Me gustabas cuando eras invisible, cuando nadie mas te tomaba en cuenta solo yo.
M. Cuevas for M. M
I think of you often. I can no longer see or talk to you..., because of words I only hear in my head, no longer spoken aloud by you. I wonder where you are now. If you’re taking a stroll in heaven, talking the ears off of every stranger you meet up there, filling the skies with the light from your smile. I wonder if you watch me, shake your head when I do something senseless, laugh when I'm being stupid.... I wonder if you tell the other angels about me, if you share stories of the girl I used to be, the woman I’m hopefully becoming. I wonder if you are proud of me, would be proud of me, if you were still alive. It’s been a long road without you here. I know I wasn’t the only one hurt by yo...
I know I'm not supposed to write to you as what we had was past and we both have kind of moved ahead with our lives.
I don't miss you this frequently, trust me I don't; but today, out of nowhere, I opened my dropbox and there it was... a flood of your voice recordings and those pictures... EveryThing!
I know I'm not supposed to miss you but today I did.
I just hope you're doing well.
(PS: I do know I'm not supposed to use that name anymore but let's just hope its the last time.)
[ BE Hated!! ]
Thinking of you.
Want to share few things with you again..
I want to write. I have made a blogging page 'Thinking Rare'. It's been quite a long that I've been thinking to write, finally starting it. What it is going to be about?
I've started to feel like that I think quite differently from others. I am a skeptic and a rational thinker. I don't like taking sides. I don't let emotions play a bias game in topics. I understand emotions, I understand people. I look for facts and never let fiction mix with reality. I like being honest, lying takes a lot of work. But that won't make me right every time, I understand that too. I want to...
Soon I'll be away from you for the first time in my life. As you know, I'll be traveling to England to pursue my Master's degree.
It's funny how time flies, though. It feels like only yesterday you were tucking me into bed and reading me bedtime stories.
In times like this I just wish I was a kid again, back when things were much simpler.
But let's not dwell on nostalgia and look forward instead. It's never the end.
I promise you that before long, you'll hear me telling you: "Mom, I made it!"... and it's all thanks to you.
Every day is yours; not just Mother's Day. You'll always be the star that lights up my skies. My world in a person... My mother and best friend. I love y...
It still kills me when I think about the things I left behind. This isn't what I signed up for. I do not want to struggle every single day for the rest of my life. Yet struggle seems inevitable here. It's been a year now, and I still don't have a single friend here. Acquaintances, sure. But nobody who knows me. Nobody who's chosen to stick around. I wake up every day immersed in loneliness. I am always stressed out. Should I go? Should I try my hardest to make it work here for just a little longer? And what if I wait too long? I don't know how I'm supposed to make a decision like this. How can I chose to leave when I know that it will destroy and chance of Josh and I working out, and us being...
Be it your presence or absence, it is felt equally by me
and it is amazing to know that both my presence and absence are same to you..
Sometimes you get to point where you don't feel anything...
After repeated failures in relations..
You just see yourself, and think what's point ?
Then it strikes, become great...
Let greatness in you flow out like anything..
At start ,you are with you and nothing.
In the end, make name and ideology resonant in time, making you immortal..
It's been years since I been on here and I really missed it. A lot of things have changed and I am happy for that.
One More Time
If I could touch you one more time
If I could please you one more time
If I could kiss you one more time
If I could hold you one more time
I would never let go.
If I could control your feelings I would make them the same as mine and give you all you deserve. But I can’t. It’s impossible. My love for you wasn’t something I could quit on. No. Even when I knew you were fading away I kept trying. I couldn’t help but try to be the best man I could for you. It was what you deserved. Even when your rejection hurt the shit out of me. I still trusted in myself I could make things better. That I could fix things. But you had to severe the ties we made with each other. You are going ...
El mundo necesita mejoría
Para que ellos puedan ver
Como ponerle a la mujer
Del calendario un día?
Es como a una alcancia
Echar peceta a diario
Como me iré a ser millonario
Y así demuestro mi cariño
Pagándole la crianza de niño
Todos los días del calendario.
Me cuesta un poco eso de escribirte puesto que es muy pronto, trato de buscar las palabras precisas para describir la mezcla de entusiasmo, alegría y miedo que tengo en este mismo momento pero bueno ya empece...
No tengo idea si funcionara, si saldré lastimada o si algun dia lograre por fin ver esos ojos que tanto me gustan...
Pero en este preciso momento me gustaría estar contigo, hacer para mi un lugar en tu casa, en tu cama y aún más importante en tu corazón.
Quiero ser protagonista de tus alegrías, testigo de tus triunfos y tu soporte en tus momentos dificiles.
Quiero conocer cada detalle de tu vida; conocer cada rincón de tu cuerpo, sin importar tus complejos, inseguridade...
A Creature of Shadows
In the gloomy darkness of the night I explore,
My quest for love never succeeds,
This angst in my heart explodes,
And on a path of madness I proceed,
And so, I exhale smoke, and inhale hallucinations,
I chug up spirits and swallow depression,
I rave with a nameless lass,
And I let my conscience clash,
One is striving for a good time,
For he knows that this pain is unending,
The other upholds morals and ethics,
He does not see me lamenting,
Eventually, my sight disappears,
I know not if my senses would return,
But as it happens so often,
My mind would act to lessen my yearn,
The ensuing dawn I wake,
Beside a lassie as naked as a babe,
I sense my sights return, but i...
It's not your fault I'm angry.
You didn't do anything to upset me now.
This anger is coming from within.
This frustration is boiling up inside.
It's not your fault I'm crying.
You didn't do anything to hurt my feelings now.
These tears are caused by my internal struggle.
This sadness is growing from inside.
It's not your fault I'm explosive.
You didn't do anything to make me scream now.
This snapping is caused by my own impatience.
This lashing out is from inside of me.
Did I scream at you?
Snap at you?
Did I let my anger get out over you?
Did I start crying uncontrollably?
It's not your fault.
It's all coming from inside me.
It's my struggle.
It's mine to overcome.
It's mine to fin...
I built a world around you
You had me in a dream
I lived in every word you said
The stars had aligned
And I thought that I had found you
I left it all unspoken
I buried it in my heart
And now it's screaming in my head
I shouldn't go on hoping
That you will change your mind
And one day we could be
I thought that I could change your heart
I thought that we would be the greatest story that I would tell
I know that it's time to let you go
But I don't wanna love somebody else
I kissed the tellurian brow.
"I'm only Azhar," I remind myself. Refulgence is Pelagian. I scatter the dust— it's everywhere. The falsifier of dreams rousing the peace of cinder.
And I fear the thought: with Sartre sedentarily, in oaklike silence. They say, "leave the sunlight." I can't. I can't go back 'through the conduit' and risk Pierian sickness. But it's no more than extracting olive from the shell. "Then forget tissues," I say. Forget the antra. Too much nesting; too much entailing parentheticals.
Visages flip over perpetually. What was I reading? The tip of graphite chips away, I stop writing. Regearing the triconsonantal roots on the tip of my tongue. This is the past— in the orang...
Lay me down in the garden of woe where the wilt feels oh so natural this place one more of beauty in things shunned by its brighter peers for being lesser lacking light of life spread me across the field of anguish where the agony is rooted deep to the soil as the blades of pain surround me slashing away from left to right and below stabbing at the remainder of this lost soul chain me to the anchor of surrender and watch me sink below the waters of misery and the waves Engulf this body...
Walking Alone In The Shadow Of Moon,
Shattered To The Bit Too Very Soon,
Mistakes Are Fatal...
Excuses Very Few,
It's Not A Battle.....But Just Uh!
Desires Being Loud And Damn Scary,
Evil Lashed Wishes Seem So Merry,
Until The Dawn...
Till You Start To Sew,
Not The Destiny.....Still Just Uh!
Cries The Heart With All The Pain,
Deeds Just Done Being Insane,
Time To Realize...
And Start It New,
Coz All I Want.....Is Just Uh!