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You tiptoe around it, peek from the corners because you learnt your lessons. The walls are high and expectations low. Yet,the day you really do fall, it will flood the gates and erupt through the walls and somehow you still won't be drowning because true love when it happens, takes your breath and breathes life into you, all at the same time and all that's left to do is, let yourself love. One more time.
Writing Prompt : #iamlistening
I recently posted a suicide awareness post on Facebook which spoke about all the people we leave behind crying when we take that one step towards death . The amount of shares and reactions it got shook me and made me realise that so many people are silently suffering, waiting for that one hand in a crowd that might save them and reach them and pull them, out of the darkness that seems to have no end. It made me realise that we all are just waiting to be heard and loved and believed in. This challenge is for anyone who is either battling depression or who has pearls of wisdom for anyone who could be reading . Please write an open letter tagging it #imlistening...
Some lessons are learnt only when they no longer need to be applied but maybe , just maybe this reaches someone who's still deliberating what it is that should be done if ever on a crossroad to love..
Here's what I learnt :
1) Love happens, again and again and then again , chemistry, not so much.
2) Age is a big factor in the kind of person you choose to love , maybe at 30 you want a mature ,stable man but at 23 you're still looking to make a few mistakes.
3)Branch out. Too often, love and connections don't happen ,not because of anything else but the simple fact that you are basically meeting the same people day in and out, where's the door to new in that ?
4) Love is something we all chas...
Is it the salty smell of sea ,
Or the water upto my knees,
The smell of rain on earth,
Or a child's laugh ,dripping mirth.
Is it the smell of roasted coffee beans,
Or pizza with melted cheese
Is it the smell of old books,
Or the way my mama cooks.
Is it that one hot searing kiss,
Or days when words flow like this,
Addiction thou art a tricky being,
You tie me, be it people , feelings or just a thing
A serious life addict
For someone who lives romance through movies and books more than real life can provide ( No, I'm not a skeptic. I just know what not to expect in a life of 365 days of a rollercoaster of joy and sorrow ,from a movie of few minutes and a book of few pages :) ).
They say, the most amazing things happen when a movie derives its meaning from reality but I disagree. I think sometimes ,we need an escape. We need a hidden gateway to beauty, love and fantasies and that's what the romantic movies do. They make your heart melt and sometimes even the hardness from a love gone wrong and when all had failed to get the tears out, these movies will, it's therapy really..
I have lived through so many, I ca...
Dear John Green,
I don't know how you do it. I don't know how words stop becoming sounds and instead become wavelengths when you weave them into sentences. There are so many sentences from all of your books that I carry within me, some as lessons and some as a solace to the fact that I wasn't alone in feeling the way I did..
One of your best lines was "Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said.
"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway."
I was the one made those promises to and I was also the one who made them. The man I love, is also the man I hate . The boy who made innumerable...
I sometimes look back and shake my head in wonder. If someone had told me a decade ago I will be where I am today, I would have laughed it off. What is it that seperates me now from that girl ? Time, experiences, evolution and destiny. They say, your destiny is in your hands. I began that way too. The wild zest that hope comes with, and then series after series ,some events unfolded in my own life that had nothing to do with my choices or actions. I met people that hurt me like enemies and I went through life shattering losses that I couldn't alter despite trying my best to.
I look back and I think maybe I could have done xyz differently, but would I have really ?? As time passed, I began fo...
What is it that you wait for now ? Is it my skin to grow flowers of love from the scars of nostalgia that you left on my heart ? Or is it the never ending wait, for me to say it was okay, to leave when you did, while I learnt to live with this heart, shattered ,taped but very much in love with being on its own.
Go easy on my heart ,oh restless soul. It may be a new year but I'm still me. I still have scars and I need to take baby steps towards change.
Rome they say, wasn't built in a day.
Skylark Challenge #67
"I never gave you a grand gesture gift", one lazy morning you had asked and this is what I said
"If I had to do it all over again, I know I would still end up here, in the blanket of your arms wondering what it is that kept pulling us together when everything else was acting as nothing but barricades to a destination , that we still haven't reached. We've been slowed down and stopped, jaded and scarred but here we are. One look in those eyes and I melt like the very first time and one touch of your hand on the wounds that we wear like battle scars now and I know I'm done, done for an eternity. We can swirl together or escape to an island of solitary wandering, bu...
What if your breath is all that I'll breathe into anyone henceforth..
What if your eyes are all I'll see each time he smiles and looks into mine..
What if your touches have left birthmarks,from the whole new person that I've become...
What if you really were the one and time is all we needed and if only you had some.
The below is a small glipmse into what festivals do and that's just simple....Unite and tie and smear the walls of the world...With Love...❤
"You can try to ignore the happiness and anticipation but it won't go away..not just yet ...
You can try to tell yourself, this isn't my festival and that I don't need the hassle but it won't go away..not just yet..
You can try and act unaware when your timelines are flooded with cheers and gifts and food spread out for the world to smell and taste but it won't go away ..not just yet...
See you can try and try and try some more, that festivals not unite hearts scattered across the world but the hatred won't be back for a few days....not just yet .."
Not feeling, is also a feeling. Sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet.You could be discussing your lost love and realize you don't feel a thing anymore. You could also be in the middle of a party and realize that the noise doesn't reach you anymore.Bitter or sweet, the only aftertaste that's left is , who or what got you there and the lessons it imprinted.
Something about that evening,still rivets me. Your awkward attempt to twirl me left me instead with a free laugh and an open heart. Who knew that in my quest to perfection ,I was losing the togetherness that only clumsiness and imperfections bring.
I met you when I was a young girl, brimming with ideas of movies and songs and romantic novels and crushes and there you were. You were all I had hoped for and also all I feared. While your love warmed me ,like coals in a fireplace, soft and happy, you on the outside,like all beautiful things were somewhat imperfect as per the world standards. You see ,you weren't towering above me like men should, and you weren't into dancing like I was. You di...
And when the music within me,stops,I hope my lyrics still find meaning within you..
And when all's said and done and dust settles on me,I hope I still breathe life in you through my words..
#RIP Leonard Cohen .
Photo Challenge #23
And here I am. How did we get here ? I ask myself . I ask myself because you're never here ,like all those times when you just weren't . I listen to my sinking heartbeat and hear the pain drowning me like a rock tied to my feet. I listen to my insides because you haven't heard me ,like all those times when you just didn't....
Do you remember the day you gave me this ring ? I rake my thoughts for the answer. I rake my brain because you used yours to capacity from the beginning . I was a calculated risk. You didn't give me the ring on a day full of romance. You handed it as an eventuality you were fine with.
Do you remember the day we first touched ? My...
When I leave,I'll leave behind trails of me ..trails that lead you to me like merging roads ending in the same destination..
It's the day I'm gone darling,that you'll breathe me on each journey ,smell me in the petals scattered on the way. ..
You didn't love me...you lived me...I was you...and when I leave ..I'll take you with me...and you'll have some of me...
It all begins with the little details. The books they love,the places you locked eyes,the corner where you first stole a kiss,the curve of their lip when they smile, the tiny wrinkle near their eyes when they laugh too hard.
It's these seashells that you're left with once they leave and you struggle to find new meanings to old details because haven't you heard...
"The devil is in the details " ??
I couldn't breathe,no matter how hard I tried or how many times I twisted in my chair. There were hordes of people around and the world around me kept buzzing with a thrumming silence. What was happening? I was sinking inside and somehow still wide awake.
A week back ,the love of my life had decided that things weren't exactly how he planned,that he wanted different things in life. I agreed . Breakups are as common as the flu . I didn't care. He never loved me enough or it would have worked . I ignored the signs of pain and kept going on,blocking him everywhere(a ritual that follows breakups just like night follows day)
What I didn't expect was the crippling pain that decided to curl arou...
They say when you find the one ,you know it's forever
They say when I saw you ,they saw my eyes light up like glistening orbs as bright as the moon
You said we met by a delicious chance of fate and that ,like the peaceful corners of a church ,I finally brought you home
I said, I am naive,and that my face still bore resemblance to the road maps of scars life before you left
We said , we will brave it all and that love conquers all
But darling,between what we said and did, we forgot one little detail,
Love comes in like autumn leaves,washing over all the pain but life comes in with seasons and you and ,with our timings were just a little bit late...
A rolled up crafty paper ring, paint on her nose,he did not go down on his knees. He kept her hand to his booming heartbeats and smiled through the eyes. His muse and hers' would melt into togetherness and create art forever.
"The Last Melody"
The music just didn't stop ringing in his ears. It wasn't the kind of music you could run away from. It was a call, and he could do nothing other than follow it . The notes melted in his ear drums and yet his nerves were on edge ,knowing that this dark pond isnt exactly where his long walk was supposed to end.. Up until this very moment of all consuming feeling of awareness, he had been numb for a while dealing with whatever life had been throwing at him.
A tap on his shoulder jolted the insides of his belly , and a curdling scream later ,he was inside the pond, drowning ,the music growing closer , almost like thick whispers of upcoming horror. There was noone but her....
Her love made her a warrior, his made him a diplomat
Her love opened her eyes to the world, his were half shut looking at 4 walls.
Her love screamed a galaxy of promises, his were a handful of party glitter .
She was fire and rainstorms, he carried umbrellas and avoided the puddles.
She was a forever, he was a rest stop.
Tonight I want to remember , all that went my way instead of flying astray like that tiny soap bubble we once thought would stay afloat forever because as we grow, we also know, that most things weave a pattern that our plans know nothing of.
We live in a world where cynicism jumps on us, in every corner. We all need to feel loved and yet we have hidden the expectations that come with it in the attic of our hearts, the key handed to the brain. We want the love but not the hurt that comes with being vulnerable. We want peace but we don't want to give ourselves the reasons to achieve it. It's a vicious circle, some say
Tonight, I want to remember my blessings and if we really open our eyes, ...
War against terror
Or terrorising with war
Faith against science
Or science diminishing all
How many times can a man turn his head and pretend he doesn't see?
Destruction for reincarnation
Or reincarnated power that destructs
Man against horror
Or horror inflicted on men
How many times can a man turn his head and pretend he doesn't see?
Blood against brainwash
Or brainwash running in veins
Is humanity fighting terror
Or terror killing humanity
How many times can a man turn his head and pretend he doesn't see?
"You will never say to yourself when you are old,
Ah,I wish I wasn't good to that person.
You will never think that"
--Khaled Hosseini , And The Mountains Echoed
I never regret my small town childhood. I think somewhere it gave me time to breathe life before life knocked the breath out of me. But it also made me question time and again if somewhere I missed out learning the ways of the world. I blamed myself for being too emotional as most would put it..
We come into this world ,so blank and empty that whatever voices and emotions that perspire around, slowly resonate and fill us until the brim overflows..
We've all had those bone breaking, crushing moments of anguish where we sc...
Musical notes carry so much with them. In their intangible closet ,they store memories- of a love long lost , inspiration to get up and show up, chirpy glimpses of that party you went crazy wild in and danced till your feet hurt, favorite songs of the loved ones you lost and so many emotions that human words in 26 alphabets can barely gather .
But most of all...music makes you feel things in the most unadulterated form that there is. You don't hear music judge you or leave you when it suits...
Had a bad day? Plug into that funky number that gets you to go into "I don't give a damn" mood. Missing home ? Some long lost country song plays somewhere and tears fall like rains in winters, without...
And gradually we stop dreaming. We dream in the confines of our mind ,scared to tell anyone what the heart really wants
It could be that you always loved cooking and dreamt of being a sous chef but hey, you're an engineer!
It could be that you wanted to be a traveller , no holds barred,but hey you have a loan to pay!
It's not that we don't want those dreams anymore. We just stop listening . We are the "All or nothing " generation after all.
But let me ask you this..When was the last time you really really felt peace ?
Did it really come at the price of an expensive outing among friends you wouldn't open up to or was it when just out of nowhere you connected with someone ?
Ask any celebr...