A raped soul....
When you bare your heart to the one you love,
A simple gesture in return is something we deserve,
But when I see you simply reading those heartfelt texts to never reply,
It makes me question,
Does it even matter to you, the amount of courage it takes to show You My vulnerability?
Did you start taking me for granted?
Coz I'm feeling so, it kills me to know that expressing my feelings, removing the filters, baring my soul has been belittled to such a scale.
I wonder if you even noticed that I've stopped writing poems for you,
I had to, it seemed you were just getting bored by what I have for you.
You never appreciated the mere fact that there's a person...
Estoy cansada de llorar y de no sentirme suficiente,
Nunca seré suficiente
Pero estoy cansada de intentar, sentir que mejoro para que llegue alguien a decirme que soy la misma mierda que siempre he sido, que nunca cambiaré, que jamás seré suficiente.
Estoy cansada de que otros crean saber quién soy, que crean que soy desechable.
Ya no quiero que alguien me acepte
Quiero sentirme bien conmigo sin que venga alguien a tirarme mierda.
Solo quiero estar sola
Solo quiero desaparecer
Everytime oh I feel that
I'm wasting my chances,
I'm easily ignored, when I
Told you my problems,
You took them for granted
I've accepted it all
When my mother told me that
Bury your problems, it didn't
Reach me at all, it was summer
Or winter, I don't quite remember
Every season seems same now,
It's autumn everywhere, winds
Carrying dead lives. And
Nostalgia hit me round the corner
Where it hurts the hardest,
I sensed a moral compassion
With my past self, I know
It's wrong to be proud of what you
I will go waste, all in and all
In just one shot. And I shiver
When these thoughts struck
Inside my brain, on top a box of
My past self, behind the shelf
Who I buried long back
I look into the mirror
And my broken self
Its not important that I recognise myself
Just that I'm there
The sharp edges of my life hold me
And the impressions of suffering
Are the expressions screaming out
And after the many tears
I'm still here
My frayed lips
still have the signs of life
When is it all enough...
When you get everything you've hoped for
or when when the going gets tough
Who decides this threshold..?
Is it you
or is it the time demanding you fold
They say it's all in your control
Then why can't you contain the sand of time slipping through your fingers
Or the harsh reality staring at you amidst the dreams you hold that lingers.
Listening to the voices speak for their political drums, seeing the people march to the political beat.
They say we think for ourselves. I laugh at their words. You are sheep,waiting for the reasons, a reason to riot. A reason to hate. You march to nothing but the deliverance of emptiness that bullies others to your own pace!
You believe you are right. If it offends you, rip it down, burn the books, destroy history. Go to the safe places, hide flee.
We have turned into a nation where we preach being wrong does not matter, get a trophy just for participation.
If our old men and women preach it from the tops of congress, it is progress? No it is hot air with a lot of stress!
My mind is a labyrinth-
not that complex, really,
but every twist and turn I take,
all I find, all I see,
are my nightmares, my demons,
all the ugly parts of me.
Is my mind my enemy?
Does it want to kill me?
Oh, how bitter is the taste of despair,
where there's no light, where there's
And part of me wants to succumb to this quiet, horrible madness,
If it wasn't for the tight grip in my chest, if it wasn't for that fine line
that still holds me to life.
You tried to clothe her
In a dress of lies to hide
Truths of who you were.
#DressOfLies #AugFalls poetry challenge
Part 4 - Sadness
My mom and I used to watch the Olympics together when I was younger. We'd sit in her queen bed with snacks and cheer on the USA in every competition.
My favorite was track and field. That's because my brother's and I use to run. However, the one sport that caught my attention was swimming. I tried to learn how to swim but was never good at it so it was interesting to watch people that were exceptional. The way they stayed underwater so long barely coming up for air was mesmerizing, especially at such a fast speed.
I say that to say this - that motion reminds me of how I am with sadness. It's like swimming in the water. You're underneath for so long only coming up for air...
When you go you will take a piece of me with you.
You never left my side.
You took care of me the best way you knew how.
As I look at your frail body, your tiny face and your lifeless hands.....
I kiss your forehead and tell you oh how much I love you daddy.
We will meet again I am sure of it.
Go in peace, May you suffer no more.
Wow the things that happen in the world is shocking to my thoughts, tonight my ex brother in law was killed....shot in the head ...how does this happen? Death brings reality to light cause dead is dead I can't believe it I remember times with him when we was still a family...how things change with each year, my heart aches for my neice and nephew and my sister ...his mother and step father. Even tho it had been years since they were together still he was a part of my life and it's now a memory....why it breaks my heart still I will miss you and now write letters here 💔 I can't believe you are gone 😢 Goodbye hope your in a good place I know your babies are going to miss you
Reasons why I’m ready to leave Illinois.
#1: I’m getting tired of the people here. My family and the fact that my son loves his dad so much i can’t take him away from that. It is literally all that’s keeping me here.
#2: I seriously am starting to HATE my kids father and the lies he keeps up with.
It makes me sick to my stomach that he lies about the dumbest things. I just want no part of him anymore. I don’t feel anything when he touches me anymore. When I dropped our son off today and he kissed me, I felt nothing. I’m truly over him and all the bs that comes with him. I can’t do it anymore.
I believe that he was a season that God put me through to make me stronger but now, it’s time...
Lost feelings, lost hearts
Lost in the wilderness, ghosts in the dark.
A single clearing, where I can find light
That's where you rest, and I find refuge beside you.
Your skin is cool, like I'm holding the breeze,
And your whispers are hot, causing me to freeze.
I'm always pulled away from my refuge,
And lose my way.
I wish, just once, you would instead come and find me,
Your lost refugee.
I sleep at the time I don't want to
I'm awake in my bed, when I shouldn't be
A constant voice in my head screams something frightening
Even my body's giving up on guilt now
A discomfort tells me to look up
The guilt tells me to look down
I'm in the middle of a never ending conflict
God, even i can't save myself now
There's voice in my head that's fading
I don't want it to die but I'm strangled
The worst part of all these, I'm still conscious
While its eating me whole alive
Part 3 - Anger
I love superhero movies and one that I can relate the most to is The Hulk.
In one of the movies another character asked him - "How do you get so angry?"
His response was, "I always am."
That's me - I am always angry. I believe there are different types of anger - outward and inward. Outward is more aggressive and directed towards others - it can come out in the way you treat others and it can show on your face. Inwards is different. It has to do with how you feel about yourself.
I have a tendency to be outwardly angry. I get angry quickly and don't always do a good job of expressing that emotion. It can be aggressively shown through my tone of voice or demeanor....
The wealthiest man, is he who has his health and family.
I wish I had someone to fall back upon, someone to love, someone to kiss a tearful goodbye.
I am tired.
Everyone else seems to have a place to go to, somewhere they belong, someone they belong to.
And I, I sit with my nose pressed to the window watching.
Everyone leaves. Everyone eventually leaves.
Only I, have nowhere to go.
A miscalculation, a piece that doesn’t fit the puzzle.
I see them with their families, sometimes I pretend, that these people are mine.
But I belong to no one. And I have no one.
I groan and roll myself out of bed, 30 minutes later I’m on my way to the hospital, my head in my hands.
But even more painful ...
Los minutos pasan y se hacen horas...
Una lagrima huidiza se escapa de mis ojos y recorre mi mejilla...
Una batalla interna de dolor y rabia que no se detiene...
La espera va apagando la esperanza de que aparezcas...
Y ese mensaje no llega...
With a heavy heart, I lay myself to bed.
They did it again. They hurt me again.
By now I should've been numb from the constant sorrow that creeps into me, but I still feel it dragging me; choking me every time.
I hate them, but I know I always have to love them.