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Entropy Man

PO# 630336
United States
United States
I Am
January 1, 2014
 

when trapped between
remorseless planes
of light and dark grey
.
infinite and irrational
all containing
all compressing
.
weave the middle path
between lines of
utter white
and utter black
.
fear no shade
radiate color

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DRIVE PEOPLE CRAZY
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January 1, 2015
 

I have to wonder
what color my voice would be
if a synesthetic person
were to see me sing

what kind of spectrum
lives inside of me
what rainbows I might form
when I'm precipitating

is it too dramatic
to think I could be prismatic
with eyes monochromatic
so fixed, so static

yet I do believe
in spite of everything
that seemed to turn
my world to grey

that when I tear aside
these blackout curtains
to let the light pour through
I'll find within me
every color, every hue

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RAINBOW
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January 1, 2014
 

there's some oil in this water
a coiling rainbow skein
but silly silly, it's just like me
to mistake blood for kerosene
.
I'd just like to make myself believe
something pyrophoric's inside me
something a bit less blood-blue
some fuse with which to reeve
.
the twists and turns and holes in me
something volatile and incendiary
some spark inside to take me higher
to prove that inside me lives a fire

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SPARKLING STAR
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January 1, 2015
 

Is this Kings Cross station?
Because I'm the tiniest part
of a drawn and quartered heart
bawling amidst devastation.
.
And there's these pieces of me-
Horcruxes that won't let me die
even though I know, I'm not alive-
hidden in each corner of the country.
.
Please, I need to be disarmed;
I'm wreaking havoc everywhere
from Hogwarts to Trafalgar Square
and so many people have been harmed.
.
I think I'm on my last resort.
I'm losing life with every breath
but still convinced I can master death,
living like Lord Voldemort.
.
Lead me down to the slaughter.
Send this curse back to its source, and maybe I'll find some remorse,
so please won't you be my Harry Potter?

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NEVERENDING HALLWAY
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January 1, 2014
 

it's not about the song
it's about the singing

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NEVER ENDING
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January 1, 2015
 

I think often of
smooth skin and
cascades of silk hair
.
landscapes of lust
forbidden
inviting
.
lies of love
unwhispered
.
longing lips left
unkissed
.
uncaressed
tan lines
and barely visible
belly hair
and wish
.
I had spent:

less love
on myself
singing praises to god
to win glory for me
.
less prayer meetings
for self-serving
.
less early mornings
musing
.
less passion
on hate
.
less time thinking
.
less private poems
.
more love songs
sung aloud
unashamed
unfettered
.
more long nights
dancing
.
I wish I were
a kiss
on the wind
touching all
brushing lightly and
flowing on
.
I wish
I wish
I were a kiss

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MY TIME
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January 1, 2014
 

Today is the only Today
Today is the only Day
.
cast away the objects of fear
of self-doubt
of self-recrimination
.
no more secrets
silly secrets
don't be such a fool
all is known
nothing is new
nothing is hidden
they know
with hearts like yours
.
remember how you Loved?
always Love like that
Love everyone like that
without exception
.
Remember how you Laughed?
always Laugh like that
loud, for all to hear
without hesitation
.
Remember how you Looked?
always Look like that
eyes wide with tired wonder
without expectation
.
everyone is dying of something
live like you have cancer
.
Today is the only Today
Today is the only Day

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ENDLESS STARS
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January 1, 2015
 

How long will you weep
the tears of yesterday
as you rehearse the words
that you will never say?

So go ahead and sulk;
throw your time away.
You "don't believe in god,"
but all you ever do is pray

that color will seep through
the cracks - cover all the grey,
that life will come and offer
all your dreams up on a tray.

When it's time for you to fight
you always up and run away.
When it's time to move along
you dig in, and you stay.

It doesn't matter what excuse
you use to lead yourself astray
or that, above all else,
it's yourself that you betray.

Listen, you want structure?
Fine. Shut up and obey.
Do anything. Be anyone.
Do it now! You only have today.

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EXPLOSION
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January 1, 2014
 

Have you ever had one of those days where you hope, and you pray that today will be the day that the pain goes away
...
but it doesn't?
                    -
One of those days when you think one touch will make you shatter, or one stray shaft of light will impale your brain matter, or the whole sky might fall at your feet with a clatter
...
but it doesn't?
                    -
So you set the cycle in motion, first aspirin and then ibuprofen to help your face disguise the fact that you're broken
...
but it doesn't.
                    -
So you stretch a smile over your pain because you think it might help you stay sane, and you think it will only add to the strain
...
but it doesn't.
    ...

RESILIENT
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January 1, 2012
 

A true thing, be it the very
humblest, is more powerful
than the grandest illusion.

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FROG
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January 1, 2015
 

there is a Strength
that looks like weakness
there is a Joy
that looks like sorrow
there is a Will
that looks like yielding

there is a poverty
that looks like Wealth
there is a loneliness
that looks like Connection
there is a fear
that looks like Confidence

We call a tree by its leaves
yet it survives by its roots

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REFRESHING FRUIT
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January 1, 2012
 

"you are an island"
the buddha dies alone
but is not lonesome
for only a self longs for a friend
.
"you are an island"
even within the most intimate bonds
the soul roams free and unattached
walking doubt and sorrow alone
.
"you are an island"
who to look to for truth
from whom to glean wisdom
you must look within
.
"you are an island"
look to the center
plumb the deep places
trust nothing, question everything
.
"you are an island"
do  not be afraid
be bold and very courageous
you are alone
.
"you are an island"
but an island only appears
to be detached from land
all things intertwine at the roots

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GREENPEACE DAY
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January 1, 2013
 

"Life," they say,
"is what happens
while you're busy
reciting cliches."

There will be
just so many ticks
and corresponding tocks,
so many bassy,
thudding heartbeats,
so many tidal ebbs and flows
of vital, living breath

before the tyranny of clocks
chimes the final hour
in a clamor of bells
tolling their sorrowful,
inexorable knell.

And there are times I hear them
loud and near at hand
and then, in terror, Act.
It's like slogging it
through quicksand...
my muscles ache and burn.
My body strains against itself,
that entropic fiend,
but then, at last, gives in.

Starting isn't easy,
but then momentum takes,
inertia finds its hold,
and before I know it
I'm reaching for the breaks.

But no - l...

YOUR DREAM, YOUR STORY
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January 1, 2013
 

There are ... instants,
yes, instances of ... what?
...of suddenly, of subtley
slipping into something
distinctly unlike waiting,
and I can't keep from
wondering...
And that's just it -
I'm wonder-ing...
breathless, lost in awe
at a sudden glimpse of sunset
framed between tall buildings
as I huddle in my car,
or at the sound of
Stoya laughing
as I'm clicking my way
towards something
I surely won't find on a screen,
or when a cat named Fred
makes my keyboard his bed,
or when birdsong
breaks through above the sound
of video game ambient effects,
when artificiality
gets pierced
by some reality demanding
to be heard.
These are the moments
that leave me
spinning, at a loss for words.
And even, ye...

FIREWORKS
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January 1, 2013
 

I wait sometimes.
Yes, sometimes I wait.
Sometimes I'm stuck
in in-betweens,
in middle places,
waiting spaces,
little purgatories
where all around are graves...
this one here
marked "Tuesday,"
that one there
marked "Teens."
Oh, look at this sweet eulogy:
"Herein lies a
cool Spring weekend
that lost itself between
discs five and six
of One Tree Hill
(the third season).
It wasn't found until Wednesday,
crushed between couch cushions,
crusted in cat hair
and stale popcorn.
By then, of course,
it was much too late.
Dear, sweet thing.
It will be missed."
See the one cryptically
marked "Months"
with the little postscript
which reads,
"Seriously, how many times does one need to re-read all...

ORIGINS
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January 1, 2013
 

when i am running
i am not running away
i am not running towards
i am just running
.
footfalls
heartbeats
wind
these remind me
it's all just atoms interacting
.
so hush with your questions
your theories
your answers
your why to run
your when, your how
.
i am just running
i am just atoms interacting
.
hush
let me enjoy their dance

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OH MY GOD
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January 1, 2010
 

awaken into me,
o awakener;
awaken me into rest.

in transcending me
teach me to transcend
desire for you.

teach this knower doubt,
doubter of self,
faithfully unbelieving.

unbound, unbind me.
unmade, unmake me.
un-needy, dissatisfy me;

thirsty and unquenched,
yet undesiring.
in uncertainty, stability-

to un-be as you are not
is life eternal
spanning an eyeblink.

unfastening me
i, untethered, float
into the void of your being.

made nothing, all.
unknowing, wise.
unbeing, alive.

in inverting, reverted;
having been reflection,
now the object embodied.

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TOTAL ECLIPSE 2017
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January 1, 2010
 

nascent
.
first
breath
comes
in gasps
.
blurry light
coalescing
shapes defy reckoning
.
pain
is
all
and trauma
.
separation
.
from what?
.
from nothing
from unbeing
.
becoming
is unbecoming
.
birth
unbearable
.
separation
is illusion
.
eyes deceived
heart forgetting
.
be unseeing
unfeeling
connected to all
.
unborn

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MOVING
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January 1, 2011
 

I am a door.

You can open me up and step through me
to get at what lies beyond,
slam me shut in anger,
lock me against the fear of intruders,
collapse against me at the end of the very worst day,
creak me open to peek outside,
or wrench me aside to embark into the wide world beyond.

Go ahead.
I will be here
swinging back and forth
but going nowhere.

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EARTH
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January 1, 2011
 

invite me in
to the soft warmth
the heedless
the boundless
the cadenced beating of...
.
invite me in
to the open mouth
the crinkle of eyes
the quirked lips
and the immeasurable joys of...
.
invite me in
to the forgive and forgetting
the joyous laboring
happy heart-aching
swirling center of...
.
invite me in
to the long since forgotten
the once glimpsed but lost
the hoped for but absent
bounded and hedged in garden of...

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MYSTERIOUS PASSION
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January 1, 2012
 

spinny spinny
dancey dancey

the World doesn’t spin the Dervish
the Dervish spins the World

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LIFE
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December 25, 2015
Marshall, United States

Let a tree be a tree
with branches thrust out,
its trunk tall and straight,
its leaves like a crown.

Let a tree smell of tree,
let it grow in the ground
with no plastic strings
weighing it down.

I will nurse one within,
keep it green near my hearth
until Winter passes
and the cold snow departs.

As my tree grows brittle,
outside, sure and strong,
new leaves will burst forth
and dance to Spring's song.

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FOREST CONSERVATION
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January 1, 2015
 

The wider my eyes get
The smaller my mouth gets

The more I see
The less words seem to matter

Whatever it is my eyes wish to say
I am helpless to convey

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NIGHTMARES
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January 1, 2014
 

thin slice of ether cut out of the shadows

two sapphires catching moonlight

crisp scent of honeysuckle

velvet-soft damp soil

crickets playing their sonatas

dancing in the drizzle

droplets glinting in your hair

sangria on your tongue

a lover cut out of the fabric of the night

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MOVEMENT
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January 1, 2014
 

sweet soft sky
purple black and blue
who bruised you
.
naked sky
who robbed you of your jewelry
so that there are no stars to see
.
i don't know if
this is wrong to say
or too dramatic
but if you won't get out of being battered
at least you're lovely at it
.
but dear sky
i would weave you a crown of heather
to wear above a wedding dress of cloudy weather
.
dark night sky
please don't mind me staring
you're crazy if you think these dark parts of you could stop me caring

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STARS
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January 1, 2013
 

.
.
.
.
.
when the pain comes
i will not flee away from it;
i will put myself in its path
and allow it to propel me
towards my goals.
.
.
.
.
.

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HURT
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January 1, 2014
 

I am drowning in time.
Days crash down like breakers
and drive me under
to strain against rip tides
as unfelt currents carry me
ever farther from familiar shores.

Many waves will surge up, thunder down, and crackle back into an immensity of Sea.
A child playing teasing and shrill games of tag with these unkind waters will ask why they're so salty. Mostly it's from minerals carried by run-off or injected by thermal vents. Partially it's from swallowing me and everyone else. More succinctly, child, you'll understand when you're older. Then you'll die.

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ACADIA
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January 1, 2015
Marshall, United States

a page of writing is like
a double two-way mirror:
my audience can see what i wrote
but cannot see me
i can see myself
but not what i wrote

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DREAM PUZZLE
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January 1, 2014
 

All my life is behind curtains.
No one gets to step inside
the Hallows of my Temple,
though many yet have tried.
.
My heart is behind curtains,
untouchable, remote.
My heart is a Buddhist monk
repeating oms by rote.
.
My face is behind curtains,
veiled and hard to see.
People gaze upon my visage
but are not seeing me.
.
My rest is behind curtains
where I fall asleep alone,
and yet sleeping find no peace
and resting find no home.
.
All my faith is behind curtains,
so subtle, so abstract,
in a different space than my soul,
without the power to act.
.
Will you tear aside my curtains,
and will you pierce my veils?
Will you part the sheets, and come inside,
and enter my travails?
.
Wi...

RECOLLECTION
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January 1, 2013
 

Doors easily opened shut reluctantly.

Straight, narrow paths turn unexpectedly.

Journeys continue...

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CELEBRATING TOGETHER
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