12 days before Christmas.
They say, if a door closes, it means another one will open.
I wonder, if I'm the one who closes a door, will it still willing to open up for me?
Today, I decided to write about my thoughts and curiosity on the things I've encountered this year.
Honestly, there are a lot of things going in my head since I resigned from my job. All the 'What Ifs', the confused feeling of regret, the 'What will happen now' feeling and mixed emotions of fear, excitement, and confusion. Even it was more than half a year ago, I don't know why I can't help but think of all these things.
On another note, today, I finished one of my research paper in Grad School. I was thankful for gaini...
I can hardly believe it sometimes
These years passing me by
First few years were the hardest
Some days, I almost don't remember losing you
Some days, I bawled my eyes out
Some days, the slightest things ended up being the biggest triggers
God, the flashbacks were painful
Always, the flashbacks
The same scene over and over again
Regret filled me with wishes that will never come true:
Wishing I could change things I did
Wishing I could change the words I said
Wishing I could say the words I never said
Wishing I was a better person to you
Wishing I understood your struggles
Wishing I had shared your pain
Wishing you were there with me
More years passed
And I won't lie
It seemed easie...
We all have a purpose in life, most time we won't be able to recognize them. Most times we just want to run away. We sometimes think that we aren't loved or that we're never meant to be loved. But here's a little secret that's not true. Like many of you I've fought with my different types of depressions, anxieties and suicidal thoughts. I know what's it like to not really like the holidays anymore, because all it does is remind you of the family and loved ones you lost and can't spend it with anymore. It will hurt for sometimes but as the saying goes time will heal it but here's a little advice to help you get through this holiday season hurting less.
I want you to under...
Hace semanas que empecé de cero.
Hace poco tiempo que me di cuenta quiénes son verdaderos.
Solo hace días estoy casi completa.
Todos los problemas se solucionan con el tiempo.
Solo hoy puedo decir que soy feliz.
Tengo la libertad que siempre soñé.
Hoy soy libre de forzar mi destino y ser una mejor versión de mi.
Whatever we get through in life, it builds who we are. And so it does even after now, periodically until we are not physically here anymore. The thing is, there is so many things and people that badly hurt us or even put us through hurtful situations. Some do it absolutely unintentionally. Still, they build us in such a way that they become the pieces that construct all we become.
At first when you think about this you realise that even the worst encounters will be in us forever, with us. Having these people or things that have hurt us in such ways lay on our souls forever, makes us want to dislike who we are very easily. But don't think it that way. I'd see it as strength. How so? Well, ...
Written over a coffee as I thought about humanities future and how people treat others.
There are those of us who raise our love to the emotional skies so that it may shine down upon others as feeling sunshine. Open to all we brave few expose ourselves to nurture a belief of faith in humanity. Where others see only the ever growing darkness some light their torch to draw open those curtains of despair revealing the goodness that is still there. Not as Angels among humans but a choice of free will to help bring a path to the map of life that others may see to follow.
So often the humble rug upon which we stand to try to deliver this simple message is heartlessly pulled from beneat...
I was not going to pen this letter for it is of great personal meaning.
A friend of mine through their own learning has me reviewing my spirituality alongside that which it leads me to believe. Part of this is that thought from Buddhism that we should live in the moment for it reality it is the only place that we truly live. If we do then the worry of that which has past or that yet to come is muted for a true state of being that should bring about a peace within.
I recently faced my fear of the future by finding all the strength of courage that I could within my heart and mind, focusing in on living in the moment. In that brief time so I overcame that which I had been so afraid of ...
Standing beneath the mistletoe
Waiting for a Christmas kiss
When suddenly I realize
I'm awaiting much more than this
I hope to find somebody
Whose love falls in love with me
A love to stay forever
Beside endless Christmas trees
Someone to spend my days with
And dream away my nights
Someone who understands me
And scares away my frights
I long to find that someone
And to my heart be true
Who doesn't want to change me
"Just stay uniquely you." JD
*Loves First Kiss*
#mistletoe #MaesDec18 & #31DaysOfXmasWithMatie
#UniquelyYou #DecemberFields #Wr...
It's not my intention to hurt you
For once, I am just making a decision for myself
I'm not sure if we can reconcile
and it's tough
because I treasure you a lot.
I wonder how it will be
But I still hope
everything's gonna be fine
just the way before
I'm too shallow to be emotional
I don't regret
but I'm just scared to lose
a genuine heart whom it's hard to find
A friend like you
is hard to find
But God only knows
if we can work out fine.
*A huge thank you to Max Wilson for lending me his photo for my background. His Instagram is @boy_plus_camera.*
His power was loquacious Mercury,
Spilling from his lips freely and unendingly so,
Tantalizingly close yet torturous.
It ran from your fingertips,
Always allowing you to see it
But never to posses it.
He was the same.
But always fleeing something.
And unwilling to be hurt again,
He always fought,
Scrambling away from his own shadow,
Which to him stood twice as tall as he.
Standing right in front of you one moment,
But at the first sign of danger,
By the next moment,
He was on a plane to somewhere new,
Its the reason I go to bed before it gets really dark, and the reason I get up before dawn
Its the reason the prevailing winds are my favourite topic of conversation, and why my wetsuits are my my most consistent fashion statement
Its the one thing that keeps me sober and relatively sane these days, surfing saves my life...my healthiest addiction by far.
Nature is not something seperate from us
WE ARE NATURE
If we lose our connection with nature
WE HAVE LOST OURSELVES
I think my fear
Of not living
Has always been greater
Than my fear
My fear of failure
Less, than the fear
Of not trying.
Skylark Challenge 167
And here I am
Without an umbrella
Flash like neon signs
In the darkness
Of my mind
I try following their light
To where you might be
If only to prove
I'm not alone
But as the trail
So do my hopes
Of finding you. JD
#neon #alone #following #umbrella #darkness
Background image courtesy of @ nu.tri.aaa on Instagram
"I am surprised at how life takes drastic turns..
From the saddest of the stories to joyous ones.."
Today, I came to this forum after 2 long years.. Straight in 2018 after 2016 !
..and was touched to read through my own feelings, from my own past !
Today, life is so very different..!
Everything has changed and there is so much to smile for, live for.
My life had reached a stagnation point and I didn't know which way to walk..
Seriously there was not even a single direction for me to walk into..
But now there are so many paths to follow.. so many dreams to accomplish.. and so many moments to live!
Yes, life does change..!
I would like to tell everyone who is into a quiet depression like I ...
Se levantó luego de una dura, caótica, inesperada y dolorosa caída.
Se vio más sola que nunca, se refugió en sí misma y buscó durante meses la fuerza que necesitó para salir de esa oscuridad. Escuchó hasta ecos en su interior de lo vacía que se sentía por dentro...
No buscó a nadie más que no fuera a ella misma, esta vez se dio cuenta que se trataba de crecer, era su momento.
Y aquí está, a pocas semanas de que finalice el año más inesperado de su vida... amó incondicionalmente a la mujer que le hizo feliz muchas veces pero su tiempo juntas expiró.
Quien sabe que vaya a suceder... hay cosas que ya no nos corresponden hacer... porque ya no está en ella enterrar o revivir aquello que tuv...