I'm sad I'm scared I'm frighten and not prepared. I thought life was like roses full and pretty. But life for me is sad and bitty. I want love I want happiness but will I ever find it in this world that is now madness.
Life is hard, life is a game.
Life hurts life causes pain.
Life is crazy life is insain.
Life can craze you every minute of every day.
Life is once no second chance,
Life can be all that you could ever dream of.
Life is hand but stand strong.
Life becomes fun when you forget about the little problems and remember we only get one.
I'm scared, I'm alone.
My thoughts are hurting the scars on my heart,
I can't find all the pieces in the dark.
I can't see light, as I look all around.
I really need help to be pulled out of this hell.
Angels are trying, to guide me right, but I can't hear them, through this bubble of darkness I'm in.
I feel them their, I feel their pain of trying to get through to this bubble of pain.
I cry but tears don't help, makes me feel that I'm weak no doubt.
I wish I had a magic wand to bring all I had I've now lost.
I'm hoping my angels are strong enough, to break through this painful darkness bubble I'm in.
I hope I can keep my fighting strength up,before I feel it's time to GIVE UP!!!
I haven't been on for a while, had life issues to sort but in style.
I told the love of my life that I wanted a chance, but he knocked me back with the biggest of rejects.
Patching my heart up still, doing new hobbies to keep life real.
I feel a bubble is around me, to keep me at arms length of releasing me.
I feel good health wealth and freedom coming, just got to keep strong and keep going.
I'm back peeps hope you are all well I'll keep posting. X
SOMETIMES YOU MAKE THE WRONG CHOICES TO GET TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
I sent my one true love of 17 years, a card and a chain, on that one special day where we can confess our love for who we love.
The chain splits in two and I sent both parts to him to choose?
I've not heard from this man, should I take the silence as a good sign instead?
Not quite sure what to do or think. Maybe the Stars will tell me tonight when I go walk to look up at the bright twinkling lights, the shine and twinkle so pretty and bright.
Maybe I'll get my answer then.
On what to do with this problem I have.
As I lay asleep with you late Saturday evening gone,
I lay with my back turned away from the person that has my heart for good.
We not together as much as I will it to be, I think of all this as I lay heart beating fast.
In the quiet I hear a voice " come closer to me" so I snuggled in, his arm around me for my head to rest, while the other I hold. I squeeze tight.
As I lay wrapped in his arms, I felt soft kisses placed apon my neck, it felt so sweet so breath taking so deep. I felt so special safe and loved. Untill the morning came we had to depart I cried all the way home for I wish I'd of told him I love him dear but at what expense would it come to.
Would I lose him for ever for telling h...
I met with the person who has held my heart for 17 years,
Sitting and talking to him with out breaking a tear.
The love so strong I just want to tell him so much,
But scared of that rejection and could mess the perfect friendship up.
So stuck on what to do for being inlove with him for so long. I feel so lost and confused. He never said no nor has he said yes, what does this mean for me with his actions and his word he said.
I'm so confused up set and hurt.
Please mother universe help me choose.
The 18 January was a scary day
Sat at the back of a court, to find out results of a lasting experience.
Braced and ready to read my impact statement, trying so hard to hold back tears.
I feel them rolling down my cheeks.
I get a tissue look to the judge applogise for being so shaken and withdrawn.
Carry on in a soft voice and take your time. I continue to read to the last word was said.
I sat back with mum, holding her hand braced and scared angry and fear, I hear everything and my tears stream, then to hear those words that he got what was deserved was humbling.
I still feel justice not been served, but I've saved so many lives now with one nasty evil twisted human behind bars, with my life ...
The new year has started, I got a text.
Happy New year it said but also hope,
Hope I've hoped for years and years to come.
Or is this my heart ruling my head again ready to be hurt.
What do I do make a fool, tell the truth fingers crossed hoped for best.
Or leave it be move on but my heart won't let me it just keeps holding on......
New year's Eve is upon us, all getting ready for fresh new start. While most will be celebrating in the new year cheer.
I'll be sat on my swing looking into the night sky, looking for a magic shooting star I can wish upon this night.
In belief I will receive what I ask, for nothing can be more special that the heart of the one you love.
To start your new year full with love.
Written for my special someone who has the missing piece of my heart.
To feel your heartbeat, every single beat.
To touch your skin, with just my finger tips.
To smell you in the crook of your neck.
You have become my addiction, an addiction I cannot over come.
You are an amazing high, never felt before.
I wish you felt the way I do, I've fallen hard for a lot of years truth.
I wish I knew how you felt for real, guess work it's a kill.
It's getting close, everywhere you look people are rushing like hell. Making sure fridge is full, turkey is set, wine rack full, chocolate yule log too. Presents wrapped tree is up, everywhere looks so christmasy and full.
How lucky people that get to do the above, how I've dreamed of the above, but no change has come, still sat in same room glum. I have my cats who I love dear but would love that special person deep in my heart to be here, sharing this magical day. But then I'm lucky as I have more than some I can say.
So think of them who are alone, or cold on streets, with no hot dinner or treats. Be thankful for what you already have. As some have nothing at all.
Merry Christmas xxx
I don't ask for material things, nor nothing that can be bought.
I ask for simple things, where life has forgot me.
I ask for happiness, to smile laugh and cheer.
I ask for health, and get rid of my illnesses and fears.
But most of all, it's a big ask but please can you send me the one I truly love.
He loves me too, but scared to admit it.
But all of the above will happen, if you send me my true love through.
Thanks santa xxx
Snow is falling, hands are cold.
For I don't have that special someone to hold,
I wish did someone to snuggle, cuddle hug and kiss.
Someone to share my secrets with.
Maybe I've been good enough, for santa to bring, that special someone who is in my heart to me.
It's getting closer to that day of the year, where all is put aside to join in the table cheer.
Don't forget when your doing so, that people are hungry and cold.
Be grateful for all that you received, that day.
For others are hoping there's no snow or rain blowing there where way.
Enjoy, embrace, be thankful and sweet.
For all that we have we treat preciously with great grace and peace.
Getting to that time, to lay my head,
Climb the wooden hill. Climb in to bed.
Lay me down and think of that special someone.
as I start to drift, and send my soul his way.
I turn over as if he here in my bed, cuddle up hard to my Ted.
Making sure my soul has traveled, to be with the one I truely am in love with.
Jamie browne my number one he is!
Nearly there, a full moon coming.
Cold nights, open fires blasting.
Hand wrapped around hot mugs of tea,
Planning on where the Sunday roast will be.
Best get my coat walk to the shops, wrap up warm for the icy night comes.
Get home quick sharp, bones ache now.
Time to curl up with my cats and mug of tea, to await what tomorrow will bring. X
Dear santa, I've been good this year, maybe a couple of things I could of changed, but I don't ask for material things, just this one thing instead.
I ask for the person I love, who captured my heart and never gave it up. He is so special he is real, I know he loves me, I just want his heart to be mine.
If at all possible Santa,
for this to happen, to have him stand with me together happy in love forever, with a little family together, would be the best present ever.
I don't want big cars flash houses, just the heart of that special someone, we'd bring so much happiness for one another. I hope I've been good enough to have this, if not I'll try harder next year cos he is worth it, he is my ...
Tear drops don't come to me easy, in my eyes I feel I am weak.
For I suck it up and hold it bad, not the best idea I've had.
But it's been a Patten for me in life, as I was taught how to be hard faced yep that's right.
When it rains it's beautiful to me as no one no's that when I go walking in the rain,
If people looked close they will see I'm letting my weakness go.
We all get the chance for love, but when do we know it will hit our hearts.
I found that one so kind and true, but God made him an angel, before my love could come true.
I then was blessed, with someone with love like twinkling stars, eyes as clear as the sea, so deep and mesmerizing. I sight never ever had I seen.
I found my second chance round my soul mate I'm blessed.
But I was afraid to say how I felt, to feel crushed and rejected not nice to have felt.
I had to leave him I'm so far away, but some how mother universe has kept us in touch.
What does this mean for all these years is he the special someone we all want at Christmas for keeps.
Written for a special someone always been locke...
Tick tock, tick tock, is all I hear from that clock.
Letting time pass by that so precious, and never replaced.
So far I feel from making my dream for real,
Keep positive is all I hear, but how can I with all that I fear.
There is so much I want to achieve and believe I'm as stubborn as can be.
I'm hoping that's a good trade to have.
You may feel lost but that stubborn trade will keep you battling through that stage.
Never stop dreaming as they will happen. For if I can still be alive with all my problems,
I'm sure we can all achieve what is the possible for all of us can't you see.
It was this time last night,
I was swinging on some swings in the playground, with the Stars as my light.
When I was swinging so high and fast,
I looked to the right of me up in the sky above.
To see an amazing site never experienced before,
It was a fallen angel I saw,
Started red, changed colour half way,
Bright green to finish with the fizzle of fire orange, gone it's dead.
Yes it was a meteor, as scienctist see.
But I see it as a fallen angel once had wings.
This sight I saw is truth it was amazing, mother universe, goddess herself put on an amazing star show last night and the moon tonight was an amazing site for soar eyes. A memory imprinted never to be forgotten.
The night is coming to a close, end of another day.
For thoughts of all that gripped me, still haunts me at night.
Pill by pill drink by drink, just to get at least some sleep.
Dreams don't exist no more. It just one big nightmare for sure.
I close my eyes, just I don't feel asleep,
Is this the deapth of my reality for keeps?
True words English Harley
Life throws curve balls,
Mine has used bulldozers.
It swung hard and hit,
Hit me off the planet.
Finally my feet have reach the ground,
Feeling a little safer and sound.
For I haven't felt part of the world, for the past decade gone.
But now I see the shinning bright,
Mother universe has sprung.
It's bright at first if you don't except.
But I've been waiting a life time for the chance I'm now ganna get.
Monday, the beginning of the week.
To start fresh, put behind the bad from the last week gone.
Live for the future,be glad you alive.
For others have it much worse,
You will be surprised.
I had a battle,3 years of fights.
I got the truth heard at last I'm free.
Praise the God and goddess,
They have given me the fresh start,I've been wanting.
Time to grasp life with both hand,
Smile,laugh and be high on one thing we all get.
Life there is only one chance......
There was a special person in my life,
No sorry I have that wrong I do have a special person in my life well he is to me.
We have known each other more than we can agree, the sad thing is,
There's feelings involved. I thought they were from both.
I was wrong it's shattered my heart, as now I'm fading,
Fading away from his heart. I'm stuck on what to do, this thought is true. I'm slowly fading into the blue.
I'm scared, confused, broken and used.
But I never thought he would ever make me feel like I'm fading, fading for good.
My mystery, that's been the best part of my life,
I found my one true love! Does he feel the same?
I met him gazed in his eyes, I'll always remember that first ever smile.
When I think of you my heart stops for a while,
I feel like I'm floating on a cloud.
beside your self.
I'm laying next to you, my head on your chest.
Hearing the rhythm of your heartbeat syncing in with mine.
For that special moment we are just one, I never want to let go of this feeling of mine, us as one.
My mystery love has been lush all these years.
But since I see him again for real,
It's brought up all them feelings of mine.
Heart racing, butterflies, fear of rejection.
All I want to know is does he feel the same. ...
My puddin, my puddin.
I've lost you again, never knew a man could understand, my depths of darkness and insanity.
It came with falling for me, treat me as though no one else existed.
Amazing feeling of wanted Ness and love.
I knew I'd found my misfit other half.
We laughed, cried smiled and went wild.
Untouchable we become as if we was just one.
Amazing feeling never have I ever felt.
Till I woke up and found I'm still here in this crazy fucked up world.