These winds carry me to unknown places
Surrounded by a sea of new faces
Never knowing what lies ahead of me
So lost in the dark that I cannot see
And still I will enter without regret
Without a moment to sit and reflect
Comforted while trapped in my confusion
Too confused to notice the illusion
became my home before my very eyes
Enticing me with this new state of mind
My walls erect were now only suspect
To come crashing down when I'd least expect
Granting me the facade of feeling free
Foreign to me lay truth, reality
While I was taking up residency
In what was no more than pure fantasy
~Lady Sativa 🍃
Oh the tears
they have made dents
on my pillow.
This feeling is dence
but I'll still go.
no ink in the pen
Dropped a thought
on the table
the years accumulate,
filling the space between us
we live in the margins,
avoiding shallow waters
filled with hollow words
we’re all fake smiles
and bitter reminders
and thinly veiled distaste,
the ghosts of what once was
i always thought
we’d find our way back
were made to burn
- ashley jane
Y tanto la quise, que al alejarse de mi, había olvidado quién era yo.
Un inmenso vacío.
Pain and fear are my constant companions. I don't know when it will stop.
Oh, Father, where are you? Don't leave me in the middle of this storm.
All my life people have dug their claws into my skin and tore flesh from the bone.
They left me standing there bleeding out all on my own.
So can you blame me for not looking you in the eye?
Because all I have ever wanted was to live while others wanted me to die
Are you surprised I mumble and fumble my words?
When others have taken what I have said and buried it in the dirt
It has never been my intention to be malicious or cruel
So why am I treated like scum on the sole of a shoe?
I'm just doing my best to carry this trauma on my back
Traveling with empathy and compassion, the things those others lack
I ask as I wander "what did I do to warrant such abuse?"
It's wasted breath becau...
And she finally gave up,
dropped the fake smile
as a tear ran down her cheek and she whispered to herself,
“I can’t do this anymore”
Sleep evades me because thoughts of you plagues my heart and mind.
How do I let you go,I mean truley let you go,without erasing all that we had.
But I feel to let you go,I have to let them go,all the smiles,laughs,the pranks we played,the memories we created. They all have to be let go but I don't know how or maybe I don't want to....
Te quiero absorber como la nicotina
de mi cigarrillo, que te alojes en un rinconcito de mis pulmones y te quedes ahí eternamente,
que te riegues en todo mi torrente sanguíneo; aunque seas tóxica, aunque el humo del tabaco y tú tengas las 70 sustancias que producen el cáncer, aunque me mates suavemente, aunque seas mi muerte silenciosa.
¡Te quiero en mí, para mí, para siempre!
«Así de suicida soy»
8 times I called you today.
8 times I wish
you had stayed.
8 times you
waited for you
until 8 p.m.
times you had
ignored my calls
so you could get
drunk all night
A mi fracaso más querido:
Te he echado tanto de menos; han pasado varios años desde que lo nuestro acabó por llamarle así, puesto que, realmente nunca inicio.
Solo que estos días tu recuerdo se ha hecho muy presente en mí, incluso soñé contigo, que al fin aclaramos todo esto... y la parte que más me marcó de mi sueño fue donde nos reconociamos como el fracaso más querido del otro; tú el mío porque te quise hasta más no poder, te quise con la mayor seguridad de toda mi vida y porque ahí contigo tirada en un sofá viendo dibujos animados fueron los mejores momentos de mi vida hasta ahora, porque me enamoré de ti hasta los huesos pero todo esfuerzo fue en vano. Y yo para ti soy tu fracaso más q...
There is still a slight indentation in my
bed where you use to lay.I still remember the last time you were here.
The joy that filled our hearts and the
laughter that filled my room as we goofed off, we even broke a lamp that day. Its been forever
but I still find myself thinking of you here and there,wishing that our out come had been different,still wishing you would have chose our love over your fears
Yes I still think of you here and there and the slight indentation in my bed that reminds me you were real,we were real.
Sometimes tears can set hearts on fire.
Not only with burning love and desire,
but with ruthless, cold ire.
And both hearts will pay the price,
burning during the long night,
of each other’s vengeful feel.
Ashes scathered in the wind,
of a relationship so ill,
That they once claimed to be love.
So tired of being the one who's trying ,
Trying for us. Us to be we. Because after all the trying it's just me.
I can’t seem to find the lost me among the rubbish. I saw what I was capable of in that quick glimpse and I was disappointed at who she became. This wasn’t her anymore. She no longer had the light within her that brightened up everyone’s life. In fact, that light blew out a long time ago. She feels hopeless and doesn’t feel she puts enough in.
She is lost among the rubbish.
She talks everyday about throwing in the towel. But she knows she has a few awesome people that depend on her existence. She has no idea where to start back up from where she left off.
She is lost among the rubbish.
in my stomach
the pain in my chest
and the aching of my heart
trying to piece itself together.
my hearts trying to put itself back together
does it hurt so bad?
Pieces of her emotions laid scattered at her feet
Unable to gather her thoughts
She sat down among her emotions
Desperately wanting to put them
back together again
But how could she,when she
herself wasn't even whole
I’ve been lost the entire day and I’m not sure what I can do. I can never get anything right.
I can’t stop my path is set. All the whispers and lies from every less demon inside. Almost acidic, and I’m so desperate I keep running to find out why.
Everything I hate just dwells inside. I am the dark you created, I am a sin. It’s all falling away from me. All I know is darkness, this might be my fate.
Part 7 - The Appointment
Four years ago I had to go to a consultation with a therapist - it was an anger management session, my first one.
How did I get there - I got angry enough to bring physical harm to someone I was dating months prior.
"What made you so angry?" The therapist asked me.
I didn't have a real answer because I never stopped to think as to why. I thought for a moment before answering.
"Well she was talking shit about me," I said.
"It has to be deeper than that," said the therapist and that made me think.
Maybe it's because I was hurt that someone I loved could look at me that way after all I had done for them. I hate to be taken for granted. I hate to feel underva...