You have been egregious to me by rejecting my love for you. All I ever wanted was to be with you forever. And I get this. I have every right to be angry. You hurt me. You don't want me anymore. And that hurts. It hurts so bad I don't know how to process it. I'm broken. Lost. And jaded. I'm in denial mostly. I'm nothing without you babe. Nothing. How do I live without you. How?
You loved me like no other. Your wings protected me from the storms. Love kept her in the air when she oughta fall down and now your gone but not forgotten. You say you want to be alone but be best friends. I try to understand your feelings your point of view. But my heart strings are struck and broken. My mind plays over our life together and says why? How? How did we end up this way? Why did we not grow old together? Why are we not the couple we imagined we'd be? Did I ruin you? Did I ruin us? With my disease of the mind and heart did I kill you? You say I didn't do such things but I wonder if you say them to save my heart. Oh my love, how I miss you so. I lay in his bed and wish it was yo...
Life of I.
My world is confusing. The man I'm with is impatient. He doesn't understand my mental illness which makes me believe he doesn't understand me. He makes comments about other people who have problems as "crazy" or "a brick short of a load". When he does this it takes a stab at me. Because I take it personally. I'm crazy at times. I'm that person he talks about as not being able to take care of themselves. My wife did everything for me. I tried to tell him that from the very beginning. And then it gets us into an argument. Sometimes I feel we argue more than are happy. But maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. But that's just me. Little old sensitive m...
I'm in limbo. I feel like I'm in limbo. My life is all jumbled up and a complete collapse of my mind and heart. My wife and I are no longer together but best friends but my heart doesn't know how to feel about it. My heart hurts when I think about that future. I'm with a man who is 27 years older than me who doesn't understand my bipolar disorder who babies me when it comes to my mental illness. He keeps saying that he's on my side and he's supporting me through my illness but he's not my wife. He doesn't know how to deal with my bipolar. I need to educate him she says. Bring him to my therapy appointment she says. He loses his patience with me when I become too sensitive and I don't underst...
Our love transides.
Like the tides
We want to broadcast it.
Like a horse chomping at the bit.
She wishes she could display it.
But she knows some would grit.
He loves her unconditionally.
And he does it without difficulty.
The lost lovers are lovers for all.
It's for the haul.
If I could have just one best friend from anything fictional it would be Hanna from 13 Reasons Why. It's about Newcomer Katherine Langford plays the role of Hannah, a young woman who takes her own life. Two weeks after her tragic death, a classmate named Clay finds a mysterious box on his porch. Inside the box are recordings made by Hannah -- on whom Clay had a crush -- in which she explains the 13 reasons why she chose to commit suicide. If Clay decides to listen to the recordings, he will find out if and how he made the list. This intricate and heart-wrenching tale is told through Clay and Hannah's dual narratives.
13 word story.
She had hair of black
Eyes of grey
And lips that may too.
Photo challenge 70
She's tangled with wire for only to write to her hearts desire.
The wire will tire when the paper will go on fire.
For its not the wire that's the lair it's the fire of her desire.
The 🌹 rose.
She was just the seed that started the faith of millions. The stalk of thousands depending on her strong green nourishment. The sharp thorns of hundreds looking past the flaws to the one true source of her beauty. The rose. So red and soft with the love of
tens, she will not wilt or
fade, because she is loved by millions.
Worry worry worry
My mind doesn't stop, oh mercy!!
Having surgery so scared to go under the knife.
I don't want to lose my life but let me dream of my wife.
Worry worry worry
Don't make them hurry.
Make them be sturdy.
Help me heal
Help me deal
Help me to have faith.
Even tho if I do go to do space.
Tick tock goes the clock
Eyes wide shut like a lock
Mind races like the docs
Tick tock goes the damn clock.
Life of I.
Family can be a bitch. But hey you don't get to fucking pick who's your blood, unfortunately. I'd rather be related to some of my friends who are assholes than my family. Goddamn they piss a person off. Of all the things I did for them to only get treated like the outcast. The pimple on their ass. Really? I mean really? It's shaming. I hope one day they feel the pain they have caused me to the point where they can't catch their breath with the crying they have done. Fucking pricks. What really tweaks my ass hairs? Is they think they are better than me. How? How is another human being better than another? Is it just by house and home? No. I've met some pretty amazin...
I would simply wish for my wife and I to live forever. To not have her by my side would devastate me. Forevermore.
With head hung and bottle in hand mans best friend never fades. He stands with tail up and head borrowed in owners lap loving him. No matter the circumstances he stands. Whether you are angry or sad he stands. He borrows his head in your chest with unconditional love. This is our friend our family our dog.
One day before sunrise a fallen angel was hanging her head crying on a cliff. Serendipity was her name. She was the angel of shame. Watching the light between oceans she cried. Cried for herself and for mankind. She felt such shame for herself and for the poor people that walk the earth in pity. What could she do to fix them? Nothing. That was her demon to bare. That she could do nothing to fix the shame of the people.
I am bipolar.
When confronted with the willingness and the perseverance to get out of bed in the morning it's almost as difficult as not drinking and drugging when your an addict. Some bipolar people say they wouldn't rather live in a manic state because it can be chaotic extremely irritable or you can be really angry but with me to be honest I think I'd rather be manic and live in this depressive state of mind where I can't or don't want to get out of bed in the morning and I just cry. I cry for the willingness to get out of the oyster and I am the pearl because the longer I stay in that bed and more beautiful I made you come because the uglier I feel. It's so hard to explain to people wh...
Short and violent jolts
Go through me like lightning bolts
I'm laying all relaxed
Then boom I grasped
All at awkward times of the day meetings, appointments, sleeping
Hands grasps forehead in despair why why me screeching.
But after awhile of taking mind off the problem
I am now an awesome possum.
Movies and good reads
I always say my story would be "life of I". What it would entail would be some epic battle between the devil and his brother GOD. But that's not what life is really about is it? Life is really about our internal battles and how we handle them. The "little bumps in the road" so to speak. But how the fuck am I dealing with my "bumps". Not well actually. I have issues let me quote
"I'm jealous, I'm overzealous
When I'm down, I get real down
When I'm high, I don't come down
I get angry, baby, believe me
I could love you just like that
And I could leave you just this fast
But you don't judge me
'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too
No, you don...
The perfect date. I would like to get treated like a princess for day. Jetted off to Scotland because that's where my wife is from, dress up in a beautiful expensive dress have my hair done and have a limo pick us up from the castle where we are staying and take us to the most gorgeous place to see and eat the is. Once done then go back to a ball. Change into a ball dress and dance with my wife and friends till the sun comes up. When the sun comes up kiss under the stars.
Skylark challenge 82
With her crimson hair she gazed out the window with empty coffee cup in hand. Her mind wondered with a peculiar compassion for the woman outside begging for change on the corner, as she listened to her mind the rhythm of her heart slowed with sadness; she used to be that woman on the corner. The trail of how she got there to here wasn't important for the only thing that was, was the people who showed her compassion along the way. For that was the true human spirit.
She sets the city on fire.
Here's the lyrics.
"She Sets The City On Fire"
Everybody knows she's a perfect ten
And I'm hanging on tight til the whole thing ends
Cause New York sky don't get much brighter
She sets, she sets the city on fire
Somebody told me if I'm not careful
Well, this one's gonna roll me
I got my hands full and this one's gonna own me and control me
I'm so mystified
She caught the last train last night, left another note
Saying "see you next time; miss me if you don't"
You look good in your bed; til we meet again
You went through my head and nobody told me so
Everybody knows she's a perfect ten
And I'm hanging on tight til the whole thing ends
Cause New York ...
Movies and alone.
I have been constantly searching for something for someone to connect with. "Everyone around me feels connected to something connected to something not me never have have" since a child I have never felt I had belonged anywhere. That sense of forever searching for home. But the feeling of being connected is different. I believe they are talking about more about a higher power. How we all should feel connected and unconditional love for the man in the sky. I feel as for me as I work the steps of AA I will be more connected. To myself and to others.
Skylark challenge 80
Aye I was just a wee thing when all mates and I decided we'd go to the creek and play in the running water and watch the trout jump and cause ripples out of the then calm open water. You could hear chirping of many of animals it almost made you like you were not alone.
We all were only children probably should not have been out there alone but it was would you do. On our way back to the river after sack lunch two mates of mine trying to running while doing Breaded flowers for their. And the obvious happened. On girl fell chipped her front tooth. One of children had a grest idea what if. They make a makeshift raft and sail it with s sleeve. It could actually would. ...
It was this tag was sent out from the universe right to lettrs tonight. What is my addiction? While others simply put "coffee" or "chocolate" or shoot maybe "tv" or "social media" I'm not so simple. I'm an addict/alcoholic and my name is Beth. From the time I can remember I loved booze and how it made me feel like I had control. Until there was too much control and I drank into dark places where no one should seek. Where you chase the demon from drug abuse seeking that first high. Constantly chasing the alcohol addiction with the drug addiction. This is my disease. This is my addiction. Where if I don't go to meetings and associate with sober people I will go back out because I ...
Skylark challenge 79
She had never been to "Beauty and the Beast". This was her chance to go with her dad. Bell was a tall thick caucasian girl with blonde hair. Obviously named from the movie. So this year for Father's Day she decided to draw up this gorgeous invitation for when the play was on broadway, Bell bought two tickets. One for her and one for her father. The day of the play Bell was on her way over to her parents house. Not living far away the drive to the city wouldn't take long, she began to feel confusion, loss in time, and ended up somewhere else? She awoke in front of a long beautifully set table with high candles with an in wall china cabinet. She wasn't tied down. Just sit...
Life of I
Sometimes I find life difficult with the zest of drama. Especially my kind of drama. The occasional flirting here the side to side gesture there. Just like to gently remind everyone I still got it. Or am I reminding myself after bouts with sickness I still got it. I crawl where it is familiar. In the trashiest of ways at times. I spy someone with in my reason has certainly grabbed my attention and answered all my questions. I lock them in like the eyesight of a gun. Slightly obnoxiously obsessed with them but they don't seem to care due to they are getting what they wanted too. Sex. This is where it always gets fuzzy as I start to develop feelings in my manic state. Ha...