light
Our love shines bright
In the night

Tangled in love
Our love is felt through the air and feels strong enough
And is as white, and pure, as a dove

Tangled in our hands embrace
We hold each other tight and don't let our eyes off of our faces
Because we know that our love, no matter what, can stand the sands of time and still remain in this loving place

Tangled and encased
In the love we never chased
We realize that our love is our own version of an embrace

Tangled in the love we feel
We realize it's even more real
Because we have each other and our hearts will forever be stolen by the other, even if we didn't want, it, to steal

Tangled in strings made of steel
We realize t...

April 16, 2019

Tranquility is what I seek
It's hard to find in a second or more
Because it's not so easy to, into it, get a peek
For right now, it's behind some door

I don't know where that door is
Nor am I sure that right now is a good time for me to look for that door
Because, right now, I see no abyss
And that would be reason enough for me to look for it and possibly find more

More than I expect to, right now, find
Because, in the chasm that is the abyss, there's no looking back as you fall
But, right now, I accept that I'm not in that abyss nor is tranquility anywhere nearby to help me out of this bind
Even though I'm not in any abyss, there's still a need to find tranquility and I know, deep down (no...

February 26, 2019

God, please guide me
Please stand beside me
In my struggles, I need You
Please help me through

God, my prayers, please hear
I am crying and really want a listening ear
I don't want to do this alone
I don't want to go through this on my own

God, You stand by Your people no matter the plight
I know I'm one in a million, but please, no matter what, help me fight this fight
I really need Your helping hand helping me through my hard times and helping me be me
I really need You to help me see

God, You see the parts of me that I don't see
Even the parts that I really want to see and understand clearly
Because I am lost in this world and, me, I cannot find
I am lost in my own mind

God, I wish, I ...

February 17, 2019

The road to success is under construction, you say
I say the same thing in a different way
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, you might say too
But I have a different point of view

The road to success isn't under construction; it's almost all in your hands
The road to hell isn't always paved with good intentions; at least, not always by man
The road to success is up to God and you to build
Man and his evil deeds will not help him with both; especially, up any hill

No matter the size of the hill and no matter what the hill is made up of, you've always got a choice as to whether the hill is a climb and/or the hill is made up of good deeds
Don't ever forget that both you and God d...

January 23, 2019

She can't express what she feels inside
What more does she need to hide?
Her feelings are not being addressed because, to some people, they're not there
And that's not fair
Oh, she knows life ain't fair and life ain't cherries and rainbows galore
But the pain, the anguish.... How much more?
How much more can she take of the unspoken feelings that are ready to pop out?
How much of herself does she need to do without?
Because who is she if she has feelings and is being a human like everyone else on this Earth?
Does she need to be numb in order to have some worth?
Why do her emotions need to be stifled and why to people think they need to be pushed aside?
Because than those exact people can walk...

January 9, 2019

I want to scream... but my mother can hear me
I want to scream... that my father never sees me
I want to scream... but what about the neighbors?
I want to scream... but what about the haters?
I want to scream... but what about the men?
I want to scream... but what do I do AFTER then?
I want to scream... but what will happen to my vocal cords?
I want to scream... that I am never even heard
I want to scream... but with what words?
I want to scream... but don't want to be left out in the cold
I want to scream... but am afraid to be THAT bold
I want to scream... but am afraid I'll never stop
I want to scream... and I don't even know what
I want to scream... but where do I begin?
I w...

December 30, 2018

I don't know where to start
There are so many feelings deep within my heart
If I start crying, I am sure I will explode
I don't even want to go down that road
I am sure that I will cry like there's no tomorrow
But I am not sure if I'm ready to face that sorrow
I am so scared of something and I don't want to be
Every day, I am blocking out this fear because, it, I do not want to see
I don't even know why I am so afraid
All I know is that it keeps on coming in cascades
I so badly want to feel better, but I don't know how to even start
All I feel is broken pieces of what once was my heart
I don't want to face the fear, whatever it may be
But it may be the only thing stopping me from...

December 9, 2018

There is an invisible rope called life
Every day, we continue to climb
Sometimes, we fall down an inch or two
But we always manage to climb back just in the nick of time

The rope seems endless and may leave us out of breath
But we continue the climb up, no matter the obstacles in our "path"
We take a step up, hoping it's the right one
Hoping we won't face another obstacles "wrath"

As we continue the cllimb up, we wonder if this rope will ever end
But life is the rope, and if it ends, that means we did too
So appreciate the cimb
I know it's hard; trust me. I have been, it, through

I am still climbing; I am still a work in progress
I have made the climb till now and so can yo...

November 25, 2018

Imagine, if you will, walking down a path
The trees surrounding you in their loving embrace
But all you feel is their wrath
It's written all over their face

Inside, you feel a tornado of feelings that seem to show up outside of yourself too
But all you want to do is just to walk down this path
And enjoy the scenic view
Not to face the trees apparent wrath

You continue walking, seeing the trees wrath grow
You decide to quicken your pace
And not walk so slow
You walk so fast away as if you are in a race

As you leave the path with the trees no longer in view
You breathe a sigh of relief, not even realizing it escaped your lips
But, as you continue on to a place you call home,...

October 19, 2018

There is a time a place for things
There's a time and place to be a human being
There's a time and place to do what you feel you need done
There's also a time to set aside time to have some fun
There's a time where all of ourselves is tested
There's a time where our bodies don't feel so rested
There's a time where pain hurts more than the words said
There's a time where things go on in a loop over in our heads
There's a time where times change into a different time
There's also a time where time itself has no reason or rhyme
There's a time where we question our own existence and wonder where we belong
There's a time where we might not have so much strength to face any obstacle coming our way,...

June 15, 2018
Airmont, United States

I'm not perfect, and almost never claim to be
I have a lot of issues as some people can clearly see
I am insecure, or at least, I consider myself so
I am not independent and I know I'll have to take things slow
I am fearful of a lot of things
But, most of all, I'm sometimes not okay with what God brings
They do say that you don't have to like everything given to you
But I want to like things more then I do
I don't want to let life give up on me
But I'm probably giving up on it before it can do that to me, see?

So, as I said, I'm not perfect and don't claim to be
And I do have issues, as some can clearly see
But will these issues I think I have stop me?
Or will I grow from them like a tree?

June 12, 2018
Monsey, United States

I am stuck
I don't know how to go on
I don't know where to go from here
All I know is that my job here on Earth is not yet done

I don't know what God has planned for me
I don't know what to do next in life
Do I find a job?
Or do I become someone's wife?

I am existing, but I'm not living
And I don't know how to live normally
All I know is that I'll continue on until I find something...
Something that'll give me a reason to go on to see the possibilities awaiting me

My Heart
June 12, 2018
Monsey, United States

I don't remember the exact moment you stopped speaking to me
I don't remember the exact moment you broke my heart
I don't remember when that happened
But my heart is now in shards

I can't trust a guy because of you
I don't know how to love because of you too
I'm afraid to put myself out there and see what guys are like
Because you ruined that for me more then 3 times and that's a strike

Why did you stop speaking to me?
Did I do something wrong?
Did I become a burden to you?
Or am I, to you, too strong?

What did I do wrong to deserve this as a punishment?
Did I do a sin?
Did I hurt you?
Do I deserve to feel like I belong in a garbage bin?

Why make me feel this way?
Why hurt ...

June 4, 2018
Airmont, United States

There are so many empty
Words that are spoken
There are so many promises
That end up being broken

There are no actions to prove
That what you said is real
There are no feelings involved
In any deal

If there were
You'd keep what you said
If there were
It wouldn't be on a loop in my head

So forget about the words
And think about the act
Will you fulfill the words
And promises you once made while you had some tact?

Or will you forget
That word you once said
And make it go on a loop
In someone else's head?

June 3, 2018
Airmont, United States

I need to know that I'm okay
I need to know that my way is not the way
I need to know that I'm not the one holding the world in my hand
I need to know that I'm not the one in command
I need to know that I only hold the key
I need to know that I don't hold eternity
I need to know that this isn't me
I need to know that I'm just seeing, but I'm not in control of what I see
I need to know that I'm just part of God's overall plan and I'm not who He is
I need to know that my life isn't mine to control and that's what's been amiss
I need to know that I don't have to start with I need to know
I just want to grow
I want to grow into who I'm destined to be
Whether or not it's approved by me
I just want...

May 31, 2018
Airmont, United States

Go through the rain and come out refreshed
As if your past is no longer hanging on your feet like a ball and chain
The rain might be hard to go through
But go through the rain and, so many things, you'll gain

You'll gain what YOU need to gain
No matter what it is
And you'll feel better
You don't have to tell anyone because it's not their biz

So, go through whatever you need to go through
And I promise you that you'll gain more than you'll lose
You won't have to have that ball and chain anymore
Imagine how you'll feel when you'll look back at your life, amused

You're not carrying around with you something you dislike
You're carrying around you
And your past can go where the past belongs: in...