I am struggling.
This is so hard.
All the things it covered up, there's nothing to cover them anymore and they HURT.
It is unimaginable if you are not an addict or an alcoholic. You grew up and learned how to cope. How to quiet the inner voice that circles like rabid wolves waiting to take you down. We didn't. We never sent the wolves away, we used instead and muzzled them. They're always waiting, watching with hungry eyes.
When you stop, when you get sober and get clean they attack en masse and it
I don't know how to stop them without the help of old "friends."
I won't, because I'm too stubborn. It hurts and it's insane. And to look at your own thoughts and recognize that they are...
Living far away from you has made me feel discreet....
Whenever sun shines upon my head ,
I find you in rays....
Whenever rain makes me wet,
I find you in droplets...
Whenever wind takes me away,
I find you in the way...
Whenever mountains cry,
I find you in the river passing by...
Whenever forests unites,
I find you in those darkest nights...
Ohh dear..!!Come back soon,
I can see your glowing face shinning in this full moon....
I know Lettrs is meant for poetry and pretty things... Sometimes plain speaking about life is a pretty thing....
So I've been pretty open about being an addict and an alcoholic. I've known and understood being and addict for years, and I sort of broke the cycle with drugs now and then. What I never noticed is how my drinking picked up when I stopped using. So I've recently, as in within the last month, realized and admitted to being an alcoholic.
I've also made changes because I don't want to be "that guy" and I don't want to die. More importantly, I don't want to lose my family. During this time I've listened to a lot of people, I wrote down the things they've said that resonated with me a...
I absolutely REFUSE to let drugs be my demise.
I am better than that, and so are you. You deserve to feel good about yourself without a substance. I know it’s hard. I never been called handsome until my last girlfriend. Yeah we broke up. Will I let drugs and alcohol be the solution? Well if we’re honest, yeah I made that the solution. But like when we solve math problems or more accurately chemistry equations... we would be wrong.
2 + 2 = 4. Not a beer.
We are given these life problems and we choose to answer them with wrong answers because there is no one grading us anymore.
Let’s try a harder equation...
((Depression + Easy access to Drugs)Working at a Bar) - A reason to be your best...
So I'll keep scratching
Harder n harder
Till i peel all my skin off
And let my blood
Intoxicated by your smell
Flow down my arms
Leaving me just a mere
Pile of blood n flesh...
Sleepy cat on the window sill,
Where you come from I know not.
For I have never had a cat,
Yet there you lay in my favourite spot.
I approach cautiously as not to wake,
The most adorable intruder.
Lightning flashes warning quiets break,
Shimmering off your fur like pewter.
The thunder cracks and we both jolt,
I guess we're both a little skittish.
I stop and crouch so you don't bolt,
You show teeth in a frightened hiss.
Slowly I extend my hand,
You give a curious sniff.
More relaxed you stretch and stand,
As I inch closer you seem to stiff.
I gently pat your retreating head,
A promise not to detain.
All you did was find a warm bed,
To shelter you from the rain.
Droplets still cli...
From chous of my heart one sound I see,
Which leads to you and down it leen.....
Behind the darkest cloud,you are my paradise.,
Where there is no cliff of pain crushing me,
Only your warm hand to embrace.....
The mystic sound of your breezing heart and the chiming of breath,
Makes my soul weak.....
5:30am Get up, coffee, cigarette.
6:00am Feed the horses, goats, chickens and dogs, cigarette.
6:30am Milk the goat.
7:00am Strain milk and store in refrigerator to be pasteurized later.
7:15am More coffee, cigarette.
7:30am DONT DRINK, cigarette, head to a meeting.
8:00am Meeting, cigarette.
9:00am Errands, cigarettes, home.
12:00pm Lunch, cigarette.
12:30pm Clean the barn, listen to podcasts or music, cigarette.
4:00pm (Mondays only) Therapy, cigarette.
4:00pm (Tuesday - Sunday) Hang with the kids, no cigarette, second hand smoke is bad.
6:00pm Feed the horses, dogs, and goats. Collect eggs and lock up the chickens. Cigarette.
6:30pm Dinner. Cigarette.
7:30pm Time with the most ...
Everyone is addicted
to something or other,
mine tends to be you.
People are distracted by things
you are my distraction,
you captured my mind and heart.
Stages of alcohol::
It’s not my passion
But never aware of its addiction
It became my expression
Gone through some rationalization
Got rid of thoughtless fermentation
In love with some experimentation
Got new interpretation
With ideas integration
With perspective neutralization
Improved skills of communication
Got rid of superstition
Unleashed new dimension
Lost physical cooperation
Tried new composition
Experienced soul liberation
Yet it’s not a passion
After 7th peg it became a compassion
I think about you so I drink
I always think of you when I’m drunk
So I drink more
Then I black out
But I bet you’re among the thoughts
Of the black out me too
LET THEM FALL
I thought I was done crying over you.
I thought all the tears had fallen and somehow my ducts were dried.
The powerful waves of the oceans behind my eyes had crashed down upon shores of my cheeks for nights upon end, and tonight let that repetition proceed.
I am so sad.
Writing is not an Art.... It is a method to empress your emotions and feeling by a pen and paper....
I don't know, Why do i write?
But the truth is every emotion of your daily life contains many kinds of writing stuff.... Just like.. if you are sad then you will prefer to write some sad poetry....
If you are happy.. then you will express your happiness in your words....
Writing comes from your heart & Heart dictates you to write the thing you are writing....
Writing is all about your feelings and emotions... Without emotion we can't write anything amazing....
" Never stop writing, if it is your passion then never leave it alone, but make it all your own "
You are not alone. In this you are not unique. We all come from trauma and the attempt to run from the pain. We are all the same and we all need each other to get better. A good friend related us to aliens, and non-addicts to earthlings because we are a group unlike the "normals." You'll always be an addict, but you don't always need to be controlled by it.
The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous
1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction; that our lives had become unmanageable.
When you see the disasters your addiction has caused and acknowledge your real need for help, you face reality with humility and open the door for a changed life.
2. We came to bel...
With one hand you caress your beloved pet DOG.
On your other hand is your favourite fried CHICKEN.
We are 'Humans' 😊
Getting woke up again at 3 am by that phone call. Wondering if she has been in an accident or arrested? Neither this time!! She is stuck at a ratty motel and her car won't start. So gone out of her mind that she can't comprehend what she is doing really. Cusses me out when I won't come to her rescue. I have dealt with her addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, and stealing for far too long. Took a wrap for her many of times...No is what came out of my mouth and I could barely believe that it came out of my mouth too. It is a Thursday and I am not going to be late to work and deprive myself for the sake of you..no more! Get your shit together Lady! Spreading all this disease with to this man and th...