THERE ARE NO FISH LEFT IN THE SEA
i'm hitting the single life the way one should...one night stands here and there but i've realized that the only reason they are one night stands is because the majority of these women are just looking for that lesbian fling they forgot to take advantage of in college. so i'm doing my duties as a very honored member of the lesbian/queer community. the sad thing is as much as i should be enjoying it...i'm not. i leave without even saying the lame one linter "i'll call you" because they don't want to hear that and i sure as hell don't want to say it. don't get me wrong, all woman have a certain appeal, but i don't know them lo...
Argument with girlfriend is like
Terms and conditions of the softwares
You should always accept it
Keep Up the UNAGI even if the life become Pivot.! PIVOT.! PIVOT..!
He holds a ring to propose her
She is so happy and accepted his proposal
He holds a ring to propose her
She is checking the ring is fake or original
“Fun fact”, she exclaims! “Atoms are 99.9 % empty”, and I gasp with a great sign of relief knowing the reason behind the great void I felt inside for so long.
Beauty Pageant - Final Q and A
The SETTING: Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion.
QUESTION: Miss America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
Miss AMERICA: Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
Miss AMERICA: Because it stands every-time it sees a woman.....
QUESTION: Misss Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
Miss SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
Miss SPAIN: Because it charges every-time it sees an op...
April fool me:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have bacon... fooled you!
William Henry Mills Jr
You ever had a dream that you were staring down at your own body lying in bed? I have and it's super creepy. How about when you have one of those falling dreams? Now that's scary 😨. But the scariest dream I've had was when I arrived late to class and I was totally naked. Yep no clothes on. And everyone was laughing at me. And they were pointing. I mean I know I don't have the best looking body but damn 😭. I've seen horribly shaped people and I'm not one of them. Thank goodness. I'm thick and I have a bit of a gut, but that's a work in progress. I'm just too lazy to excercise. Lol. My definition of excercise is walking to and from my car and walking to the mailbox. I love myself and so I have ...
real miscalculation 😂
yesterday i told someone that i lived almost half of my life.
and today i am dead. 😂
You know what i mean?
She banking zeros
She a QUEEN.
Last Night incident
Yesterday in the morning my best friend Nitin calling me. Actual me Usne apni bike service pr de rkhi thi to wo meri Activa lene ke liye mere Office aaya.. or le kr chala gya after 2-3 hour he calling me and said abe saale kya hai ye teri activa.
Mene pucha kyu kya hua bola saale 3Punchar niklwa chuka hu abhi tk esme se or 3KM tk ni aaya or waps se punchar ho gyi teri activa.. mene kaha bhai dekh le kahi pr hoga koi machanic or us se thk karwa le. chlo yaha tk bhi sb thk tha usne Total 5Punchar niklwaye jabki mene kal hi new tube change krwayi thi any way.. 7.30pm approx he came and again started mene kaha chod jo hua so hua.. or hum d...
100 Year Old Sex Maniac
An old man turned 100 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local paper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages playing together. A very pretty girl of about 19 served the old man and the reporter, keeping them in fresh tea and running errands for them.
"Are these yor grand kids?" the reporter asked.
"Naw, sir, they all be my younguns," the old man replied with a sly grin.
"Your kids?" said the reporter. "What about this beautiful young lady who keeps bringing us tea? Is she one of your children too?"
"Naw, sir," said the old man. "She be my wife."
"Your wife?" said the surprised reporter. "But she can't...
The nurse approached him, smiling. "The labor is going great," she said. "Wouldn't you like to come in?"
"Oh, no," the man shook his head.
The nurse returned to the mother's side, and the labor progressed smoothly.
As the birth neared, the nurse returned to the man, now pacing frantically in the hall.
"She's doing so well," she assured him. "Wouldn't you like to at least come in and see her?"
The man seemed to hesitate slightly, then shook his head again, "No, no, I couldn't do that."
He jingled car keys in his sweaty palm and resumed his pacing.
The nurse went back into the room and coached Mom's valiant efforts in pushing the baby into the world.
As the baby's he...
You women have all the 365 days to yourself because of the kind of cruelty you do to us men on a regular basis. Why should we owe one day to women and celebrate their existence?
No Longer Possible
An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a hooker standing at her door. She says to him, "Hey Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"
He says, "No thank you. That is no longer possible for me."
It was a slow night, so the hooker says, "Oh, come on, what have we got to lose; let's give it a try."
So, they both go inside and he acts like the young man he used to be.
"Oh my goodness," says the hooker breathlessly afterward, "I thought you said sex was no longer possible for you."
Says the old man, "Oh, my body is still highly capable; it's the paying that is no longer possible."
It's funny how we are all going through the motions and all trudging our way through this enigma called life.
Although we are all on the same journey, no one's story is the same.
It seems difficult to contemplate the fact that everyone around you has a life as complex as yours.
They feel the way you feel.
They laugh the way you do.
They experience loss the way you do.
They are loved ones to others and have people they love.
And one day, the journey ends for them- the same way it ends for you.
My country is freedom in chains.
Poisoned food to rot our brains.
We have an orange for a president.
The only place I wish to be a resident.
When u marry a woman,U take her away from her parents.
They had paid for her Education(which isn't cheap)until she iz successful,educated,visionary,the women u choose to mary and
" all u can care about is
If she can cook ? "