Bubble of Friendship - Burst the Myth
Loving your friends more than yourself,
Is that a crime?
Caring for someone beyond your comfort zone, maybe, that is what I have learned.
Sometimes it might look like a bit cumbersome to get stuck with those feelings and expectations and to see them not reciprocate in the similar manner.
I won't lie, but seeing them not doing the same; lets me down in some way..
The time will change, and they will care and do the same...
Ray of hope, keeps me going, and the tunnel is about to end.
But the Bubble of my utopian world is blown tight and for a while this is just -- right!
LOST (A SHORT STORY?)
I pressed both sticky palms to the glass, eyes wide, mesmerised by the colourful fairies and woodland animals - motorised toys that danced and pranced along their circuitous routes in the shop window. "Look, Mum! That one there with the rainbow wings!" I turned and beamed at my mother standing at my side with what I hoped was an endearing smile... except it wasn't my mother. The old lady beside me coughed and shuffled her feet awkwardly.
"I'm afraid I'm not your mother, dear," she sniffed.
I shrank back away from her, staring as she moved away back into the crowd. Where was my mother? I turned and scanned the tumultuous sea of fac...
I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT........
Am I the only one that goes completely fucking insane when someone looks at me and says.....
"Happiness is a choice"
First of all you "HAPPY BITCH"
DO YOU THINK I ENJOY FEELING LIKE THIS??
DEPRESSION IS SOMETHING I CANT EXPLAIN, AN WHEN I TRY TO ANXIETY TAKES COMPLETE CONTROL.
Just know I'm not always this way. This isolated state is something I've never been through. I'm learning how to cope with it too. I understand if it's something you can't do! Just know I don't wake up wanting to hurt you. I apologise for hurting you while trying to find me.
I am tired.
Tired of being treated like the different one
the young one
The bold one
the old one,
I’m really tired.
Of being the lesser one
because there is ALWAYS better one
of someone assuming I’m the weak one
though the first to speak one,
I’m really god damn tired.
But at least I am whole
And I am one
Unlike the someone
who tries to mentally dismember the ones who actually
have their s h i t together.
Dwelling on the opinions of sheep
is the Achilles’ tendon of our inner lion.
It is peaceful to remember one thing;
Those with the largest insecurities
beg on their knees
behind ugly words
for as much confidence as you.
Oh how I hoped for you to be my dreams come to life,
instead you became my living nightmare!
En este momento ya no lucho contra el deseo y los sentimientos, dejo que me consuma, ya no tengo de otra más que ver cómo muero cada día un poco más.
What the hell is this NEW unprecedented darkness that is vehemently enshrouding me?
I can't breathe....
It's so frigidly and inexplicably cold HERe
wHERe and when is HERe presently?
EveN completely submerged in scalding Hot bath water
I'm still shivering with goosebumps underneath the Lavender waves
I can feel the imminent death of millions being callously thrown into their graves
Oh Death!!! What have You done?
What NEW sting have you now brought?
That leaves Everyone's souls left to necrotize and FOReva Rot?
It's been a hard couple of months..
Trying to make it work...
For our children...
For our family....
You say you love me...
You say you care...
You say you'll stop doing things...
You think I'm happy...
You think I'm fine...
You think we're alright now...
Couple of months go by...
You got brave...
You did all them things again...
You didn't come home for 11 hours...
Your daughter cried herself to sleep because your the only one she wanted...
You didn't believe me...
She tells mummy she likes daddy...
But yet when you yell she crys and comes to mummy...
She's scared of you...
So am I...
The baby doesn't know...
You think your safe...
But neither ...
This is week 1 since having my baby. & I can’t begin to express how I feel. I’m scared to. I feel like no one will try to prioritize understanding me. I cooked dinner, while in pain. I asked my husband to help me and instead he opted out and did something else. I’m hurt, it’s been three days and I haven’t spoken to him about it. I feel so unattractive, and unloved. I deserve credit. But it’s not given, it’s like no one cares about how I feel. I cry, and cry... where are my hugs? Where’s my remorse? Where is the “how are you feeling today?” “Are you okay?”
1 week postpartum and it sucks..
To see you I have to close my eyes.
To feel you I have to let go.
To surrender is my way ito you.
To let go is how I am with you.
No quiero pensar que te fuiste de mi lado por alguna razón. Que porque un dios tenía ese plan. No quiero pensar en eso, porque sería muy injusto.
¿Qué tan cruel debe ser un dios para apartarte así de mi? tan de repente, tan dolorosamente... No debería existir razón para esto.
Te extraño cada día, y cada noche, el doble.
Besos al cielo, mi amor.
It’s a bit difficult to recover from a situation knowing you had no choices. No choices for the individual who passed away and no choices for the individual who mourns. We know nothing when it comes to death. The individuals who pass on leave on terms that is between themselves and the universe. For those who are left behind are bound to the horrific terms of grief until they fully accept it.
But in the end, this is life. We come to teach and learn from one another. The bigger picture is appreciating what was and to continue down our journey.
I never thought that I would ever lose my 18 year old son that day.
Now, I see my 17 year old hovering over his brother’s grave. Crying in silent ...
----- Fight depression -----
She studied science,
But she was not a scientist,
She never studied arts,
Yet she was an artist,
She was a happy go lucky girl,
Always lost in her own world,
But things took a bitter turn,
When life decided to become a sadist,
Along with losing her father,
She lost her lively nature,
For the world around her.. she became a weird creature,
She was stressed, she was depressed,
She started facing the world with her tears suppressed,
We no shoulder to cry on.. she started feeling all the more distressed,
With each passing day,
She slept with a hope,
Hope that things will be better the next day,
And yet again... the whole day,
In the cacoon of her depression she sta...
When you've married the very monster who held your head underwater as a kid; when will you spread your wings and fly? You've forever clipped, spat, even self tarred for mother and now for him . You may reply you have changed, for with the birth of your child that will be the safeness and saving grace. But Ultimately, dear child, its a cycle continued..... I hope you can breathe
As days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months into years,
My warm smile slowly came back again and dried up my tears.
I started to find strength, from my hearts pain,
I also learnt, never to love anyone more, than oneself ever again.
- Messy Thoughts -
It’s been a rough four days. Ive been crying and can’t seem to stop thinking of everything that I’ve been through with my ex. Even though we haven’t had the best relationship knowing he was ok with hurting me kills me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong, independent and hardworking mama at the end of the day, but there were times that I needed him, there were times I loved him and he made me smile and there were times where I just wanted to cry and run away. To know how far he was ok taking things and ruining everything we had not only opened my eyes, but showed me I deserved so much more.
This isn’t my first rodeo though. I was previously already a domestic violence survivor. I fought my ba...
The time lag
Day after Day I passed
without demanding from you to always keep me company
Day by Day I live with a heavy heart
even though this heart hurts and restlessly waits for when this time lag Will end?
I want to go to forever lands...
I want to go
Where all the trippers dwell
I want to be a foe
For all my good times as well.
As they remind me of you,
Pouring through heart’s crack.
To where all the sufferings brew,
I don’t wish to go back.
I want to go
Where all happys are,
I want to be a foe
Just for my brutal scar.
Time and time again,
As the seasons' pass.
Kept on getting used to pain,
It's always there as background bass.
I want to go
Where the smile lasts.
I want to be a foe
For all my haunting pasts.
I don’t choose pain
I don’t get to choose any
They happen again and again
Giving me strokes many.
I want to go
Where the is just peace
I want to b...
When someone is silent to you
It doesn't mean they don't have anything to explain it to you
It means they have tongues to express too
The unconditional love and unimaginable pain can express via silence
When brain don't find a word to explain heart express that via silence
When people don't want to understand you
The best answer from you is silence
Silence becomes a heart for a happy soul
And silence become a weapon for a screaming soul....
- Bhavya Kotian.....
Sad people have most beautiful smile,
For they have travelled the path of life,
With a fear that it will be difficult to walk another mile,
Yet they emerge out of that sadness, Walking not just another mile,
But a whole new journey...
Writing stories about their life...
Sad within... yet making people smile...