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January 4, 2019
 

I’m afraid of what will change

If I ever show them who I really, truly am.

SIMPLE STRIPES
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January 3, 2019
 

The Monster

I notice the shadow in the corner of my room
As I am tap, tap tapping the keys in the gloom
It seethes with black tendrils of smoke
And through the fog, I see red eyes begin to glow

It is the monster that slinks around my house
Through the crack under the door and the holes in my yard
I am alone in this place and alone in this world
The only thoughts I hear are from the monster in my home

As I watch the shadow in the corner of my room
It grows antlers that are black and silver like the moon
I try not to move, I try not to breathe
But those glowing red eyes are still fixed upon me

It let's out a cry as shrill as the night
And I run from the room to the corridor on the right
The...

ANGEL BREATHING
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January 2, 2019
 

Nothing Hidden to
your mind, heart, and soul
It knows
what it has seen
that I showed,
what it felt
That I made you feel
and then what it made you
(Nothing Hidden)
You are in"Love"with me.
-Chirayu!.

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FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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January 1, 2019
 

Me puse a pensar sobre la facilidad que tienen las personas para demostrar sus sentimientos o pensamientos hacia otros, ¿Y porque? Por que ... A mí realmente se me hace difícil relacionarme con otros, es complicado lograr sentirse cercano hacia otra persona, y el que yo logre ser cercana hacia alguien, debe ser algo significativo, pero tal vez no lo sea así ...
Y lo he comprobado cuando e intentado demostrar cercanía hacia ellos, que solo a sido una farsa, una cortina de humo, porque no muestran como son en realidad ...
Quisiera escribir mas, pero siento temor ...

-YV

NEW
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January 1, 2019
 

Each and every one of my organs are failing,
My mental state, derailing,
Don't you see,
I can no longer breathe for myself,
I need you to breathe for me,
This isn't how I wanted us to end,
This is how God wanted it to be,
I am ever so sorry,
I never planned to leave you behind,
I realise now,
Life isn't always kind,
But the day I was given you,
You already took my breathe away,
So please,
Keep it,
You see, I no longer need it,
Every breath you continue to make,
Means my memory is still in place.

HAPPY 2019
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December 31, 2018
 

I've given the wrong people my love
I got someone who loves me
I want right in the head
Running off doing drugs trying to hide in the pain
Even left my daughter when I could have done better
I wish i could take the love i gave to the wrong people..
Made all these plans never followed through. Dont know how to pretend
My heart got stranded. Wish I could have it back.  I dont trust
I don't see how I could have done all I done when I was caught up in the game.
Now I'm looking back wishing things were different trying to make sense of my choices. Trying not to let my past cloud my future.
Moving forward going to give my heart to my daughter. Going to focus on positive.

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2019
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December 30, 2018
 

The new year isn't a national holiday in our house. It's always yelling, screaming and police arriving to arrest the same alcoholic man every year. Sometimes I might a joke about it and say "the cops probably know us by now." But they don't and don't care. They think we're just a family that's a waste a time to help... Happy New Years Father... I'll look forward to what you have to complain about...

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2019
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LMV
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December 30, 2018
Courtland, United States

And so I’m back to where I was 1 1/2 yrs ago.  Missing someone who has disappeared all for his own reasons in which he refuses to explain.  
I’m back to feeling sad and uncertain. Back to missing the one person I adore and miss kissing all over his face and squeezing him so tight because I’m missing him even when he’s in my arms because I knew he’d have to leave again.  
How do I begin to forget him.  
Where do I begin.  
🇮🇱😞

2019
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December 30, 2018
 

Being behind cement brick walls was what it took me to change into the person I've always want to be. Now that I'm free from a drug that was drowning me. No longer do I need the urge, the craving, the crankiness of what was poisoning me. Being behind those steel doors, listening to the guards telling me what to do, the inmates being favored over whose been in and out. Same shit different day. It's terrible. County time. No sun. No light. Not even a window to see what I'm really missing. Forgetting the reality. Sleeping all day was not the life for me. Depression eating at me trying to not get in the funk. Now that I know I'm never going back. Never going to return to the place that don't shin...

HOPE BATEMAN
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December 30, 2018
 

I don't know where to start
There are so many feelings deep within my heart
If I start crying, I am sure I will explode
I don't even want to go down that road
I am sure that I will cry like there's no tomorrow
But I am not sure if I'm ready to face that sorrow
I am so scared of something and I don't want to be
Every day, I am blocking out this fear because, it, I do not want to see
I don't even know why I am so afraid
All I know is that it keeps on coming in cascades
I so badly want to feel better, but I don't know how to even start
All I feel is broken pieces of what once was my heart
I don't want to face the fear, whatever it may be
But it may be the only thing stopping me from...

IT'S FINE
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December 29, 2018
 

Instincts

“Take a chance on the things that scare you the most”

“Become fearless to what tells you no when it feels so right”

-Gifted Thoughts-

HOPE BATEMAN
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December 29, 2018
Mumbai, India

Some people can see the dark circles under my eyes while some still see a glow on my face but no one can really see my broken dreams .

2019
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December 29, 2018
Mumbai, India

I wish I could tell myself that I will have a happy new year!

She abandoned me yet again!

These New Years come every fucking year but the feelings which I have for her are precious and delicate!

She has a habit of killing my emotions in a fraction of a second.
She says she wants me to be happy, but how the hell am I supposed to be happy without her?

She did the same thing last year before New Years.

As much as I wanna hate her for abandoning me again, my heart never wants to let go of her!
But it’s heights and my feelings?
They may fade-away!

So I will stay on stand by mode but I will take no more load, I will actually change my road where she won’t have my heart code!

Lastly...

Recovery Through Words
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December 28, 2018
Pomona, United States

The parasite inside me
Has made a beautiful home
I finally found a friend
Who won't let me die alone
~Kinky Eskimo ⭐

2019
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December 28, 2018
 

I'm like an open book with blank pages.
Not everyone can read my story.
Not everyone knows how it feels to be me,
Haven't gone the same path.
Not everyone knows my good and bad moments.
Not everyone knows how I feel or what I think.
Not everyone truly knows me,
Only their theories about me.
I'm like an open book with blank pages whose story can't be read by anyone.

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GREY AND WHITE
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December 26, 2018
 

Dear lover of my past
Am glad to have met you. Never realised that your addiction will be replaced by words.
I still crave for you, however, you are now the ink that fills the pages of my life....
Now that you left me.
I stalk you in the form of memories that those pages are still being filled with.

-Abeera

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
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December 25, 2018
 

Santa to me
What do you want? (Christmas Gift)

Me:
"Her happiness" (Life Gift)
If she is happy then my heart will be happy and if my heart is happy then my soul and mind are going to be happy
Then complete me is "Happy"

-Chirayu!.

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CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
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December 25, 2018
 




As I stand outside the stadium I can hear the rest of the world inside enjoying the concert of life.

Yet here I stand outside alone for I was not afforded a ticket to join in with them.

I can hear them but I cannot see them then I realise that is how it has always been.

Stood outside in the huge empty car park alone, it is then that it hits me that this is how my song has always been played.


Lamo The Lion 2018

LIFE SUCKS
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December 24, 2018
 


oh god, i'm drowning again.
This time the fall will be higher, and there's no coming back.
I'm drowning again.
i can already feel the sufocation on my lungs and the tears in my eyes. The feeling that everything's falling apart.
I'm drowning again. And there is no lifesaver this time, i made sure of it.
Oh, i'm drowning again.
What will happen when i hit the rock bottom, what will it be of everything i learned from the fall? The fish will surely not help me, they've been here for far too long.
What would have happened if i didn't take the stairs? Probably the fall would have been insignificant, probably i could even have learned to swim. But that's not what i did. I let myself go high...

ORIGINAL
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December 24, 2018
 

In darkness, I shall be light.
In times of doubt, I shall keep faith.
In throws of rage, I shall hone my craft.
In vengeance, I shall have no mercy.
In the midst of battle, I shall have no fear.
In the face of death, I shall have no remorse.

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EXPLOSION
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