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July 19, 2019
 

Reason Not to Eat Shrimps

Years ago, a man was riding the train from New Orleans, eating a bag of fresh shrimp, ripping them apart, and throwing the shells out the window.

The woman sitting opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch."

He replied, "It's none of your business, hon. I paid my fare and I'll do what I want."

And he continued until he finished the bag. Full, he settled back for a nap. The woman pulled out her knitting. Soon all the man could hear was that incessant clicking and clacking.

Soon he said, "Would you stop that noise? I'm trying to sleep!"

She replied, "It's none of your business. I paid my fare and I'll do what I want."

The man gr...

200TH SKYLARK CHALLENGE
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July 18, 2019
 

♑CAPRICORNIO (22 Dic. - 19 Ene.)

Como ayer, pero un poco peor...

N° de la suerte: ∞

Animal de la suerte: Grifa (hembra del grifo, pastrulo mal pensado)

Frase del día: "Tarde o temprano te iba a dejar, ya lo sabías".

(Horóscopo de mierda)

CACKLE
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July 14, 2019
London, United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling so weirdly proud that people do gaze at me intently when I strike a conversation.

And then I realized that it wasn’t my eyes or red-stained lips. Or even my smile or my eye contact.

All along, it was my pimple’s doing! My dear extra appendage was about to erupt!

I am now torn if I should pop it or not, now that I am enjoying the attention.

Kidding. I hate the attention. Good bye pimple.

Not gonna miss you at all,

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MADE WITH LOVE
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June 22, 2019
 

"The puzzled thieves 😉"

All 6 of them sat around the table when they heard someone banging loudly, on the front door. For a second everyone froze. Could it be?....", if its the police, there life is gone.
The situation had began four hours before. It was when two among the known thieves decided to rob a diamond merchant in the city. They broke into the shop and took all the diamonds they could find within a short span of time. Everything was clean and perfect and no evidence was left to trace.
However, the trouble began later on. Thry had taken 301 diamonds and as and when they tried to devide it equally 1 diamond was left and was arguing for the 1 extra diamond.
Listening to their argument...

LIMITS EXIST ONLY IN THE MIND
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June 7, 2019
 

Hi,
My name is Merideth.
And my favorite past time is putting trust into people who don’t deserve it.

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MADE WITH LOVE
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April 28, 2019
 

My grandkids call me Gangsta Granny( David Williams) because she eats cabbage soup and always passes wind.
We wrote this for your amusement... Hopefully you will find it funny...toilet humour as I call it ,which children always find funny...
Granny why do you eat so much cauliflower, it only makes you trump
Granny why do you eat so much broccoli, it only makes you fart
Granny why do you eat so many leeks ,they only make you blow off
Granny why are you always letting one go
Why my darling grandchildren ,as if you didn't know
I'm a vegetarian ,and vegetables are what I eat
Gassy brassicas produce loud farts
Pretending it wasn't you that did it is a fine art!!!!😱👼💣

HAPPY EARTH DAY 2019
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April 28, 2019
Newcastle Upon Tyne, United Kingdom

Rome was not built in a day.
Witnessing it was surreal in every way.
Be a Roman when in Rome,
And then I realize that now, its time to go home.

#pun-intended #just for fun  

HAPPY EARTH DAY 2019
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April 24, 2019
 

From under the ground and into my tummy
You are the best thing that ever existed
Everyone feels the power of a single potato chip

HAPPY EARTH DAY 2019
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S
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April 23, 2019
 

I'm sorry that you can't swim the wild waters
I'm sorry you can't be free
I'm sorry you're parted from the life you love
But Salmon ,I adore you..........
With asparagus and hollandaise sauce

HAPPY EARTH DAY 2019
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April 22, 2019
 

Dear letterists,

What is your favorite food? Write a love poem for your favorite meal.
Tag it 'food'.

Make us smile!

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DON'T GROW UP
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April 16, 2019
San Antonio, United States

Dear Bachelors/Bachelorettes,

THERE ARE NO FISH LEFT IN THE SEA

i'm hitting the single life the way one should...one night stands here and there but i've realized that the only reason they are one night stands is because the majority of these women are just looking for that lesbian fling they forgot to take advantage of in college. so i'm doing my duties as a very honored member of the lesbian/queer community. the sad thing is as much as i should be enjoying it...i'm not. i leave without even saying the lame one linter "i'll call you" because they don't want to hear that and i sure as hell don't want to say it. don't get me wrong, all woman have a certain appeal, but i don't know them lo...

FRIENDS
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April 16, 2019
 

Argument with girlfriend is like
Accepting
Terms and conditions of the softwares

You should always accept it

©mr_introvert_

ORIGINAL
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April 9, 2019
Chandigarh, India

Keep Up the UNAGI even if the life become Pivot.! PIVOT.! PIVOT..!

LETTRS 2019 STAMP
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April 4, 2019
 

1990's
He holds a ring to propose her
She is so happy and accepted his proposal

Present
He holds a ring to propose her
She is checking the ring is fake or original

©mr_introvert_

POETRY MONTH
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April 4, 2019
Vadodara, India

“Fun fact”, she exclaims! “Atoms are 99.9 % empty”, and I gasp with a great sign of relief knowing the reason behind the great void I felt inside for so long.

POETRY MONTH
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April 4, 2019
 

Beauty Pageant - Final Q and A

The SETTING: Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion.
The FINALISTS:
Miss America
Miss Spain
Miss Britain
Miss Philippines
Miss Iran
Miss India
QUESTION: Miss America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
Miss AMERICA: Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
Miss AMERICA: Because it stands every-time it sees a woman.....
(Applause!.... Applause!)

QUESTION: Misss Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
Miss SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
Miss SPAIN: Because it charges every-time it sees an op...

POETRY MONTH
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April 2, 2019
 

April fool me:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have bacon... fooled you!

William Henry Mills Jr
04-02-2019

POETRY MONTH
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April 1, 2019
 

You ever had a dream that you were staring down at your own body lying in bed? I have and it's super creepy. How about when you have one of those falling dreams? Now that's scary 😨. But the scariest dream I've had was when I arrived late to class and I was totally naked. Yep no clothes on. And everyone was laughing at me. And they were pointing. I mean I know I don't have the best looking body but damn 😭. I've seen horribly shaped people and I'm not one of them. Thank goodness. I'm thick and I have a bit of a gut, but that's a work in progress. I'm just too lazy to excercise. Lol. My definition of excercise is walking to and from my car and walking to the mailbox. I love myself and so I have ...

GO FOR A DRIVE
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April 1, 2019
 

                            KEEP CALM
                         AND PRETEND
                      IT'S NOT MONDAY

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OH COME ON
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Jen
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March 27, 2019
Islamabad, Pakistan

real miscalculation 😂

yesterday i told someone that i lived almost half of my life.
and today i am dead. 😂

GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME
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