I could say sorry
and walk away
But everything is so beautiful
To walk away from
I could take the blame
and let go
But you hold me tight
It is impossible
To let go
I could wait
and act alright
But you know me so well
Even my smile
cannot fool you
I could breathe
Pour all the burden on you
But the guilt is too much
That pain i cannot
put you through
What is worse
Seeing you sad
or staying away
What is right
Stealing you for myself
or giving you up
What is good for you
a lifetime of us
or faded memories ?
Do you know the torture of memories of lost love?
I get lost in them sometimes and then I realise I am mad at whole world. Words hurt you know.
But then I always pick myself up and just walk away from those memories. It’s better this way.
In the quiet chill of the night,
is the soothing crackle of a burning cigarette.
A soft tune playing in the background,
pulls at your attention,
then the breeze hisses by your ear and you draw your attention back to the cigarette smoke,
realising that it was just your mind playing games with you.
That there was no music but just an old faint memory of one and yet again, you lost yourself to it, and left another cigarette burning without a puff inhaled.
Love blew like a soft breeze
Mesmerised by it’s sweetness
I stood by the window
Tying strings of memories.
Living with you is a blessing
Not a moment has passed
Without tasting slice of heaven
I melt into time.
You are a fruit of a penance
Blessing in guise
Under falling raindrops
I build our cocoon.
As the drops pelt against the glass
I am forced to reality
I look for you
Amidst the starry sky
The moving cars and soaring clouds.
Slowly i wither
A flower in need of sunlight
Longing to belong
I see through you like a glass
A transparency i can never touch.
It’s been a year since you left your mark for a final farewell on my heart. The searing and scarring of my soul. I’m not sure how I feel but I know I’ve thought about the things you left behind way more than I should’ve allowed since your passing over into the spiritual afterlife.
Often times, the pain would cripple me leaving me to wallow in the depths of despair and angst with little hope of ever returning to the person I once was before your last but most damaging jab.
The stabbing of my mind, the holes you left gaping open leaving me to question my self worth, marring my self confidence, questioning my existence.
I’m coming out of the hurt with a freedom of forever nev...
Time has gone past and I’m the same you see
There’s no history of the past consuming or leaving me
Things deep inside have stayed locked up for good
There’s no wondering as it should
I keep people at arms length and shoulder high
All fuzzy and warm feelings are to deny
Those places you know to be your home are my empty shells
The only things in my head screams and yells
They tells me to protect, reject the things that cause harm
They will not allow me to get Whipped, Beaten or lashed
No harm will come to me now or the things that have passed
As you see me walk pass with a darkened shade
It’s because of the others that are attached as to how I was made
Creep in my mind if you please
They all ...
I'm grateful I have the memories of my mom cooking for me a simple and delicious green fried rice. 😌
"All hell breaks loose when someone belongs to your memory more than you belong to your own self."
- Chandresh Parmar
It is one of those days.
Headaches, bad moments, the worst thinking, and memories.
How often does it happen to you?
I wish I could just close my eyes already and finish this day. But still have things pending.
I wish I had the help I was promised, but... You know... You can’t force people to keep their word.
Reader, do things on your own.
Success and Love
We are not together but still
You follow me like a shadow.
Sometimes, you stays in my thoughts
And sometimes, you hide in my dreams .
You still take up space in my head. Wish I could kick you out but my mind seems to disagree with what my brain keeps screaming. Maybe we could reach a compromise and settle on you not calling out for my attention at random times during the day or keep me up at night. A compromise where we only communicate when it’s mutual. Because otherwise what are we doing here?
I thought the pain will reduce gradually as the time pass, but why it just hurts the same.
Happy birthday bro !!
I can only be glad that this day happened and get to spend sometime with you . I love you so much and miss you a lot . If only destiny had not been so cruel 😔
You know the strange thing : earlier in my dreams, i saw you like a small kid the way you left us . We use to fight , play and study together.
And now these days in my dreams, I see you as big boy . If only you were around, you would have been 26 years old today. But alas dream is no where close to reality .
Anyway thanks for being in my life, thanks for making me understand to always prioritise relationship over anythin...
My mother often spoke of a gentleman in tales, she would tell me this little story of a young man. He would forever walk with a silk-like, black stick by his side; medically it was unnecessary, more like a prop. With his stick in hand and waistcoat on, the gentleman would strut around the crowded town. Back then, the town felt as big as a city. You could often feel out of place there. One miss step and you’d trip on the cobbles. And the people, there was always so many people; the town never seemed to sleep.
The gentleman, although he acted as a righteous man, he was kind. Almost too
kind. Mother said “A man in love will always be a kind man… Until the day he is wronged.” I think I now under...
A Song That Carries You To The Avoided Path.
This is something, I suppose, every person might have felt. The feeling could be both bitter or sweet. There's always a song or many songs that speak to your soul.
I got married on 5th of last month, to the person I was with for the last thirteen years, who fought for me endlessly. What more could I have asked for, or for that matter any other young lady could have asked for?
May be, a beautiful wedding, where everyone has a smiling face.
May be, a wedding, where everyone is dancing and drinking and admiring the struggle that we have been through.
May be, a wedding, where I can call up my dear ones to join me on this special occasion and just...
Not all people are meant to be in your life. They might be the only good thing in your life at the moment but that doesn’t mean they aren’t toxic. And sometimes you just endure the pain because if could just push through, maybe you can keep them in your life- doesn’t matter in what capacity but at least they are there. So who is the real toxin here- them or you?
जो एहसास जगे
तो चले आना
जो लगे डर फिर
खोने का मुझे
तो चले आना ।।
जो दर्द हो गर
किसी बात से
उस दर्द को मुझ
तक हो पहुचांना
तो चले आना ।।
जो मंज़िल हो सामने
मगर फिर भी
राह भटक जाओ
तो चले आना ।।
जो दिल्लगी के दौर में
बिखर जाओ किसी मोड़ पर,
दिल तोड़कर मिले सुकूँ
तो चले आना ।।
जो कहनी हो तमाम बातें
वो कुछ अपनी तो
कुछ अपनो की,
मगर जो, ना सुने तुम्हे कोई
तो चले आना ।।
लफ्ज़ो में जो
ना समझ सके तुम्हे कोई,
अपनी ख़ामोशी को गर
हो सुनना तुम्हे,
तो चले आना ।।
ग़ज़लों में जिसका कभी
हर शब करते थे ज़िकर
वो छोड़ जाए तन्हा
तो चले आना ।।
जो पल कुछ पुराने
याद आ जाए तुम्हे,
भूले बिसरे से एहसास
इक पल को भी
मुस्कुरा दे तुम्हे,
बेधड़क हो दिल
की धड़क में रखना हो मुझे
तो चले आना
हाँ चले आना तुम ।।।
Silly thing, memories
tip-toes to us, when we barely need it.
Like the midday sun
someday it smolders our souls
and on cold winter nights
like a blanket keeps us warm.
Funny thing, memories
We forget the things we should remember
and remember the things we should forget
like a haven for immigrants
makes us a divergent
Demiurge being, memories
we run all day to collect it like it is everything
and then it gives back to life the moments that no longer exist
Mystical being, memories
shakes our existences with Deja vu
taps our souls in the form of dreams
Skillful raconteur, memories
tells us the same story again and again
changing slight small details
which we miss, mak...
Rock, Salt, Paper, Scissor was not
what i kept in my treasure.
Carrom queen and those Ludo fights,
Counting planes which was hiding in stars
that too when, we sleepover on roof every night.
Still remember the way we hide Chacha, Pinki, Nagraj, Doga,
sometimes under the mattress, sometimes behind the sofa .
Mario, Contra ,popeye we played, after winning, we celebrate.
Those 5 bucks as pocket money, Chasing Kites, oh i forgot my soft toy bunny .
More then Paperboats,I swam in the rain
Running in whole house with a sound of train
Endless childhood memories i treasure.
felt bad coz nothing lasts forever .
Gosh. I need to write on her. Its like this page is my relief I can always find comfort. Its like the feeling of going home. Home. Security. Safety. I miss home. Writing makes me feel like I am at home. That I am safe to release myself into these pages. Nobody knows me like this pen and pad do.
I got so much i want to say. To catch upon on....to discuss. But right now isnt the time for i am on my way to have a busy day with things to do. I am not dressing up for Halloween. Well for this party later tonight I will but it's relating to naughty things. Haha.
Oh I can tell you i went to universal studios fright night for the first time with my man and it was a blast. I got ...