He tells me Yes.
He never loves me less.
He wipes my tears.
He shields my fears.
He does his best.
He always cares.
A god's true blessing.
I'd like to say
That I was raised well
That I had
A good childhood
And was taught
All the right things
But I can't
Because I was raised
On liquor and lies
By a drunk
Who put the bottle
Ahead of anything else
And you wonder why
I'm so messed up. JD
*Vodka First* Father Part XXXIII
Have you ever wondered what type of old person you will be?
The kind when you go to supermarket and buy something and some old guy comes and tell you I tried that product and I tell you it’s good.
Will I give advice on products to random strangers
Or will you be the cranky old lady kind- shouting on everyone for everything just coz you like it
Or the cool kind telling your grand kids about what a hoe you were
Or the kind praying to lord and feeding grand kids like pigs to make them fat
कैसे मिलाऊ नजरे तुझसे मेरे बच्चे,
सोचा था इस बार तेरे फटे जूते बदल दूंगा।।
पर मेरी छोटी सी महिने भर की तन्ख्वाह ना जाने
क्युं इस सर्द रातो सी ठिठुर गई,
तेरी नन्ही ख्वाहिश को पूरा करने से पहले ही
दादी की दवाई,तो गुड्डी की फटी फ्रॉक मे ही बिखर गई। ।
कैसे मिलाऊ ये नजरें तुझसे मेरे बच्चे,
इस बार भी सोच रखा था तेरे फटे जूते बदल दूंगा,
पर तनख़्वाह आने से पहले ही
सर्द रातो की वो बारिश मे छत का टपकना।।
नही देख सकता तुम सब को यू रात भर ठिठुरते हुये।।।
कैसे मिलाऊ नजरे तुमसे मेरे बच्चे,
इस बार सोचा की तेरे फटे जूते बदल ही दूंगा,
घिस घिस कर तेरह घन्टे काम किया
महिने के आखिर मे तनख़्वाह संग कुछ पैसे आए।
खुश होकर निकला उस शाम बाज़ार, घर आने से पहले,
याद था मुझको लेने है पहले तेरे नए जूते।
अपनी ही धुन मे...
Na maior parte das vezes, durante o dia não tenho tempo para fazer o meu luto em condições. Limito-me a pensar no meu Nunum a toda a hora, e não a dar-lhe forças porque infelizmente já não o posso fazer, mas sim a pedi-las...é uma ausência insuportável, corrosiva demais para se alojar no peito de um humano. Todos os dias tenho arranjado um bocadinho do meu tempo para rezar à minha maneira, por ele. Sozinha, deito-me na cama, embrulho-me nos cobertores, desligo tudo, abro a janela e deixo a aragem entrar. E nesta parte sinto-o entrar, como se o chamasse e ele simplesmente viesse.
Este é o meu luto. Este é o meu culto à sua alma. Sei que vai demorar a passar este nó que se entranhou na minha ...
You failed me
Too many times
To even begin
You tried to love us
The best you could
But it was never enough
Because the bottle
Always came first
When will you
Finally wake up (sober)
And see the world
Through clear eyes? JD
*Wake Up* Father Part XXXII
My father lost a tooth
I could sense the sadness in the eyes which once laughed with joy, I could feel the fear when he pumped his heart which no longer was invincible.
The plates and knives lost it's charm because the person who bought it was no longer same, it seemed impossible that anyone could endure such pain.
My Father lost his first tooth and I was lost with time. For grasping, the concept of mortality was harder when it came to mine. I knew it was my turn now, to make the moments count. But was I ready or I was just going to let him down? Then I felt a pat on my back saying,
Son life is like the same cycle which you paddled long ago I held you from the back and then let you go.
Best marriage advice ever by a dad to his son
1.My Son, if you keep spending on a woman
and she never asked you if you're saving or investing,
and she keeps enjoying the attention, don't marry her.
2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some
could be a good mother to your children but if you've
found a woman like a mother to you, your children
and your family, please don't let her go.
3. My son, don't confine the position of your wife to the
kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days,
we had farm-lands where they worked every morning.
...that was our office.
4. My son, if tell you that you're the head of the
house, don't look at your pocket; look if y...
A letter to the heaven.
🍎An apple for you. People send apples to each other on Christmas in our country. I think you may not know this thing because it hadn't become a tradition when you left. My student sent me one yesterday, and I want to share it with you. I am so sorry that I don't know what your favorite fruit is.
Daddy, can you make my Christmas wish come true? I wish you can come into my dream and give me a hug or maybe more a kiss.
Good night daddy. Love you always.
You will undoubtedly
At the bottom
Of a bottle
It is not my place
To offer you absolution
But I can
Lend you my hand
To keep you from drowning
This time around. JD
*Father Part XXXI - This Time*
#perish & #absolution #WritingChallenges
Skylark Challenge 118
He created who he is
Which is a storm
Poured from the bottle
Sometimes straight up
And other times
On the rocks
In each passing day
I always held out hope
That things could change
That he would change
But tomorrow never came
He remains the same
As life rains down around him
And lightning strikes repeatedly. JD
*Father Part XXX - His Own Storm*
What do you do when some one gifts your dad the same cologne he uses? He, who you want to be next to at night, who you wish to caress, who you wish to sing your lullabies to. He, who is just beyond your reach, teasing you relentlessly. What do you do when you have him in a bottle by your bed side?
I for one, projected all the affections that were once meant for him onto it.
"Smell him!" said a familiar voice in my head; it was my id. My ego relented. I unscrewed the bottle and breathed him in. I took another breath, and this time my lungs refused to let it out. My breath hitched, my skin flushed, I felt him in me.
I imagine how much I would love to smell it off neck him instead. I w...
I once caught my father
On a December morn
Building and hammering
Outside of my house
He was caught off guard
And I shouldn't have seen
Because no one is supposed to know
Who Santa's elves really are
And that's what they told me
My parents, they did
That my dad was a helper
For the big man in red
It wasn't until many years later
That the scene played out in my mind
And I came to realize
That the shape he had hammered
Was quite similar
To a hand made doll house in my room. JD
*My Father The Elf*
#christmas #memory #PhotoChallenge
If my Grandpa (paternal) was alive, our conversations would mostly be like this everyday because you can't expect oldies to speak something different each day. They play the same music almost everyday.
Me: Good morning, Grandpa. How's you?
Grandpa: Oh I'm okay, my girl. It's just that I'm angry with your parents. They have no time for me. They've put me in this home for the aged. They don't even come to see me .. etc etc.
Me: Grandpa, your children don't have the time for me. I'm their daughter. How do you expect them to spare some time for you? They have all the time in this world to argue over things that don't really make sense.
Grandpa: Be careful. Don't be saying it before your dad. ...
Family Tales #001
Me when I was 12 years old.
I had lost all 49 Chess games to my dad till now. (Yes. I kept track of it.)
I knew my first win was just round the corner.
That day was my birthday.
I to Dad: Let's play chess today.
10 moves into the game, I capture dad's queen in the game. I was ahead in the game. I was shouting like anything. Today was going to be my first win against my Guru. My teacher. My dad.
Five moves later, I lost Rook. I got a bit upset. He was again coming back into the game. All the shouts were gone. The silence spread across the room. I can't let this strong position go away. I have to win. Okay! I made one bad move. But still nothing is lost. I am stil...
While she was busy posing for the photographer, he secretly saved her smile in his mobile so that he could smile forever. He was smiling with tears in his eyes .
He said - " You are the prettiest bride I have ever seen. Can I have a dance with you? "
She gives her hand and they danced .
She whispered while dancing - "You will always be the first man I ever loved . I love you Dad ! "
__ the __ hidden __letter_to _dad _
And one day .....
My father spoke ...beating on my chest
""My son ! Feel the feel when your biopic is screened by your favourite hero ....
My son! Feel the feel when professor admires you as his best student ....
My son ! Feel the feel of family when you stand with successful career ....
My son ! Feel the feel of love when she thinks you were the golden priority of her that she made ....
My son ! Feel the feel of the brotherhood of bro and affection of your mom all the time you live ..
My son ! Feel the feel of your father's pride when you achieve my words in life ...........
My son ! Feel the feel of your soul when you feel these all
And to be all...
Day after tomorrow marks dad's tenth death anniversary. If he was alive, my conversation with him almost every evening would have been something like this.
Me: * immersed in doing my accountancy homework. Not bothered about how many of us exist at home, who is at home and who has gone out to attend a party*
Dad: * walking towards my room*
Me: * not aware someone's standing before me and asking me a question*
Dad (for the second time): My girl, where is mom?
Me: I don't know, dad. She must be around.
Dad: No. She isn't . Your siblings are not home as well. Where are they?
Me: I don't know, dad. They never told me where they were going. Just have look in the backyard. You might find them...
This quote "I don't know, I just want to be happy. I could be in a hole somewhere. Or I could completely lose it and be some hippy living in the woods with my dad." by Shia Lebeouf, reminds me of a book I read growing up called "My Side of the Mountain".
My world was so full of turmoil & chaos. I never felt that I fit in. The black sheep for no obvious or apparent reason. I was a bother, a hindrance to those who were supposed to be my family.
I read that book several times wishing I could run away and be alone on my own adventures.
I remember once I took some cans of food and set out to leave. I was gone for hours in the dead of winter in Wisconsin. I was hiding in an abandoned car. I was...