“Why do we need to please others when all you feel is, empty from the within and you want to follow those who can fly, so badly but yet, the expectations of others saturates the tiny wings and I can’t lift them...”
What You Drew
I need to lay my head
On your naked chest
Accompanied by the comfort
Of your blue sheets
I’m sorry for the stains I left there Between the plaid print covers
I wear your clothes now And wait for your return Since I can’t feel your touch, I resort to clothing that once belonged to you To provide warmth And protect my skin from the cold air
Until your return I will not feel safe Because in times of grave danger and distress Your arms are where I run to A sanctuary of goodness and relief to me And you are my favorite place to hide
With each joke I hear I find myself Pausing and looking to my side To hear your reaction And see your wholesome smile But then the sting of ...
Can I ever forgive you?
When you ask me to forgive you, someday in life, I simply tell you that I'm not angry. Because I'm not. I'm not upset, I'm plagued. Plagued by the absence of you, shattered by this present, this unforseen present dumped on me. I'm not angry at you, I'm lost, lost of any purpose, deprived of any wish, abandoned. I sulk through the days, cry through the nights, not because I'm angry, but because I was pushed out, with no trace of regret, my identity taken away from me. I cry, because I know I'm not missed, not because I'm angry. So, don't ask me for forgiveness dear you, it's not your fault. It's love's fault, for it decided to reveal it's true natur...
the sound of the dripping on the damp walls
from the beer bottle you threw at mother
she’s on the ground
yet you stand in my way of helping her
you laugh at her pain
but she still loves you
i don’t understand why
all i know is
i’m not going to break her heart like you intended too
i will keep her safe
and away from you
are too powerful
are too weak
you nail our feet to the ground
and order that we stand up.
Maybe I wasn't the best thing that happened to you. Maybe someday, it would be easier to accept that.
Someday, when you come back to our city, would you feel the rush to come visit my place,once your heavenly abode? In that moment, would you regret the decision you took, would you regret leaving? That day, when you find that nothing really changed here, would you know that neither did I? Would the roads leading you to my place, tell you my story, explain how I passed my days, in your absence? Would my terrace show you traces of my presence, as I looked upon the road, for time infinite, hoping that you would return until it eventually exhausted me? Would my house speak of my cries, of the ...
Every new 'Thing' in life, brings with it an excitement. You know that feeling in the stomach, when your heart is elated, all set for the new experience. That's when your mind stops reverting back , that's when it imagines a better future, makes plans and life seems so beautiful with no weary past.
It is only when the 'new experience' runs dry, when it all gets over, when the bubbles burst, that a realization strikes.
Someday, sitting on your favorite spot, living on your normal life, you come across a familiar name and a known feeling gushes in. A memory of an old 'thing' you once owned, a thing that was your muse for years. It hits you, how the craving of the new washed away the exist...
My head throbs
My heart shrinks
My chest heaves
My bones ache
My skin burns
My fingers crack
My knees buckle
My ankles pop
My blood runs slow
My eyes look hollow
My body is stiff
Yet my hands shake
Water rises in my eyes
My body becomes
Only a shell
I can't move
As time ticks on
That one thing
Could do this
Can be held
And if only feelings can replace the bloid in my veins,
The wounds on my wrist will never heal.
Do you remember my name? And the fact that I loved to hear it in your voice. That occasionally when I called out to you, it was only so I could listen to you, say my name. That every time you called my name, I felt safe, I felt your assurance, I believed that you were around.
Are you around anymore? Will you not keep me safe? Will you not assure me that it's going to be alright, that whenever I would need you, you would lend me your hand?
Have you left already, moved on?
The subtle pain of being away from a part of you is so profound,
No amount of expressing, explains it
No amount of shedding tears, sheds it
No amount of distractions, keeps you away from it
But that is okay because there is a beauty in being connected to that part of you, this pain keeps you connected.
Such an ironic sorrow.
DEAR ME OF 2023
Five uears ago you didn't like to socialise. You didn't express your emotions. You didn't express your feelings. You had very few best friends and even fewer(1 or 2) whom you could really trust. So to whom would you have talked. Family? Yeah right! As if they didn't have a hundred problems of their own. You tried to atleast solve your emotional and mental problems on your own. Five years ago you thought that life is easier alone than with a family coz when you have a family expectations come along and non-fulfilment of those leads to frequent arguements. You thought the same about your love life and avoided any kind of committment and relationships in these past five years. I'...
A part of me would always be with him.
But we had reached, I think, the point of no return. A month before I didn't want to even consider it coming to an end...nobody ever does. Now I'm not saying I was overjoyed by the idea either, I still loved the very bones of him. But I was at peace with it. We had come to, if you like, our natural end.
There's no feeling like love. Everything in the world is sweet when you're in the midst of it - and I know, I know the feeling of ecstasy when you're experiencing all of your firsts with someone doesn't last forever and arguments happen and you have days where you just want a break. I also know that I am far from an expert on the subject. But I have a t...
Appearance is a powerful tool. And the biggest lie you can tell someone. I always used to think that a lie could be seen in someone’s eyes when told. That the truth would float up to the surface, visible like an oil stain on water. But it does not. Truths are like separated droplets in a sea. Unseen, submerged, dissolved. We only see the sea. Appearance is a powerful tool.
I don’t like the taste of coffee. But I drink it anyway because I feel like I need it. Sometimes. We need to move on fuelled by whatever floats our boats. As long as we keep pushing forward. Go, go. Figure it out. Figure it out. But don’t stop moving. I don’t like the taste of coffee because it’s bitter. It even sounds b...
In my mind.
Tears following gravity
she's screaming at me
says I'm better of dead
that I deserve a bullet through my head.
everything I do I do wrong
she says I don't belong.
blade to my wrist
but holding on to a reason I still exist.
she says I'm a piece of shit
and on life I have to quit.
to her I'm a joke
wanting me to choke.
she says I'm born a disappointment
that I steal all enjoyment.
she lives in my mind
and she's all but kind.
Somebody said you got a new friend.
Does she love you better than I can?
There is a big black sky over my town
I know where you at, I bet she's around
I know it is stupid but I just got to see it for myself.
I'm in the corner watching you kiss her
I'm right over here, why can't you see me?
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home
I keep dancing on my own
I'm just gonna dance all night
I'm all messed up I'm so out of line
So far away, but still so near
But you don't see me, standing here
I just came to say goodbye
You hurt me that day.
I was innocent, and vulnerable.
I trusted with a pure heart.
I was only 4.
I was a baby.
You hurt me that day.
I wish I could forget.
I wish I could go back to that day and stay home.
I wish my parents would have been more mindful, and cautious with who they let me go with that day.
But none of that matters now.
I wish I could remember what you look like.
I can remember everything else but your face, the memory of your face is blank.
Are you someone's father or grandpa now?
Have you hurt anyone else like you hurt me?
You took something from me that day,
and when I find you I will take something from you.
This one thing I cannot f...
Henceforth, I just ask you to be with me. Because maybe, the only person I trust on with my feelings, is you. I apologize for complaining, for begging and for being angry at you. I learnt that we get what we deserve and never receive what we don't. So, no matter how much I wail, beg, offer or sacrifice what's not mine will never be mine. Henceforth Lord, I shall never ask for anything material for myself , maybe because I have no more wishes left also because I know it's just you who's will shall be done.
But just, stay with me. It's too dark here and I'm scared.
He sleeps beside me, every night,
And I curse myself for I reek of his bitter sweat, ever since the day we exchanged vows, cause he has a penis and wears an invisible cape,
I have been broken by him, and left shattered, in fragments and pieces,
But how can I fight back? Cause there is no such thing as MARITAL RAPE !!!