iPhone 8X has facial recognition . It looked at my face and told me I couldn't afford it.
As got up little late
Fish fry's smell filled water in mouth
What's first eat or brush?
Quote of the week
Hello! Look at the ants, they are too busy to fill their stores,they don't have commanders or overseers. All are working equally. We funnies are simply standing. Let's do something which would fetch sandwich at least "
Midnight hunger prangs while at studies..
Wish someone got it for me 😐😕
The Jardinero Black Bean Burger
By The Gaucho & The Gringa
You topped off my summer with fresh, locally grown veggies
Your sweet Hawaiian buns fried in buttery goodness left me heady
Black beans mashed into a patty seasoned to perfection and cooked to crunch
I don't think I've loved every component of a burger so much
You were Made with love from one beautiful soul to another
Goodnight! My summer time lover!
My plate will ever be empty
But my belly full
My little friend is undoubtedly my stress buster😂❤
Zaid: Hi sis. What are you upto?
Me: Hey.. come later, man. I'm busy. I haven't finished my project yet.
Zaid: You told me the same in the morning. Why do you work so much? Don't exert yourself.
Me: Awww. That's so sweet of you. Now you see, don't try to butter me. I have no time to play with you. Please don't come. Play with your mommy.
Zaid: Please.. lemme come. I want to talk to you. Only for five minutes.. please.
Me: Hmm.. come. Only for five minutes. Got it?
( He walks downstairs like a little teddy bear with his chubby cheeks)
Zaid: You seem to be tired. Shall I tell you something?
Me: Hmm. What is it?
Zaid: I can't see you s...
I remember like it was just 5 minutes ago that I verbally designed him with the assistance of the Subway employee.
The honey wheat bread was toasted just perfect. Highly satisfied at the perfect balance of crispy and chewy. The turkey always helped take the guilt off from eating like sh** earlier. Oh, the avocado - perfectly ripened and satiated the need for my omega-3s. The juicy tomatoes perfectly contrasted with his crispy lettuce. Sweetened with honey mustard and a kick of the onion dressing. Alas, let's not remember him for what he lacked in cheese (due to my lactose intolerance) but remember him for the red onions he did have that made him stand out on a day when we needed to remember ...
Eating you will be my greatest crime
You're the reason why scrumptious salads don't tempt me
I wanna be sandwiched between your layers of cheese and vegetables
Dear sandwich, I'm sure ,I'm gonna regret after eating you.
You're so mouth watering
I won't share you with nobody else.
Sometimes i think what is wrong with me..
Then i remember
I m a SAGITTARIUS ♐ 😒
Do it for me
Drink that bottle dry
Snort until your numb..
Please for me..
Drink a bottle, down some more,
Maybe there will be sirens at the door?
Go on you've been so close..But that brittle spine couldn't hold out..
Don't be a coward all your life..
In marriage & life!
Ruined and messed up not just your sad,sad life but
Took and mistreated a wife..
Kids second best
And wow look at your life?
The lies of what you wish to be
Please please coward do it for me 😉
Sandwich thou art mighty
Thou art my stomach's deity
Thou satisfieth my hunger
Thou pacifieth my anger
Thou art very yummy
Thou enlargeth my tummy
Thou art my stomach's king
To you will I always cling.
Modern day Havisham but more tragic..
There's no competition, I was always first place, he's written of the magic..
Kneel down, obviously all you can offer..
Letting him live in your ass won't make him Love you..
Desperate to be picked..When you know already you ain't in the race..
Sharing a bed, anyone can do 😂 because you belive it doesn't mean it's true..
Bless you poor old thing trying to be me..
With your hair and your face
Good luck sweety 😂
Not many people in life are as bitter as you
So scoff down some pudding
That'll make him love you 😂😂😂😂
People are funny sometimes, they're like: i love your work, but you are so abusive, pompous, and sharp-tongued.
Well, why in the God's name you're Motivating me and Demotivating me at the same time, its like: hey! I will cheer you up, but I'm also a cynic, so I'll fuck you in the stink at the same time.
Uncle: What's on your mind? You're in deep thoughts.
Me: Nothing much. I was thinking of Charlie Chaplin. I wish he was alive.
Uncle: Why? What made you think of him?
Me: You told me the other day that he never laughed all his life but made the world laugh.
Uncle: Yeah! But why do you miss him now?
Me: I cannot make anyone laugh and I wish someone made me laugh always. So.. if he was alive, I think we would make good friends.
Uncle: Lol he would have died much earlier than he did if he were your friend. Poor chap would have forgotten how to make others laugh if he were with you.
Me: Are you insulting me? Are you?
Uncle: Nah! Never! I'm praising you. Look at your face. You struggle to ...