to say I didn’t hate you,
that would be a lie
to wish I didn’t miss you
to regret that goodbye
from love to pain
from hurt to hate
to learn and gain
a better fate
Sometimes the loneliness creeps in at night
I'm fine one minute then suddenly not right
I reach for the phone but there's no one to call
The only company is the emptiness in the hall
But I don't even know if I could describe
What is happening to my insides
How could anyone paint this sorrow?
My bones feel heavy but at the same time hollow
And my heart could collapse in my chest
That's if at first it doesn't go into arrest
I have trouble reaching for the comfort I seek
Because I don't want to be known for being weak
I know in myself that I am strong
But everyone needs someone after so long
Right now I can't recall the feel of human touch
I'm thinking three years without it is too much
I know you have experienced the darkness within you getting lighter. Your future together was starting to look brighter. Your conversations helped you escape and create something you truly believed that was fate. But to date, I know there is nothing more you hate than the fact that you took the bait and discovered it was never love to begin with so late. @PLECCA
When I was a child I believed that everyone has someone they can trust, someone they can always fall back on, but life happened to me and I realised it the hard way that they leave, they all leave, or they find someone else.
I did it again. $100. A bottle of cheap vodka and dinner for 2 from Wendy's, plus the $60 and taco bell dinner I got 2 nights ago.
I wanted it to feel good i wanted to enjoy it but my body went numb and my mind went blank ... i forgot how to fuck. I forgot how to give head. It all hurt and i couldn't breath. My body made disgusting nosies... i had gross green snot bubbles smeared over my lips and in my eye brows. My pussy sang like a whoopie cushion with each thrust . I tried to get drunk slamming shot after shot but I couldn't catch a buzz to save my life. He loved it though he came all over my sloppy cunt. Then I ushered him away despite his kindness and genuine respect for me . I have a...
Something strange happened.
I looked into someone’s eyes.
And though I met them
For the very first time,
I felt all the stars align,
And felt I found home, in
Looked them in the eyes,
Like they were mirrors,
And saw the same pain
And suffering, that
I too have survived.
Love & pain are identical twins, inseparable, coexisting in fools like myself, chasing nothing but the bliss of an idea and bound by an undying sense of lingering impermanence.
A veces cuesta tanto llorar y desahogar el alma. Eso duele y quema todavía más.
“LETTING GO PT.1”
If u hate me that much
Than Let me go
U say that u love me
But i just dont know
U say my name like its gross
Ur eyes burn holes
U cant touch me
And my hands growing cold
Why did u even let go
I lie awake at night
Racking my brain
Tryn to think of all my past mistakes
That lead up to the moment
Where u started looking at me with rage
Tears seem to slip down my face
Im not one to admit
That i have all these feels
Only In My Dreams...
I had a dream of my son doing something unsettling to a couple of toys && I kept asking “why?”. My son struggled to come up with an answer && I remember there being chaos all around us, I looked at my son && said “it’s okay, it’s okay if you don’t know. Sometimes mommy doesn’t know. Mommy doesn’t always know the answer && you won’t always either but that’s okay.”
LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, b...
I just want to feel clean again.
I can’t get this dirt off me..
Slowely but surely
I pulled myself from the ground
All that weight
Wouldn’t keep me down
My momma said I was strong for sure
I wont stop until there is a cure
All this pain
Keep me sane
First struggle complete
Onto the next
I wont stop
I wont rest
LOSE THE LOST
Tell me whats on your mind
And ill make it alright
I cant lose you
I cant lose you
I need you here
All my tears
And ill listen
To everything you say
So tell me whats on your mind
Cause im here to stay
Hay una comodidad endiablada en estar solo, en ser un sólo elemento, independiente, fuerte, sin sentimientos, sin darle la oportunidad a nadie de que te importe, de que te lastime. Estar solo es cómodo, es irresistiblemente tentador.
What can i do to ease my pain?
Listen to the sounds of the ocean?
Meditate my way into ultimate zen?
But it is this pain that has kept me sane-
So it comes in like a hurricane,
Reducing everything to a plane,
Now i can not just hear but really listen;
To what comes after - the rain
It's neither chaotic nor inane,
Each drop in symphony with the other,
Like music that heals, from nature mother,
I shun myself on this, for I smother-
The collateral beauty of pain,
The more I try the more I fail:
At the art of embracing it ,
Without letting it consume me bit by bit,
I cannot succumb yet, I cannot retreat !
This is the unfinished story,
Of an impending feat.
I hate when you won’t talk to me.
Sure, you say words, but the conversations are shallow. It feels like I'm speaking to your shadow -- not your real self. I just want to get to know you on a deeper level, and I hate that you won’t let me.
Because I know that, deep down inside, there’s love. There’s a big, caring heart and an incredibly beautiful soul.
You influenced me in a way that no one else will ever influence me again. And the path I’m on is largely due to having met and loved you.